Epicenters of Mattering [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

If you asked me why we write I would tell you that it is because of Lydia. After reading my post Arrive, she must have sensed my low spirits and took the time to comment: Perhaps you have already arrived. Breathe. Feel the awe. In every moment. It is because of Alex who reads what I write everyday and bothers to let me know. Buffalo Bob. A simple like, telling me, “I am out here and what you write matters to me.”

Writing is a relationship like painting is a relationship like music is a relationship. It’s a dynamic feedback loop. A younger me would have told you that the impulse to create is internal; the current version of me wonders if there really is any such separation as internal and external. There is no actor without an audience, no writer without a reader. It’s a matter of mattering. To each other. Ultimately, the artist imperative is to share. It is hard to explain. Ours is essential. It is urgent. It is undeniable. It is an inner necessity – a word that I do not use lightly. To deny it would be to die – a statement that I do not offer lightly. Yet, without an audience, a reader, there would be no point.

We recently asked Rob his thoughts about how to get our words beyond our bubble. We love our bubble, our community of dedicated readers and listeners. However, the changes in the world of arts-as-a-business have made the work we were once paid for free for all takers. Although technology brings our words and music and art to audiences all over the world, it has also left us financially insecure. It’s an oddly mixed message of mattering. So many listeners and readers, so few pennies. Rob and others have been knocking on our noggins to open a Patreon membership. It’s taken awhile for us to embrace the realities of this brave new world.

Networks and relationships. Worth. Value. Mattering. Each of us an epicenter with lines of connection running in all directions. Sharing. Giving. Asking. So very appreciative of a “thumbs up,” so deeply moved when our words come back at us with a loving reminder to Feel the Awe. Breathe.

read Kerri’s blogpost about NETWORKS

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Marking Time [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

Marking time. I stood at the large window and looked at the crowd queueing to enter the concert hall. The evening promised a blast from the past, greying seniors reaching back to touch their youth, aging bodies dressed as they might have dressed 30 years ago – and loving it. Remembering. Posing for pictures. Then and now.

It was a birthday experience, a gift. The Queen tribute band – One Vision of Queen with Marc Martel. Close your eyes and you’d think you were present with Freddie Mercury, Brian May, John Deacon, Roger Taylor… It was hard not to be catapulted back to 1980. Where were you when you first heard Bohemian Rhapsody? I knew exactly. It was visceral. I remember thinking, “What’s this?”

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see…

As time machines go, this was a great one. All the aging bodies danced and clapped, perhaps with a little less flexibility and grace but no less enthusiasm. Marking-the-time. Gratitude rippled up and down the aisles for this music that defined, informed, enriched and transported. There and back.

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?

read Kerri’s blogpost about QUEEN

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And What If… [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

A message of encouragement. A reminder of hope. I appreciate the sentiment yet, perhaps it is too revealing of my personality or my attitude of late, my first thought was, “And what if it isn’t figureoutable?”

What of the paradoxes and mysteries of life? Why do people do what they do? War? Hate? Lie? Can we figure out how not to horde resources? Can we figure out how to live this simple-yet-central word: equality. And what about caring?

I delight in the James Webb telescope looking deep into the galaxy to help us explain… I delight in our deep dive into the genome in our pursuit of healing and body-explanations. I marvel at psychology and brain science and… We sail at the horizon on all fronts. To know what is beyond is beautifully human.

Poets help us touch the universal. Dancers imbue us with grace. More than once, knowing there is no answer, I have asked a performer, “How do you do that?” I have asked myself, “Why did I weep at that moment in the story?” I knew it was coming…

Kerri and I have our share of dilemmas. I spend the majority of my days trying to figure them out. As if my action will create a solution. Sometimes it does. I’ve figured out how to keep our 50 year old stove going. There’s a piece I need to install in the refrigerator so it stops “tinkling” on the kitchen floor. I’m certain I can figure it out.

Sometimes I have no clue. I do not know how to fix her broken wrists. I do not know how to ease her troubled heart.

I do not know what to say when Dan sighs, “I don’t like growing old.” I don’t either but I am learning that the older I grow, the greater I appreciate. It’s a sentiment I heard from the elders who preceded me but I paid little attention. I thought, when young, that there was plenty of time for appreciating.

I know that good times, just like bad times, come and go so it’s best not to hold either too tightly. Last night, on an evening that was unseasonably warm, the house blocking the gusty winds, we sat on the deck, sipped wine and watched the dogga run, the birds enjoy the birdbath, the moths swirl, the chimes play the wind, the peonies reach for the sky, the sun disappear leaving subtle pastel traces…

How can I love so much? Last night, I wanted no part in trying to figure it out.

read Kerri’s blogpost about FIGUREOUTABLE

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Trouble Love [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

In a surprise twist, Dogga now answers to the name, “Trouble”. It could that in his old age his alter ego is ascendant.

He’s always had two distinct personalities. During the daylight hours, in constant movement, running endless circles, we call him “Crazy Boy”. At night, he is distinctly different, calm and quiet; we call him “Sweet Boy”.

I can’t recall how we discovered his alter ego. One minute he was Crazy Boy and the next he was responding to Kerri’s call, “Trouble!” We performed a specificity-check and called him other names. He rolled his eyes and refused to respond. “Here Trouble!” brought an immediate running-wag-a-wag response. “I think his name is Trouble!” she said.

“What took us so long?” I asked.

We wondered if originally Farmer Don called him Trouble, and perhaps, after 11 years, we were just discovering his real name. Farmer Don needed to find a home for him and no one wanted him because he was, unusual for an Aussie puppy, mostly black. We imagined Farmer Don saying, “You’re my little Trouble-Dog!”

These days Dogga né Trouble complains when he doesn’t get his way. He groans (like me) when he lifts himself from the floor. He snores at night. He licks the achy joints on his front legs. He is, no matter his name, our Trouble, our Crazy Boy, our Sweet Boy, our Dogga-Dog. We are infinitely richer for the daily sweet trouble that he brings us.

read Kerri’s blogpost about TROUBLE

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A Pretty Good List [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

Two years ago the ice-maker in our fridge stopped working. Our informal poll of fellow fridge owners has confirmed what we suspected: the ice-maker is always the first thing to go. And, since a repair of the ice-maker would actually cost more than the original price of the refrigerator, we have gone old-school and make our ice in trays. Sometimes, when we’re feeling really outlandish, we buy our ice in bags.

This is not a terrible inconvenience. I do not have to go down to the lake in winter and saw out blocks of ice nor do I have to haul the blocks uphill to the ice house and cover them with sawdust. The refrigerator is still capable of making ice; it just requires some participation on our part. And, it couldn’t be easier since we have running water piped directly into the house! From the magic spigot at the sink, I pour the water into the plastic tray and work on my balancing skills as I carry the water-filled tray to the freezer. In about an hour the water is transformed. Ice!

On a recent foray into an antique store we came across the metal ice-cube-trays used by our parents from the time prior to plastics. Kerri chimed, “I remember those from when I was growing up!” and, always the musician, starting making the symphony of sounds produced when the metal handle lifts, cracks and separates the cubes before dumping them into the bowl. She spun her musical rendition into a rhythmic wonder complete with an ice-tray dance. I know deep inside she was working on the lyrics and, had we not been in public, I would have been audience to a completely imagined, fully composed ice-cube-tray-song.

So, topping my list of gratitudes for the day: I saw the inception of an ice-cube song borne of a childhood memory. There was also an enthusiastic spontaneous ice-tray-dance that made me laugh out loud . I have water that comes directly into my house, and a cold box that is capable of making ice if I want it. I do not have to go down to the lake to cut and haul ice as my ancestors did. All-in-all, it’s a pretty good list!

read Kerri’s blogpost about ICE CUBE TRAYS

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All The Way To The Skin [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

The fortune read, “Sprinkles of joy will shower upon you in unexpected ways.” She stared at in disbelief. It was a whispered reinforcement from an old friend. A much needed affirmation of good things to come.

For me it brought a memory: she was introducing me to Lake Geneva. We were just getting to know each other. The skies opened suddenly and dumped buckets of rain on us. We laughed and laughed, ducking into a doorway for some cover. We were soaked and giddy. Showers of joy came upon us in unexpected ways. So much joy showered us that we had to put towels on the seats of the car to protect the upholstery.

Last night, walking by the cemetery, we talked about the hillside covered in headstones. “These were people with voices and dreams and desperation. Lives.” I said. “Like us. They had just so many days on earth. These stones for me are not an abstraction.” She agreed. We must not waste our precious days lost in the weeds. Railing against the weather.

When the deluge comes, it’s best to hold hands, turn into it, and laugh. Joy may sometimes come in sprinkles but for us it usually arrives in buckets that soak us all the way to the skin.

read Kerri’s blogpost about JOY

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Take Time [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

“Take time to see the quiet miracles that seek no attention.” ~ John O’Donohue

We donned our heavy vests, stepped into our Uggs and winter boots, pulled the Adirondack chairs into the spot of sun bathing the edge of the patio. The house served to block the chill breeze, more winter than spring. Like sinking into a warm soothing bath after a hard day’s labor, we sank into our chairs, faces to the sun, moaned. The rays of the sun reached all the way to our bones. We’d dreamed of this moment for months and the reality was so much better than our imagining.

Those same rays are calling forth the wild geranium at the base of Barney, the piano. The day lilies are reaching through the crusty soil and dead leaves. The bunny is again in residence though this time her nest is beneath the deck. Dogga’s nose relentlessly investigates her trail but he has yet to catch a sight of her. We keep a watchful eye for the appearance of her babies.

The squirrels empty the bird feeder in a matter of hours. They are incredible acrobats, ninjas. Were I a jewel-thief-in-the-movies I would study squirrels. The birds gather at the base of the feeder pecking the leftovers from the squirrel raid. “It should be the other way around,” I say. “Birds at the feeder, squirrels at the base.”

“Will you refill it anyway,” she asks, already knowing my answer. I smile. The order of things is of no concern to her. She delights in the critter antics no matter how they play out in the yard.

She squeezes my hand. Small miracles abound. I settle back into my sun-warmed chair grateful that we take time to see them.

read Kerri’s blogpost about SUN IN THE YARD

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Amor Fati [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

A week ago there was snow. It came and went like a sacred Tibetan sand painting: between the initial pristine white blanket and its rapid disappearance, it passed through several glorious configurations. My favorite was the field of pocks sculpted by drips falling from eaves and branches. Nature is both an excellent painter and a sculptor.

An old friend sent us a message on Kerri’s birthday. “Don’t let the old woman and old man in.” We are lucky, we have young spirits and are given to exploration and play. Nevertheless, I took the message to heart, though with a subtle modification. I altered the message to eliminate the resistance. Rather than erect a fortress against aging, I want to feed the spirit in my life-sand-painting. I want to appreciate all the phases and beauty along the way as nature sculpts me. Amor fati. Love your fate. Love your face. Love your spirit and the day in which it dances.

read Kerri’s blogpost about SNOW POCKS

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My Wise-Eyes [David’s blog on KS Friday]

We were awake in the middle of the night. I don’t mind these doughnut holes in our sleep because we tend to have heart-to-heart chats. In the dark hours we reach deep into reflection and yearning. We ponder. Last night we talked about our writing. The differences in our styles, what we have learned from each other, how we are becoming better-and-better writers because we write side-by-side, share our work and edit each other.

Every artist needs a person to view or read their work who is completely honest. No energy need be spent protecting the artist-ego. In the theatre that person is called “wise-eyes.” And, in order to take full advantage of the wise-eyes, the artist needs to have open-ears capable of hearing honest reflection. It’s a relationship of deepest trust: “Tell me what you think, see, hear…” Wise-eyes are hard to come by.

Last night, as we talked, I was suddenly overwhelmed by my good fortune: we can – and do – talk about anything. I trust her feedback and insights implicitly. She has my best interests at heart and I have hers. And so we grow. I married my wise-eyes.

The gorgeous shock of dried flowers against an impressionist’s blue sky. I would never see this image were I to walk on my own. And that’s the point. She has me opening my eyes to look at the world in ways that do not come naturally to me. Paradoxically expanding my view to include the close-in, the detail. My head is usually in the esoteric clouds. My wise-eyes-wife is teaching me to also look down, to plant my feet on the ground, to (as she says) “gear-down”. To challenge my idea of what comes naturally. I am becoming a much better artist for it.

Untitled Interlude/Released From The Heart © 1995 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora and iHeart Radio

read Kerri’s blogpost about DRIED FLOWERS AND BLUE SKY

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Belonging [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

It’s hard not to imagine the light-circles dancing on the far wall as a visitation of spirits. Ancestors or angels come to check-in, to let us know that we are not outside but within the circle of their warm embrace.

Last year Kate took us to a cemetery where many of our ancestors are buried. It was a revelation. Although right along the road, this graveyard was hard to find. It was hard to see. Yet, once inside, it opened wide; a bluff overlooking cornfields. As we walked from stone to stone, she told us what she knew of the life of each person. Of how we are connected.

I felt rooted in that place, surrounded by those lives. Like the light-circles dancing on the wall I felt inside the warm embrace. That’s a rare feeling for me.

Many years ago I had a casual conversation with a psychic. I told her that I didn’t feel as if I belonged anywhere and she laughed. “Belonging is not an issue,” she smiled but did not elaborate. Standing on that grassy knoll on a warm Iowa day, the psychic’s words came back to me. Belonging is not an issue.

Belonging is a word with both a horizontal and a vertical plane. There’s the circle that is seen. There is the circle that is felt. There is the circle of warm embrace that is today. There is the greater circle that reaches back and back and back. Those are the light-dancers, the surprise visitors who, on a sunny morning, show up for a moment or two, twinkling to remind us that all is well. We can rest easy knowing that, no matter what, we are and always will be surrounded by their love.

an oldie: Embrace, acrylic

read Kerri’s blogpost about MAGIC LIGHT

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