How We Fit [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

Yesterday it rained all day. We tossed out our plan-for-the-day and decided to hunker down at home. After cleaning everything that was possible to clean in the house, we turned our attention to the Enneagram. Kerri already knew her number. During his visit, she and Dwight compared notes and learnings. He not only knows his number but studies the Enneagram. I listened to their enthusiastic conversation but could not participate because I was ignorant of my number. They each had notions of where I would fall in the 9 types but refused to offer their suspicions; they did not want to unduly sway my discovery. Now, after a rainy day inquiry that included a test and some text queries with our chief-Enneagram-informant, I am certain of my number. The core character traits described in my number fit me like a too tight glove. “No wonder!” I sighed more than once while reading the narrative on my type.

We had fun during our rainy day pursuit. We read about ourselves and the compatibility of our respective numbers, the potential trouble-spots and issues. We laughed when reading general descriptions that might have been written specifically about us.

The exercise sent me down a rabbit hole. I wondered at the real-desire to type ourselves into a connected system. What makes the Enneagram or astrology any more or less valid and valuable than the minute marketing data that tracks my movements, my interests, my purchasing patterns and types me into a neat predicable category? Boomer. GenX. Progressive. Liberal. Conservative. Extrovert/Introvert…Judging/Perceiving. Survey upon survey. Sacred numbers. Archetypes. Where do I fit? Where do you fit? It’s a layer-cake of association. The rabbit hole? In a nation that is so hell-bent on defining itself as divided, irreconcilable in our differences, we are – on a much deeper level than the political – intensely interested in how we fit together in the web.

Scrape a layer off the noise. On the next rainy day, sit on your raft (bed) and take note of how much energy you and your world-o-technology are investing in weaving a greater web of interconnectivity. Pay attention beyond the toxic rhetoric of the stream and you just might see that we are, as a species and as a nation, much more interested in how we fit than how we are irrevocably broken.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE SHADOWS

like. share. comment. subscribe. support. thank you!

Beyond Words [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

Sometimes the obvious is hard to write about. A heart path. A heart on the path. My mind jumped to the easiest association: a heart path is a metaphor for a spiritual life. Despite the countless tomes written across cultures and through the ages, including the current river of memes flowing across our screens, a spiritual life is impossible to wrap in words. Yet we have a long and complex history of trying.

I have friends who are Buddhist, friends who are Christian, friends who are Jewish, friends who are Muslim. I’ve spent time with Hindu priests and I’ve been introduced to the Tao. As they say, many paths, one destination. Heart paths, all. It is worth remembering that no single path is better or worse than any other. As Joseph Campbell suggested, religions are vehicles. A ride share.

A spiritual path need not require a deity or a book of rules. As Kerri says, “If it’s not about kindness it’s not about anything.” Kindness is an expression of the heart. Kind-heartedness. Warm-heartedness. Tender-heartedness. A heart path invokes this quality: selflessness. Deities and rulebooks can be twisted, human-made as they are, to serve un-kind, selfish intentions. Stoke divisions. Division is the opposite of a heart path. Kindness is an expression of unity.

A heart is a good symbol for the path because we all have one – every single one of us. Skin color, cultural orientation, systems of belief, sexual identity…do not alter the simple fact: we have hearts in common. Many hearts (plural) reaching for the single shared heart. One heart (singular).

Transcendent.

read Kerri’s blogpost about HEART ON THE PATH

like. comment. support. share. subscribe. many thanks.

Where [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

Where to now? It’s the ever-present-topic of conversation.

On our recent trip to the mountain, we speculated. What was going to happen? What did we want to happen? What did we hope or fear would happen? Supposition is a kind of storytelling. Building a container for the unknown.

On the way home we recounted what happened. We discussed the gems, the surprises. We talked of the special moments that we anticipated and the hard moments that we predicted. We reveled in the fulfillment of intention, a visit to the sanctuary, a return to the stream. Narrating our experiences is a kind of storytelling. Sense-making. Building a container for the known.

Both types of container are too small. There is only so much anticipation that can be held. There is infinite sense to be made so story choices are necessary: what goes into the container and what must be let go? How will I make meaning of what just happened? And what does that mean for the next container of supposition that we must build?

They are connected questions. Where have I been? Where to now? Of necessity, despite all expectation, neither question ever arrives at an answer.

read Kerri’s blogpost about STORIES

support. like. share. subscribe. comment. thank you.

Enter Happiness [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

The day brought to mind Avalon, the mythical island hidden from sight by the spells of the wise women who rule there or perhaps by charms cast by King Arthur’s sister, Morgaine. It is where Arthur was taken after he was gravely wounded in battle. To heal or to die. It depends on which version of the legend that you read. As I watched her take the picture I wondered if Avalon could pop-up off the coast of Lake Michigan. If it can be spelled and disappear from sight it certainly can be spelled to appear wherever Morgaine chooses. Magic is magic. Possibility is open-ended until doubt or belief renders it otherwise.

While I was studying the photo, pondering what I might write, Kerri played a song by John Denver. I didn’t recognize it and looked over her shoulder. It was the last song he wrote before he died. Yellowstone (Coming Home). He did not know it would be his last song. He had no expectation of dying on the day his plane dropped from the sky into the ocean. I have sometimes wondered what would be my last painting or the final piece I might write. In my imagining, I always know. “This is the last,” I think and set down my brush, one more step in preparing to enter the mist.

I read somewhere that the real key to happiness is to lose your self-importance. It’s counter-intuitive in a culture that identifies through individual achievement. Climbing the ladder. Top dog. Happiness as a by-product of achievement and possession. Yet, it seems simple if you think about it. Happiness, not as an acquisition but as as an aspect of presence. Happiness enters when we are present in our moment and, in order to actually be present in the moment, the eyes and heart and mind need to let go of the desire to be other places, future or past. Happiness finds us when enough is truly enough and everything else, all the imagined importance, the yearning and the lack, disappear into the fog of time’s illusion.

read Kerri’s blogpost about FOG

like. share. comment. subscribe. support. thank you!

Marking Time [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

Marking time. I stood at the large window and looked at the crowd queueing to enter the concert hall. The evening promised a blast from the past, greying seniors reaching back to touch their youth, aging bodies dressed as they might have dressed 30 years ago – and loving it. Remembering. Posing for pictures. Then and now.

It was a birthday experience, a gift. The Queen tribute band – One Vision of Queen with Marc Martel. Close your eyes and you’d think you were present with Freddie Mercury, Brian May, John Deacon, Roger Taylor… It was hard not to be catapulted back to 1980. Where were you when you first heard Bohemian Rhapsody? I knew exactly. It was visceral. I remember thinking, “What’s this?”

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see…

As time machines go, this was a great one. All the aging bodies danced and clapped, perhaps with a little less flexibility and grace but no less enthusiasm. Marking-the-time. Gratitude rippled up and down the aisles for this music that defined, informed, enriched and transported. There and back.

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?

read Kerri’s blogpost about QUEEN

comment. like. support. share. subscribe. many thanks!

Drink It Up [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

Although they are rare, yesterday we had what Kerri calls “a very negative day”. It was so pronounced that while out on the trail we made fun of ourselves, “What else can we be negative about?” she chirped.

“I don’t know but I’m sure there’s something!”

As usual, following a very negative day, I was awake most of the night having a chat with myself. “What was that about?” I asked. A question, I know, with no answer. Some days simply go off the rails. Still, the question has to be asked.

What I appreciate about my particular orientation to the world is that, instead of an answer, I never arrive at answers, a song floated to the top. Something better than an answer. Something more immense than a solution. A heart-call rather than a mind-pleaser. Like a poem. Last night, the deep response to my discord, was Danny’s Song, by Jim Messina:

Love the girl who holds the world in a paper cup
Drink it up
Love her and she’ll bring you luck
And if you find she helps your mind
Better take her home, home, yeah
Don’t you live alone
Try to earn what lovers own

I lay in bed through the dawn, listening to the birds awake and sing, the chimes call me to presence, feeling the cool morning breeze through the windows, knowing in my bones that I have absolutely nothing to complain about. Not really.

And even though we ain’t got money
I’m so in love with you, honey
And everything will bring a chain of love, oh, oh, oh
In the morning, when I rise
You bring a tear of joy to my eyes
And tell me everything is gonna be alright

Better than an answer: “love the girl who holds the world in a paper cup.” I do. “Drink it up.” I am. “And in the morning when I rise/ You bring a tear of joy to my eyes/ And tell me everything is gonna be alright.”

It is a new day.

read Kerri’s blog post about CHOCO-FACE

like. share. support. subscribe. comment. thank you!

Trouble Love [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

In a surprise twist, Dogga now answers to the name, “Trouble”. It could that in his old age his alter ego is ascendant.

He’s always had two distinct personalities. During the daylight hours, in constant movement, running endless circles, we call him “Crazy Boy”. At night, he is distinctly different, calm and quiet; we call him “Sweet Boy”.

I can’t recall how we discovered his alter ego. One minute he was Crazy Boy and the next he was responding to Kerri’s call, “Trouble!” We performed a specificity-check and called him other names. He rolled his eyes and refused to respond. “Here Trouble!” brought an immediate running-wag-a-wag response. “I think his name is Trouble!” she said.

“What took us so long?” I asked.

We wondered if originally Farmer Don called him Trouble, and perhaps, after 11 years, we were just discovering his real name. Farmer Don needed to find a home for him and no one wanted him because he was, unusual for an Aussie puppy, mostly black. We imagined Farmer Don saying, “You’re my little Trouble-Dog!”

These days Dogga né Trouble complains when he doesn’t get his way. He groans (like me) when he lifts himself from the floor. He snores at night. He licks the achy joints on his front legs. He is, no matter his name, our Trouble, our Crazy Boy, our Sweet Boy, our Dogga-Dog. We are infinitely richer for the daily sweet trouble that he brings us.

read Kerri’s blogpost about TROUBLE

subscribe. support. like. share. comment. many thanks!

Secret Sauce [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

The Des Plaines river spilled out onto the flood plain. The trees, not at all surprised, rose tall through the murky water in this yearly ritual of spring. “Has it ever been so high?” she asked. I shrugged.

We walked the path. It mostly rose above the waterline. With water lapping on both sides, the trail sometimes resembled a bridge. A crystal clear day teased forward the colors of the birch and grasses. The world was vibrant and strange. We had the sense that we were walking in another dimension. Second attention; alternate reality.

The beaver tree made more dynamic by its reflection in the water stopped us in our tracks. Were I judging sculpture in nature’s competition, this would be a clear winner. The massive tree, already tipped and chipped at a precarious angle, compounded by the image mirrored in the river overflow gave the illusion of a sphere without roots and heightened the tension of the unstable tree. Weebles wobble and, despite their reputation, sometimes they fall down.

Creative tension. The secret sauce of all good art. Between the river challenging its boundaries, the trail snaking and in danger of disappearing, the vibrant color teased forward by the sun’s eclipse, and the good work of an aesthetic beaver with the notable assistance of the water’s reflection, this walk was as artistically rich, inspiring and refreshing as any day I’ve spent in a gallery.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE TREE

like. share. support. subscribe. comment. thank you!

Take Time [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

“Take time to see the quiet miracles that seek no attention.” ~ John O’Donohue

We donned our heavy vests, stepped into our Uggs and winter boots, pulled the Adirondack chairs into the spot of sun bathing the edge of the patio. The house served to block the chill breeze, more winter than spring. Like sinking into a warm soothing bath after a hard day’s labor, we sank into our chairs, faces to the sun, moaned. The rays of the sun reached all the way to our bones. We’d dreamed of this moment for months and the reality was so much better than our imagining.

Those same rays are calling forth the wild geranium at the base of Barney, the piano. The day lilies are reaching through the crusty soil and dead leaves. The bunny is again in residence though this time her nest is beneath the deck. Dogga’s nose relentlessly investigates her trail but he has yet to catch a sight of her. We keep a watchful eye for the appearance of her babies.

The squirrels empty the bird feeder in a matter of hours. They are incredible acrobats, ninjas. Were I a jewel-thief-in-the-movies I would study squirrels. The birds gather at the base of the feeder pecking the leftovers from the squirrel raid. “It should be the other way around,” I say. “Birds at the feeder, squirrels at the base.”

“Will you refill it anyway,” she asks, already knowing my answer. I smile. The order of things is of no concern to her. She delights in the critter antics no matter how they play out in the yard.

She squeezes my hand. Small miracles abound. I settle back into my sun-warmed chair grateful that we take time to see them.

read Kerri’s blogpost about SUN IN THE YARD

share. like. support. subscribe. comment. thank you.

Deal In Imagination [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

“The imagination is not a state: it is the human existence itself.” ~ William Blake

I think a lot about artists that were influential but financially unsuccessful. The list is much longer than you might imagine. Most artists fit into that category. William Blake shook the cultural foundations but died a pauper. Mozart. Van Gogh. Artists that are successful according to our recognized standard are the exception and not the rule. Thankfully, there is an imperative that reaches deeper than money. A need to create. A need to come together. There is a resonance that we recognize with the currency of genuine appreciation.

Occasionally I revisit a book by Wayne Muller, How Then Shall We Live. It’s about giving meaning to life, bringing purpose to it as opposed to finding purpose in it. Although Wayne Muller might not recognize it, his book is about imagination. Imagination is what we bring to life (yes, a double entendre). Imagination is where we create our purpose. We imagine ourselves whole.

Wander your neighborhood for an hour and comprehend the truth that everything you see sprang from someone’s imagination. The plumbing and electrics, the structures and finishes; someone, somewhere, imagined it before it came into three dimensions. Form and function chasing each other. Someone imagined how to make life easier or prettier or more secure. We are a rolling anthill of roiling imagination. We might think our imagination is self-serving but even the most dedicated expressionist needs an audience to fulfill their purpose. No one throws paint on a canvas or dances on a stage without imagining the witness of others. The moving of spirits to join together. No one builds a road so they alone can drive on it.

Look around. Imagination is abundant. The paper napkins are designed. The silverware is crafted. In our old house, the wood floors were laid by someone who cared about their work; caring is a function of imagination.

So is remembrance; my wild imagination loves to toy with the past: this is how I remember it! This is how I’d like to remember it.

When I am lost and afraid, like you, I imagine myself warm at home. It keeps we walking.

Artists deal in imagination and, so, are stewards of a special kind of riches: the power to bring even the most lost heart back to itself, the power to bring a room full of dedicated strangers into a single shared story.

read Kerri’s blogpost about FLOWERS

like. share. subscribe. support. comment. we thank you.