A Pendulum With What? [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

“Along the way, we have unlearned how to live wide-eyed with wonder at what Hermann Hesse called “the little joys” — those unpurchasable, unstorable emblems of aliveness that abound the moment we look up from our ledger of lack.” ~ Maria Popova, The Marginalian, January 28, 2025

I am aware that reading my recent posts, my letters to the world, are like riding a wild pendulum.

Side note: instead of using the word “pendulum” I was going to use “Newton’s Cradle” only I couldn’t remember what the device was called. I was having trouble Googling it because I couldn’t figure out how to ask the question necessary to produce the result. Kerri pulled up “Newton’s Cradle” in a nanosecond. “How did you do that?” I asked, “What words did you use to get it so quickly?”

“A pendulum with balls,” she said. I burst out laughing. “What?!” she protested, “That’s what it is!” I’m still laughing.

And so, a pendulum with balls. Newton’s Cradle. Lately, reading what I write is like riding that – whatever that is. One day my post rages at the coming storm. The next day my inner Buddha grabs the keyboard and espouses the virtues of presence. Kerri is also writing like a ride on Newton’s Cradle but she’s a better writer than I am, more conversational and heart-full, so her posts are less whiplashy than my raging.

Riding the pendulum is a hot topic of conversation here at the international headquarters of kerrianddavid.com. It’s relatively new to our experience, this bouncing between awe at the little wonders of the day and utter disgust at the titanic horror of our historical moment. Do we honestly give voice to what we are thinking/seeing all the time or only half the time? How much is too much? Who do we want to be in this Brave New World? What is the purpose of writing anything?

When does an artist become trite?

I am reminded of the many, many, many times in my life that I’ve stood in front of school boards, boards of directors, faculty boards, boards, boards, boards, and reminded them that the arts actually serve a purpose in a society beyond entertainment. In fact, neutering the artists is among the first acts of every dictator. No autocrat wants a mirror of truth held up so society might see their reflection.

And so, as we ride the pendulum with balls, we walk through our days with no answers to our questions. We know our job is to see and reflect the full spectrum of our experience, the little joys and the worst nightmares. The sweet cardinal that came to our window, the message scratched in the snow on the side of the trail, all the while ringing the alarm that an arsonist has the keys to the national house. Both/And. Holding on for dear life riding Newton’s Cradle.

read Kerri’s blogpost on Merely A Thought Monday

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Walk The Path [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

On the first day of the new year we bundled ourselves against the cold and walked our usual loop. It is our custom to go outside, no matter the weather, and visit our trail as a ritual start to the new year.

The wind was bitter. Stepping onto the trail we were surprised and perplexed. The recent snow had melted off the path yet the tread-marks of walkers-past remained. It was as if a small group of people stepped in a pan of white paint and, oblivious of their tracks, continued down the trail.

We’ve seen lots of footprints in the snow. Never the reverse, snowprints on dirt.

“This could be our metaphor for the coming year,” I said. “Everything is the opposite of what is natural. Of what is normal.”

She wrinkled her brow. “I no longer know what normal is,” her quip muffled by her scarf. Too true. We are stepping into uncharted territory. Certainly unnatural.

“Shall we?” she asked, offering her gloved hand.

“Yes. Let’s.” There is nothing to be done now, in this new year, in this unnatural circumstance, but hold hands and walk the path.

read Kerri’s blogpost about FOOTPRINTS

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Sanctuary Creation [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

We arrive at another eve’s eve. This year we will slide across the line into 2025 with little-to-no fanfare. We’ll make pizzas and perhaps work on a puzzle. “Working-on-a-puzzle” will be our metaphoric theme for the upcoming year: how do we assemble these disparate pieces into a cohesive picture?

It’s difficult (for me) to move into the new year without trepidation for what’s ahead.

During Covid, with great intention, we made our home a sanctuary. A peaceful space. We created comfort-rituals like our happy-hour so we might ground our days in the positive, in something we looked forward to enjoying at the end of each day. In 2025 we are anticipating a return to the sanctuary since we believe the incoming kakistocracy is a deadly virus rolling across our nation. Social-distancing seems prudent.

This weekend we had a break in the weather and hit the trail. The textures in winter are gorgeous. Water rushing beneath ice, milkweed pods long since exploded and empty of their seeds, a stand of trees barren of their leaves, islands rising from a sea of ochre grasses. Silhouettes against the setting sun.

Among our holiday rituals is to watch the movie, Love Actually. In a famous scene (one among many) Rufus (Rowan Atkinson) giftwraps a gold necklace for a very impatient Harry (Alan Rickman). It is a classic collision of expectations and, even though I know what’s coming, it has me chuckling every time.

Enjoying rituals of comfort. Assembling our disparate pieces into a cohesive whole. Noticing the gorgeous. Returning again and again to tried-and-true sources of laughter. Moving into 2025 I am most grateful that we are adept at sanctuary creation.

read Kerri’s blogpost about FLASHES

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The Seed Of Hope [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Years ago, after watching a workshop production of Romeo & Juliet performed by actors who were in their teens – the age of Romeo & Juliet – our post-play discussion touched on a truism: when you are young, everything seems eternal. If you are in pain, it is forever. If you are in bliss, it is all-consuming. The young lovers, once in pain, felt that they had no other path but to end their pain.

Long life teaches that nothing is forever. Just wait awhile and hope will come skipping around the bend.

In the cycle of the year, these dark winter days are made celebratory by the ever-so-slight return of the light. For generations, people have gathered to honor the promise of future warmth. Hope will soon have buds appear on barren branches.

Some folks-on-earth believe that their act of gathering, performing their ritual, invokes the return of light. They are participants and not mere observers. They are stewards of life rather than consumers of resource.

It’s an interesting exercise. Try it. Tonight, when you light your candles, imagine for a moment that your action matters. It is not merely beautiful.

Imagine, in the moment of touching match to wick, that you are a bringer of light. Imagine that the earth hears and responds to the songs that you sing or that the sun is listening to your heart. Imagine that you are a keeper-of-the-seed-of-hope and, with the magnifying power of family, friends, and community, together, you have to power to reawaken the spring.

read Kerri’s blogpost about WINTER

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Use The Discrepancy [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Every once in a while I flip open one of my well-loved-and-well-worn books to a random page and read a few paragraphs. It’s my way of giving this wise-old universe the opportunity to drop a pertinent message on me. What tidbit of wisdom might I need to hear today?

Yesterday I opened Robert Fritz’s book, The Path Of Least Resistance, and began reading about discrepancy: what is the difference between where you are right now and what you want to create? I read that most people try to remove or deny their discrepancies. They try to eliminate the tension. Artists, on the other hand, understand their discrepancies as fuel. Creative tension. Discrepancy ignites the imagination. The last thing an artist wants to do is blunt their imagination, deny the discrepancy. An artist uses it. It’s a “process focus” rather than an “achievement focus”.

At the stop sign she stopped just shy of the bumper of the car in front of us, pulled out her camera and snapped a photo of the sticker on the window: I hope something good happens to you today. “Now that’s refreshing,” she said. In our travels we see plenty of aggressive bumper messages. Almost daily Kerri asks, “Why would they put THAT on their car? Jeeeeez!”

A wish for something good to happen to you. Today. What is the distance between us-as-a-nation right now, in this very dark moment, and a community that actually hopes for something good to happen to and for everyone? Can you imagine it? Walking in the world with a hope in your heart for good things to happen to everyone you meet, to everyone whose path you cross?

It is an understatement to suggest that there’s quite a discrepancy between what-is and what-could-be. There is a veritable chasm between the incoming angry nightmare and those who voted for hope, decency and kindness. And so it’s a vital time to be an artist. There’s rarely been a time more in need of imagination to counter the backward-looking-conservative-fascist-fantasy.

There’s plenty of fuel for the imagination borne of our massive discrepancy. Hoping for something good to happen to you today – whoever you are – is a great place to start.

read Kerri’s blogpost about SOMETHING GOOD

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Our Moment [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

At the top of the stairs on the second floor of our house is a bulletin board of photographs. We assembled it in 2019 when we took a job on Washington Island. We would be far away from family and friends and hoped the photo-board would help us stay connected to home. It’s funny to me now, I rarely looked at the bulletin board when we were on the island but five years later, firmly ensconced back at home, I pause on the stairs every single day and study it.

It’s the photos of my dad that stop me. In order to function on island we needed a second vehicle. My dad was no longer able to drive so he gave us his truck. The photos were taken when we flew to Colorado to get the truck. We call it Big Red. It was a blue-blue-sky day. Kerri and I were just about to begin the long drive back to Wisconsin. Kerri took some pictures of my dad and me standing next to Big Red.

He died in 2021. Those few photos are among the last I have of him. They are certainly among the last taken when he knew who I was; he was far down the road of dementia on that blue-sky Colorado day.

I stop on the stairs and study the photographs because I knew on that day that I might never see him again. I knew that his time on earth was short. I was fully and completely present with him when Kerri took the photographs. It was sublime and painful. And, I can access the fullness of his presence the moment I look at the photograph. It never fades.

I stop at the top of the stairs to hang out a few minutes with my dad but there is a greater gift in that blue-blue-sky photograph: it is a reminder that those moments happen every day. It is a reminder not to miss it, that these moments are also fleeting. Cooking meals together. The way the Dogga parading with his candy-cane-toy every time we dial the phone. Our slow cleaning out of the basement, playing Rummikube with 20, sitting under the quilt writing blog posts on a cold Wisconsin day, the chimes calling us back to this, our moment. It’s what we have. It’s precious. It’s all we have.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE NOW

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An End Thought [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

“I will not win all of my battles and neither will you. But if we do our best with intelligence, compassion and love, that will be enough – it has to be enough. And, that way, though each outcome may not be what we wanted or hoped for, at least each day we can be proud of who we are.” ~ Elizabeth Glaser

As we continue our dedicated house-clean and rearranging-fest, part of our campaign of distraction from the ugly turn of events in our nation, we found this framed quote in a closet. We removed the quote from its frame and put it in a special spot. The frame is en route to Goodwill.

We kept the quote because it exactly identifies the source of our discord. “…if we do our best with intelligence, compassion and love, that will be enough…” As a nation, we did not do our best. Compassion and love are nowhere visible in the despot-wanna-be and his maga-cult. And as for intelligence…well, I’ve written enough on that score. Intelligence fled the nation, red-faced with embarrassment.

The outcome of the election was most certainly not what we wanted or hoped for – and that is not the heart-of-the-matter. The issue is this: as my dear friend MM wrote following the election, “This is the first time in my life that I’m ashamed to be an American.” Here, here.

We did not do our best. In fact, we forwarded the worst. Sans compassion. Sans love. Sans intelligence. A rapist. A sexual predator. A felon. A reality tv figure, six-times bankrupt – posing as a businessman. Amoral. A racist. A blatant grifter. And demonstrably in mental decline.

Joan taught us a new word: Kakistocracy: government by the least suitable or competent citizens of a state. One need only take a look at the cabinet appointments. “A junk drawer,” as someone quipped. Another wrote, “It’s a clown car.” It’s cringe-worthy.

We bumped into the other Joan at the store. She shared that her “philosophical friends” suggested that nations must go through periods like this in order to grow, a national splitting-of-the-tree-bark. I hope that is the case but, honestly, I don’t think it is. I don’t think Joan believed it either.

Like us, she’s scratching the scorched commons for understanding, wondering what happened to the intelligence, love, and compassion of many in her community; her neighbors, family and friends. Like us, mortified by the people who voted for hate, who turned a blind eye to indecency and all that the tyrant and his budding oligarchs represent – she does not want in-any-way to be included in any form of “we”.

Kerri played this brief instagram video while I was wrestling with an end-thought. This says it all [close the “see more” pop up and make sure to unmute the sound]

read Kerri’s blogpost about WITH OR WITHOUT

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So We Do [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

When I began blogging nearly fifteen years ago I believed that I would in a matter of days run out of things to say. I’ve now completely flipped in my belief: not only have I not yet run out of things to say, I now know that there’s not enough time in my life to write all that I want to write. My list of ideas is longer than my remaining days.

Kerri and I through our Melange have been writing together for six years and eight months. We’re having a hilarious experience that is becoming increasingly more and more frequent. When we are with friends and family and start to recount a story from our recent past, they will cut us off and say, “Yeah, I read about that in your blog.” It always takes us aback and makes us giggle.

We are an open book – perhaps too open! But we also edit. Our posts are rarely longer than 500 words. We write snapshots, not totalities. We know that people in our social-media-world won’t read what we write if it’s too long. Each day we ask, “Is this too much?” or, “How can I condense this?” Each day we ask, “Should I stop here?” We rarely tell the full tale. There’s always a next thought, a detail, a longing…There’s always so much more to say, much more that could be written.

It’s become a gift to me, a reminder that I can never know the whole story of any other person’s life. The important stuff as well as the little moments can never be fully expressed. Feelings and yearnings can’t be captured in words. Poetry is the art of attempting to express the impossible.

Lately, after we hear once again, “Yeah, I read about that in your blog,” when we are alone, Kerri asks me, “Are we too much?” It’s become something of a ritual.

Are we too much?

Rilke wrote, “Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart…” This is what I know: we love to write together so we do. And, we love to share what we love. So we do.

read Kerri’s blogpost about A BLANK PAGE

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The Terms Of The Bargain [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Well, it is nothing short of Faustian.

In the tale, Faust makes a pact with Mephistopheles, the devil, exchanging his soul for unlimited power and material gain. Nothing can touch him for the term of the bargain: the span of his lifetime.

We are living at a moment in time when truth is stranger than fiction, a time in which fiction has made a stranger of truth.

The despot-elect is currently scheduled to be sentenced for his 34 felony convictions on November 26. The opinion prior to the election:

“It’s 50/50” that he gets sentenced in November, said Karen Friedman Agnifilo, a former top official at the Manhattan district attorney’s office and a CNN legal analyst. “If he loses the election, I think he gets sentenced, and I think he gets sentenced to prison. If he wins, I don’t think this goes forward.” She added, “A victory on Election Day, she added, is “his get out of jail free card.”

A “get out of jail free card”. An appropriate analogy since it refers to the game of Monopoly, where money amassers gain dominance over the board and rise above the rules. Money in our real-world-game allows delays-to-justice to stretch into eternity.

In addition to being found guilty of 34 felonies in his Hush Money case, there are three other federal indictments: Federal Election Interference, Georgia Election Interference, and the Classified Documents case. What will happen to these indictments? Poof! The moment he steps into office, they go away. The “get out of jail free” card is the presidency.

We are learning that there is, in fact, not justice for all.

In literature there are two endings to the story of Faust. In the early version, the term of the bargain expires (he dies), Mephistopheles claims his soul and carts him off to hell. In the later version, Goethe’s version, scrubbed clean for those who like Hallmark happy endings, Faust is redeemed. Gretchen, the woman he used and abused, pleads with the divine to spare him. The eternal feminine redeems him. Plucked from the arms of Mephistopheles, the divine swoops in and saves Faust from himself, from fulfilling the terms of his bargain.

Faust got his cake and ate it, too. No lessons learned. No responsibility for choices or actions. No justice for all the people Faust used, exploited, ruined, and chucked away.

Redemption for a soulless man is a fine ending for an opera.

In real life, not so much.

Is there justice for all? Not according to the supreme court.

Is there justice for all? Not according to the voting public.

Is there justice for all? Not according to the republican party that twice refused to find him guilty when impeached. The evidence was clear for all to see and hear. It was broadcast across the world. And then, poof! Get out of jail free.

Is there justice for all? We’ll see on November 26 but I wouldn’t bet on it. I’m not a big believer in devils and gods but watching this horror-story-of-a-human-being repeatedly skate away from his crimes and ascend again to power is making me wonder. This time around, he can pillage with court-granted-immunity. Mephisto-Impunity.

It has made me wonder if Mephistopheles is giggling at the possibility of a much bigger score: the despot-elect might just help him walk away with the soul of our nation.* It is, I suspect, the terms of their bargain.

*We are a nation of laws. Justice for all is not simple rhetoric. It is the the north-star of our nation.

Or at least it used to be.

read Kerri’s blogpost about JUSTICE FOR ALL

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Our National Meme [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

This weekend while I was busy elevating Neil Postman to prophet status I realized I was also putting to rest a debate that began with my business partner during the dawn of social media. Her contention was that meaningful relationships were possible over social media. I held – and still hold – now more than ever – the opposite view. Our latest election is all the proof I needed.

Meaningful relationships are complex. They require time. They require presence – slowing down and paying attention. Listening. They are expansive as well as intricate. They are investments in the other.

The medium is the message. Social media is reductive. It is immediate. It does not slow down, rather, it speeds us up. It affords only simplistic exchanges. It’s great for memes, for sharing photos, for updates. It is self-centered. It is limited in characters and increasingly relies on emojis. It is a great medium for the superficial, the tit-for-tat. Jabs. Clever comebacks. And, if you don’t like what you are hearing, a touch of a button unfriends the annoyance. No investment required.

Social media has become our public square.

Our ease of unfriending creates information eddies, impenetrable echo chambers. We sort to bubbles of agreement with nary a nod to fact or uncomfortable truth. We do not have to listen to each other since insulting and negating each other is within the reduction-capacity of the medium while listening, questioning, discussing and debating is not.

Our medium inhibits complicated in-depth conversations or layered debate of ideas which, in-turn, inhibits fact-based conversation while promoting gossip, conspiracy, accusation and misinformation. I am haunted by a piece Kerri included in her Smack-Dab post on Saturday:

“…Catherine Rampell and Youyou Zhou of the Washington Post showed before the election that voters overwhelmingly preferred Harris’s policies to Trump’s if they didn’t know which candidate proposed them.  An Ipsos/Reuters poll from October showed that voters who were misinformed about immigration, crime, and the economy tended to vote Republican, while those who knew the facts preferred Democrats. Many Americans turn for information to social media or to friends and family who traffic in conspiracy theories. As Angelo Carusone of Media Matters put it: “We have a country that is pickled in right-wing misinformation and rage.”  (heather cox richardson – american historian, professor of history – boston college, previously MIT, university of massachusetts amherst )

The info-bubbles generated by our social-media-public-square are fortresses. Inside the walls we are capable of demonizing the other, ramping up our rage, but are incapable of promoting or encouraging the sharing of policy ideas, a comprehensive discussion of competing visions for the nation’s future, the character of the candidates, the possible impact to other nations and the ramifications of our choice…

The info-river is fast-moving and keeps flowing with little or no regard to the worth or truth of the information it carries. Not only are we pickled in misinformation and easily distracted, we are also incapable of tracking the tsunami of information that washes over us each day. We scroll and forget. Our attention span is a long as what rolls through our screen.

The voters of this nation have forgotten the train wreck of the despot-elect’s first time in office. “Trump’s own staffers, subordinates, and allies frequently characterized Trump as infantile…The number and scale of Trump’s statements in public speeches, remarks, and tweets identified as false by scholars, fact-checkers, and commentators were characterized as unprecedented for an American president, and even unprecedented in U.S. politics.”

“In the 2018 presidential rankings by the Siena College Research Institute, Trump ranked as the third-worst president in history. C-SPAN’s 2021 President Historians Survey ranked Trump as the fourth-worst president overall and the worst in the leadership characteristics of Moral Authority and Administrative Skills.”

Trump ranked last in both the 2018 and 2024 surveys of the American Political Science Association Presidents and Executive Politics section, with self-identified Republican historians ranking Trump in their bottom five presidents.

And so, we willingly walk behind the mule for a second time. There is nothing new to be learned except perhaps how damaging or fatal a second kick will be. Maybe, just maybe, if our democracy survives, we will have learned to stop tweeting at each other and step into a real public square for our most important conversations. I know, I know. I’m an idealist.

I have a suggestion for our new national meme: “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.”

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE SECOND KICK

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