Diamonds In The Cold [David’s blog on KS Friday]

The already cold temperatures are dropping like a stone. The weather app described tonight and tomorrow with a single word: frigid.

Kerri and I have a dilemma: as we age she is getting more sensitive to the heat. I am getting more sensitive to the cold. “What are we going to do?” I asked. She gave me “the look.”

Do you ever marvel, as I do, how much can be communicated in a single look?

For now, we are staying put. We will dream dreams of mountain homes in temperate zones. Places where horses roam, where trails are aplenty, where both hot-flashes and cold-shivers are nowhere to be found. We will practice the art of compromise.

I suppose it is easier for me to pile on more clothes than it is for her to find more layers to take off. I won’t get arrested if I move through the public looking like the Michelin Man but she will certainly raise eyebrows if she strips to the original layer. “I’ll get my sweater,” I say, as she dials down the thermostat.

Henrik Ibsen wrote, “The devil is compromise,” but I am learning that compromise – healthy compromise – doesn’t live in an either/or world. It is not populated by devils or angels. That is a strategy of loss, a begrudging middle-ground arrived at by settling. I’m discovering that it is possible for compromise to paint from a broader palette. Middle ground is just as easily arrived at by giving. Generosity can be mutual. Peace is a creation. Compromise begins with making offers. It’s called “relationship.”

“All compromise is based on give and take, but there can be no give and take on fundamentals…” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Perhaps the most relevant insight of late into compromise is something I am only now understanding and my teacher is the politics of the day: the art of compromise is a terrific way of discerning what is fundamental and what is not. A few weeks ago I wrote that I’d discovered my intolerance. I found through this election that I have hard lines that I will not cross. In other words, I’ve found my fundamentals.

The rest of Gandhi’s thought is this: “…Any compromise on mere fundamentals is a surrender. For it is all give and no take.”

I believe that a good many people in this nation surrendered their fundamentals. Or, they never had them in the first place.

And so, here we are. And while we wait for the nation to either dissolve or find its hard line, we will hunker down in our happy home, control what we can control, and through sweaters and thermostats, practice the fine art of generosity, offering the mutual gift of compromise. Diamonds in the cold.

It’s A Long Story on the album This Part Of The Journey © 1998 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about CHALK DIAMONDS

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Climb The Stairs [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

It was a rare treat to climb the stairs to the rooftop deck and gaze into the night sky, unobstructed by city lights. Years ago I worked with kids in Los Angeles, teenagers, who had never seen the stars. Standing on the roof, overwhelmed by the Milky Way, I thought about those children, now well into their adulthood, and hoped that they had, at long last, found a way to peer into the endless universe.

What else might adequately provide them the understanding of the impossibility of their existence, the enormity of their lives? What else might open their eyes and hearts to the necessity of community, the recognition that their lives only have meaning relative to the people who share this planet and this moment-in-time with them? Relationship is purpose.

We have seven days. In biblical terms that’s how long it took the metaphoric god to differentiate light from dark, land from sea, moon from sun, animals from humans. Rest from work. Humanity’s role in this story of creation is to appreciate the enormity of their unlikely existence. To steward. To name. To discern between merit and the meritless, between truth and lie. To distinguish good intention from ill-intention.

We have seven days until we vote. Although we might pretend this is normal, this election is like no other in our lifetimes. The issues have taken a back seat to the question of our existence as a democracy. We are determining whether or not we are still capable of distinguishing truth from lie, whether or not we are willing to toss away our freedoms and replace them with authoritarian rage, whether or not we will serve the needs of the greater community or the power-lust of an individual.

Seven days. We will either step forward as champions of light and truth or we will turn our backs on what we know to be true and fall backwards into the dark fascist promises of Project 2025.

Under the stars we have a choice: to continue our quest to realize the dream of a more perfect union, with liberty and justice for all – or to exchange our constitution for the autocratic craving of an angry despot. To honestly name what we know to be true.

There’s still time to climb the stairs, peer into the starry sky, and realize the power of our choices, what is at stake in this, our time, our moment.

read Kerri’s blogpost about STARS

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A Different Criteria [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

“The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.” ~ John Muir

I once read that the word “wild” was only necessary to a people who’ve deluded themselves into thinking that they are somehow separate from or above nature, that wild is something that desperately needs to be tamed.

In a culture where many are predisposed to believe that one’s personal nature is fundamentally corrupt (sin-full) and, therefore, requires serious controlling, all of nature is destined to suffer the same fate. Rivers are dammed. Forests eradicated. Waterways and air polluted. It is inevitable. All of nature is reduced to the word “resource”. It is the ultimate expression of taming. A resource to be used and then discarded.

Human resources. We are not excluded from the reduction since we are the source and executors of the degradation. Is it no wonder that so many are so certain that their lives have little or no purpose, value, or meaning. Used and discarded. The magic and mystery of this enormous universe rendered inaccessible. Subdued. Tamed.

It’s never made sense to me.

There are other systems of belief on this earth that are not built upon separation-from-nature but upon relationship-with-nature. Wild and tame are not oppositional but part of the same whole.

In workshops – teaching what I most needed to learn – I used to tell people that “Nothing is broken and nothing needs to be fixed.” Start with a loving premise. And see what happens. It fosters a different view of the world. It fosters a foundational shift in the understanding of “self”.

Starting with appreciation-of-self leads naturally to appreciation-of-others. Inclusive.

People incessantly trying to fix themselves grow blind to others. It’s the path of self-absorption. Exclusive.

People who fundamentally love their nature…begin with love. In love, they are naturally connected to all of nature, through their nature. Interdependent. Unified. There is nothing to fix. There are expansive experiences. Rather than tame, there is caring for the health of the whole. From a grounding in love, there is an entirely different set of criteria for making choices.

In love, it is easy to see: what we do to nature, we do to ourselves. What we do to others, we do to ourselves.

read Kerri’s blogpost about NATURE

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Live Another Day [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab.]

It’s taken me some time to learn but I now know exactly what to do. Stay. Out. Of. The. Way.

The length of the trip does not matter. My man-brain defaults to simplicity and allows me to pack in a few minutes with minimal thought and no stress. That is not true for Kerri. For her, packing takes weeks. Weeks. She suffers. She angsts. She frets. She loses sleep. In fact, it is common for us to complete the trip, be home unpacking – and she will continue to roll doubt through her choices. “Oh, I should have taken…”

The worst thing I can do is try to help. The second worst thing I can do is to finish packing before she zips her bag. So, while she climbs this mountain, fords this river, bears this burden…I will remain unhelpful, purposefully scarce, eerily quiet and strategically unpacked, yet I will live to travel another day.

read Kerri’s blogpost about PACKING

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How To Harmonize [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

“Nature, in the intimate and in the vast, is not designed. It is designing. Our own nature confirms it.” ~ N.J. Berrill, You and the Universe (via The Marginalian)

 In one of our famous conversations, Horatio suggested I read Ernest Becker’s Pulitzer Prize winning book, The Denial of Death. So, I did. Horatio has never led me astray. Boiled down to an essence, as a unifying principle for religion and science, it unpacks the human dilemma of being a finite animal with an unlimited imagination. We are unique among creatures because we know we will die yet we have the capacity to imagine ourselves infinite. And so, to live beyond the veil, we think we must leave a mark, to serve a greater purpose. We must seek or give meaning to our limited time. No other animal carries so great a burden, this split-dance of separation and unity.

It is an understatement to suggest that it has set me to thinking. It is the ultimate in creative tension.

For ages, artists have painted the Danse Macabre. Some are a painting a warning: it’s coming so be ready! Some are painting an appeal: it’s precious so live every moment of it!

And this is what Horatio’s recommendation has me thinking: It’s a cycle of movement, like the tides or the cycle of the seasons, the movement of the earth, spinning around the sun…It is movement. Life is movement.

I was hired at the software start-up, not because I know anything about technology or coding, but because I see movement. Dynamic whole systems. In my brief foray into the start-up, I learned that, in order to be successful, software has no end. It is never finished. It must constantly iterate. It must never assume a completion. It is, in that way, like a human being, constantly becoming, cycling through periods of stability and periods of chaos, through lostness and found-ness, each generation supporting the cycle of the next generation.

We confuse ourselves by seeking an answer to our end, as if the design is finished. As if we are complete. That is a statement of our denial. We are movement. Relationship. Cycle. Never complete.

She knelt to take a photograph of the daisies, each at various points in their life cycle. A perfect visual for the single question-with-no-answer at the core of our short season on earth:

“…how to harmonize our cosmic smallness with the immensity of our creaturely experience…” ~ N.J. Berrill

read Kerri’s blogpost about DAISIES

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Prepare For The Freeze [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab]

In our home there is no task so daunting as the cleaning-out of her closet. We’ve had several near-attempts. Occasionally, small dents have been made to the outer layer. But, in the end, all forward progress shuts down. This mountain is too formidable to climb. With the closet door open she stands staring in; frozen.

I understand. It’s not simply clothes to be tossed. It’s memories. Associations. The archeology of a lifetime. For my story-thready wife, taking her old clothes to the Goodwill is like tossing her memories into an abyss.

I’ve suggested leaving it alone and building another closet to make badly needed new space for the present-and-future clothes. My suggestion always inspires THAT look. So, I’ve learned to keep silent. Hold my tongue. I’ve learned the art of the silent head-nod.

Now I know, on those dubious occasions she declares, “This is the day…” my job is to prepare for the emotional-lock-up, the mental freeze. The inevitable zombie-stare of defeat. I fluff extra pillows for her favorite chair. I position the hassock so I can rub her feet. I open a bottle of wine.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE CLOSET

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Epicenters of Mattering [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

If you asked me why we write I would tell you that it is because of Lydia. After reading my post Arrive, she must have sensed my low spirits and took the time to comment: Perhaps you have already arrived. Breathe. Feel the awe. In every moment. It is because of Alex who reads what I write everyday and bothers to let me know. Buffalo Bob. A simple like, telling me, “I am out here and what you write matters to me.”

Writing is a relationship like painting is a relationship like music is a relationship. It’s a dynamic feedback loop. A younger me would have told you that the impulse to create is internal; the current version of me wonders if there really is any such separation as internal and external. There is no actor without an audience, no writer without a reader. It’s a matter of mattering. To each other. Ultimately, the artist imperative is to share. It is hard to explain. Ours is essential. It is urgent. It is undeniable. It is an inner necessity – a word that I do not use lightly. To deny it would be to die – a statement that I do not offer lightly. Yet, without an audience, a reader, there would be no point.

We recently asked Rob his thoughts about how to get our words beyond our bubble. We love our bubble, our community of dedicated readers and listeners. However, the changes in the world of arts-as-a-business have made the work we were once paid for free for all takers. Although technology brings our words and music and art to audiences all over the world, it has also left us financially insecure. It’s an oddly mixed message of mattering. So many listeners and readers, so few pennies. Rob and others have been knocking on our noggins to open a Patreon membership. It’s taken awhile for us to embrace the realities of this brave new world.

Networks and relationships. Worth. Value. Mattering. Each of us an epicenter with lines of connection running in all directions. Sharing. Giving. Asking. So very appreciative of a “thumbs up,” so deeply moved when our words come back at us with a loving reminder to Feel the Awe. Breathe.

read Kerri’s blogpost about NETWORKS

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Beyond Words [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

“Truth, like time itself, is a product of a conversation man has with himself about and through the techniques of communication he has invented.” ~ Neil Postman, Amusing Ourselves To Death

I’ve felt for months the need to apologize to J. We were having a conversation about truth – and notions of god – and in his current place-on-the-path he’s necessarily seeking absolutes. For him, relative truth smacks of falsehood or some loosey-goosey scary philosophy. He’s looking for a hard rock on which to build his house of wisdom. I was flip rather than helpful. How do you begin to discuss truth as a cultural orientation or a fluid marker that changes with time? When I was J’s age, truth could be established with a photograph. Not so anymore.

Breck, our little quaking aspen tree has come to represent a form of truth for me. Breck almost didn’t make it. We brought her home from the high mountains of Colorado and for a few years she lived and struggled in a big pot. She barely survived the first place we planted her. It was not a good location so we moved her to different soil where she’d enjoy more sun. And now she is flourishing. Last year she grew more than three feet taller.

Breck’s truth/health has very little to do with hard answers to abstract questions. For her – and me – truth is found in relationships; her environment. The right spot. Good soil. Rejuvenating sun. She brings an impulse to life: perseverance. Tenacity. Adaptability. We love her and I believe she “knows” that, too. Love is a truth that knows no absolute. I couldn’t explain that to J because I was playing with him, bringing levity to his seriousness.

And, in truth (what other word can I use?), I have become a doubter that any serious conversation about truth or gods can happen through something so limited as language. That’s what I should have expressed to J. I should have taken him outside to see the stars.

Now, when I want to have those conversations with myself, when I am seeking a better question, I walk on the trail next to the river. I turn my face to the sun. I try to detach myself from the clocks and lists and tv debates. I look at Breck quaking in the wind. I await each spring for the buds to appear on her limbs. There’s truth-beyond-words in her life-cycle, the return of her leaves and her captivating shimmer dance with the breezes.

read Kerri’s blogpost about BRECK

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Language Blossoms [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

I just experienced something new: a visual route to a find synonym. That might not seem like a big deal but for a visual-guy like me it fundamentally changes my relationship with language.

I wanted another word for “shine” and, instead of finding a static linear list, a blossom of interconnectivity unfolded on my screen. Shine in the center, five interconnected primary synonyms, with each of the five subsequently sprouting five fingers of word possibility. I was gobsmacked. Like a child with a new toy, I clicked back into the site again and again so I might see the word bloom.

I’ve directed (and loved) many of Shakespeare’s plays. I am an avid reader. I write everyday and spend more time than I care to admit chasing down words. Yet, had you met me when I was a wee-lad of 22, none of these things would have seemed possible. It hurt to read. The worst hell imaginable for me was diagraming sentences. My knuckles were rapped by stern-faced English teachers more than once for poor use of language, rotten sentence construction. And, although I had an undeniable enthusiasm for the theatre, I literally hated reading plays when I was in high school.

Linear sequential is not my friend.

One day in my 24th year an actor introduced me to Shakespeare. Active language. Delicious sounds and living images. The penny dropped. The world opened. I have been a voracious eater-of-language ever since. When rehearsing, I dance my words.

Words matter. They are alive when not forced to toe-the-line. Symbol and sound, makers of meaning, each intimately connected to the other. When I come back to this earth I will hopefully be a poet, attempting to capture in language that which is impossible to articulate. The beauty of a pink tulip. A flower selected by a mother for a rare visit from her daughter. Our daughter. Our daughter: a surprising and remarkable combination of words I never thought I’d utter.

Language unfolds and reaches deep into pools of meaning. Words blossom. And nothing is ever the same.

read Kerri’s blogpost about PINK TULIPS

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Expect The Burst [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab.]

It’s alright. I know she will inevitably burst and I’ll be covered head-to-toe in her thoughts and opinions.

She’s the same way with gifts. She can’t buy presents ahead of time because she gets too excited to give them. Overwhelmed with gift-giving-anticipation, she bursts.

She’s the same way with ideas. There’s too little space in her heart and mind to contain so many burgeoning ideas. She bursts several times a week. It’s why she’s a pile-organizer. Her good ideas stack up because they have no where else to go.

What’s not to love?

read Kerri’s blogpost about BURSTING

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