Posted on August 19, 2023 by davidrobinsoncreative
A lot of love and attention goes into Kerri’s garden. It may be small but it is a mighty source of pleasure and satisfaction.
I’ve found that there is no better antidote for feeling defeated in the world than taking a break and smelling the basil. OMG. The lavender makes me close my eyes and smile. The mint clears my mind. The tomatoes fill us with hope and renewal as we daily cheer them into existence.
What goes around, comes around. So much love and attention goes in to her garden and what comes around, what comes back to us, is nothing less than a miracle. Smells and tastes that affirm how great it is to be alive. Tastes and smells that can turn a dark day into something brilliant.
Posted on August 18, 2023 by davidrobinsoncreative
We almost turned around. From the path we could hear the large earth movers rolling up and down the beach. “They’re working,” she said. “Why are they working? It’s the weekend!” Beyond the beach, massive cranes plucked unthinkably large stones from barges and placed them onto the breakwater. We decided to take a look. Maybe we could find a quiet spot at the far end of the beach. The day was scorching. We needed to put our feet in the water.
We stepped around the “Stay Out! Under Construction” sign. Considering who we’d call if arrested, we climbed the hill through the brush and tall grasses before emerging onto the beach. We stopped and laughed at what we saw. The far end of the beach was packed with people. A party boat was anchored just off shore. Jet skis parked at the shoreline. A family hauled in a barbeque. A man threw balls into the surf for his Goldens to retrieve.
“I guess we won’t be alone in the jail.” Our rogue fantasy blushed and vanished.
After wading in the water we spread our towels in a shady spot just beneath the weathered trees. We watched the massive machines construct the breakwaters, a tug boat deftly spun a rock laden barge into the queue. I wondered how the tiny boat could possibly move the massive barge.
Kerri lay back and shot photos of the clouds. She captured our sentinel tree in a few shots. One shot immediately brought to mind an early Georgia O’Keeffee painting. The Lawerence Tree. Georgia stayed at DH Lawerence’s ranch on a visit to New Mexico. At night she’d lay back on a bench beneath a huge pine tree. She painted what she saw. Google the painting and you’ll learn that there’s some confusion: what is the top of the painting? I prefer the trunk of the tree coming from “the top,” just as in Kerri’s photograph.
In the archive I have a few of those confusions. One painting in particular, Earth Interrupted VI, Kerri suggests that I painted it upside-down. “Green at the bottom. Blue at the top.” It’s not a unique problem. Many great masterworks spent decades on their heads before someone noticed and flipped them.
“It’s nice,” I said of her photograph. It perfectly captured the theme of the day. Upside-down. Expect solitude and find a crowd – yet in the shade we found sweet solitude. Believe you are going rogue only to discover you are merely one of the pack. The plan for the day fell apart and led us to the beach and this moment of rolling upside-down surprises. “I’m glad we did this,” I smiled, laying back to see what she saw, to wonder if I have ever really known which way is up.
Posted on August 17, 2023 by davidrobinsoncreative
“If I don’t brag I can’t complain,” she said, eyes sparkling. I howled with laughter. Wisdom from a soon-to-be 101 year old.
There’s nothing like a long life to strip the paint off an ego.
Her wisdom launched me into a thought-jag and made me wonder what a little time and maturity might bring to our yammering social media streams. Of LinkedIn a colleague recently said, “Everyone is selling. No one is buying.” Lots of bragging balanced by lots of complaining. Although it is moving fast, social media is still very, very young. A raucous kindergarten class. Me. Me. Me!
Kerri and I are not above it, of course. We are knee-deep in it. Each day we bemoan, “Oh, if only our readers would like or share our posts or music or cartoon or paintings…” The algorithm of “like” makes braggers and beggars of us all. It’s the road to increased attention which transmogrifies into words like “influencer” which promises dollars (with or without sense). (sorry. i couldn’t help myself;-) We don’t really want to be influencers but we do really want our work to support us – just like everyone else – so, a conundrum. In current reality, a full spectrum of bragging and complaining marks the road to increased notice.
Marshall McLuhan famously said, “The medium is the message.” Said another way, “…the content of any medium blinds us to the character of the medium.” Content need not have substance in a fast moving medium creating so many squeaky wheels seeking grease. Character (noun): mental and moral qualities… Through our current medium it is necessary to scream loud. No substance or moral quality is required to garner attention since garnering attention is the end-goal. Complain! Brag! Bang pots! Cry wolf! Blow whistles! Break news! Spread conspiracy! Lie loudly… Thumbs up. Angry face. Heart.
It brought again to my mind the question Susan asked last week, “When did kindness leave…” What I wish I’d said is, “It’s still there, it’s just runs deep beneath the noise.” Kindness has no need to compete with complaint for attention.
“How did it get to be the middle of August already?” Kerri asked, focusing her camera on the fading coneflowers. The day was hot. We were overwhelmed by our tasks so took a break and went for a walk.
“I don’t know,” I replied, trying to remember all that happened in June and July. There were so many life altering events for our friends and family. With no air in our sail, becalmed, time has lost much of its meaning.
Kerri showed me her photo. “I think I’ll call this one Waning Summer.” For us, there’s nothing to brag about so there’s nothing to complain about. Thank goodness. We sit solidly in the middle of the spectrum, knowing somewhere, running deep beneath the noise and moving very slowly, like kindness, runs a mighty river of gratitude.
Posted on August 16, 2023 by davidrobinsoncreative
It was the second time we’d walked the loop. The first was many months ago in another season. Though the path was the same it felt as if we were walking an entirely different trail. This time, instead of seeing across brown and yellow winter marshland, we walked through a tunnel of tall viridian reeds. Not able to see the landscape, I looked up through the green at a rain-threatening sky. If our first hike on the boardwalk felt like a discovery, the second pass seemed directed.
The second pass. In life it’s called a memory and it is never the same as the original walk. To begin, it is viewed from a different season. Time alters details, rearranges events, begs questions. The second pass is made with a different purpose-in-mind. To re-view. It is directed, replayed, questioned, run forward and backward. Different endings are tried on for size. Different beginnings, too. Destiny or accident? Did that really happen?
Plotting backward through memory provides ample sense-making. Event chains, choices, that lead to this place, this day, this story called life. Looking forward from the current first pass, this present walk, there is a wide open vista. What if I stepped off the path? Is there a path? It’s all discovery though we rarely experience it that way. The routine of the day or the master to-do-list obscures the newness of each and every step. Same-old-same-old is a sorry reckoning.
Kerri and I are having an ongoing conversation about how quickly and dramatically life can change. Just when you think you know what the day holds a strong wind huffs and puffs, forever altering the arc of your life. The tiniest of choices hold the seeds for the most profound changes. The boardwalk suddenly disappears. Or the opposite, when you are lost and least expect it, a boardwalk magically appears. In a flash a path seems certain.
And, isn’t it awe-some that we are capable of twice-storying this grande life adventure? Giving to each step a meaning and shape the very moment we take them. Giving to each step a different meaning and shape, over and over again, on the return loops, the second pass. Memory.
Posted on August 15, 2023 by davidrobinsoncreative
In the era when I was telling stories at conferences I liked to tell a particular tale of a woman on a quest. She didn’t know it but the many trials she faced on her journey gave her the exact knowledge she needed to confront her monster, complete her quest and return safely to her home. A field of shifting boulders. A dense impassable forest. A thicket of lost souls. She navigated all of them, learned from them, and returned home, changed by her experiences, wiser from her travails.
It’s most often the message in stories about quests. The journey changes us. We rarely understand the purpose or meaning of our passage until its conclusion. We only know we’ve changed after we arrive back from where we started. Then we can turn around and see.
Prior to the Brothers Grimm, there was no woodsman-savior in the tale of Little Red Riding Hood. A little girl sets out in life on a winding road to grandma’s house. It’s a metaphor. The little girl becomes an old woman. The wolf is metaphoric of time. The wolf “eats” all of us in the end. No woodsman can save us. No Hallmark ending is possible. What did Red experience on the way to grandma’s house?
It’s hard not to want to rush to the end. To know. There’s the fantastic story of the western businessman who wanted the Dalai Lama to tell him the secret of illumination so he could fast-track enlightenment, to achieve in a month-or-a-minute that which takes many lifetimes. Life lessons pay little attention to the demands of efficiency and effectiveness. Business, after all, is never just business.
Stages of development. Queen Anne’s lace. In its first year it is dedicated to sinking a taproot and developing a “rosette of basal leaves.” Creating a solid base. Only in the second year does it “send forth a flower stalk with blossoms.” It’s impossible to skip step one and arrive at blossoms. In truth, step one and step two are not really separate phases but are a single, gorgeous process of life’s renewal. I imagine that is what the Dalai Lama thought but did not say to the businessman.
In stories, the magic sword fails. Death knocks politely on the front door. The ogre stands in the path. The sphinx smiles and demands an answer. A young girl skips with Time along a winding road. A woman returns home, wiser from her experiences, changed by her journey.
Stories serve as universal maps, like taproots and basal leaves. They ground us. They can help us understand that the arrival we seek, the journey we take, is to ourselves. They can locate us on the winding road of life’s renewal.
Posted on August 14, 2023 by davidrobinsoncreative
At the end of the Everest documentary, The Fatal Game, Mark Whetu says, “It’s not that you are alive for such a short period of time, it’s that you are dead for so long.” It’s a film about waking up on the other side of grief. It’s a film about choosing to live.
Grief is one of the many colors on life’s palette. Had I bothered to read the small print in my handbook-for-living I suspect I’d have found a surprising number of references to suffering, sorrow, loss and fear. Colors on the palette necessary for an open heart. Essential colors for the full experience of living in the small window of time called “life”.
Last week I threw up my hands and sat down in defeat. “Lots of energy out. Nothing back!” I pouted, “What’s the point?” My self-pity lasted for an hour and then I stood up, realizing there was nothing to be done but take another step. It simply doesn’t matter how old I am or what I’ve done or haven’t done. It doesn’t matter what title I staple on top of my identity or what story I tell myself. My circumstance simply does not matter. The task remains the same. This day, I reasoned, is just as vibrant either way so, rather than bury my head in darkness, I might as well breathe deeply and enjoy the sun on my face.
Sometimes the only point is to take another step.
I am – apparently – a non-stick learner. I learn lessons over and over again. I am particularly gifted at allowing life’s lessons to slide off. I have been known to teach that the actions we need to take are rarely difficult; the stories we wrap around the actions can make any step seem impossible. Dialing the phone is easy until the mind rages with the tale, “I don’t want to look stupid.”
Effortless action is a Buddhist concept. It is a practice of acting without story. Know your target. Act. Respond.
Send a resume. Write a cover letter. Submit. Take another step.
Mix the color. Choose the brush. Spatter. Take another step.
Posted on August 12, 2023 by davidrobinsoncreative
We’re staying put this summer. Circumstance requires it though that hasn’t put a damper on our capacity to dream. “If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?” For us, it’s a daily game and fun to play.
Kerri and I are roadtrippers. New experiences feed our imaginations and our artistry. Kerri imagines composing with her piano firmly seated at the edge of the canyonlands. I imagine a series of artist-residencies providing stops along the way, taking us to beautiful places to create, stir the pot, meet new people, ignite ideas…
It’s a great dream. Our job, as we see it, one way or the other, is to bring it to life.
Posted on August 11, 2023 by davidrobinsoncreative
A Haiku
a scavenger bird.
opportunistic, seeker.
see! a gull am I!
The gulls congregate in the Kohls parking lot. We’re not sure why. It seems an unlikely spot for gulls to hang out. Hot pavement. No snacks. Cars coming and going. They camp en masse. Later in the day they exit in full voice and return to the marina. Make sense of that, I dare you!
Susan asked when caring-for-others left the building. I launched into a pedantic monologue that, even to me, sounded like the screech of a gull. Lots of noise, little helpful substance. Or, my diatribe mimicked the adults in a Charlie Brown special. Wah-wah, wah-wah. The sound of a preacher who thinks the path to deeper spirituality is through a map or a dry history lesson. A rule book. A witless shepherd caught lecturing the sheep. (baaaahhhhh)
I wondered what or who I might become if I dedicated myself to knowing nothing. What if I understood to my root that my opinion is just that…an opinion. Not a fact or a truth or blue-ribbon winner at the world-thought-fair. What if life needed no explanation?
What if there is no higher meaning to be found or greater mystery to be solved in the daily seagull pilgrimage to Kohls? What if, rather than seek a rationalization, I gave myself over to the wonder-of-it? What if Joseph Campbell had it right:
“People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive…”
Posted on August 10, 2023 by davidrobinsoncreative
I have favorite paintings. I do not love all of my children equally. Yet, to my great dismay, many of my most treasured pieces get nary a second look from viewers.
When I’m approached by someone interested in buying a painting, Kerri has an uncanny knack at predicting what painting the person will buy. Even if they approach us with a piece in mind, Kerri will squinch her nose and say, “They’re not going to buy that one. They want this one but they don’t know it yet.” She is almost always right.
In one famous case, I was about to destroy a painting and she stopped me. I disliked the painting to the point of embarrassment. “It’s gorgeous!” she cried. “Some one will want to buy that painting!” she insisted. I scoffed but let it live another day. Two months later the piece sold. “See…” she smiled, triumphant.
We’ve been hard at work reimagining and rebuilding my website. It’s coincided with the making and remaking of my resume. Two life reviews from diametrically opposed perspectives happening at the same time. That’s a lot of navel-gazing. I wanted to blend the site, make it a place to find my performance work, books, and organizational/coaching path. Kerri was adamant that I NOT do that. “Keep it pure,” she said. “You’ve done the other thing before so if you want it to be different, then do something different this time.”
For a time I was conflicted. In my moments of I’ll-never-work-again-panic I want to unload all of the possibilities on any potential employer. “I can do this, and this, and this, and this, too!” My my, aren’t I valuable.
We were walking our trail and I was embroiled in the inner debate when we stopped so Kerri could take a photograph of the flowers. Bright, beautiful, warm yellow sunburst from a dark brown center. They are what they are. No apology. No embellishment. No lobbying. Happy. They stopped us in our tracks. It was the Black-Eyed-Susans that convinced me that Kerri was right. Keep it pure. Keep it honest. Keep it simple.
“I am what I am,” I thought. Kerri is right. Mine is not to determine or argue for my value. Mine is to put my work out into the world as honestly and simply as I am able.
Some books sit idle on my shelf for years and then, one day, with no warning, they leap forward and demand to be read. And so it is with Vāclav Havel’s book Disturbing The Peace. It is my new 2-page-a-day-meditation-book. I’m only a few pages in but already finding the words of this playwright-become-president of the Czech Republic, published in 1991, speaking clear thoughts to the un-united-united-states of 2023.
“It seems to me that if the world is to change for the better it must start with a change in human consciousness, in the very humanness of modern man.”
The change in consciousness? It is this:
“He must discover again, within himself, a deeper sense of responsibility toward the world, which means responsibility toward something higher than himself.”
He writes that we must extricate ourselves from “the mechanisms of totality” and the “manipulation” of media. We must “rebel against [our] role as a helpless cog in the gigantic and enormous machinery hurtling god knows where.”
Climate change. Attempts to white-wash history rather than learn from it. Populism and a republican party dedicated to authoritarian rule rather than the democratic ideals they are sworn to uphold. The absence of a moral center and, to use a phrase from the past, common courtesy. Courtesy to the commons.
Vāclav Havel led his country through their great chaos, the tension of their divide, power struggles, and the collapse of repressive communism. He was an absurdist playwright. He did not pretend to have answers. He had abundant questions. He argued for the simplicity of confronting the tasks at hand, tasks that are the responsibility of all the people in a nation, tasks like honestly looking at and dealing with their full history. Tasks like turning away from anger-inducing propaganda, conspiracies and lies – and learning to discern what has merit and what does not. In other words, transcending individual-self-serving-belief-bubbles in order to realize and secure the higher ideals of the community.
Every book has its time. I find it extremely hopeful that this book chose this moment to jump off the shelf.
The Direction of Intention 