To Be Home [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Until I was 52 years old I did not know what the word “home” meant. I understood it abstractly, as an intellectual concept, as a hypothetical place of belonging…I just did not know what it felt like to be home. I was a wanderer.

I remember a moment, many years ago, when my pal Robert gave me some wise cautionary advice. I was footloose and flirting with a woman. He said, “Be careful. You don’t get involved with a woman like her unless you are ready to settle down.” I thought his caution was about the woman but later realized his wise words had nothing to do with her and everything to do with me. My friend knew me. I was restless. A wanderer.

There is more to the word “home” than a pin in a map. Google can give me directions to a location but can never show me the way home.

Home is the way Kerri and I start each day. It is different than the way others start their day, recognizable only to us and Dogga. Home is the tiny generosities that we offer each other, unique to us, unlike the considerations others offer their significant other. Home is knowing what she is feeling before she does. Home is sensing where she is in the house or in the world even when I cannot see her.

Home is knowing that she reads my mind and not minding.

I knew I was home the moment we met. I knew I was home when home had nothing at all to do with settling. I knew I was home when my wandering had a clear direction, a daily destination, a vibrant space between us that only we are capable of creating, a space that Google Maps or AI is incapable of finding or replicating or pinning down.

I now know what it feels like to be home and that feeling travels where ever we decide to wander.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE MAP

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Our Great Strength [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

“Food, in the end, in our own tradition, is something holy. It’s not about nutrients and calories. It’s about sharing. It’s about honesty. It’s about identity.” ~ Louise Fresco

On any given day, as a citizen of the United States of America, I can go eat at any number of restaurants. Among my choices are Chinese, Mexican, Irish, Ethiopian, Vietnamese Thai, Greek, Italian, Indian…It’s a wildly long and diverse list of options. It is also a living vibrant expression of the truth of our nation. We are diverse. We work hard. We have roots that reach into and across many, many cultural traditions. At our best we support and celebrate each other in the most basic of ritual: we gather around tables and share a meal. Despite the utter madness that the Stephen Millers of the world spew, the essential truth of our nation is hiding in plain sight. Take a walk down any city street. Open your eyes. Savor the diversity that defines us. e pluribus unum.

And, if that is lost on you, tune into the music and the musical traditions that the artists of this nation produce and represent.

Our great strength is our diversity. The Achilles Heel of our democratic experiment is the manipulation of our diversity. There is a long standing tradition of pitting us against each other and the color line makes for ease of manufactured division. It’s colonial crowd control. The most effective tool for keeping power over the diverse community is to fabricate an enemy within. While the masses are consumed with fighting with each other, the Epstein Class gets away with robbery, rape and murder. It has been this way since our inception as a nation.

Our Achilles Heel will kill us if we do not at long last learn that the division is concocted – and transcend it. We are made rich in our diversity. We need not white wash our history; we need to roll up our sleeves and learn from it. Black history* is white history and vice versa. If only we could sit at a table together and share a meal as family. Someday perhaps.

I’ve written about the day I met students at the International Center and led them across campus to develop a play in the theatre. I entered the building while they stopped abruptly as if they’d run into a wall of glass. Privilege is blind to itself and that was one of the many experiences that opened my eyes. They told me that they weren’t allowed to enter. Our play was about folk tales across culture and our first lesson together was about invisible barriers. Weeks later, after together we crossed the barrier, after they easily stepped across the threshold and began to make the theatre space their own, we shared sweet treats. I brought chocolate chip cookies. They brought sweet rice and cakes. We told stories about our sweet treats, love-filled memories of grandparents, holiday celebrations, family traditions. We laughed. We learned that our traditions, all though different on the surface, are about the same things.

We love. We honor family. We dream of opportunity and making better lives for ourselves and our children. We seek new experiences and believe in the power of kindness. We come together to share meals in a sacred place we create – and call home: The United States of America.

*It is February, the month that we traditionally celebrate Black History. Even though the current leadership of the nation is taking down plaques and removing exhibits from our museums, the truth remains. The history is explicit. The struggle continues. Celebrate Black History Month.

read Kerri’s blogpost about COOKIES

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A Popcorn Trail [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

The torrents of rain and tropical wind gusts paused momentarily to regroup, so we went out. She couldn’t wait to set foot on the dock. She needed – needed – to walk to the small pavilion at the far end. A shelter with benches and remembrance. Her memories called.

Many years ago I had a week all alone in my childhood home. I was writing my book and the empty house seemed like a perfect quiet retreat. Between writing sessions I walked. I literally felt pulled to revisit the places and pathways of my youth. I stood at the edge of the present and listened for the echoes of my past. It’s what she was doing as we slow-walked toward the pavilion: attuning to the resonance of her life.

Standing beneath the shelter, already drenched from the rain, the wind winding up for the next hard gust, she said, “I wrote a song here…” The story spilled from her in fragments and she reassembled the pieces. A small section of the puzzle came together.

The birthplace of a song. The birthplace of an artist. A tiny pavilion at the end of a dock. The place where a young woman composed music in her mind and left behind a bit of the song, a popcorn trail for an older woman to follow so that she might someday find her way home.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE PAVILION

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The Origin [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

“Fire is the origin of stone. By working the stone with heat, I am returning it to its source.” ~ Andy Goldsworthy

We journeyed to her place of origin. Circumstance rather than intention took her home.

We retraced the steps she took as a child. We sat at the spot in the harbor where she once wrote poetry and lyrics for songs. We retraced the streets and avenues where she once drove in her ’71 VW Beetle. We ate baked clams. We visited the beach that lives on as one of her sacred places. She told me stories of her life. Before.

After walking the beach, after gathering rocks and shells, we sat on a weathered bench and listened. We felt the power of the place. The tide was coming in. The gulls flew high and dropped clams, attempting to crack them open. The warmth of the fall day was tempered by the cool wind off the sound.

My job was to hold the silence.

She was communing – not only with this sacred place – the origin – but with the young girl who rode her bike to this beach half a century ago. She walked to the water’s edge looking for that girl. She reached back in time and held out her hand. The young girl, unsure of what the future might hold, cautiously opened her hand and accepted the offer.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE BENCH

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Brimming [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab]

I’m writing a few days ahead because we have a week of travel. As you read this we will be on a flight home, full of stories, new memories, refreshed spirits brimming with gratitude.

Just as we are excited about the adventure ahead we know there will be a moment in our travels when our focus shifts and we will turn our attention toward home. It’s one of the great gifts of travel: renewed appreciation for the known, coming home with new eyes that see the sweet comfort of routine. No doubt, the gratitude we are feeling at this very moment runs through the great gift of new experiences, brimming with utter appreciation for stepping back onto our well-worn path.

read Kerri’s blogpost about NEW EYES

smack-dab © 2025 kerrianddavid.com

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A Place Called “Home” [David’s blog on KS Friday]

“We need, in love, to practice only this: letting each other go. For holding on comes easily; we do not need to learn it.” ~ Rainier Maria Rilke

I’ve never been a big fan of the holidays. Most of my life I’ve lived far away from family. Most of my life I’ve been a wanderer, detached from any meaningful feeling of “home”. I’ve never been a believer in any religious tradition though I understand to my bones the deeply human necessity of celebrating the solstice, observing with ritual the return of the light. It’s mythic, this annual journey through the darkness and back into the light.

It’s an experience common to all people on earth. No matter the story wrapped around it – birth or rebirth or journey or emergence – the commemoration of light’s return springs from a shared human experience. Literally and in metaphor, our lives parallel the movement of our planet around the life-giving sun. Would that we could recognize our sameness instead of fight over our perceived differences!

As I’ve previously written, the moment I stepped into this house was the first moment in my life that I felt “home”. In my imagination I saw the word “home” written on the wall. As a dedicated wanderer it frightened me. Now, more than a decade later, I am grateful for the intense struggle the wanderer-in-me fought and lost to finally – finally – arrive home.

We decorate our house for the holiday over many days. It is a work in progress that is both intentional, improvisational and responsive. We discover as we go. This season, in a nation filling itself with darkness, we have more reason than ever to create a space in our home that celebrates the return of the light.

We are also learning, in the midst of this looming shadow, how to fill ourselves with light. How to let go. We are learning how to stand in a center of intentional light in the midst of the swirling darkness. We are more than ever understanding the necessary delineation between solid-center and fluid-circumstance, how to root in the center without grappling with the passing state of affairs.

As we clean out, as we practice letting go of our stuff, both literal and metaphoric, we also decorate. We create a beautiful space, simple and warm, a place called home, safe and solid, where we turn to the sky and witness the return of the light.

The Lights on the album of the same name © 1996 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blog post about DECORATING

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Coming Home [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Eleven years ago today, on a Monday, I was flying through Chicago en route to a job, but had scheduled a two day lay over to meet a woman named Kerri. We’d been writing daily emails to each other, an ongoing exchange that sprouted spontaneously six months earlier. During the flight I cautioned myself to have no expectations, to make no assumptions. And then I stepped off the plane…

It’s almost impossible to describe what happened over the following two days. I’ve written about how we laughed, held hands, and skipped out of the airport. I’ve told the story of climbing out the second story window onto the roof, wrapping in blankets against the cold, and sipping wine. Later, sitting before a fire, she read a short book that she’d written – a life chapter that she needed me to hear. She played her piano for me and I was stunned by the full-force-of-nature that came through this diminutive woman. That first night disappeared in a conversation that felt like a few moments; we were literally surprised by the birdsong announcing the dawn. What followed made day #1 seem like a warm-up band for the main event.

Kismet. When attempting to describe our first meeting I’ve used the word ‘mystical’ which is a word that I do not use lightly. It’s the only word that comes close to describing the 48 hours between my flights.

And, so, an anniversary: today is the day, after a lifetime of wandering, I felt for the very first time that I was finally coming home.

read Kerri’s blogpost about MAY 13th

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Heed The Stone [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Stones are markers.

When we wander the cemetery at the end of our street I sometimes see the headstones, not as location stones, but as boundaries-marked-in-time. Before. After. The leaping place of souls.

There are stones placed to indicate a borderline. I imagine the stone with the spray-painted message is one of those: beyond this point is the land of love. Who wouldn’t want to cross this border? Who wouldn’t want to step over this divide and wander in the frontier of love?

People stack stones to mark the way. To help others. To help themselves find the way home. Ease of passage.

This stone quietly standing along the bike trail does not call attention to itself. In fact, we’ve passed it many times and only just saw its message. Like a pictograph left by the ancients, someone-in-time felt compelled to leave a message on the path for others to see. A boundary in time? A borderline? A passage marker? An aspiration for travelers along this route?

Good choices, all.

read Kerri’s blogpost about the LOVE STONE

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A New Day [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

A new day.

Sometimes it takes a storm blowing through to make you realize what has value and what does not. The tornado takes the house, scatters the possessions, but the family is safe. No one is harmed. The wind takes the clutter and leaves a certain clarity.

I once knew an accomplished artist who lost his life’s work in a house fire. What I assumed would be tragic, for him was an opportunity: “I’m alive,” he said, elated. “Now I have a completely clean slate and can discover my work all over again.”

The storm comes. The veil falls. The Great and Powerful Oz is nothing more than a man with levers and illusions of grandeur hiding his real face behind a curtain. Dorothy suddenly knows without doubt what is true and what is fabrication. It’s quietly liberating.

She watches The Great and Powerful drift away in his hot air balloon and clumsy illusion. Dorothy realizes that no one can give her what she already possesses, an integrity of purpose, a vibrant spirit, surrounded by honest people who love her in a place she calls “home.”

A new day.

Nap with DogDog & BabyCat, 36″x48″, mixed media

read Kerri’s blogpost about A NEW DAY

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Know The Context [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

Things are rarely what they seem at first glance. One tidbit of information, one step to the left or right and a new perspective opens, the image shifts, and everything comes into focus. Change need not be monumental. More often than not it happens in the tiny steps, the subtle rearrangement of expectations, full understanding alights with proper context.

The picture comes into view. A nice way of implying comprehension. The penny drops. The light bulb goes on. I knew immediately what this was a photo of – I know the context. It’s familiar to me. Outside of my context this photograph might be a mystery. A Rorschach inkblot. A request for a psychological interpretation. A blob on mesh.

It’s Dogga, taken through the screen door. He’s looking back at the camera. Even at rest he tracks us, he knows we are watching before we know we are watching. Even at rest, he is invested in our well-being. Our safety. He delights us with his antic awareness.

Things are rarely what they seem at first glance. Although it may not be immediately recognizable, it is a photograph of quiet joy. An image of home. Heart warmth. A sign that all is right in the world.

All My Loves, 24″x40.5″, mixed media on hardboard

read Kerri’s blogpost about the SCREEN DOOR

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