Appreciate The Simple [on saturday morning smack-dab.]

I awoke alarmed and sat up. Dogga was not sleeping at the foot of the bed! He’s always there! Where was he? And then I remembered. We were “up north” for a few days. Dogga was safe at home with 20. I lay awake feeling deeply his absence. Disoriented.

A few days later we were home. Because of my up-north-late-night-moment-of-bewilderment, I was hyper-aware of how “right” our world feels when we are all together. I adore our daily patterns and rituals. Dogga’s enthusiasm, his Aussie quirks inform every move we make.

Sometimes we think we hear BabyCat thumping around upstairs or awake feeling as if he just jumped onto the bed – we call it “the raft.” When we are all together on the raft, there is nothing better on earth.

It’s such a simple and yet profound thing. Presence. With it, all is right in the world.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE RAFT

smack-dab. © 2023 kerrianddavid.com

Nod [on saturday morning smack-dab.]

There is a lesson I receive again and again but – for obvious reasons – the penny refuses to drop. The learning hits me and slides off my Teflon brainpan. The lesson is this: Listen, don’t solve. Especially in the middle of the night. Particularly in the middle of the night. My job is to nod, nothing more.

The reason for my late night ineptitude? At the risk of reinforcing a stereotype, I am a male. I am hardwired to solve. When I’m tired I have no editor. Okay, when I’m rested, I have no editor so imagine my predicament in the dark hours.

It’s shocking. Since so much of my career was built on my great capacity to listen, I am sometimes astounded at how quickly I begin my lobby for a solution.

Dogga looks at me and shakes his head. I know what he’s thinking. “He’ll never learn.” It’s true. I can say with the utmost confidence that last night’s lesson is already forgotten and I am fully prepared to learn it again tonight.

read Kerri’s blogpost about LISTEN

smack-dab. © 2023 kerrianddavid.com

Visit An Old Friend [on saturday morning smack-dab.]

We often walk the same trail. You’d think we’d get bored but we like to see how it changes through different seasons and at different times of the day. It’s never the same. It’s like an old friend.

In the same way, on our way home, we stop and visit a tree in a farmer’s field. It stands in isolation, alluring on the horizon. It is both the same and never the same. A guardian in the fog. The geese land in the surrounding field and gather close to its protective arms. It is an ancient beacon in the cold icy snow. It’s silhouette at sunset has moved me to tears. We have a relationship with it. It’s like an old friend.

Our old friends remind us to open our eyes. To pay attention. To make no assumptions. They are never the same and, I suppose, the same is true of us, too. A different season. A different time of day. Through cold and sun, fog and rain, if we stop to see or slow down enough to notice, time reveals us as we are. Ever-changing. Beautiful.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE TREE

smack-dab. © 2023 kerrianddavid.com

Breathe Again [on saturday morning smack-dab.]

Yesterday, as a birthday present, Kerri took me to the Milwaukee Museum of Art. I haven’t been to a gallery or art museum since COVID and she could tell I was running on empty. In the past, we’d spend hours sitting in front of Richard Diebenkorn’s paintings. The museum has two of his Ocean Park series and I never tire of my conversation with them.

Adjacent to Diebenkorn is the site of my greatest artistic victory: it’s where, years ago, I introduced Kerri to Ellsworth Kelly. At first she rejected him outright. Now, she joins me in my delight of his vibrant love of color. I smiled to the core of my being yesterday when she took my hand and with great anticipation led me to the gallery room where Ellsworth’s paintings live. Someday we will make a pilgrimage to Ellsworth Kelly’s Austin at the Blanchard Museum of Art. It is a sacred space of color and light.

I didn’t know how much I needed to hang out with the masters. I knew I needed to refill my artistic-cup but wasn’t aware of how much I longed to step out of the race-for-tomorrow and sit in quiet consultation with the artist-dedication-to-now. Richard, Ellsworth, Georgia, Pablo and the rest. Today, I feel as if I can breathe…

read Kerri’s blogpost about ELLSWORTH KELLY

smack-dab. © 2023 kerrianddavid.com

Have No Ideas [on saturday morning smack-dab.]

I was satisfied with the second pair of frames I tried. For me, the whole process of frame selection took less than two minutes. Kerri? Not so much. She went through every frame in the store, twice. And then every frame in another store. And another. And another. She had a specific idea and none of the choices aligned with the frames-she-imagined or fulfilled the criteria on her list.

This is a crucial distinction and perhaps a key to happiness! I had no idea so everything was a viable option. She had a specific idea and an exacting criteria so the field of options was limited from the outset. The key to happiness: have no ideas. Ditch the criteria.

In the end, after weeks of searching and trying on frames, it came down to this: everyone in the shop voted. And, I mean everyone: the optometrist, the assistants, The manager, the other customers, and some random person who came into the shop to see what all the fuss was about. The vote was unanimous. The selection was made.

Her ideal remains unfulfilled but I am happy to report that after much searching the frames have landed.

read Kerri’s blogpost about FRAMES

smack-dab. © 2023 kerrianddavid.com

See The Signs [on saturday morning smack-dab.]

“You know you’re getting older when…” you delude yourself into thinking life used to be simpler. Lately, I am a festival of delusion. Or, perhaps, I’m a keen observer of social trends! Yes. That must be it. I can’t possibly be like other people!

Case-in-point: most people have muses or angels that sit on their shoulders. I have a “Savvy.” My Savvy tells me things like this: we live in app mentality: the notion that we can personalize our “screens” with an infinite selection of choices is post-modern bubble madness. Choices for the sake of choices but not necessarily meaningful choices. Personal preference run amok!

Of course, my Savvy might be taking advantage of my weakening eyesight. Just like angels that perch on shoulders, I have two Savvies. A Good one. And a Savvy with a sense-of-humor dedicated to making me the butt of every joke. Actually, the good Savvy has probably already retired and is sunning herself in Boca Grande. Bad Savvy is having too much fun to retire. I can’t really tell if Good Savvy is still around because I can’t see like I used to.

In addition to seeing Good Savvy, I mostly want to see the traffic signs at night. That’s it. How many choices are required to achieve my simple desire?

read Kerri’s blogpost about GLASSES

smack-dab. © 2023 kerrianddavid.com

Stack The Crate [on saturday morning smack-dab.]

I was getting calf-cramps almost every night and then my mom told me about the sock-trick. I was dubious at first but in the months since I’ve initiated the sock-strategy, I’ve only had one cramp. And it was mild. Who knew!

My night-table used to have a stack of books and a digital clock. That was it. My current version has books AND reading glasses, socks (yes, more than one pair), multiple notebooks with pens, phones with charging cables and a computer, also with a charging cable, Post-it notes, and the manual for a humidifier. There’s room for my coffee cup but just barely. Apparently, aging comes with paraphernalia.

The good news: Dogga’s crate sits next to my night-table so, as my accessories multiply, I have ample room for spill-over. The top of the crate is like a garage: a place for piling random stuff for possible use someday. And, since it’s technically not my night-table, I don’t have to acknowledge the growing stacks.

read Kerri’s blogpost on this SATURDAY MORNING SMACK-DAB.

smack-dab. © 2023 kerrianddavid.com

Think Like A Man [on Saturday Morning Smack-Dab.]

20 calls this this type of logic “man-thinking”: it’s a car -we drive cars -therefore we can drive THIS car. The problem with man-syllogisms is that sometimes reality and logic are a mismatch. Sometimes A does not equal C, even when we want it to. That we drive cars does not mean that we know how to drive all cars.

Man-thinking is at the root of my suggesting “Maybe-I-should-try-it.” I eat crow every time but that’s never stopped me from making the suggestion. Besides, Kerri is WAAAY more mechanical than I am so, if she can’t fix it, what chance do I have [note: I’m good at opening jars that she can’t open but opening jars is not really a technical problem…no thought required]?

And, if you really want to know what’s funny AND typical man-thinking, consider the dialogue that would happen in the next cartoon panel. She’s just suggested that we ask for help. What?! COME ON! I’m a guy (mostly). Asking for help is the LAST THING I’m capable of doing. I have to break it first or be totally lost before admitting that I don’t know where I am or what I’m doing. What will happen to my “flex-n-strut” if I admit defeat? What will happen to my self-image and my dedicated man-thinking if I say, “Great idea” ?

read Kerri’s blogpost on this saturday morning smack-dab

smack-dab. © 2023 kerrianddavid.com

Think Like An Old Guy [on saturday morning smack-dab.]

Little-Baby-Scion was minted in 2006. Big Red rolled off the line in 1998. Both of our vehicles are old. Oh, yeah. The VW Bug in the garage is vintage 1971. I rarely think of it as a vehicle because it hasn’t moved in years.

We didn’t realize how old our cars are until last week when we rode around as passengers in newer cars complete with the latest technology. Had we rented these cars, we’d have required a how-does-it-work tutorial. To say the least, it was eye-opening.

Riding around in the back seat I couldn’t help but think of the washing machine salesman that agreed with us when we walked by the newer computer-driven machines to the lonely old school washers. “We just want it to wash our clothes,” Kerri explained.

The salesman whispered to us, “The new machines are crap. Designed to breakdown and too expensive to repair. You’ll be replacing it in a few years.” We bought the old warhorse. It came with a 15 year warranty.

I nestled into my seat and laughed at my old-guy-thoughts, “Nice, but necessary?” 20 tells me that heated seats are the greatest invention since sliced bread. If I had them, I’d probably agree.

read Kerri’s blogpost about NEW CARS

smack-dab. © 2023 kerrianddavid.com

Return To The Spot [on saturday morning smack-dab.]

When we brought Dogga home for the first time, Kerri worried that BabyCat would never accept life with a dog. She needn’t have been concerned. They were fast-friends and constant companions until the day BabyCat passed.

There are a few places around the house that were Dogga & BabyCat cuddle spots: after breakfast they’d snooze together in the kitchen. The living room rug was a favorite daily rendezvous. The raft (our bed) was their safe place when we were gone on errands.

And then there’s the door. We have a photo that breaks my heart. The day Kerri rushed BabyCat to the emergency vet, Dogga stood vigil at the door. Just as each morning after breakfast he wanders into the kitchen and waits, he often returns to that spot at the door. We think he’s waiting for us. BabyCat knows better.

read Kerri’s blogpost on this saturday morning smack-dab.

smack-dab. © 2023 kerrianddavid.com