Posted on January 20, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative
Cleaning out, for Kerri, has been like an archeological-story-dig of her life. I am a relative newcomer to the house and came with a truckload of paintings and not much else, so we are mostly excavating her life before me. Sometimes there is a gasp. Sometimes hysterical laughter. Sometimes I know she has found something important because of the profound silence. Sometimes there are tears.
Always there are stories. Treasured stories. Memories stirred by the simplest of finds, a shirt, a cassette tape, a teething ring.
I am the lucky recipient of her story-archeology and delight every time I hear her say, “Come look at this.”
Posted on September 1, 2023 by davidrobinsoncreative
There’s a scene in The Lost Boy that I especially love. In the play, Tom tells the story of finding his 90 year old aunt Buntie, on a very windy day, standing on the roof of the ranch house. He coaxes her down a rickety ladder and then chastises her, “Don’t go on the roof anymore! Call me if you need something!”
“Oh! You sound just like your uncle Sandy!” Buntie laughs. “He’s mad at me because I’m on the roof but I tell him I have to see that the shingles are still there. Dad put a fine roof on the house!”
When I see a bird on a wire, I think of Tom’s story. I’ve somehow associated a bird on a wire with Buntie on the roof.
Bird on a wire. It’s a perfect metaphor with many possible meanings. For Buntie, a true bird on the wire, the metaphor means to carefully consider your next step. You are in a potentially dangerous place. Wires carry electricity.
I remember sitting in Tom’s small living room at the ranch, late at night, when he began to reminisce. He delighted in telling stories of Buntie. I turned on my tape recorder. I asked a few questions but mostly listened. He was a great storyteller and needed no encouragement. He had become a bird on a wire. Like Buntie, he was reclusive in his old age, another possible meaning of the metaphor. He was sitting by himself on the metaphoric roof trying to keep the family stories from blowing away in time’s persistent wind.
We’re staying inside. Our area is under a “heat dome” for the next few days so the shades are drawn and our little window air conditioner is chanting, “I think I can! I think I can!” It’s taking the edge off the sizzle and for that we are grateful.
Somedays, like today, we feel like birds on a wire with our feet trapped in lime, preventing us from flying. It’s yet another possible meaning of the metaphor. Perhaps the oldest meaning of the metaphor. Caught in a sticky trap. Nothing is moving. No progress is being made. We sit on our wire, songbirds.
“We’re not getting anywhere,” she said, closing her laptop.
“Nope,” I agreed. “No. Where.”
“Good thing it’s really hot,” she smiled. “I don’t want to go anywhere anyway.” Lemonade from lemons.
“Yep.” I agreed, declaring, “It’s too hot. I want to sit right here. I don’t want to be anywhere else!”
“We’re lucky,” she smiled.
“Yep.” We are extraordinarily lucky. We may feel trapped but we’re still singing.
From somewhere out of time, Tom winked at me. Birds on a wire.
As the cowboy rode passed us he asked if we’d noticed the Mayapples. We laughed. This same cowboy, a few years ago, taught us about the Mayapples. He’d forgotten but seemed pleased when we reminded him. “That cowboy loves his Mayapples,” I said as he rode on down the trail.
We see each other through soda straws. A few brief encounters, a man on a horse dressed as if he just rode in from Wyoming, a lover of Mayapples. I really know nothing of his story or the realities of his life. I thought about him as we continued our walk. He might be a surgeon or a professor of botany. He might be an apparition. I doubt that “cowboy, lover of Mayapples” is the totality of his identity. I have many story-possibilities rolling for the cowboy, yet, my bet is that I’d be surprised if I had more than a straw’s view into his life.
Most of our judgments about others is a result of the straw’s view. We are master storytellers and only require the slightest prompt to spin a full tale. We see a 30 second news spot and believe we have the complete story of someone’s life. I suspect most of what we fear about other people is mostly soda-straw concoction. Laura Blumenfeld’s book, Revenge, is a great reminder of what is possible when the soda-straw view, the assigned role, expands into a full human portrait. A closer look always reveals a richer human story.
Later down the trail I howled with laughter. We’ve been fans of the Mayapple since our first encounter with the cowboy yet never knew there was a blossom hidden beneath the canopy of leaves. “Oh, my god!” Kerri exclaimed, lifting the broad leaf, exposing the white bloom. We lifted a few more leaves, each hiding a surprise flower. “I had no idea!” we chirped in unison.
“Have you noticed the Mayapples?” asked the cowboy. Apparently not.
Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes & streaming on Pandora
I’ve tried to keep notes on my computer. I know that typing my notes into the digital world will make them searchable. Easier to find. It just doesn’t work for me. If I write with a pen on paper, I remember. Marking an important page with a Post-it note makes finding my notes faster than a search engine. It’s not that I am old school. I’m kinesthetic.
I’ve always kept notebooks. At this moment there are two within my reach. The Melange notes. On the desk in my office a is a notebook and three yellow pads. The yellow pads are a task-capture strategy. The notebook is idea capture. Quote capture. Thoughts-in-progress. The notebooks are like my sketchbooks, a place to work out my thought-compositions. They are the history, the breadcrumb trail of a project. For me, the riches are never in the outcome. The real treasures are alive in the notebook process paths.
I’d rather look at an artist’s sketchbook than the finished painting. I have a book of Picasso’s sketches that I treasure. Spend a few moments in Leonardo’s sketches or Michelangelo’s scribbles and you’ll forever toss away the notion of a mistake. Look behind the scenes at the process. A dancer will spend hours in repetition to incorporate a move into their body. The playwright will write hundreds of pages to arrive at a few, yet, those hundreds of pages are nothing less than reduction to essence. Refinement on the path of saying more with less.
Look behind to see the structure. Turn it over to see the pattern. I am, to this day, in awe of the Wayan Kulit master. I looked behind the shadow puppet screen to see the artist at work and, what appears in simple two-dimensions in front of the curtain, is a symphony of structure and improvisation. The man wore an oil lamp on his head to cast the light for the puppets, held a rock between his toes to tap, keeping time for the musicians seated behind him, all the while manipulating and voicing multiple characters, telling with simple clarity an epic tale. A lifetime of trial and error, complexity made simple, like a dancer, the story was deeply choreographed in his body. I wished I could have seen this elder storyteller-priest when he was young and developing his mastery. I’d love to see his notebooks.
I’ve recently had cause to return to my old notebooks. I marvel at the thought cycles coming back around. I’m taken again and again by the questions that still linger, and by those that seem antiquated. “How could I have not seen it!” I smile, knowing in just a few more drafts, a notebook or two down the road, the clarity would arrive.
A peek behind the scenes. It is for me, where the real beauty shines.
“It’s a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in this broken world.” ~ Mary Oliver
Were I to have been born in an earlier century I would not be alive today. Twice on my life-path doctors have declared that, “You are now a miracle of modern medicine.” Leeches and blood-letting would not have cured what ailed me.
This thing called ‘science’ is what gave me more days of life. It is the same science that developed vaccines for a pandemic but also made possible the technology that makes mass-media-misinformation possible. Here is the medicine. Here is the disease. It is exactly as Sophocles wrote: Nothing vast enters the life of mortals without a curse.
One morning, deeply tired, I arose to go do a job that I did not like. It was a means to an end and I dreaded the day ahead of me. Stepping out the door, the cold morning air stopped me in my tracks. It slapped me awake. The air was crisp and clean, the neighborhood was quiet. The light in the sky was brilliant. I drank it in. I vowed never again to dread a day of my life. In truth, I had no idea what the day held for me. Why then, would I story my day with a frame of dread? Why tell myself a tale of just-getting-through-it? Why not open to the possibilities of surprise and miracle? Why not embrace the already-stated-obvious-thing: I had no idea what the day held. That simple fact would be true every single day of my life. Dread was a choice, not an inevitability.
To be alive on this fresh morning. It is a serious thing. In this world, broken by the little story of us-and-them, the tiny tale of power-over. Choices. The miracle of the new day is present whether it is seen or not. We can cloak it in dread or gratitude, in support or division. It doesn’t care either way. The miracle of the new day, the gift of being alive on this fresh morning in a world that is broken or healed, whole or fragmented – it all depends upon the story-frame we wrap around it. The story we tell is a choice, not an inevitability.
Posted on September 23, 2019 by davidrobinsoncreative
The first of Don Miguel Ruiz’s 4 Agreements is to take nothing personally. He writes that everyone (in their mind’s eye) is the star of their own movie and you are merely a bit player in their story. Their drama is theirs. Their drama is not yours. So, when they hurt you or shout at you or call you names, it is not personal. It is their story, their drama, and there is no need to make their story yours. In fact, to try and own their story or take responsibility for what is playing through their head is impossible. It is, in fact, madness.
It’s easier said than done: don’t take ownership of other people’s drama.
I laughed aloud when, many years after reading the 4 Agreements, I read the 5th Agreement: Doubt everything you think. In other words, in addition to not owning other people’s drama, realize that your own drama is not as serious as you might think. It’s a passing cloud, a made-up story in which you are the star and other people are cast as bit players. Take seriously your story and you will yell at others, call them names, try to hurt their feelings as you attempt to force your drama on them.
Bookends. Their drama is not yours. Don’t take it personally. Your drama is not nearly as serious as you pretend. Doubt everything that you think.
What lives between those two dramatic delusion-poles is sometimes called presence. Sometimes it is called peace. It is not a static state, not an arrival or an achievement. It’s a relationship available with others (and the world) when the realization comes that no single story is central or primary or really that important. It is, in many spiritual traditions, called the middle way.
Artists are constantly reaching backward and forward through time. They daily pay visits to the work of the masters. They periodically revisit their own past creations. Their work sends ripples of inspiration and opportunity far into the future.
When Beethoven was young he wrote a ballet called The Creatures of Prometheus. It calls for a legion of dancers and is way too big for most contemporary ballet companies to attempt. Contemporary symphonies, on the other hand, desire to play the music because Beethoven, for the rest of his life, reached back into his ballet, mining for musical phrases, developing some of the phrases into his most famous work.
How to play the music from a ballet written in 1801 as a symphonic piece in 2009?
Yaacov Bergman, the visionary and laughter-filled director of the Portland Chamber Orchestra had an idea. Why not tell the story of the ballet. A storytelling would provide the connective tissue, weaving the music together into a cohesive symphonic performance. Because Beethoven wrote a ballet, 207 years later, I had the great good fortune to write and perform the story of The Creatures of Prometheus with the PCO.
And, since we were crossing time boundaries, why not cross a few artistic genres, too. Yaki hired artist Liz Gil-Neilson to paint and produce a visual storytelling that was projected during the performance. Music, storytelling, contemporary visual art. Ripples, ripples, everywhere.
But, that was not enough. Since I am also a visual artist, Yaki asked that I translate my story into a visual statement. So, I painted three large canvases (Creation, Garden, Resurrection), one for each movement of the symphony, that hung with Liz’s original images during run of the symphony at the George Broderick Gallery in Portland.
Reaching forward. Reaching back. Today, more than a decade after our collaboration, I mine my experiences and paintings for inspiration. As new collaborations arise, as I stand at the base of a new series of seemingly impossible tasks, I’m fortunate to have my Creatures of Prometheus to remind me of the possibilities. They nudge me forward. Like Beethoven, I reach back into my past work to find a path forward.
It makes me smile to know that in 1801 Beethoven, with a quill pen and ink, scribbled notes at his desk and those scribbles turned into dances and symphonies that inspired stories and paintings and a wacky multi-media collaboration (a phrase that did not exist during his lifetime). And more: a morsel image digitally altered for a blog post written on a computer keyboard. Pen and ink are hard to come by. Reaching backward. Reaching forward.
Posted on January 3, 2019 by davidrobinsoncreative
“One of the reasons that we wonder is because we are limited, and that limitation is one of the great gateways to wonder.” ~John O’Donohue
I loved this canvas before I painted Cloud Watchers on it. It was old and used. Chunky with layers. I can’t remember how it came to me but I do remember thinking that it was the Velveteen Rabbit of canvas. Loved. Well worn. A long history – that is to say – filled with lots and lots of story. Perfect.
And, how appropriate that it is living a next chapter as Cloud Watchers, part of a series that I call ‘narrative.’ All narratives – inner and outer – are projections. Life’s stories are image transfers, meaning imposed just like the meaning we place upon the movement of clouds. There’s a duck! Look! There’s a dragon, a dinosaur, an elephant. A fear. A goal. An opinion. Mr Magoo! Belief! There’s Thomas Jefferson! The Buddha.
We reach with wonder from our isolation. We touch through imagination. We are cloud watchers full of story, filling the air with our stories. We are glorious creators all!
One of the first things I learned and loved about Kerri was her natural impulse to story telling. During rehearsals she is famous for putting her hands on the piano, the choir poised, inhaling to sing the first note, and without warning, she will break into a story. “Did I tell you what happened this week!” We exhale in laughter and confusion, caught off guard (again!) and tumbling into her tale.
Deep down inside my solo-piano-playing-composer-wife harbors a country music singer. She tells me that FREEFALLIN’ IN LOVE is her nod to that part of herself. If I am successful in my intentions I will liberate that honky tonk woman so she can tell us more stories through song. She’s a natural. Just ask the choir. Or the neighbors. Or our friends. Or people we meet on the road. In the grocery store….
FREEFALLIN’ IN LOVE on AS SURE AS THE SUN is available in iTunes & CDBaby
The Direction of Intention 