Give Time [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

“Nobody sees a flower – really – it is so small it takes time – we haven’t time – and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time.” ~ Georgia O’Keeffe

I am fortunate. I have good friends. Really good friends. We give our time to each other. We’ve given each other our time for a very long time.

Time is not something marked by a clock. It is a decision. It is attention given with intention. Giving time is not as sterile as it sounds. It is not bookkeeping. It is generous.

At the end of the day, attention is all I have to give.

At the end of each day I give some time and attention to gratitude. I review my day. I give attention to what I gave my attention during the day. Kerri and Dogga are always in my review. My friends. This house that keeps us safe and warm. The list spirals out from that constant center. The orange day lilies that brought a smile. The sunrise. The slow evening walk that we enjoyed. The enormous hibiscus that stopped us in our tracks.

It is an important question to ask at the end of each day, “To whom or what did I give my attention?” I wish I would have asked this question of myself earlier in my life. I would have seen many more flowers. I would have been a better friend. I would have spent less of my limited time on earth giving attention to abstract futures or nonsense achievements.

No matter. I cannot go back in time. And that is precisely the point. I have attention to give and rather than look in the rearview mirror, how much more satisfying is it to give it to this moment, to today, the first sip of coffee in the morning, the clicking sound of Kerri’s keyboard as we perform our morning ritual, writing posts together, about the marvels that we experience, like an enormous hibiscus that caught our attention and shared with us a little bit of its time.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE HIBISCUS

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Look Close In [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

Like me, do you sometimes have trouble believing in the wonder of the ripening tomato? Incredible! Look close in and you might see what I mean. Where did that come from? Only a moment ago it was a tiny yellow flower on a vine.

There is a particular squirrel in our neighborhood who’s discovered the wonder of the tomatoes. His attraction to the tiny fruit né vegetable has made him a tomato robber. He cannot help himself – that is the nature of desire. He asks the same question as I do – only his version is more an exclamation: where did this come from! Delicious. On that, the squirrel and I agree.

A burst of tomato; taste the sun.

I wonder if the small tomato asks the same question of itself that the squirrel and I ask? “Where did I come from?” It’s an excellent question.

“I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.” ~John O’Donohue.

John O’Donohue also wrote that, to the Celtic mind, “…there is no satisfaction in certainty.” Asking the question is more tasty than having an answer. And, some questions, the most important questions, have no single answer.

The path to wonder runs through disbelief and uncertainty. Curiosity, living in the questions, opens the mind and heart to possibility, to wonder, to beckoning imagination. The impossibly rich unknown. Isn’t it infinitely preferable and wildly more rewarding to stand in a question rather than hold tight onto a white-knuckled certainty.

Looking for wonder? Begin by looking close in.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE TOMATO

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Give It A Chance [David’s blog on KS Friday]

We generally keep a few sweet potatoes in the basket so we have the necessary ingredients for a spontaneous batch of our fave sweet potato black bean chili. Last summer one of our sweet potatoes sprouted so rather than toss it we planted it. The resulting vine was gorgeous and threatened to wrap the deck. We loved it so much that this summer we purposefully let one of the sweet potatoes send out alien tendrils. “It’s ready!” we exclaimed and then we dashed outside and planted it.

Someday we will start earlier in the season, planting a sweet potato or two so that we might grow sweet potatoes. There isn’t enough time between now and snowfall for a harvest. This year, like last year, the effort is purely aesthetic. It gives us yet another reason to rush outside in the morning and exclaim, “Lookit!” It is an intentional spirit-lift.

More so than any other time in my life I am aware of how responsible I am for the care and tending of my own spirit uplift. We planted the sweet potato with the express purpose of giving ourselves a reason to marvel. The more I claim my capacity to cultivate joy, the more opportunities I see. The opportunities are never grand. They are, in fact, the formerly mundane, the easily missed. We grow rosemary so we can crush the leaves between our fingers, for the pure delight of the scent. I tend the birdbath for the giggle it gives me when I spy a robin or sparrow splashing around, a kiddie in a kiddie pool. We literally take time to smell the coffee; every day.

For us, the road to fulfillment does not run through a palace or a yacht – a thing. It is the taste of mint-from-the-garden and lemon slices in the sun tea, a warm baguette and sip of wine, the orange line of day lilies, a long slow walk at sunset. Paying attention. Understanding that no day is ever the same, no moment is ever unremarkable. A sprouted sweet potato can be a source of happiness, if only we give it a chance.

THAT MORNING SOMEDAY on the album BLUEPRINT FOR MY SOUL ©️ 1997 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s music (think of the riches in that phrase for a moment) is available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about SWEET POTATO

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Be In It [David’s blog on KS Friday]

It is tempting in times like these to just-try-and-get-through-it. I daily remind myself to not throw away my limited time on this earth. Rather than just-get-through I want to be fully-in-it.

No matter what devastation, what havoc and chaos the current administration wreaks on the nation, the ugliness of ICE, the incessant assault on our rights, the sunrise is not to be missed. Dogga wakes us each morning at first light. We hear his gentle clackity-clack, paws on the hardwood floor when he is awake and ready for his old-dog breakfast.

The smell of coffee brewing. The sun on my face. The taste of a tomato plucked from our vine. Fresh cut basil leaves. An evening walk through the marina. A day that I will never ever live again. I do not want to get through it. I want to immerse in it, all of it.

I want to feel enraged at the corruption and abuse. I want to feel shocked at the hypocrisy. I do not want to delude myself that it cannot touch me. Other people’s pain.

I want to fully appreciate the person who reached the top shelf in the grocery store for the elderly woman in the scooter. I want to savor the music in the park and my community that gathers to enjoy it. The extraordinary in the ordinary. The message, a reminder, chalked on the path adjacent to a bench, “Sit down and enjoy the view.” Don’t fall into the trap of just getting through. Sit down. Feel the cool breeze coming off the lake. Allow yourself to marvel at the color of the sails glowing orange and pink in the sunset.

THE WAY HOME on the album THIS PART OF THE JOURNEY ©️ 1998 Kerri Sherwood

Find Kerri’s albums here or streaming here

read Kerri’s blogpost about ENJOYING THE VIEW

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Close-In [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

I am not good at minutia. Too much detail makes my brain hurt and forces my synapses to stop all action. I experience it as static, fuzzy noise where thought should be. It’s why I nearly flunked physics in high school. It’s why writing grants – a necessary activity for freelance artists – was akin to a near-death experience. On the upside, I’ve developed an uncanny capacity to stare into space for freakishly long amounts of time. Synapse recovery on the inside, deer-in-the-headlights on the outside.

Kerri took me for a walk. I was staring into space and she has learned that movement expedites my return to the land of the living. I was updating software in an attempt to fix a bug in my computer system. It was akin to delicate brain surgery and I had to dive into the weeds to understand what to do. I was well on my way through the procedure when it happened: white noise where coherent thought once trod. “Let’s stroll,” she suggested. I managed a head nod. I may or may not have remembered my shoes.

I am learning to discern between minutia of information and the expansive beauty of the world close-in. In my life I have avoided taking a closer look, reveling in my view from “30,000 feet”. I claimed to be a global thinker, which was true, but was also self-protection against having to write yet another torturous grant or swimming through pages and pages of budget numbers. I am learning to see the universe in a peony petal. E.O. Wilson introduced me to the miracle of ants. Kerri teaches me to see close-in. “Lookit!” she says, her photo a raindrop on a leaf, the fibers of our fallen tree, tiny seeds bursting from a pod. The secret geometry revealed, the pattern in the chaos.

Often, looking close-in is just like gazing into the night sky, marveling at the infinite wonder of The Milky Way.

or…flipped sister pieces: Full Moon and Eclipse (2 panels, 36″x24″) mixed media

read Kerri’s blogpost about CLOSE-IN

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A Butterfly On A Pin [David’s blog on KS Friday]

When you say “green,” what exactly do you mean? Each morning I stand in my backyard and marvel at the symphony of greens. The licorice plant, the tomatoes, the sweet potato vine, the ferns, the grasses, the aspen leaves…each wear a unique shade of green. Each green changes with the light. The greens are different in the morning than they are at noon and wildly different during the pre-sunset golden hour. Well…they are not different but the light changes what I perceive. The change is in me.

The change is in me.

My first line of contact with the world is my senses. Everything I know is a product of everything I have experienced and my experiences begin with my eyes, ears, nose, skin and taste buds. And then I make sense of it or at least try to makes sense of it. I build stories like, “Each green changes with the light.” In other words, the greens change while I remain unchanged. I am the center. This is the exact opposite of what happens. It’s a trick of language. I story myself as normal (Kerri will laugh hysterically when she reads that assertion!). I story myself as “right” though I also have great capacity to story myself as worthless or stupid or wishing I had kept my mouth closed.

I story other people as good or bad – a harsh and narrow measurement to be sure.

In my current story I have discovered the depths of my intolerance. I can’t understand how farmers voted again for their own demise. Since we are all suffering the impact of their support of autocracy, I have little compassion for the loss of their farms. They voted for it.

I find my intolerance necessary. And sad. These farmers are suffering accountability for their actions – for their votes – while the people who showered them with false promises and drown them in propaganda are profiting from the farmer’s loss.

I am like all others: I seek and find people and information that bolster my point of view. It feels good to feel affirmed in what I believe. Yet, what I believe – my opinions – are meritless unless grounded in fact. I have worked hard in my life to question my point of view because I was taught, as an artist who could impact the lives of others, I had a responsibility to deal in truth.

Even in writing this mind-wander about the senses and perception, it all sounds schizophrenic: seek support for what you believe and then challenge it. It’s called learning. The senses open and expand, the mind narrows and refines. It is like the tides. Open to the experience, sift it for veracity. It is how we make sense from senses.

The farmers and red-hatted others who voted for fascism would have been well served to ask a few questions before they calcified their belief and cast ballots for their own destruction. The information was readily available. They simple needed to open their eyes and exercise their minds. They only needed to take a moment – for that is all it would have taken – to challenge the gaslight.

Do you see the current scrubbing of our history? The white-washing of our national sense-making, the assault on education and educators? It’s akin to reducing all greens to a single dull shade. Do you hear the fear of the question, the fear of being questioned? Are you aware of the publication of an enemies list? Those who are exercising their first amendment rights are being branded as hostile. Do you smell the corruption? The acrid burn of our constitution? Do you taste the bitterness at the gas pump, the bitter frustration at the grocery store? Are questioning?

There is sense to be made.

Of our nation and our fear of facing our history, James Baldwin wrote: “People who imagine that history flatters them (as it does, indeed, since they wrote it) are impaled on their history like a butterfly on a pin and become incapable of seeing or changing themselves, or the world.”

EVERY BREATH on the album AS IT IS © 2004 Kerri Sherwood

TAKING STOCK on the album RIGHT NOW © 2010 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blog post about GREENS

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Do The Opposite [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

I am not a Gnostic nor do I identify as Christian but I very much appreciate a bit of text from the Gospel of Thomas: The Kingdom of the Father is spread upon the earth, and men do not see it. I pulled it up on my magic computer to find what comment the AI master might offer: “…divinity is staring us right in the face in our daily lives, but our earthly preoccupations, illusions, and dogmas make us blind to it.” 

It is right in front of us. We do not see it.

When I was younger I learned to meditate. I was chasing presence. More than once I came to the hysterical realization that my chase was in fact doing the opposite of what I intended. Presence is not something that can be chased. Rather, it is experienced when stopping the chase. Stand still and breathe. Feel. See.

I recently had a conversation about connection and control. It brought me around again to what I learned in the folly of my chase. There are so many things I thought I could control – many that I didn’t know that I was trying to control – and my efforts to control brought me a mountain of frustration and nothing more. I found it an exercise in futility, a seemingly impossible task, to try and control my illusion of controlling. Just as presence cannot be chased, controlling cannot be controlled. One day, in a flash of no-duh, I understood that all I need do is the opposite: connect to the moment instead of trying to control it.

It was right in front of me all along. Control is born of fear. It is to erect a barrier, to contract. Connection is the opposite. It expands. It releases. How many times have I learned that the heaven I seek is available and visible if I simply stop, let go, or turn around and look? How many times have I learned that what I sought was right in front of me, patiently waiting for me to open my eyes.

read Kerri’s blogpost about HIDDEN IN PLAIN SIGHT

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A Growing Up [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

“The role of the artist is exactly the same as the role of the lover. If I love you, I have to make you conscious of the things you don’t see.” ~ James Baldwin

It’s always been dangerous to be a jester. It’s akin to working on electrical lines in the rain. Rarely does power like to be contradicted or hear the truth or be the target of a joke – but it is never-the-less the role of the comedian, the artist, to strip away the illusion. To tease forward the truth. Throughout time despots have tried in vain to silence the voice of the jester, the song of the composer, the vision of the painter. Hitler. Pol Pot. Stalin. Kim Jong Un. And now? Sadly, we have produced one of our own. Take heart: artists are servants of love while despots are prisoners of rage, and, in the end, love is always bigger than hate. It is possible for a period of time to silence the individual artist but the love of truth always transcends the volcano of hate. “Truth will out.” (William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice)

Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel will be making us laugh long after this rage has burned itself out.

A truth? Our nation, my nation, refuses to grow up. It turns its back on its history. It runs from its shadow. It is like the spouse of an alcoholic pretending that all is good. It is akin to a parent who abuses a teacher who dared give their child a well-deserved failing grade. Appearance is all.

Love is substance.

Proof of our Peter Pan nation lives in the White House. He has surrounded himself with a band of lost boy pirates. The despot-wanna-be is not an aberration, he and his pirates are the ultimate expression of entrenched immaturity. They are boys who swear the dog ate their homework, responsible for nothing, responsible to no one. They do not care to compete, earn or work for betterment yet desire every trophy for their shelf. They gild themselves like the ballroom. They celebrate the vapid and court superficiality. They somehow believe 19th century nonsense that whiteness makes the man. They build their clubhouse high in a tree and post a sign: No Gurls Aloud! Their skins are thin, their intentions self-serving.

It is why artists are such a threat. They see the childishness and make fun of the lost boys vapid antics.

In such an immature playpen, there is no love, there is no capacity for love: only a competition for toys. “Mine, mine, mine!”

“Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.” ~ James Baldwin

read Kerri’s blogpost about HEART LEAF

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Number Matters [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

I took a week off from political commentary and general ranting about the current kakistocracy and my stats took a dive. I derived two conclusions. First, studies ad nauseam show that complaining is much more attractive than satisfaction. If a human being has a bad experience at a Disney theme park they will tell at least 18 people. If they have a good experience they might tell 3. Blame is like candy. It’s the reason fox news is so successful: victimization (blame story) is yummy and a great organizing principle for a club or a cult. Blame is delicious and once eaten, people can’t stop talking about it. It’s a great abdicator-of-responsibility which is why it fits maga and the fox-mind like a glove.

Second, it is a marker of the current era that even the least among us – someone like me – has stats. I have blog stats and weekly screen time stats. The steps I take on planet earth are recorded, compared to previous steps and offered back to me as stats on my health. We moderns locate our successes and failures through numbers. If I felt it important to chase blog stats I’d find it necessary to rant on a daily basis. As Kerri can report, I need no encouragement in that department.

The numbers are useful but the challenge with reducing everything to a number is that it simplifies the complex, it sanitizes the unconscionable. We’ve read that 13 servicemen and women have been killed in the war with Iran. We know that at least 160 school girls were killed by a US bomb during the first days of the war. The number allows us to distance ourselves. Violent death reduced to a stat. I can be outraged at the number while not having to deal with the actual savage death of a school child, let alone a school full of children. Faces and names and hopes and dreams. I’ve been a teacher. What if the 160 students were mine? What if the soldier killed was my son or daughter? Would the number matter?

A number is easier to swallow. Blame is terrific hand sanitizer.

I have a friend who intentionally keeps herself close to the margins. She doesn’t want to sleepwalk through life. Chasing comfort too often cultivates complacency. She wants to be awake. It’s akin to taking a cold shower to wake up. It’s the reason that when we walk our trails I often leave my phone and my stats behind. Kerri draws my attention to the living things, the smallest of buds, the trout lily bowing its head. A field of trout lilies. It’s visceral and wakes me from the numbers. It opens my eyes and ears and heart to the beauty and the inevitable roll of seasons.

It reminds me not to become what I hate, not to reduce myself and others to a data point, not minimize my life to the numbers. It reminds me to create a rich conscious life, to stand in my experiences, eyes and heart wide open and not measure the worth of my days by the number of people who know about it.

read Kerri’s blogpost about TROUT LILIES

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It Follows [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

In our house it is possible to accidentally lock yourself into the bedroom. It is simple, really; there is an old doorknob on the outside of the door but the matching inner knob is missing. Close the door too hard and the door will latch just as the old knob falls. Instant bedroom prisoner. We used to keep a screwdriver in the bedroom for face-saving escapes but I looked for it after the last lock-in and couldn’t find it.

It is useful to keep in mind that our house is nearing its 100th birthday and is alive with the quirks and issues of age. I admit that we could fix the bedroom door problem but we see it less as a problem and more of a character trait. Besides, it gives the person on the outside the satisfying opportunity to play the role of rescuer. Note: the rescue always comes with the mixed message of a smirk and an admission. We’ve both been on the inside in surprise lock up.

We keep a knob on the kitchen shelf. It is placed near the antique coffee pots that serve as tea containers. The knob is beautiful so it serves as a decoration. Another glass knob sits in the hole next to the kitchen faucet that once was a soap dispenser. The dispenser was problematic so it was retired but that left a hole. One morning I found a knob plugging the hole and knew Kerri was trying it on as a solution. It catches the morning light and occasionally casts a rainbow on the backsplash. Kitchen performance art; it’s a keeper.

You might be asking why we use the extra knobs as decoration or as sink-hole-fillers instead of fixing the bedroom door – and it is a fair question. Neither knob works as a knob; the inner threading is stripped. They have no internal grip so have transcended mere function and live beautifully in form. You know the old saying: form follows function. Isn’t it glorious when the function of a form evolves finally to become beauty in the world? Or, maybe it is better to ask, isn’t it glorious when we evolve and see beyond mere function and at last are capable of seeing the beauty available in our lives?

read Kerri’s blogpost about KNOBS

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