Each Other’s Destiny [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

This tiny white clover flower, no bigger than my fingernail, is an entire universe unto itself. It is a miracle of pattern, designed to attract pollinators. Although I am certain is doesn’t waste a moment of its existence pondering its purpose, it serves as a nutrient to soil and through its vast root system it prevents erosion.

When I write that it is an entire universe unto itself what I really mean is that it is intimately connected to everything. Although we have given it a name and dissected it to the last atom, it does not know itself as separate from the sun that feeds it or the bees and mammals that feed on it. It serves and is served. Both/And. That is the nature of the entire universe. We have words for it: interconnection, flow, movement, relationship.

Words separate this from that. That’s the whole point of a word: to make distinct. To make distinct for us and for our purposes. And, because we think our thoughts in words we can’t help but think of ourselves as separate, distinct. In our word-infused minds we lose contact with the connection. Is it no wonder that we spend much of our time pondering our purpose? Having blunted the experience of interconnection is it no wonder that we story ourselves above it all?

That we name things has given us the illusion that we are higher beings, better than the white clover flower. Hubris is most often the cause of civilization’s collapse. Our capacity to name things comes with a matching capacity to deny – that is to lie and lie until we lie to ourselves. We are both the spider and the fly entangled in the web.

Leave it to a poet to capture in two sentences what I have not captured in paragraphs:

“The farthest star and the mud at our feet are a family; and there is no decency or sense in honoring one thing, or a few things, and then closing the list. The pine tree, the leopard, the Platte River, and ourselves – we are at risk together, or we are on our way to a sustainable world together. We are each other’s destiny.” ~ Mary Oliver, Upstream, Selected Essays.

***

we are trying to regroup, rethink and refocus our melange blogpost writing a bit. we – like you – know what is really happening in our world and do not need one more person – including ourselves – telling us the details of this saddest of descents destroying democracy and humanity. though we know our effort will not be 100% – for there is sooo much to bemoan in these everydays – we have decided to try and lean into another way – to instead write about WHAT ELSE IS REAL. this will not negate negativity, but we hope that it will help prescribe presence as antidote and balm for our collective weariness. ~ xoxo kerri & david

read Kerri’s blogpost about WHITE CLOVER

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Especially Now [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

Dear You,

we are trying to regroup, rethink and refocus our melange blogpost writing a bit. we – like you – know what is really happening in our world and do not need one more person – including ourselves – telling us the details of this saddest of descents destroying democracy and humanity. though we know our effort will not be 100% – for there is sooo much to bemoan in these everydays – we have decided to try and lean into another way – to instead write about WHAT ELSE IS REAL. this will not negate negativity, but we hope that it will help prescribe presence as antidote and balm for our collective weariness. ~ xoxo kerri & david

***

Sometimes what we see is obvious. Sometimes it is not. We showed this photo to 20. Kerri told him it was a painting. I told him it was a granite counter top. He narrowed his eyes. He knows us too well. It could be a photograph taken by the Webb telescope: the surface of an unknown planet or a particular slice of the galaxy analyzed through a monochromatic lens. What else could it be? A satellite image of earth’s weather pattern? A microscope image of lymph moving in the body?

Without context it is difficult – well, it is nearly impossible – to arrive at an agreement of what we see. And isn’t that the epicenter of the interesting times in which we live? Deceptive contexts. Most often dueling contexts. We do not wrangle over what we see; our fight is about context; the loss of shared context. We cannot agree on what we see.

His parents used the railing of the bridge to stretch after their walk. The young boy peered down into the water and said, “Yuck.” The family moved on. We stopped at the yuck spot and looked down. Pollen swirling in the slow moving river.

Kerri whipped out her camera whispering, “Gorgeous!”

Whose interpretation is correct? Kerri’s? The young boy’s?

Both. They share context so neither need be right or wrong. They agree on what they see just not on the aesthetics.

What else is real? It is a good question to ask. Especially now.

read Kerri’s blogpost about WHAT ELSE IS REAL

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What Makes Us Beautiful [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

When I tell Kerri that she is beautiful she deflects or minimizes my words. She tells me that I am biased or acts as if she didn’t hear me. She is not unique in her response. How many of us have long ago shielded ourselves against the idea that we are beautiful?

Peel back the layers.

Many years ago a student came to my office. He was sobbing. He had recently revealed to his family and peers that he was gay and their overwhelming message back to him was that he was broken and needed to be fixed. He was vulnerable in revealing his truth – his beauty – and was slapped. The message: you are ugly. In his despair he could not see that the ugliness was in how he was being treated. At some point he cried, “I just want to break something!” I thought that was a very good idea so we went outside and hurled ceramic plates at a brick wall. We laughed and laughed until he could hear the words, “You are not broken”.

What I didn’t say to him was this: They want to hammer you into compliance because they fear your difference. Fearful people are threatened by difference. They label it as ugly. Your difference is what makes you unique, beautiful and special.

Isn’t it interesting to you that we-the-people, inhabiting the most individualistic nation on the planet, buy our clothes from the same retailers, worship hallowed brands, with the express purpose of fitting in? We express our individuality, judge our beauty, by conforming to a fashion image.

It is one of the reasons why Kerri cannot possibly allow my admiration of her beauty. She doesn’t fit the magazine-model-ideal. She is a blue-jeans-and-boots wearing, black thermal shirt girl (thank god!). It creates a split. On the one hand, she is an artist, a woman wrapped in difference who easily lives on the margins so she can more clearly see and reflect the society in her music, writing, and photographs. On the other hand, she cannot allow the notion that her difference is the very thing that reveals her beauty. She doesn’t fit the norm. She doesn’t match the magazine ideal or wear the right brands. She compares herself to those who do so she can’t possibly allow that she is uniquely beautiful.

It’s a lot of pressure, this need to fit in. In fact, it is a basic survival instinct to a herd animal like a human being. That is the real beauty, the magic of these United States. It is a society that, at it’s best, when it is in its right mind, strives to create the inclusion of difference, intends to celebrate the unique, make a safe home for diversity, a safe place for all to worship as they choose, love who they choose. In the ideal, difference – sometimes called “freedom” – is protected equally for all under the law.

We wrestle with the split. We need to remember that we are unique in the history of the world. We are a democracy comprised of people from all over this gloriously diverse planet, a nation of immigrants. This latest attempt by the morbidly fearful to scrub ourselves bland, straight and white, to bludgeon us back-in-time to some fantasy uniform past, is ugly and destructive. They would bully us into conformity, a one-size-fits-all mentality. We need only remember that our difference, our diversity, is precisely what makes these United States of America unique, beautiful and special.

This is not the time to deflect. What makes us truly beautiful is worth owning and vigorously protecting.

read Kerri’s blogpost about BEAUTIFUL

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Exactly Perfect [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab]

Amidst of all the national gore, there is the stuff that really matters. The little stuff. We grew the basil. We made dinner together. We ate outside on the deck on the first cool evening that we’ve had in weeks. Dogga sat at our feet waiting for a bite of crust. We savored our moment.

I have the lyrics of a James Taylor song running through my mind: Well the sun is surely sinkin’ down/ But the moon is slowly risin’/ So this old world must still be spininn’ ’round/ And I still love you.

That’s it. That is all. It was exactly perfect.

read Kerri’s blogpost about PERFECT

smack-dab © 2025 kerrianddavid.com

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Special Delivery [David’s blog on KS Friday]

Iris is a goddess in Greek mythology. She is like the postal service, delivering messages between the gods and humans. In ancient Greek, Iris means rainbow. ‘Iris links the gods to humanity.” She links humanity to the gods. Tease that tidbit of symbolism apart and she provides the connective tissue linking people to wisdom, human beings to truth.

Although rainbows appear as an arch from the ground, they are actually complete circles, light refracted and reflected through water droplets. The ancient Greeks would never have been able to see the full circle since it takes an airplane to see the whole of Iris but I bet they had no problem seeing the circular nature of truth; the end-less nature of wisdom available if one can climb high enough to see it.

Kerri tells me that it is not unusual to find a single iris all alone in the field. One messenger carrying one message at a time! This messenger stopped us in our tracks because it seemed so out of place. It was a surprise akin to the discovery of a frog in our little backyard pond. “Now, how did you get there?” I ask.

Later, I allowed myself to entertain the notion that Iris was bringing us a message. Her missives are always encouragements. Have hope. Keep the faith. Draw on your courage. The wisdom is within you. I liked the idea that Iris brought us a letter and that the envelope contained a morale-boost, a heartening. Her timing was impeccable. Her simple beauty inspired awe.

Today, as I write this, the nation is alive with Good Trouble protests. I wonder what it will take for the republicans, so dedicated to keeping their heads firmly planted in the sand, to receive the messages from Iris? I wonder what it will take – what they and we will lose – for them to climb high enough to see the circular impact of their actions? Can they possibly believe that undermining their constituents and driving them into poverty will not bring a tsunami to their shores? Do they not understand that turning their backs on the truth to protect a liar transforms them into tissue-paper-fools, too?

In a time that they have lost their collective spine, eschewed their moral compass, it is my hope that they receive a special delivery from Rainbow Iris, a single flower in a field: Find your courage now.

GALENA on the album RELEASED FROM THE HEART © 1995 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about IRIS

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Don’t We? [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

In Japan the clematis is a symbol of moral beauty. Consider it.

There are very few adequate synonyms for the word ‘beauty’ yet we know without doubt what it means. It’s a word of the senses. It is felt in the heart. It is a cup overflowing with awe and appreciation.

On the other hand, the word ‘moral’ has many, many synonyms. Virtue. Doing the right thing. Honest. Decent. Truthful. Upright. Right-minded. Just plain good. And from these adjectives – descriptions of a quality of being – we experience the undefinable: beauty.

Moral beauty. The clematis climbs. It aspires to reach new heights. Things that climb are often associated with gaining broader perspective and, therefore, wisdom attained from the experience of climbing, of overcoming obstacles, of persevering. From the heights – and the journey to get there – we see the landscape and our inner landscape more clearly. We are more capable of discerning between what is important and what is not, what has value and what does not, what is honest and what is not.

The clematis blossoms. Our blossom is called moral beauty.

It is why many of us shudder watching the ugly amorality goosestepping across this nation. It is a descent into darkness. Indecent. Dishonest. Wrong-minded. Synonyms of ‘ugly’ include perilous, dangerous, hostile, menacing, ominous. Are these not perfect descriptors of ICE?

The clematis climbs.

The nation falls.

Rather than beauty our nation reveres an alligator infested swamp. It champions a liar. Narrow minds threaten and erase greater perspectives. This nation, once a beacon of hope is now afraid of the light. Rather than overcome real obstacles, our leaders manufacture them to fuel outrage and circumvent and/or undermine the Constitution. Ignorance bellows over wisdom. History is whitewashed. The truth is hidden away in the files.

I return to the question, “What do we do?” The clematis climbs. It overcomes. It perseveres. We need not fall into the muddy pit.

It occurs to me that we have in our tradition a Golden Rule. It begins with the word “do”. It provides guidance for what we might do as a first step: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

It is a wisdom that comes from standing upon the heights after a difficult climb. That is why it is so simple. Do Empathy. Do Reciprocity. Do Consideration. Do Generosity. Do Kindness. Isn’t that what we want done unto us?

We know what to do, don’t we? We know where to start, don’t we?

Surrender Now, 24″x24″ mixed media

read Kerri’s blogpost about CLEMATIS

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Do! [David’s blog on Flawed Wednesday]

Since I asked a question in our most recent smack-dab, I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind: “What actions – beyond awareness-raising – will effectively save our democracy…?”

If you are like me, you are sick-to-death of reading posts from our elected democratic leaders decrying the latest moral-offense and breach of the Constitution of the republican administration. It’s become something of a game to read the first comment which inevitably is something like, “I know this already! So what are you doing about it?”

The operative word is “do”. The question for our elected leaders should not absolve us of responsibility and would better read, “What are we doing about it?”

We are aware. What are we doing?

Raising awareness is not action. It’s a step toward action but is not itself a useful action. Crying, “The house is on fire!” is necessary but if it doesn’t prompt a call to the fire department it is useless.

When I asked the question on my saturday-morning-smack-dab post I did not have a clear set of answers. I know the first action-set has to protect our elections since the current occupant of the white house has been manufacturing crises since day one so he might circumvent congress. His authoritarian power grab is nearly complete. All that remains is to rig or stop our next election. His party is already erecting voting barriers to women and people of color.

I want to be inundated with posts from democratic leaders detailing potent action rather than shared-awareness-alarms.

I do not have answers. I have ideas. Lots of ideas. I’d welcome conversations about doing that arrive at specific actions aimed at specific targets. I’d cheer if our democratic leaders went on offense rather than perpetually playing defense, reacting and responding. Stop telling me the house is on fire. I already know. Take the ball back. What’s in the playbook?

The morning glories are out. They line sections of the trail. They have a very short blooming season and so have come to represent transience. They caught my attention as we walked and I pondered my question about effective action. Because the morning glory grows in complex environments, the flower has also come to represent the overcoming of adversity and renewal. Our democracy need not be fleeting.

I realized the morning glory is the perfect symbol for my meditation/question. Don’t take this – our democracy – for granted. It will die. Renewal is our job. We live in a time that our job requires immediate action, targeted action meant to overcome authoritarian/republican adversity.

The house is on fire. We already know it. We can stand by and tell each other about the heat of the flames or we can get busy working together to douse the flame.

read Kerri’s blogpost about MORNING GLORY

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The Language of Flowers [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

“In the language of flowers, the bluebell is a symbol of humility, constancy, gratitude and everlasting love. It is said that if you turn a bluebell flower inside-out without tearing it, you will win the one you love, and if you wear a wreath of bluebells you will only be able to speak the truth.” ~ Woodland Trust

Recently I much prefer the language of flowers to the language of people.

Flowers call to Kerri. “Stop! Take my picture!” So she does. I do not hear the voice of the flower but I do hear Kerri’s, “Ohhhhhh!”

When we walk the neighborhood en route to the lake we pass a house that at first glance seems overrun with flora. It is a butterfly garden. Intentionally cultivated, aesthetically chaotic and beautiful. It also encourages bees. It’s the place where Kerri heard the bluebells beckon and I heard, “Ohhhhh! Bluebells!” We stopped for an extended photo shoot. The posing bluebells wanted to make sure that Kerri captured their best side.

This morning she asked me to read something that she found disturbing. “If I have it in my mind then you have to have it in your mind, too.” It was layer upon layer of maga conspiracy theory; fearmongering deep state paranoia. At the center of it all was a dedicated victimhood. “THEY are out to get US.” The libs, the woke, the dems, blah, blah, blah, fido, fact-free, dark-mind, nonsense. The language of sad-angry-deluded-people swirled around in my mind so I walked out the backdoor to visit the day lilies. They are beginning to bloom and I love them. Vibrant orange. A few are the color of red wine. I said, “Talk to me.”

They must have said, “Go get Kerri,” because at that moment she came out the backdoor.

“Will you ask the day lilies if I should send bluebells to Washington, DC?” I asked. “They won’t talk to me.”

“What?” she wrinkled her brow.

I quoted: “…wear a wreath of bluebells you will only be able to speak the truth.”

“Ohhhh!” she said, looking over my shoulder, no longer listening to me. “I have to get my camera!” She disappeared into the house. She must have heard the day lilies because they began to primp for their photo shoot. Beauty unabashedly celebrating itself.

“Yes,” I thought, as the photo shoot commenced, “I very much prefer the language of flowers”.

read Kerri’s blogpost about BLUEBELLS

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Active Gratitude [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

I think we have it all wrong and that’s why we are now in trouble. Even in the dictionary this word, “community” gets an antiseptic scrubbing. Community is so much more than “people living in the same place,” or “people having a particular characteristic in common”. It is so much more than “a feeling of fellowship,” or “sharing common interests, attitudes, and goals.” All of those aspects are certainly important but they are superficial.

These definitions omit the soul of the communal body.

I found a startlingly simple yet profound definition of community in Martíin Prechtel’s book, Long Life, Honey In The Heart. I discovered my definition of community in his definition of “adulthood”. In his village, adulthood is not something that just happens. Adulthood is not simply a product of aging. It is not a legal definition. It is something that is learned and earned. One is not considered an adult until they embody and live each day from a real-to-the-bone understanding of mutual indebtedness.

Mutual indebtedness. People who are accountable to and for each other. People who are responsible for the well-being of their neighbors. People who know without doubt that their neighbors are accountable to them and responsible for their well-being. Reciprocal generosity.

No one walks this path alone. No one is truly independent. Everyone is reliant upon the gifts, skills and labor of others. Take a walk through a grocery store and try to try to grok how many people, how much labor and love it took to get the potatoes to the shelf. Or, if that’s too abstract, consider how many people were involved in the making of the screen you are presently using; how many generations of thought and imagination, how many hours and hours of someone else’s labor did it take for you to scroll and click? How many people all over the world did it take to mine the minerals and make the chips and manufacture and assemble the components and ship the unit across seas and over roads before you powered on and individualized your device?

Are we or are we not denying responsibility for the well-being of the people who each and everyday serve our needs? Or, as I fear, as is apparent in our current hubris, are we so deluded that we think we can exploit the lives and labor of others without the inevitable blow-back and ultimate societal collapse that “every man for himself” necessitates?

Bullies occupy playgrounds and make deals using big sticks – evidence of a childish mind. Adolescence is self-serving and simplistic.

Our current republican government’s dedicated enemy-creation and fact-free-demonization of others is the antithesis of community. It is, in fact, the intentional destruction of community.

Adulthood comes with the dawning recognition of interdependence. Mutual indebtedness. Responsibility to and for others. Labor as service. Governance as service. Artistry as service. Life as service. As the Beatles sang it, “The love you take is equal to the love you make.”

Community is an action, a verb and not a noun. It is a practice rooted in service to others. It is the adult recognition that a better world for me is only possible when I dedicate myself to the betterment of others. Well-being is a shared intention, something we owe to each other. I eat the food you grow and pick. You use the technology that I develop. We enjoy the fruits of each other’s labor. We survive and thrive because of the efforts of others. We are indebted to each other.

The soul of community is active gratitude.

“Indeed, I don’t believe you can practice love and be in community with folks without an incorporation of accountability as an ethic and a practice.” ~ Tarana Burke, Unbound

read Kerri’s blogpost about ACCOUNTABILITY

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Awareness Is Not Action [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab]

In chaos there is pattern. This is the pattern emerging amidst our national chaos: people are dying in floods because early warning systems were interrupted by “waste, fraud, and abuse” cuts to the National Weather Service. People all over the world are dying due to the shuttering of USAID. People are losing their social safety net and public services to afford tax cuts for the morbidly wealthy; it’s estimated that over 50,000 citizens each year will die unnecessarily due to loss of their health care and access to services. People are being plucked off the streets and out of their homes by masked government agents and being “disappeared”.

The pattern in the chaos: ordinary people are suffering and dying, sacrificed on the altar of financial gain. Apparently the common person is counted among the waste to be cut. Certainly, it’s clear that the everyday person on the street is seen as a resource to be exploited, used and discarded. Republican Joni Ernst in a contentious town hall told her constituents protesting cuts to MEDICAID that, “We are all going to die.”

Consider this: The children were swept away in a flood that surprised them because the early warning system broke down due to staffing cuts. There was no one staffing the office necessary to pass on the evacuation warnings. The director of the DHS couldn’t be bothered to sign off on an emergency response for over 72 hours after the flooding began. She was too busy posing for the camera.

Indignation is useful fuel but can only carry us so far. As Kara Swisher asked in a recent podcast, “Would you rather be right or effective?” Yes, we are right to be indignant about the lies, the gaslighting, the fraud, the corruption, the grift, the incompetence, the brutality, the immorality, the hubris…

And, as we watch our democracy swirl around the drain, it is obvious that we are not-at-all being effective in our response. Words to myself and to you: perhaps it is time to rethink our ranting and raising-awareness about how wrong this is. That certainly feels good to share in the indignation. It certainly feels like we’re doing something. A lesson I learned early in my consulting life: raising awareness is not action. It’s a step toward action. If raising awareness was action, gun violence would not be the leading cause of death of children in the USA.

If the republican’s BBB is any indication, we are not being effective at all because our actions are limited to awareness raising: we call representatives who no longer listen; we march in order to send a message to representatives who no longer care. The polls have the tyrant and his party in the basement and they do not seem concerned at all. We raise awareness within our social media bubbles with people who are already abundantly aware how wrong this is.

Calls to representatives. Marches and civil unrest. Polls. If you are hearing what I am hearing, then we have to realize that this is a whole new ballgame. They are playing as if our votes – our voices – no longer matter. We are assuming that our votes will eventually correct the course. The clear message that we need to grok is made obvious in the pattern: To them we are waste to be cut, an unnecessary obstacle on the road to their gluttony. We can protest all we want. They are aware. They do not care since democracy is not in their plan.

It’s way past time to be effective. Our right to vote, our representative government, is being auctioned off to the highest bidder. What actions – beyond awareness-raising – will effectively save our democracy from a leadership so bloated and corrupt that it cannot be bothered to care or to listen?

read Kerri’s blogpost about PATHETIC