Posted on September 7, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative
Humans 300 years from now will look on our times as the nadir of human expression. They will marvel at our creation of something so ingenious as social media and then wrinkle their noses at how we used it.
“Predictable,” they will sigh. “If anyone can say anything in a medium driven and magnified solely by popularity – then it should have come as no surprise that some people will-in-fact say anything to hoard popularity.” Likes. “They must not have known that people will do anything for attention,” they will roll their eyes.
“Our ancestors enjoyed free speech,” they will scribble in their notes, “but were a people with no sense of decorum.” Their discovery will spur a new field of research: when in human development did people evolve enough to place decency above their need for approval? When did people evolve enough to consider the impact of their words, to understand that that their actions affect the greater good?
She rarely sleeps the whole night through. Which means neither do I. And, to be honest, most of our midnight conversations are world-class. The deep night calls forward the deep conversations. We generally talk until dawn. It is ironic that the light in the sky is, for Kerri, like a sleeping potion.
And, if I am honest, there are nights that I am incapable of cogency. In other words, I am less than lucid. With white noise buzzing between my ears, the best I can do is listen. And nod. And mutter. And hold my head up. And hang on for the dawn.
*****
and in a fit of randomness, here’s a blast from the past song that has almost nothing to do with this post except that Kerri began raucously singing the chorus when I read her my post…
Posted on January 4, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative
Writing the first draft of a play, I’ve just entered the “swimming upstream” step in the process. I’m working my way from back-to-front to make sure all the story dots connect. It’s detail work. It requires looking close-in. I used to hate this part of the process because I’d get lost. I’d forget what I was doing and prematurely rework sections. Painters ruin paintings when working too small too soon. Writers are subject to the same peril. Now, I adore this step. Life is funny.
A few years ago I realized that my change in process-love, my capacity to work in detail without getting lost, came when I stopped trying to race to the end. Now, I am in no hurry to finish. I want a full relationship with my story as it reveals itself to me. It is a child, holding my hand, guiding me to the wonders of the playground.
Working forward. Working backward. Stepping in and then stepping away, like the tides. Big brush washes first, attending to the overall composition. Structure. And then detail. It’s much like building a house. Foundations and then finishes.
I have learned from watching Kerri to use my camera to see detail. To step in and look. Seeing-as-a-relationship. To pay attention to the dew on the small pine, the reason it glistens. And then to step in further. The platitude: a single drop of dew contains an entire world. Beyond the platitude: step in and it’s possible to fall into another world. To experience the surprise available in the enormity of the minute. And bring back to the big, big world of hurry-here-hurry-there the astonishment that is found there.
Posted on December 14, 2023 by davidrobinsoncreative
As is always true, the color calls me and I stop. You’d think I’d get used to the pop of red vine against the winter grass. You’d think that I’d expect it and, therefore, no longer see it. But that hasn’t happened yet. Or maybe I’m refusing to let it happen. The color calls. I answer.
Sometimes I feel as if it is a requirement to move slow enough in the world to actually absorb it. Move too fast and the extraordinary bounces off. Moving too fast makes us Teflon. Non-stick living. I want to soak it up. I want to feel it, the whole spectrum.
It’s a consumer mind that thinks, “I’ve seen it,” and races fast “to get there,” forever on the freeway gobbling miles and eschewing the backroads. Gobbling achievement while missing the experience. Checking life off the list. I am not the same as I was yesterday. When the red vine calls I might be open to a wholly new conversation. The red vine certainly is not the same as yesterday. I can see it because I “took the time” to see.
Like the red vine, the phrase “take time” called so I answered. I Googled it and, no surprise, most of the synonyms were negative. Culture betrays itself. Dawdle. Dally. Waste time. Fritter away. Goof off. Lolly gag. And, the cherry on the top of the Puritan heap: lose time.
It’s a regular deathbed revelation for people to wish they had not raced through their lives to hang yet another plaque on their wall of respect. If there is a strategy for losing-the-time-of-your-life it is to race-through-to get-to-the-end. Goal achieved. There’s another way. Walk slow enough to hear when the red vine calls. Then, take the time to stop and answer.
Posted on November 15, 2023 by davidrobinsoncreative
It just took me awhile to catch-up. At least that’s what I tell myself. I’ve always had friends and acquaintances who kept herb gardens. They grew herbs in the yard, on roof tops, and in windowsills. They took great delight telling me the rosemary was from their garden or the delicious pesto was made from the basil growing in the pot “just over there.” I was too much a wanderer to commit to anything that needed soil and attention. It was enough for me to rub the leaves between my fingers, appreciate and breathe in the fresh smells of other people’s herbs.
Of course, now, that I have put down roots of my own I am more capable of tending things with roots. I have joined the ranks of herb growers. I have found the deep delight of making a meal delicious with something just clipped from the garden. Tomato soup with basil. Rosemary on potatoes. Chopped parsley with almost anything.
To be honest, Kerri is the primary herb farmer in our house. I carry pots, heft bags of potting soil. I am support services for the herb garden. I double as the substitute plant waterer when she is otherwise engaged. My role is to admire. To appreciate.
It’s a good role because I receive all the benefits of the garden. I even share the credit for the successful harvest. I carry the herb knowledge we’ve acquired. Yet, I rarely worry about the garden. I rarely think about how to improve it. As support services, my role is less about the health and well-being of the herb and more about the health and well-being of the herb farmer. I attend to the tender.
I suppose that is all of our roles in one way or another: attend to the people who attend to us. But, as I wrote at the beginning of this post, I am a slow study. It took me awhile to catch-up. I’m like a good soup. I needed to simmer for a very long time. Oh, yes. I also needed some fresh basil. Grown from the pot just over there. At least, that is what I tell myself.
Posted on October 17, 2023 by davidrobinsoncreative
One day on the trail we talked of the good angels that surround us. 20 and Brad and Jen. The Up North Gang. Horatio and Guy. Smith and Dwig and Arnie. There are too many to count. Dogga is an angel. John and Michele. People we rely on. People who show up when we need help. People who reach out with a kind word. People who let you know that they are there. Alex. Kim. Kate and Jerry. Buffalo Bob. People who listen when we need to talk it through. People who inspire us. People that we simply know are out there, our spiritual safety net. MM. Master Miller. Judy. People who have walked before us. Tom Mck, Quinn, Columbus. Beaky and Pa.
Too many to count.
I believe County Rainy Day was an angel sent to remind me not to fixate on a single path but to look left and right: what might appear a deviation is, in fact, the heart path. Like County Rainy Day, some angels appear in our lives for a brief moment and then are gone. The security guard who let me stay in the small airport after closing; he knew I didn’t have money for a taxi or a hotel. An angel.
This was the point of our trail conversation: the angels that populate our lives are not ethereal abstractions. They are the people and critters who walk the path with us. They show up in critical moments and during the everyday. They are as messy and confused as we are and unafraid to show it. They, therefore, want to help make our path easier. We want to help make their path easier.
And, in the process of helping, of showing up for each other – together – we fill this very short life window with treasure beyond measure. Presence. Attention. Support. Encouragement. Reflection. Good angel stuff.
We are on a hummingbird watch. There’s an app that plots their migration. They’ve been spotted to the north of us.The little hummingbird symbols on the map show a veritable cavalry of hummingbirds approaching from the south. Our hummingbird feeders are poised and ready, filled with sugar water. Gay, Jay, and Kerri have an agreement: the first to spot a hummingbird in their yard gets a celebratory margarita.
One of my heroes, my great-aunt Dorothy, had multiple hummingbird feeders on her mountaintop yard. I remember sitting in the sun watching the hummingbird posse dart from feeder to feeder. Dorothy’s little plot of grass was a magical place. Blue bottles caught the sun, special rocks glittered, Poncho the dog lazed in the shade, Del’s old army jeep teetered on the edge of the abyss. A ride in the jeep was certain to take us up the mountain into wild, unimaginable adventure.
They did not live in the world of hurry-up and get-there. Their world was the opposite. They were not trying to be-somewhere-else. They designed their lives on experiencing the here-and-now. Their intention was to appreciate-the-fullness-of-this-moment. It was the only place in my childhood, other than my studio/bedroom, that made sense, though it’s taken me a lifetime to recognize why.
They didn’t split themselves. They chose simple living over anxious striving. When I was young I often looked at Dorothy and wanted to know what she knew, wanted to live as she lived. I loved taking walks through the mountain trails with her. I’ve only recently recognized that Kerri and I walk as Dorothy walked. Slowly. Open to what crosses our path and calls our attention. We are capable of walking the same trail each day and experiencing it anew each time.
My north star has been there all along, even in the times when I jumped into the race because it was what I thought I was supposed to do. Yesterday, I went into my upstairs office, sat at my drafting table, and drew cartoons, modifying scripts generated from chatGPT. “I can’t continue to just apply for positions,” I told myself, “I have to do something different as well.” Cartoons.
I laughed. I was full-to-overflowing with ideas. I’ve not been so happy in weeks. Something different; something sane. Something now.
This morning, while I washed dishes, I gazed out the kitchen window, watching for the hummingbirds. I remembered something Susan said to us at breakfast last week: your yard is a sanctuary. She told us that she makes a pilgrimage to our yard each year to recharge. Our yard is like Del and Dorothy’s mountaintop, not by accident, but through intention. It is the place we sit-in-the-here-and-now. To rejuvenate. To enjoy the chipmunk colony living in Barney-the-piano, the chatter of the squirrels, that flash of the cardinals. To await with great anticipation the arrival of the first hummingbird.
Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes & streaming on Pandora
She thinks I’m kidding. If we someday walk the 2,650 mile Pacific Crest Trail I will require an emotional support donkey. This is no joke! She does not do well when she’s hungry and I’m not sure I can heft the amount of snacks necessary to keep her from daily H-anger. Hiker hunger is a real thing and without an emotional support donkey to carry sufficient snacks I’d walk all 2,650 miles with low-grade anxiety.
For our seventh anniversary she gave me a plant, a heart-shaped-leaf Philodendron. It was meant to keep me company in my office. I was spending most of my life alone upstairs noodling away at software-start-up conundrums. She thought I might need an ally. We cleverly named the Philodendron “Seven”. I’m not ashamed to admit that my life improved dramatically when Seven greeted me each morning. I surprised myself the day I asked Seven a question and an answer popped into my brain. “Did you just answer me?’ I asked, squinting my eyes at those mischievous heart leaves. Here’s a good Zen koan for you: What is the sound of a heart-leaf Philodendron chuckling?
When the pandemic closed the world we transformed our sunroom into a plant sanctuary. A ponytail palm arrived. A snake plant. Succulents. Our sweet Desi, who dreams of someday being a pine tree. The finicky KC. We sat in the sunroom surrounded by our plants every day. They lifted our spirits. We tended them and they, in turn, tended us. Eventually the plants spilled out of the sunroom into the living room and now our sitting room and bedroom are plant-ed.
When we saw this little plant stake in a shop in Cedarburg, I laughed. We’d need a thousand of the little stakes. The tall grasses in the yard. Breck, the little-aspen-tree-that-could. Kerri’s tomatoes. The basil. I’d consider withholding a stake from the crabgrass but it gives me a mission-impossible that keeps me busy and self-important, so I suppose it’s also an emotional support plant in disguise.
I wonder if the birds might wear tiny bracelets? Emotional Support Bird. Between the green things and the feathers-that-fly – not to mention our bevy of two-legged friends – we’re pretty well emotionally supported. Well, everywhere but on the trail. Do not doubt I’m keeping my eyes peeled for that donkey.
Posted on February 28, 2023 by davidrobinsoncreative
Two Artists Haiku
What is in a chip?
Form and meaning see a heart,
Loving reminder.
Kerri sees them everywhere. It’s a seeing-sense that I appreciate: moving through the world finding hearts. Another trait that I appreciate? When she see’s the heart, she stops. She takes time with it. Sometimes she takes a photograph. Sometimes she simply attends to the uncanny heart, taking it into her being. A message or affirmation. “LookIt!” she exclaims as if this heart-find is the first time.
It happens often. Daily.
Sometimes I wonder: is she finding the hearts or are the hearts finding her? “LookIt!” the heart exclaims.
Either way, it’s not a bad way of moving through the world.
Posted on December 12, 2022 by davidrobinsoncreative
I’ve started thinking of our happy hour as “the daily gorgeous.” The intentional act of attention and appreciation. The great bit-of-blowback from the ritual expression of gratitude over a glass of wine and a cracker with cheese is that, the next day, you pay attention. You start looking for the gratitudes you will share. They are everywhere.
There are a few big events. For instance, knowing we lost our job, an envelope arrived in the mail with some money-to-give-us-hope.
It’s the small moments that are the surprise. When you look for them, they are ubiquitous. For instance, right now, I’m sitting next to my wife on a cold and snowy day. We are sitting under a quilt doing something we love to do. We are writing together. Here’s another: this morning while making breakfast, Dogga came into the kitchen and pressed his head into my leg. I stopped what I was doing and ruffled his ears.
Here’s another: each night I set up coffee for the next morning. The smell of freshly ground coffee beans fills the house. We look at each and say, “I can’t wait until morning so we can drink coffee!”
It’s the willingness to stop that brings the awareness. The ever availability of the abundance of gratitude, I’m learning, is readily accessible when the next moment is not granted more status than the present moment.
Central on my wall of quotes is this: I create my own stress. I will add a new Post-it note next to it that reads: I miss the gorgeous by racing through it. Necessary reminders.
My all-time favorite movie is About Time. Richard Curtis both wrote the screenplay and directed the film. It scribes a path to the realization that each day, each moment is gorgeous in all its simplicity. If you fully touch the moment you are in there’ll be no reason to try and lasso it later. Plus, you’ll have plenty to share at the daily gorgeous.
The Direction of Intention 