Secret Things [David’s blog on KS Friday]

“I want to be with those who know secret things or else alone.” ~ Rainier Maria Rilke

Cardinals remind us of Kerri’s parents. A pair is nesting nearby and much to our delight they frequent our yard. The brilliant red male was splashing about in the birdbath; it took to flight the moment she snapped the photo. My associations of the image are spiritual.

One of my favorite paintings is a piece that very few people appreciate. I called it Canopy. It features a bird in flight. For me it is a spiritual painting. It is a painting of my desire to know secret things.

I love Leonardo da Vinci’s drawings of flying machines. Humans with wings. He would have looked at Kerri’s photo of the cardinal and asked, “How can I do that?” He didn’t just ponder it, he chased it.

Rilke wrote: “Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write.” Most of my life has been a journey into myself to find the reason that commands me to paint and write. Kerri and I often compare notes on the times in our lives that we nearly died when turning our backs on our artistry. We talk of “getting out of our own way” so the muse can come through. It feels like taking flight. It feels like escaping a cage.

“The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things.” ~ Rainier Maria Rilke

Too many people have attempted to solve my life by suggesting I make a career of painting pet portraits or people portraits. I’ve learned not to roll my eyes. It’s hard to explain. It’s not about the painting or the written word. It’s about the chase of something intangible, unattainable. Among other things, Leonardo chased the spirit of flight. Kerri and I chase secret things, impossible to grasp, things like the flight of spirit.

TAKE FLIGHT on the album THIS PART OF THE JOURNEY © 1998 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about FLIGHT

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It Takes Two [David’s blog on KS Friday]

If you visit my About page you will find this quote by Reynolds Price: A need to tell and hear stories is essential to us – second in necessity after nourishment and before love and shelter.” Although I have updated my blog site several times over the years, I’ve not found a quote that better encapsulates what I believe.

I’ve read this quote hundreds of times. And, to my utter surprise, I recently learned that I’ve never fully understood it. I thought it was about story.

It’s funny how a brain works. Standing on the dock, staring into the harbor at sunset, Kerri snapped and then shared her photograph of a single boat moored in the harbor. In the frame the boat is alone – an image of loneliness – the synapse that fired in my noggin was the quote, “A need to tell and hear stories…”. A need to share. A need to be connected. A need to be a part of. Essential to us. Necessary. Story is what we share. The indispensable is that we connect through story; we create it together. The quote is about relationship.

Relationship, the need to tell and hear stories, need not be positive. For instance, we are witness to a propaganda machine that intentionally spins a tale to divide the nation. A hungry maga gobbles and regurgitates it. Make no mistake, maga needs woke because without an enemy, without something to fight, maga would have no identity. The straw man called “woke” is maga’s story glue; woke is the monster hiding under maga’s bed. Woke is a windmill erected so maga might have a reason to tilt.

A negative story can transform. It is the reason we came to be standing on the dock at sunset. A lifetime of running led to the necessity of stopping. Turning around meant facing the monster. Facing the monster meant returning to the dock. What was once lonely and broken became reconnected and whole. When faced, the monster shriveled to nothing. A destructive story is not destructive after all but a chapter in an inevitable march to well-being. That should give all of us hope. That is a worthy story to share.

It takes two at the very least to tell and to hear stories. It is essential.

THE WAY HOME on the album THIS PART OF THE JOURNEY © 1998 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s music – at least the compositions that she has recorded – is available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora. The vast majority of her music lives in her heart and in a notebook that rests on her piano.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE HARBOR

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Squirrel Lore [David’s blog on KS Friday]

My dad had a special relationship with squirrels though I doubt he thought of his squirrel-connection as special. He kept a BB gun at the ready to keep the little varmints from eating the peaches from his tree. He never aimed to hit them. He’d shoot the leaves close by to scare them. Once, when his eyesight was failing, he accidentally hit a squirrel. “Did I hit him?” he asked me, horrified. The squirrel was stung but otherwise uninjured. My dad was wounded to his core. “I didn’t mean to hit him,” he repeated, misty eyed throughout the evening. I am not certain but I think that was the last time he touched his BB gun.

Our yard is alive with squirrels. Dogga chases them. He gives them a quick bark as he skids to a stop while they scurry to the safety of the pine tree. And then he prances, triumphant in his mission of yard patrol. Later, we laugh as he lounges on the deck, uninterested in the yard-antics of the squirrels.

The squirrels have easily cracked the code of every bird-feeder-squirrel-protection-mechanism on the market. They are furry little ninjas stealing birdseed like their human counterparts heist diamonds. After years of gadgets and guards and placements – and serious thoughts about finding my dad’s leaf-ready BB gun – we’re in full surrender. We now scatter birdseed on the potting bench and on the top of Barney-the-piano. We invite the furry masses. The birds and squirrels dine peacefully together. They take turns. They are well fed.

When I refresh the scatter of seed I think of my dad. His squirrel campaign gave him a sense of purpose. Protecting the peach tree from the squirrels was a worthy-and-fun retirement mission. Without their constant assault on the peaches he would have been left with nothing more meaningful than cutting the grass (note: he edged the yard on his hands and knees with handheld clippers. My brother threatened to buy him an edger but he adamantly resisted. In analogy, my brother assumed the role of a squirrel, threatening my dad’s yard aesthetic routine).

I sometimes wonder if the squirrels watch us in utter fascination. We humans need challenges to feel useful. If we don’t have challenges we invent them; we call them hobbies. It’s the reason that “conflict” is the driver of every human story. A yearning meets an obstacle (Robert Olen Butler’s definition of “story”). Yearning needs obstacle like my dad needed squirrels. And now I have a special relationship with the squirrels: I do not try to deter them. I love watching them. I love Dogga’s daily game with them. They give him purpose. I love scattering seed for them. I love that they make me smile and remember the gentle man who was my father.

YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE © 2002 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s music is available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about SQUIRRELS

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Saddle Soap And Lavender [David’s blog on KS Friday]

Tom told stories of the phone his family had when he was a child. It was the kind with a crank. It required an operator, an actual person, to connect callers. It was a party line, meaning the single line was shared with multiple households. When I was a child, we were tethered to the phone by a cord. The phone was connected to the wall. It was possible to lift the extension – the other phone – and listen in. One line into the house with multiple phones sharing the line. And now we walk the world with our phones. They come with us everywhere we go. No sharing necessary. Considering how long it took humans to invent the wheel, the pace of change in our lifetime is breathtaking.

Tom also told me a story that is particularly poignant given our current state-of-the-union. When he was very young, an ancient woman would visit the ranch on Sundays. She had a driver and would remain in the back seat of her car. Tom’s mother would join her and they would chat for an hour. One Sunday the old woman opened the car door and asked Tom to join them. He was small and climbed onto her lap. She looked into his eyes and said, “I want to remember what I am about to tell you. When you are older it will matter. You are sitting in the lap of someone who sat in the lap of Abraham Lincoln.” She added, “He smelled of saddle soap and lavender.”

Skip a stone across time. My mentor told me a story about sitting in the lap of an woman who, as a child, sat in the lap of one of the most revered presidents in our history. I am merely three generations from that man and the republican party that he helped to create. A party formed to fight a war to end slavery, a party that believed in the promise of the Declaration of Independence, “dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.” Their corruption and collapse has been sickening.

Take a moment and read The Declaration of Independence. Pay particular note to the list of grievances against the king. They read like a current list of abuses by the wannabe authoritarian who now sits behind and soils the resolute desk. “A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people”.

The man who smelled of saddle soap and lavender would not tolerate this tyrant. He would not sit in the same room with the men and women, the descendants of his republican party, who currently soil the of government, “of the people, by the people, for the people”. They are enablers of the same racist rot in our nation that Abraham Lincoln gave his life to defeat.

It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us-that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion-that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain-that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom-and that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth.” ~ Abraham Lincoln, The Gettysburg Address

His words are not antiques. They are not out of style. They are as relevant today as the day he spoke them.

CONNECTED on the album RELEASED FROM THE HEART © 1995 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE PHONE

Tom and me a long time ago.

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Reach For Artemis [David’s blog on KS Friday]

“According to Kinderfeste tradition, a wish would come true if a child blew out all the candles in one breath – and kept the wish secret.” ~ Tricia Devets, Harry & David, The Table, January 2025 edition

I don’t know what she wished before she blew out her candle. I didn’t ask. Whatever her wish might be, I want it to come true.

I just learned that the tradition of the birthday candle reaches all the way back to the Greeks. “As a way to honor the birthday of Artemis, the goddess of the moon, the Greeks baked moon-shaped cakes and decorated them with candles to make them glow like the moon in the night sky…” Alysa Leven, Cake: A Slice of History

I wonder if her wish, like every child’s wish, reaches for Artemis? A birthday wish: a secret shared only with the goddess of the moon. Haven’t you wondered every year, as I have, who listens for birthday wishes, who has the power to grant secret birthday desires? Now I know: Artemis, goddess of the moon.

I wonder if Artemis, the wish-granter, stops granting wishes once the-wisher is no longer a child? Or, does the wish-granting stop because the-wisher no longer believes in secret wishes or Artemis? Perhaps they come to believe that Artemis has turned a deaf ear or give up on wishing?

In years-on-earth Kerri is not a child but she is most definitely a youth-full-spirit. We almost never go out but for this birthday we boldly sought a tapas treat. Knowing it was her birthday the staff surprised her and brought warm churros with chocolate dipping sauce on the side. Our server sang a bashful Happy Birthday and we laughed and applauded.

She is a believer. She closed her eyes and carefully selected her wish before she blew out the candle. Artemis was listening, I’m sure of it.

***

Here’s to the save travels of the astronauts on Artemis II. May they take their wishes to the goddess of the moon and return safely home.

LONGING on the album AS IT IS © 2004 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about a BIRTHDAY CANDLE

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Just Right [David’s blog on KS Friday]

Melange Wardrobe Fun Facts:

#1. We don’t consider our jeans broken-in until they have holes.

#2. On the day we met we both chose to wear non-holey jeans. We didn’t want to scare the other person away. Everything else, the boots, the blacks sweater…it was as if we called each other to coordinate.

#3. We were married in jeans that had holes. We were beyond the appearance phase of our relationship. The truth – our truth – has holes-in-the-knees. In fact, much of our wedding prep involved a world-wide search to find the perfect pair of new holey jeans. Holy jeans.

#4. For reasons I can’t explain, a hole always forms in the right knee of my brand new non-holey jeans. Always the right knee. Kerri, on the other hand, rarely achieves naturally holey jeans so she has to search for her truth. Mine always finds me.

#5. An anecdote: An elderly man in a maga hat stopped Kerri in the grocery store. “You must have a cat?” he sneered.

She was polite. “I used to have a cat,” she said, playing along. “How can you tell?”

“You need new pants,” he crowed his punchline. She acted like his joke was funny and the holes in her jeans were a complete surprise. The old man, feeling clever, repeated his joke to other shoppers. “Look at her pants! She must have a cat!”

#6. A common question in our house as we prepare to go out: “Do you think it’s okay to wear these?” A common answer to a common question: “Of course. Why not?” A common response to a common answer to a common question: “I guess I should wear what I want to wear.” I suppose there are holes in the fabric of acceptance that must always be considered.

We enact this ritual almost every day and always arrive at the same conclusion. The holes are in self-acceptance. Memories of Quinn always fill the holes for me. I hear his good laughter: “There are 6 billion people on the planet and you’re the only one who cares what you think.”

Now there are over 8 billion people on the planet and I am eternally grateful that there is one other person on this earth who cares what I feel and think and wear. This grand old universe knows how to coordinate.

And the shirt above the jeans with holes? A black thermal. Always. Oversized for her. Just right for me.

Just right for me.

***

Happy Birthday, my love!

on the album AS SURE AS THE SUN © 2002 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about HOLES IN JEANS

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After All, Capable [David’s blog on KS Friday]

Like many of the seemingly random pieces in our home, this wood garland carries a story. It is imbued with specific memories that invoke hope and belonging. This garland lifts our spirits.

A few nights ago, when sleep evaded me, having recently exhausted all of the hikers we follow, I stumbled upon someone new. I thought I was about to watch a documentary about a hiker’s journey on a long trail. Instead, I found the story of a man who perseveres. Twenty years ago he was diagnosed with an aggressive terminal cancer and given only a short time to live. His story is an unintentional wake-up call. He reminded me to check my attachments to the transitory.

Recognizing how uplifted I felt after watching the documentary was also a wake-up call, a lesson I learn again and again. I regularly fill myself up with the news of the day and it is, as you know, toxic. It’s like eating too much candy. There’s no spirit-nutritional-value and it always comes with a downer-crash. I decided I need a more balanced diet if I expected myself to be mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy.

During the power outage I revived a practice from my boyhood. I thought it would disappear after the lights and heat came back but I’ve continued it because it makes me feel good. I am drawing pictures from books. I sit at the little table beneath the hanging wood garland with my sketchbook and a large coffee table tome from The Metropolitan Museum of Art: Thirty Centuries of the Art of Mexico. Right now my sketches are pre-Columbian. Funerary figures and stone reliefs. It is not an accident that I sit beneath the garland. Occasionally I put down my pencils and examine the curious pieces of driftwood stacked and strung together. It reminds me, just as the art in the book, that people are dedicated to making beauty. People are dedicated to connecting to life-beyond-boundaries and they do it as they have always done it by carving figures imbued with magical powers meant to guard the passage of their loved ones through death – or by stringing together bits of driftwood found on a special beach.

People are more capable of invoking hope and belonging than hatred and division. We are not only capable, it is a necessity, an essential, like food and shelter. We can live without hatred but we cannot live without hope.

We are, after all, capable of supporting each other, of recognizing how impossible and precious are these few moments of life we share together. We are capable in dark times of standing in beauty and instilling hope, we are capable of simple-daily-generosity intended to lift each others’ spirits.

HOLDING ON/LETTING GO on the album RIGHT NOW © 2010 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE GARLAND

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Less Than Exceptional [David’s blog on KS Friday]

“I’d rather be a dog, and bay the moon, than such a Roman.” ~ William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar

It’s not that I don’t appreciate Senator Tom Tillis’ take down of DHS Secretary Kristi Noem. She certainly deserves all the derision that comes her way. I found his comments to be the height of irony, rebuking Noem for her poor leadership while he and the entire republican congress have been the poster-children for excessively subpar leadership. They have been silent, abdicating their duty and oath to uphold the Constitution, enabling the takedown of our democracy and running cover for the Epstein Class. Tillis only found his voice and his courage after he announced his retirement. It’s easy to feign indignation once you are out of the game. He, along with every member of his party, deserves the same humiliation.

This is the comment that rankled me: “We’re an exceptional nation. And one of the reasons we’re exceptional is we expect exceptional leadership.”

Where-oh-where is the exceptional leadership in the republican congress? Had Tom Tillis aimed his comments at himself and his republican peers while DOGE was wreaking havoc on our government or while his party was abdicating all responsibility for tariffs we might find his comment meaningful. I particularly find his expectation of exceptional leadership to ring hollow while the president and his party continue to provide cover for an international ring of pedophiles or go to war without congressional approval or profit billionaires at the expense of the poor or unleash a gestapo on our streets or undermine elections or…

The entire cabinet is less than exceptional. The AWOL republican members of congress are weak. Remarkably unexceptional. As a co-equal branch of government they have proven to be dismal.

We-the-people do, in fact, expect exceptional leadership and are dumbfounded by what we see. Waiting to speak your truth until you no longer have skin in the game is less than exceptional. It’s the opposite of leadership. It’s cowardice.

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt” ~ Mark Twain

FIGURE IT OUT on the album RIGHT NOW © 2010 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE MOON

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Come In Empty [David’s blog on KS Friday]

“In emptiness alone can there be creation.” ~ Krishnamurti

Horatio reminded me of a fundamental lesson in actor training: come in empty.

The great actor/director James Edmondson once told me that the art of acting is the art of presence. What is presence if not full availability, without need to achieve or to force action or to manipulate anything? Stand empty in a moment, open to all possibilities.

Saul the tai-chi master taught his students to look beyond the “obstacle” and place their eyes in the field of all possibilities. No resistance. No story. No need. More than once he said to me, “Let the energy move you.” Don’t fight. Don’t push. Relax. Empty.

We are cleaning out our home, emptying closets and shelves, and have more than once affirmed to each other that we are opening space to “allow the new to come in”.

Our candlelight walk through the woods was transformative. I stepped onto the path with a very busy, very distressed mind. As we walked my anxiety slipped away. The stars became more important than the thoughts raging in my mind. I quieted. We quieted. The woods came alive – or we – I – came alive in the woods. When I stepped onto the path I was tired. As we completed our second loop, leaving the path, I felt rejuvenated. Enlivened. Empty mind.

As we came around the corner of the Pringle Center on our way back to the car, a row of pine trees caught us. They were glowing. The light cast from the center combined with a crystal clear night made them shimmer. They beckoned. Kerri took their portrait saying, “Photographs can’t capture the light. They don’t do them justice.” She put away the camera and we stood for a moment agog at the glow, enthralled by what we’d passed-by merely an hour before, unnoticed.

Awe. Ever present and available when coming in empty.

HOPE on the album THIS SEASON © 1998 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE TREES

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Making and Unmaking [David’s blog on KS Friday]

Barney-the-backyard-piano is disintegrating. His shiny facade has long since faded and now peels away, revealing the underlying layers. Those, too, are fragmenting. The textures of a lifetime exposed and made beautiful in contrast. The story of his making fully revealed in his unmaking.

We spread birdseed on Barney’s lid so he plays host to the black-capped chickadees and cardinals. The squirrels sun themselves on his disintegrating keyboard. His keys are almost unrecognizable, a comment my grandmother once made about her hands. “Almost unrecognizable,” she said and laughed, holding her hands to the light. She marveled at her translucence.

On a rare day of warmth, we sat in front of Barney in black plastic Adirondack chairs soaking in the winter sun. Dogga circled the yard barking at the gusts of wind. “This will carry us a long way,” I said, feeling the warmth reach all the way to my bones. She nodded. There is certainly more winter to come.

I closed my eyes and was suddenly lost in thought about the tears-in the-rain monologue: “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe…All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.” Someday I will hold my hand up to the light and marvel at the story of my making revealed in my unmaking.

PEACE on the album AS IT IS © 2004 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about BARNEY

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