Live To See Another Day [Davids blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Kerri and I do almost everything together which is ideal until we go to the department store to buy new bras. For me, it is a perilous undertaking. The ladies sneer at me the moment I step foot into the bra department. It is no-mans land. It is the place women go to escape the dude-o-sphere and deal with the baseline realities of womanhood. I’ve learned that, in this clear and present danger-zone, I have only two paths for survival: 1) try to disappear. On the surface, disappearing seems like a wise option since the aggression from other bra-shoppers is palpable and violence is a real possibility. However, I’ve learned from experience that I could become the invisible man, a tiny mouse, and they’d still know my exact location, they track my every step. The danger does not disappear even if I do.

The better option is #2: become the efficient executive assistant to my bra-shopping wife. Survival means keeping her organized through a very difficult and complex series of decisions, refiling the rejects, pulling options for consideration, bolstering her courage when she is overwhelmed, reinforcing her ideals of beauty when she launches into inevitable self-denigration. Slowly, I become the secret envy of every woman in the department. I know that beneath their disdain, they are wishing they, too, had a helpful witness to their travails, an executive assistant to make their task a wee-bit easier. I am careful to be all business and not to become cheerful. No matter how helpful, cheerful men in the bra department is a step-too-far.

I know I am safe when, after several minutes of following along, holding an armful of possible options, I say, “What about the Bali?” to which Kerri, knowing the danger I am in, replies, “No. I like the Warners.” And I say, “Right, Bali can be too fancy-schmancy.” For a brief moment the frowning mouths twitch into smiles and I know I will live to see another day.

To cement my survival I purposefully pick up the wrong bra and suggest, “What about this one?” Kerri takes the briefest of glances and says, “No. No underwire, remember?”

“Right!” I declare and add, “I always forget about the dangers of the underwire. I mean, who would think that was a good idea! Bras must be designed by men!” The angry shoppers look away to hide their amusement. I say to myself, but loud enough to be heard, “No underwire. Stay away from fancy-schmancy. Got it!”

read Kerri’s blog post about FANCY-SCHMANCY

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Embrace The List [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

The rain was a visitor that stayed too long. In the evening we walked to the lake shore to wave goodbye and to make sure it was really going this time.

Earlier, when the rains came, we built a channel of towels to guide the river in the basement toward the drain. It’s protocol. The towels were stationed in their basket, freshly washed after their last call of duty. The fans were also ready for quick deployment. I was amused at our automatic response to the downpour. No words needed to be exchanged. We knew what had to be done.

A raccoon pulled back the roofing material on the sunroom roof and ate the tar. At least I think it was tar. It did not look appetizing to me but I am not a raccoon or an expert on raccoon dietary choices. I admit that a tar snack surprised me so I’m adding it to the ever-growing list of things-I-do-not-know. I did, however, know the storm was coming so we clamped the loose sheeting back in place. We need a sunny day or two and a YouTube lesson to make a full temporary repair. Our quick fix mostly worked. Mostly.

We live in an old house. In a few years we will celebrate its 100th birthday. When I first moved in I thought I should try and make everything perfect. I’d never owned a house before. Kerri was patient with my efforts-at-impossibility and finally convinced me to relax. “There’s always a list,” she said.

It turns out that it’s a great life philosophy, too. Relax. There’s always a list. Do what you can do when you can do it. It doesn’t hurt to have the towels and the fans ready. And, a few clamps and a few boards. They just might keep the rain out of the sunroom or the raccoon at bay. And then, enjoy the rain. Above all, remember to expect a sunny day.

Nap With Dog-Dog & BabyCat, 36″x48″ mixed media

read Kerri’s blog about RAIN

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Done! [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

I am losing the recall of words and names. It happens. I threatened to take a brain booster and the notion sent us into gales of laughter because, we concluded, I am a more likable person with a less-sharp brain. I will do better in the world now that the edges are rounding. It is best to walk into the future without the booster and a few less facts-at-my-fingertips.

I confess that with my diminished capacity I have experienced greater contentment. Knowledge was armor and with less access to weaponry I’m having to exercise a different set of skills: keeping my mouth closed, listening, not-knowing…the things I’ve pursued my entire life but am now able to achieve because I have to practice them. Life is funny.

I’m splashing paint. I have a plethora of old canvas and odd shaped boards. Simultaneous to my new less-than-sharp brain, when in the studio, I’m experiencing the deep desire not to think about anything. To paint with no other purpose than to see what happens. Experiment. Art as life in the laboratory. Twice in the last week Kerri has come into the studio to see what I’m working on and said, “I like this one.” When I ask her what she sees, she squints her eyes, approaches the easel, and flips the painting over. Up is down and down is up. It is my clue that the painting is nearly complete.

“What would you call this?” It is always my second question: Without hesitation she gives it a name. I marvel at what she identifies in the splashes. I call the painting, “Done!”

Inevitably on the trail, she “Ooooohs” and kneels to capture the tiniest of blossoms. It is the time of year that nature gives her too much to photograph. We stop every few feet. And, although she has told me several times the names of each flower, the names never stick. That is not new. When I was auditioning actors I asked them to wear the same clothes during callbacks since I’d better remember their work by what they wore, not by their names. Visual memory. For me, the tiny blossoms are like actors. I recognize them without their names getting in the way of my appreciation.

Perhaps my recent word-recall-struggles are merely a matter of me becoming more of who I have always been? I’d pose the question to Kerri but she’d squint her eyes, flip me on my head and tell me that I was “Done!” Make no mistake, I’d be very careful NOT to ask her my second question! I do not want to know what title she’d affix to me, especially flipped over, with all the blood finding its way back to my brain.

After The Storm

read Kerri’s blogpost about TINY FLOWERS

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Our Predicament [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

I’m not sure what you do for fun but lately I have a habit of Googling idioms. It’s a recent obsession since the advent of AI. It’s not the quick definition that tickles my fancy or the various context and meanings that AI provides. It’s that there is sometimes a bonus “What to do about it” section that I adore. And, why, exactly, do I love it so? It’s sanitized and, when read aloud, sounds like a transcript from a therapy session with an engineer. It’s the voice, the flat-character that sparks my imagination. For me, AI has a soma. It has a face, a voice, and desires a sense of humor.

Consider the idiom “hitting a brick wall”. AI adjusts his position on the couch and pronounces, “Stuckness.” I am visibly unimpressed. He continues, “Encountering an immovable object.” He clears his throat and attempts a smile but becomes self-conscious when I return a poker face. ” It might refer to mental exhaustion,” he adds to cover his discomfort. “It might be a creative-tank gone empty. No energy.” I nod, noncommittal. He asserts, “Writer’s block and hitting a brick wall are one and the same thing.” Again, I am unresponsive. My AI engineer-turned-therapist coughs and suggests that likely solutions would include taking a break or simply accepting my predicament. He adjusts his glasses and encourages me to reflect on how I got stuck in the first place so I might identify and remove the trigger. I squint. He is visibly uncomfortable, so he pulls one more platitude from his memory bank: “Seek a trusted colleague or a neutral party who can help you identify a solution that you cannot see.” He is visibly sweating-in-monotone.

“That’s why I’m here,” I say. “You seem to be a neutral party. But, can I trust you?” I ask. “That’s my question. Are you a truly a reliable colleague?”

My engineer-turned-therapist stares at me, unsure how to respond.

“It seems you’ve hit a brick wall,” I suggest. “Perhaps we should take a break and reflect on our predicament or simply accept our situation.”

read Kerri’s blogpost about BRICK WALLS

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Low Cost Hilarity[David’s blog on Not So Thawed Wednesday]

“The fear of appearances is the first symptom of impotence.” ~ Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment

“Never pay for car repairs again!” the spokesperson beamed. “Coverage is available on all vehicles less than 20 years old! Call now!”

“That leaves us out,” she said. “None of our vehicles is less than 20 years old.” Recently, she calculated that the combined age of our cars this year is exactly 100 years. We might not qualify for coverage but you may have noticed that we’re constantly whooping it up these days; our combined-car-centennial is reason to celebrate so we’re having 365 days of raucous festivities.

Craig once told us that LBS had “Milwaukee rims”. The faux chrome has long since peeled off and LBS now sports a mostly rusty-rim-look. “Are you staring at my car?” Kerri asked the young attendant at the recycle center who was clearly horrified with our rims. The poor guy sputtered. “We love our rims!” she smiled, putting LBS in gear and driving away.

In the late fall, when the sun sets early, if we time it just right, on the drive home from our trail, LBS casts a remarkable shadow on the road ahead: our silhouettes seated in a toaster-shape that seems to have enormous ears. Kerri always enthusiastically slaps my shoulder, “Can you see it? Can you see it?”

When I moved to the midwest I was amused by the ritual of the windshield wiper. When the storm is a’ brewin’ people run outside and stand-upright their windshield wipers. I learned the hard way that windshield wipers in the midwest, unlike windshield wipers in Colorado where I am from, freeze to the windshield. Now I have joined the custom. If you’re looking for me I have probably raced outside to spare the wipers from imminent freeze-ation. When LBS is covered with snow, the upright wipers make it look like a bug with cute antenna.

Milwaukee rims. Funny shadows. Winter bug cosplay. We might not have high priced insurance to protect against repairs, but we’ve mastered low cost hilarity and loyal love of our LBS, Big Red, and the ’71 Beetle nestled into the garage that will someday ride again.

read Kerri’s blogpost about UPRIGHT WIPERS

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Walk Lightly [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

I believe Dr. Seuss found inspiration in teasel thistles. How could he not! They are quirky, whimsical and overflowing with personality. They populate our trail like a fanciful reception line of fantastic beings.

I imagine that they freeze as we approach, pretending to be plants. After we pass by they relax and talk about how weird human-bipeds are. From their vantage point we must seem droll. I agree with the teasels: from my vantage point, human beings seem zany. I wish they’d include me in their conversation.

Kerri thinks that some look like playful layer cakes. The others are like characters from the Despicable Me movies – only fastened to a stem. In any case, they radiate mischief.

Sometimes Kerri and I talk when we walk our trail. Sometimes we are quiet, listening to the birds or our thoughts. When listening to my thoughts I try to remember a universal truism that I most appreciated when stated this way: what you think is the mother lode of comedy. Don Miguel Ruiz wrote as his 5th Agreement: “Doubt everything you think.” I am guilty of taking myself too seriously. I could use a dose of doubt.

I keep on my desktop a piece of advice by Aldous Huxley: “It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly…”

I imagine that Aldous Huxley and Dr. Seuss are hidden among the mischievous teasels and whisper to us as we pass by: “There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly…”

Looking for Light (sketch), tissue, charcoal and medium on board

read Kerri’s blogpost about TEASELS

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Bolt! [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

“The caterpillar ate the dill,” she said. I laughed. It sounded like the first line in a children’s book. “No matter,” she said as she watched the caterpillar munching, “With all this rain and heat the dill has already bolted.” I raised my eyebrows. Not being up on my garden lingo, “the dill bolted” also sounded like the first line in a children’s book: the dill sprinted from the garden bench!

I thought but did not say: “I’d bolt from the room, too, if I discovered a caterpillar was gnawing on me.” Kerri puts up with enough of my random-mind-wander as it is. I’ve learned to keep some of it to myself.

Though, in my silence, I wished I’d had a pencil and paper to jot down the ideas but my hands were covered in mud. With the recent heat and rain, the weeds were eating the yard (I know! I know! Another great first line for a children’s book!) and I was waging a fruitless campaign to hold back the onslaught. No matter. Ideas come and go. I’ve let plenty of good ideas – and bad ones, too – slip by unrecorded. My muddy hands probably saved me from myself.

It’s worth mentioning that one of the many definitions of “bolt” is to “eat quickly.” To gobble or gulp. Watching the caterpillar eat I think it’s fair to suggest that it was bolting. Essentially the caterpillar and the dill both bolted and neither of them left the yard. It was a reminder to never assume to understand a single word someone else utters. Kerri might have meant that the dill was gulping rather than what I presupposed, that the dill was now dormant. I confess to looking up from my weeding to make sure that the dill was still in the pot and that the pot was on the bench.

Someday soon the bolting caterpillar will possibly fly through the yard as a Black Swallowtail butterfly. It quite literally will have bolted from one way of being into another way of being. Do not assume that you know what I mean. After all, I used the word “bolt” with clear intent to scramble the possibilities.

On the day we see the butterfly I will say to Kerri, “Hey! Look at what your dill produced!” She will give me “that” look and I will, of course, have no alternative but to make-like-dill and bolt.

read Kerri’s blogpost about CATERPILLARS

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Lift [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

An Ode To Lift.

To raise or hoist. To heave or haul.

Dissipating fog, cloud dissolve.

Upward force, curved surface of a wing.

Pump up the volume, make eardrums ring.

Buoy the spirits, sing the reprise.

Pick a pocket; go ahead, plagiarize!

Boost the revenue, Jack-up the price.

End the embargo, melt political ice.

Stop. A thumb’s out, give it a ride.

Encouragement, boost, stimulus, pride.

“Which floor?” Push the button. Soon you’ll arrive.

***

“Lift” is one of those words. A noun and a verb. Four letters, when combined, result in many more than four definitions, some completely contradictory. Lift a spirit/Lift a wallet.

Somewhere in time, it occurred to a human mind that flight did not necessarily include flapping but the opposite. Lift. In my imagination the Wright Brothers flapped their arms in excitement when their theory took flight. Lift: the upward force that allows an aircraft to stay airborne. “The curved upper surface of a wing causes air to flow faster over the top than the bottom, resulting in lower pressure above the wing and higher pressure below, generating lift. According to Bernoulli’s principle.”

I nearly flunked physics in high school so don’t ask me to expound or explain. In fact, I try not to think about lift when I board an airplane. It’s enough to know that I am willingly entering a tube that will hurtle through space while a kind person offers me coffee and snacks from a rolling cart. I flap my arms in excitement every time the plane safely lands.

Each and every time, sitting very still, buckled into my seat, I close my eyes during the moment of lift.

And really, it all boils down to this: “People who are truly strong lift others up. People who are truly powerful bring others together.” ~ Michelle Obama

read Kerri’s blogpost about FLIGHT

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Meet Guttah [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

Meet Guttah. He is no ordinary snowman. He is made from snow scooped off of the roof.

A snow-rake and a wobbly ladder were necessary to acquire the makings of Guttah.

I did not climb a ladder on a bitter cold day with a snow-rake in hand in order to make Guttah. Had Guttah been on my mind, had Guttah been the original mission, I would have used the snow on the ground. There was – and is still – plenty of snowman fodder in the backyard. No. The conditions were perfect for ice-damming. A wet snow followed by a sunny day. And then a freeze. We jumped into prevention-mode since historically an ice dam on the roof is capable of channeling water into our house. “Is that a waterfall…on the wall?” I asked the first time I experienced it.

“Damn it!” Kerri exclaimed, jumping into action.

You might say that Guttah is a side-effect of ice-dam-prevention. With plenty of snow on the roof, standing on the icy rungs of an old wooden ladder, with every pull of my snow-rake cascading snow and ice onto the deck far below, rather than think, “I could die,” I chose to ask a question of distraction: “What will I do with all of this snow piling up on the deck?”

Like much of the art created across time, Guttah was borne as a distraction from death-fear. Not that I consider Guttah art (he certainly does not view himself with such hubris) but thoughts of a snowman sculpture kept me scooping and gave me the necessary focus to stay safely perched upon my shaky rung.

My favorite part is his hair. It is how I imagined my hair under my hat while scooping snow from the roof. Guttah, after all, is my doppelganger, my double-walker, the outer-snow-image of my inner-snow-scooping-self.

latest detail of a painting-in-progress

read Kerri’s blogpost about GUTTAH

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Still Standing [David’s blog on KS Friday]

Yesterday our walk in the fog and wet took us by the x-mas tree recycle drop-off. The morning after Christmas and a tree was already stripped of lights and baubles and dumped in the lot. On to the next, I suppose.

No matter how I spin it, the story of the tree-in-the-lot is not happy. Used and discarded. Maybe there was an argument. Maybe this lonely tree was in the home of a lonely person and it was just too hard…

There is a post-holiday return-to-reality akin to returning home after a vacation get-away but it seems a bit too soon for that. We have yet to ring in the new year and I want to stay in the escape-from-reality-zone as long as possible. I want to store-up some positive vibes for the certain chaos and sanity-drought that lies dead ahead.

This morning I woke up exhausted. The fog is still with us so I’m not harboring any hope of a spirit-lift from the sun. I found it impossible to focus so while Kerri was on a call I crawled under a blanket on the couch and appreciated all the beauty we created in our home these past few weeks. A visitor on the Eve said our house was warm. It is. It warms. I’m not sure my appreciation tour gave me a lift – I’m still exhausted – but it definitely pointed me in the right direction.

While enjoying our decorations and lights I thought of that lonely tree dumped in the lot. I wondered if the person or the family that so quickly discarded their celebration also consciously – or unconsciously – discarded the very thing that might boost their spirit. I suspect we are all at one time or another guilty of sabotaging our peace, undermining our joy. As a nation we just successfully chucked out the baby with the bathwater, proof-positive that anything is possible – individually and en masse.

A rush of idioms just poured into my brain-pan but I will spare you – and me – the disruption. In the meantime, like us, I hope your tree is still standing and you are still standing in your house that warms spirits.

Each New Day on the album Right Now © 2010 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about a HOLIDAY LIFT

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