A Purer Music [David’s blog on KS Friday]

“Education in the true sense is helping the individual to be mature and free, to flower greatly in love and goodness.”~ Krishnamurti

I like to think that Barney-the-piano’s flowering-in-love-and-goodness began the day he was moved into our backyard. For decades he was held captive in a dark church basement boiler room. Not only was he forgotten but the dry heat from the boiler destroyed his soundboard and, therefore, destroyed the purpose he believed was created to fulfill. We caught the junk man just in time. Instead of hauling Barney off to be dismantled and discarded, we paid him to bring Barney to our house.

Barney lived into a second purpose. It took a while for him to settle in, to learn that making music was not his exclusive talent or destiny.

As he lost his keys to weather, as his veneer curled and fell away, he became a refuge, a safe spot for birds and squirrels and chipmunks. The critters rest on his lid, build nests in his sound box. Each day the birds mingle on Barney and sing. Although he himself is not making the music, he knows that the sanctuary he provides gives the birds reason to sing. He inspires a purer music.

We have watched Barney flower-in-love-and-goodness. We have had the good fortune to witness his transformation, no longer resisting the forces of nature but moving in harmony with them. He is free and most certainly mature, no longer bound by a too-narrow definition, no longer invested in how he looks or what others might think of him. He is content. The dark times no longer define him nor does he bother to hold onto those memories. They get in the way of the birdsong. They distract him from enjoying the moment. He knows that distractions of the past interrupt his other newfound purpose: teaching us, his students, the power of letting go of all that we cannot control.

GRATEFUL on the album AS IT IS © 2004 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s music is available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about BARNEY

likesharecommentsupportthankyou!

The Daisy Path [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Sometimes life gives you a second chance. My second chance met me at an airport. She was holding a daisy so that I would recognize her. Wouldn’t it be lovely if every time life opened a heart-door, a second chance, “the right path”, it was marked with a daisy so that we would recognize it? I saw the daisy. We skipped out of the airport.

That day was thirteen years ago. The daisy has lived on the dashboard of LittleBabyScion since the day she held it at the airport. She held it when we skipped to the car. She put it on the dashboard for the drive from the airport where it remains to this day. It is now a very fragile shadow of a daisy but no less of a talisman. It heals. It inspires. It connects. It reminds us how very lucky we are.

The quote at the bottom of my 1440 newsletter today was from Martha Washington: “The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.” The daisy on the dashboard is both a thread that binds us to our origin story and a gratitude-marker reminding us each and every day that we have nothing to complain about, that his big ole universe extended an abundance to us that few people ever enjoy. We do not take that gift lightly. Our circumstance over these 13 years may have been rocky but our happiness continues to grow greater and greater because we never take the daisy-path for granted.

My sister-in-law once commented that Kerri and I work hard to keep the magic alive and it is true. We work hard but we also know a secret about the magic: the harder we work the easier it becomes. Cultivating wonder is a feedback loop; wonder cultivates us in return. Wonder is the hallmark of the daisy path and I am more than astounded that one day, thirteen years ago, I stepped off a plane and met my destiny holding a daisy.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THIRTEEN

likesharecommentsupportthankyou

Everyday, Everyday [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Sometimes it feels as if this great big old universe pops us on the head. It wants our attention. It wants us to hear its music beyond the noisy ruckus. This is one of those times.

Many months ago, late at night while Kerri was sleeping, I came across a video called, The Life We Have. I wasn’t paying too much attention and thought it was a hiking video so I clicked on it. I was not prepared for what I saw. At the end I had to stifle my sobs so I didn’t wake Kerri. So, when last week it popped up again in our feed, I told her she had to see it: Rob Shaver, living with stage four cancer for over 20 years, squeezing every ounce of gratitude he can from the life he has. His story is raw. His telling is pure. We both sobbed.

The next day L sent us a video of a man, a friend and teacher, speaking of orienting his life toward gratitude.

The next day D told us of his dedication to live from a place of generosity: generosity in thought, in action, in spirit.

The next day, while sitting in the backyard, seven vultures dropped from the clouds – seven – riding the thermals, spiraling low, just over our heads, and then circling higher and higher until they disappeared again into the clouds. It was gorgeous. Symbolically they represent purification and transformation. “I guess we’d better start paying attention,” I said.

In this past decade, ours has been a path of fire. Layers of dross and armor have been burned away. Bags of life-garbage have been reduced to cinders. We have no illusion that we are garbage-free but we are certain that the junk no longer dominates our view. We are not nearly as invested in murky grievances as once we might have been. We’re more and more clear-eyed in appreciating the moment we’re in and less and less interested in being anywhere else. More and more we hear the music in all things.

“The best thing you can do for your lungs is sing,” Rob Shaver said. This from a man who runs miles a day, a man whose lungs are filled with tumors. ‘”Everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday, everyday…be grateful for the life you have.”

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE MUSIC

likesharecommentsupportthankyou

The Sound of Peace [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

There’s a mourning dove serenading us as we write. I love their song. They make me think of Bali. Each morning I took early meditation walks to the song of mourning doves. For me, they are the sound of peace.

Our Airbnb was on the grounds of a Catholic retreat center. After a long day of freeway driving it was a special treat to leave the known world and enter a patch of earth dedicated to quiet and reflection. Our host told us that we were welcome to walk the grounds so, after unloading our bags, we wandered the woods and slow-walked the roads. I was once again reminded how profound – and immediate – is the impact of our environment on us. Aggression evokes aggression. We meet the violence of the news-of-the-day with anger and fear. We are not as independent, not nearly as separate, as we like to believe. Environment shapes behavior. David Abram wrote that presence (a quiet mind) is nearly impossible in the incessant goal-driven noise of the USofA.

And, so, we stepped into the woods. The harried drive dropped from our shoulders, the frenetic game of freeway leap-frog dissipated. I imagined the trees breathed in our weariness and exhaled ease into our bones. We relished the vibrant colors elicited by the setting sun. We stood still and absorbed the bird song. We strolled by the nun’s residence and I wondered what a life lived in retreat might awaken.

I wondered what this nation might become if it honored quiet truth as much a noisy distraction…and then I let that thought go. It was a remnant of the freeway, a disturbance from another world. It called my attention away from the song of the mourning dove.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE CENTER

likesharecommentsupportthankyou

Squirrel Lore [David’s blog on KS Friday]

My dad had a special relationship with squirrels though I doubt he thought of his squirrel-connection as special. He kept a BB gun at the ready to keep the little varmints from eating the peaches from his tree. He never aimed to hit them. He’d shoot the leaves close by to scare them. Once, when his eyesight was failing, he accidentally hit a squirrel. “Did I hit him?” he asked me, horrified. The squirrel was stung but otherwise uninjured. My dad was wounded to his core. “I didn’t mean to hit him,” he repeated, misty eyed throughout the evening. I am not certain but I think that was the last time he touched his BB gun.

Our yard is alive with squirrels. Dogga chases them. He gives them a quick bark as he skids to a stop while they scurry to the safety of the pine tree. And then he prances, triumphant in his mission of yard patrol. Later, we laugh as he lounges on the deck, uninterested in the yard-antics of the squirrels.

The squirrels have easily cracked the code of every bird-feeder-squirrel-protection-mechanism on the market. They are furry little ninjas stealing birdseed like their human counterparts heist diamonds. After years of gadgets and guards and placements – and serious thoughts about finding my dad’s leaf-ready BB gun – we’re in full surrender. We now scatter birdseed on the potting bench and on the top of Barney-the-piano. We invite the furry masses. The birds and squirrels dine peacefully together. They take turns. They are well fed.

When I refresh the scatter of seed I think of my dad. His squirrel campaign gave him a sense of purpose. Protecting the peach tree from the squirrels was a worthy-and-fun retirement mission. Without their constant assault on the peaches he would have been left with nothing more meaningful than cutting the grass (note: he edged the yard on his hands and knees with handheld clippers. My brother threatened to buy him an edger but he adamantly resisted. In analogy, my brother assumed the role of a squirrel, threatening my dad’s yard aesthetic routine).

I sometimes wonder if the squirrels watch us in utter fascination. We humans need challenges to feel useful. If we don’t have challenges we invent them; we call them hobbies. It’s the reason that “conflict” is the driver of every human story. A yearning meets an obstacle (Robert Olen Butler’s definition of “story”). Yearning needs obstacle like my dad needed squirrels. And now I have a special relationship with the squirrels: I do not try to deter them. I love watching them. I love Dogga’s daily game with them. They give him purpose. I love scattering seed for them. I love that they make me smile and remember the gentle man who was my father.

YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE © 2002 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s music is available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about SQUIRRELS

likesharecommentsupportthankyou

Tender Of The Garden [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

A week ago they were nowhere to be found. This week the peonies are poppin’! Kerri is the guardian of the peonies, the tender-of-the-garden.

My job is to clean out and prepare the beds for new growth. I love it. It is a possible analogy for what my work in the world has always been. Working with student actors or business-folk sometimes felt like clearing the thought-debris that choked their belief. Once the debris was cleared there was no stopping them. Nothing but potential. Peonies-a-poppin’! I loved it.

I usually wait until May to clean out and reset the pond but last week I had an overwhelming desire to DO IT NOW. It was the single warm day in a week of miserable weather. Before I knew it I’d pumped out the old water, removed the leaves and sticks, scrubbed and checked the liner, completely cleaned and restored the filters and the pump, and was refilling the pond with clear water. The fountain gurgled to life. It sounds like a bubbling brook. It is a sound that soothes us.

“So, today’s the day,” she said.

“Today’s the day.” She spied me eyeing the grasses and flower beds. She knows me. Once an impulse takes over I can be, well, obsessive.

“Too soon.” She said. “It’s too soon.” She pulled chairs into the sun so we might sit and watch the pond refill. She knows that if she can get me to sit in the sun and break the momentum then the impulse will abate. My obsession makes her nervous so she’s become expert at tempering my mania.

It occurs to me that she is clearing my heart and mind of debris. It is true, I am easier in the world. She is, after all, the guardian of the peonies, the tender of the garden.

read Kerri’s blogpost about PEONIES

likesharecommentsupportthankyou

If I Look For Them [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

If I look for them, there are signs of normalcy in these abnormal times. This week the striped squill popped up in the front yard. They are always the first comers, the flower-harbingers of spring. I am grateful that the plant life does its best to maintain nature’s routines. As far as the squill and day lilies are concerned it’s business as usual.

It’s a surprisingly powerful phrase: If I look for them. The striped squill would run amok in the front yard whether or not I decided to see them. They bring their promise of warmer times with or without my appreciation. Most years I look for them. I watch the patch of grass where they always first show themselves. I like to witness the pioneer squill, the early risers that poke through the winter grass and unfurl their striped-hope-petals. “Spring’s-a-comin’!” I sigh.

This year they surprised me. Lost in the daily crazy, the national nightmare, I simply forgot to look. In fact, I didn’t see them until the full striped squill chorus had arrived. There were so many that I couldn’t miss them. “Hello, old friends”.

This year, instead of being the augury of spring, they served a different purpose, perhaps a far more important purpose: a reminder of an age old lesson: I have the power to focus on hope just as I have to capacity to focus on all that is amiss in this nation. Both are necessary and it is far too easy to miss the hope in the onslaught of abuse. The assault on our democracy may be immediate but hope is by far more powerful.

If I look for them, I see the bearers of hope everywhere. I see them in the No Kings protesters, I see them in the volunteers at the food pantries, I see them in Marc Elias and Heather Cox Richardson, I see them in my friends and neighbors. Everyday I see multiple acts of kindness – but only if I decide to look for them. They are easy to miss, especially in the multiple acts of violence that dominate the media, the ubiquitous language of violence that permeates our politics. And yet, if I paid attention, if I counted and compared, the hope and kindness far outnumbers the ugliness.

The striped squill put me on notice: it is far too easy to get lost in the horror show. It is, indeed, important to pay attention to the arsonist’s fire burning through our democracy but it is equally important to keep sight of the many hundreds of thousands fighting the fire, the legions of people supporting the firefighters, calling out the lies, lending helping hands, stepping up to help in any way they can. They are everywhere, bearers of hope, believers in goodness, guardians of decency, heralds of the coming spring.

read Kerri’s blogpost about SQUILL

likesharesupportthankyou

Their Spell [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

Had it been my job to name them they would have never been associated with mourning. Instead of sad or haunting, I find the song of mourning doves reassuring. It is soothing. Calming doves. Reassuring doves.

In the spring and summer their song is often the first thing I hear in the morning. While the coffee brews I let Dogga out; I pause at the backdoor and appreciate the cool morning air and the mourning dove serenade. They are quiet heralds of appreciation for all-the-life approaching in the upcoming day.

This year we have a mourning dove couple in residence. I’ve not yet discovered their nest but they are regulars, pecking in the yard. They are daily visitors at the bird-bath-drink-n-spa. They perch on the wires or the roof of the neighbors garage and sing their siren song, spinning a spell of serenity over us as we sit and absorb the sun. Dogga chases them. They squawk and complain but always return when he settles on the deck for a snooze.

In these disconcerting times I am especially appreciative of their spell, their gift of equanimity. Serenity is slippery in the daily dose of malicious chaos but the mourning doves, our singers of tranquility, always bring me home to my heart, slow my breathing, quiet my troubled mind. Magic doves.

read Kerri’s blogpost about MOURNING DOVES

likesharecommentsupportthankyou

Just Right [David’s blog on KS Friday]

Melange Wardrobe Fun Facts:

#1. We don’t consider our jeans broken-in until they have holes.

#2. On the day we met we both chose to wear non-holey jeans. We didn’t want to scare the other person away. Everything else, the boots, the blacks sweater…it was as if we called each other to coordinate.

#3. We were married in jeans that had holes. We were beyond the appearance phase of our relationship. The truth – our truth – has holes-in-the-knees. In fact, much of our wedding prep involved a world-wide search to find the perfect pair of new holey jeans. Holy jeans.

#4. For reasons I can’t explain, a hole always forms in the right knee of my brand new non-holey jeans. Always the right knee. Kerri, on the other hand, rarely achieves naturally holey jeans so she has to search for her truth. Mine always finds me.

#5. An anecdote: An elderly man in a maga hat stopped Kerri in the grocery store. “You must have a cat?” he sneered.

She was polite. “I used to have a cat,” she said, playing along. “How can you tell?”

“You need new pants,” he crowed his punchline. She acted like his joke was funny and the holes in her jeans were a complete surprise. The old man, feeling clever, repeated his joke to other shoppers. “Look at her pants! She must have a cat!”

#6. A common question in our house as we prepare to go out: “Do you think it’s okay to wear these?” A common answer to a common question: “Of course. Why not?” A common response to a common answer to a common question: “I guess I should wear what I want to wear.” I suppose there are holes in the fabric of acceptance that must always be considered.

We enact this ritual almost every day and always arrive at the same conclusion. The holes are in self-acceptance. Memories of Quinn always fill the holes for me. I hear his good laughter: “There are 6 billion people on the planet and you’re the only one who cares what you think.”

Now there are over 8 billion people on the planet and I am eternally grateful that there is one other person on this earth who cares what I feel and think and wear. This grand old universe knows how to coordinate.

And the shirt above the jeans with holes? A black thermal. Always. Oversized for her. Just right for me.

Just right for me.

***

Happy Birthday, my love!

on the album AS SURE AS THE SUN © 2002 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about HOLES IN JEANS

likesharecommentsupportthankyou

Time To Linger [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

These days Dogga rarely bursts out of the house to clear the yard of marauding squirrels and trespassing birds. Now he lopes out the backdoor, stands at the end of the deck, finds a good cool spot, lays down and surveys his vast territory. We tease that he is doing what my dad, Columbus, did in his final chapter. He sat in the shade and thought his thoughts.

The thimbleweed along the trail reminds me of cotton. The pods usually release their seeds in the fall but sometimes they hang on through the winter. I wonder if these seeds have missed their moment. They hung on too long. Is this puffy white cluster a failure to launch or are these the seeds of an older plant that no longer needs to toss wild dreams into the future? Perhaps it is time to linger.

Yesterday was a particularly nasty day outside. We binge-watched an entire season of Virgin River. One of the characters, in a moment of crisis, realized that she was trying very hard to hang onto an identity – a version of herself – that was no longer relevant. Life had stripped away a layer of her mask. She needed to let go. I completely understood her revelation. Old dreams need not fly from the pod in search of fertile ground. Sometimes old dreams are just that: old. Letting go makes space for new dreams and new questions. It clears space for Now. There is certainly no end to life’s questions.

We had a rare day of sun. We bagged all of our plans, pulled out our chairs and basked. In truth, our decision to sit in the sun was about Dogga. Rather than leave and explore the world, we chose to sit in the sun with him. His favorite thing to do is hang out with us. There is no end to our questions but there is absolute clarity in our priorities. How long will we have him with us? We don’t really know. What we do know is that there is nothing more important than surveying vast territory with him. We would regret forever if we lost ourselves in the pursuit of old dreams and missed this moment, this time to linger with him.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THIMBLEWEED

likesharecommentsupportthankyou