Puff, Puff, Poof! [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

“But I’ll tell you what hermits realize. If you go off into a far, far forest and get very quiet, you’ll come to understand that you’re connected with everything.” ~ Alan Watts

I recently read an outrageous statistic. The average American by age 20, across all available media, has seen one million commercials. I can’t confirm it but a quick consult with the oracle Google, produced some equally eye-popping numbers. Regardless of the actual number, we are awash in advertisement. My favorite synonym for advertisement: puff (British, of course).

In my recent foray into software development I read that 90% of the world’s data was generated in the last two years. My particular favorite phrase describing data: units of meaning.

We are living in an angry time. It’s a vicious circle: our units of meaning are often – if not always – absent of context or continuity, rendering them isolated. They’re like asteroids hurtling through space.

People seek meaning. It is a uniquely human activity. Meaning-making requires context and continuity. Our ‘puffs’ would have us believe that we will certainly find meaning and connection if we buy what they are selling – but we soon realize that what they are selling, relative to meaning, is just that – a puff. Like me, you will never find lasting happiness in a new car or your identity in your brand of blue jeans. Perhaps you will experience satisfaction for a fleeting moment – which is roughly the lifespan of a unit of data-meaning. Is it any wonder that we are angry and grasping at any ole’ context that conspiracy theories and propaganda might provide? Anger is an expression of fear, and the fear: that we are hurtling through life without meaning.

“And people get all fouled up because they want the world to have meaning as if it were words… As if you had a meaning, as if you were a mere word, as if you were something that could be looked up in a dictionary. You are meaning.” ~ Alan Watts

The lesson of our times (and past times): there is always a populist grifter ready to exploit anger and ignorance, making promises of meaning-fulfillment pulled from an imagined past like a rabbit from a hat. A political puff.

Sometimes I think this is why Kerri and I walk on our trails. To get quiet, to unplug from the incessant info streams, the madness of news-delivered-like-a-commercial. Puff, puff…poof. To re-enter substantial and lasting context. In nature, in the cycles we participate with and experience, we regain – and rejoin – continuity. We stop hurtling through our lives grasping for ‘puff’ fulfillment or trying to make sense of nonsense. We stand in something more tangible. Eternal.

“You are a function of what the whole universe is doing in the same way that a wave is a function of what the whole ocean is doing.” ~ Alan Watts

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE LUSH DAY

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Goodness Is Quiet [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

What is it to do good? It may at first seem like an inane question until you consider how completely unmoored from simple kindness that we’ve become.

It’s the best concluding sentence in a non-fiction book: “For in the end, he [Aldous Huxley] was telling us that what afflicted the people in Brave New World was not that they were laughing instead of thinking, but that they did not know what they were laughing about and why they had stopped thinking.” ~ Neil Postman, Amusing Ourselves to Death

Like many of my friends, I did not watch the most recent presidential debate. I knew, like we all knew, that it was not really going to be a debate of ideas or an opportunity for serious comparison of party platforms for moving the country forward. It was an entertainment. It was billed with all the hype of a UFO wrestling match. It featured referees called moderators who mostly did nothing but pose and let the contestants trade blows. Think about this: we do not think it odd or sad – or reason for disqualification – that one candidate requires a real time fact-checker because he is renowned for outrageous lying and is a famous bully. He draws a crowd, ups the ratings, and that is more important and far more entertaining than an a thoughtful exchange of plans. One need not be credible if drawing a crowd is the criteria.

“…they did not know what they were laughing about and why they had stopped thinking.”

What is it to do good when we do not expect good from our leaders – or ourselves?

Here are synonyms for doing good: behave morally. Act virtuously. Behave virtuously. Be kind. Do the right thing. Act in good faith. Conduct oneself ethically…There are many, many variations.

Yesterday was our local 4th of July parade. The man who drove around the assembled families in the brown truck with a large flag waving with from back, “F*CK BIDEN, certainly was not concerned with doing good. How did it not occur to him that there might be children at the parade? How is it that he didn’t care? He was, like his role model, not at all concerned with conducting himself ethically. I assume he thought he was doing good for his team and that is precisely my point. Where is the expectation of good? Lost in the entertainment. The bully behavior mirrors the bully behavior.

Here are other synonyms for doing good: stand out. Steal the show. Boom. Reign supreme. Make the big time…There are many, many variations.

What is it to do good?

It is no more or less than what we expect it to be. What we allow it to be. If we want better, we must first be better. Our candidates mirror us, not the other way around. Right now, in the absence of serious debate, awash in noisy entertainment posing as political discourse, all we know is that we have competing ideas of what it means to do good. One is concerned only with itself. One is concerned with helping others.

For me, booming may draw a big crowd, it may be entertaining and sell abundant advertisement, but I will go with ethical every time. Kindness, like genuine goodness is quiet and has no need to draw attention to itself. Doing good, the kind that is focused on helping others, does not grow old.

read Kerri’s blogpost about DO GOOD

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Exactly The Point [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

Chris wrote that he was taking a break from Facebook. “I’ve spent too much time in this space.”

I told Kerri that after I was finished with my slow re-read of Amusing Ourselves to Death, for a while I was only going to read books that filled me with light. “I’ve had too much of darkness,” I said.

Walter Lippmann posited that “…distorted information was inherent in the human mind. People make up their minds before they define the facts…” In other words, we are more gullible and impressionable than we care to admit, and are too soon planting our belief-flags in the sand. In other-other words, fact checking is not a human forté. Gossip mongering is.

Kerri and I often walk arm and arm along the waterfront, an old-world evening constitutional, a stroll taken slowly enough to notice, an opportunity to say “Hello,” when passing neighbors and friends. More and more I think it an essential to regularly set aside those little screens that dominate our viewpoints, and clear our minds. Every painter knows that perspective is gained by stepping back. I can read streams of opinions all day long but nothing beats the affirmation of real community than a hot summer night, people sitting on porches and a neighborhood mosey.

Families filled the park. The cool breeze off the lake drew them to the shore. Barbecues. Children chasing balls and each other. A feeling of respite was pervasive. Laughter. Shared space. We passed two teenage girls sitting on a bench with a bucket of colored pencils between them, coloring their books and chatting.

The sky morphed from orange and blue to purple and pink. A single bird arced across the sky. “What are you thinking?” I asked.

“Nothing. Nothing at all.” she said. “I’m just enjoying the moment.”

I smiled, thinking, “Yes. And isn’t that exactly the point?”

read Kerri’s blog post about THE PINK SKY

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The Smallest Thing [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

Yesterday was a hard day for me. It sometimes happens that the smallest thing – a comment, a slight – rubs, becomes a hotspot, and blisters. The rub became the focus-of-the-day and I made myself miserable. Obsessing. I blistered.

Until the sunset.

Sunset came like a soothing balm. Towering storm clouds passed through earlier in the evening. We heard the thunder and saw flashes of lightning (emblematic of my inner state of mind) but the system moved to the north so we had nary a sprinkle. And, just before sunset, the clouds parted. Suddenly vibrant yellow and orange clouds danced on a field of light cobalt blue. By the time the purples appeared, I was back in-my-right-mind. The rub vanished with the waning sun. The blister began to heal. I sighed and was careful not to ponder why I gave away the day to the smallest thing.

The smallest thing. What other people think. What happened yesterday. What I fear will happen tomorrow. What I think (ask Kerri, I have more than my share of opinions and perspectives and I sometimes lack an internal editor. If you are a compassionate human being you will immediately send to her your condolences).

What I think. The sunset dissolved my roiling inner monologue. And, again, I learned that what I think is… just that. No more, no less. I heard this phrase a hundred years ago and again last week: where your thoughts go, so too will your energy. Yesterday my thoughts went into a very dark place. So, too, went my energy. A day of my life.

The sunset brought me to a lesson I learned a hundred years ago and apparently needed to learn again yesterday: I have choice. My thoughts need not be reactive. I can aim my focus anywhere I choose. I can attach my thought like a barnacle to any-old-whale-of-an-idea-stream that I desire. And, the deep dark secret to making the thought-choice-of-the-day easy? Recognize that what I think is just that – what I think – no more and no less. Lose the import. Drop the judgment. Let go the valuation. Recognize it for what it is.

The smallest thing.

read Kerri’s blogpost about SUNSET

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Never-In-My-Life [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Never-in-my-life did I imagine that I’d sit on a deck and wile away a day peering through binoculars at a crow’s nest. We cooed and awed at the babies when they showed their beaks or flapped their young wings, the diligent parents flying to and fro to feed the bottomless bellies of their hatchlings.

Never-in-my-life did I imagine that discovering a turtle’s nest, the eggs newly hatched, could inspire the depths of wonderment that we felt. It was such an unusual find that, at first, we had no idea what we were seeing. We pondered what kind of bird nests in the ground and then it hit us. We were witness to an ancient birth rite, turtle eggs cracked open from the inside. With no mother to guide them, feed them or protect them, the newly hatched turtles somehow knew where to go, what to do. They scrambled to the safety of the river, at least that is what I imagined. We were giddy with excitement.

Last night we watched – again – the movie About Time. It remains my favorite movie of all time. Even after multiple viewings I laugh aloud and struggle not to sob along the way. Even knowing what is about to come, I am deliciously caught by surprise. It makes me yearn to go back and do things differently AND to not change a single precious moment. Both/And. Every single time we watch it. Never-in-my-life.

Enjoy life. Morsels. Alan Watts might say, the ever-present now. Last night, while setting up the coffee for the morning, I wondered how many bags of Cameron’s Velvet Moon Espresso Roast I have ground and thoroughly enjoyed. Maybe hundreds. Lately, I’m paying attention to how much I enjoy the evening ritual of closing our day by grinding coffee, the smell and the anticipation. Watching Dogga wind-down by following the chipmunk trail across the yard one last time. Never-in-my-life did I think I would love so extraordinarily so much…ordinary.

Kerri is sitting next to me – her writing interrupted, caught in the hate-stream and disbelief of a conservative’s rhetoric. It brought to mind a quote by Neil Postman, written in another era but prophetically describing our era: “…irrelevance seems to us to be filled with import, and incoherence seems eminently sane.” Entertainment posing as the news-of-the-day. Noise without substance. A manufactured thrill. Contextless content. Like a drug it is meant to keep us hooked. Nothing more, nothing less. Never-in-my-life did I imagine…

Never-in-my-life did I think I would so thoroughly delight in living upside-down, so appreciate my quirky capacity to question, my driving desire to detach from the noise. It is no wonder that I find the reality of the crows nesting so refreshing. The smell of the coffee so grounding. The miracle of turtles emerging from the earth to find the water so utterly hopeful.

read Kerri’s blogpost about ENJOY LIFE MORSELS

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Turtle-Slapped [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

A turtle appeared on the path at just the right moment. As I like to say, our “jammies were in a bunch” and we were about to go over the edge and fall into a dark abyss of circumstance-dissatisfaction. We rounded the bend as our discontent began spiraling out of control, and then we saw the turtle.

Everything changed in an instant.

She cooed, knelt, and stroked the turtle’s shell. Not expecting a tsunami of affection, the turtle retreated into its fortress. But after a moment, realizing that this assault was indeed loving, it peeked and then poked its head out into the light. It slowly pivoted so she might get a better angle for her photoshoot. The turtle was a patient model and didn’t seem to mind her multiple-broken-promises of “Only one more, I swear,” as she continued snapping photographs.

We admired the orange markings, outlined in black, set in the field of green. “Gorgeous,” she whispered, tracing the markings with her finger.

After an appropriate visit, we left it to return to the marsh, and continued on our way. “What were we talking about?” I asked.

“I can’t remember,” she said, her prior frustration having completely dissipated. Mine, too.

In truth, we both remembered but no longer needed to grouse about what we could not control. We probably didn’t need to spin frustration tales to begin with. Thankfully, we were turtle-slapped into the recognition that what we needed most in our dedicated-exasperation was to slow down and appreciate our walk.

The wisdom of distraction. A turtle suddenly appears on the path at just the right moment…

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE TURTLE

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Be Woke [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab]

Tonight we will go to Pride-Fest Milwaukee to see our son Craig perform. He’s an EDM artist. His star is rising. This night, he’s performing with his friend and collaborator. Together, they perform as The Doggpound. We couldn’t be more excited or more proud.

This morning I read an angry response to a post (not mine). As a conclusion to her tirade, the woman wrote, “Aren’t you ashamed to be woke?” I admit to being perplexed to the point of mystification. Why should I or anyone be ashamed to be alert, aware, and concerned about all forms of discrimination and social injustice in our nation and the world? My idea of a better world means “liberty and justice for all.” Equality. It is the vibrant promise of this nation. It is the ideal behind our struggles. It is, after all, our pledge. Indivisible with.

I would be ashamed if I wasn’t woke. I find nothing to be proud of in dedicated ignorance.

read Kerri’s blogpost about PRIDE

smack-dab © 2024 kerrianddavid.com

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How We Fit [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

Yesterday it rained all day. We tossed out our plan-for-the-day and decided to hunker down at home. After cleaning everything that was possible to clean in the house, we turned our attention to the Enneagram. Kerri already knew her number. During his visit, she and Dwight compared notes and learnings. He not only knows his number but studies the Enneagram. I listened to their enthusiastic conversation but could not participate because I was ignorant of my number. They each had notions of where I would fall in the 9 types but refused to offer their suspicions; they did not want to unduly sway my discovery. Now, after a rainy day inquiry that included a test and some text queries with our chief-Enneagram-informant, I am certain of my number. The core character traits described in my number fit me like a too tight glove. “No wonder!” I sighed more than once while reading the narrative on my type.

We had fun during our rainy day pursuit. We read about ourselves and the compatibility of our respective numbers, the potential trouble-spots and issues. We laughed when reading general descriptions that might have been written specifically about us.

The exercise sent me down a rabbit hole. I wondered at the real-desire to type ourselves into a connected system. What makes the Enneagram or astrology any more or less valid and valuable than the minute marketing data that tracks my movements, my interests, my purchasing patterns and types me into a neat predicable category? Boomer. GenX. Progressive. Liberal. Conservative. Extrovert/Introvert…Judging/Perceiving. Survey upon survey. Sacred numbers. Archetypes. Where do I fit? Where do you fit? It’s a layer-cake of association. The rabbit hole? In a nation that is so hell-bent on defining itself as divided, irreconcilable in our differences, we are – on a much deeper level than the political – intensely interested in how we fit together in the web.

Scrape a layer off the noise. On the next rainy day, sit on your raft (bed) and take note of how much energy you and your world-o-technology are investing in weaving a greater web of interconnectivity. Pay attention beyond the toxic rhetoric of the stream and you just might see that we are, as a species and as a nation, much more interested in how we fit than how we are irrevocably broken.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE SHADOWS

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A Constant State [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

The word that stopped me was “nevertheless.” All the same. Even so. Still.

Despite the obstacles. Despite the opposition. She persisted. She continues on. She perseveres.

She.

A female judge gave her some advice: “As a woman, it’s not enough to be prepared. You have to be 200% prepared.” She was speaking from experience. “It hasn’t changed since I graduated from law school,” she added, “And that was over 30 years ago.”

So, she prepared. And prepared. And prepared.

Perseverance in the movies comes with a soundtrack. It also comes with inevitability. In real life it’s not that way.

Her day to be be heard finally came and she stepped into a foregone conclusion. All the males in the room were afforded the opportunity to speak. She left the building at the end of the day still waiting to be heard. The men spun their tale, objected when she opened her mouth, and then called it a day.

“Systems usual,” she said, upset but undeterred.

I wanted to buy this small dish for her. Nevertheless she persisted. An encouragement.

“It’s what all women have to do,” she said, looking over my shoulder. “We don’t need a reminder. We walk through the world in a constant state of “nevertheless”.

Nevertheless, she.

read Kerri’s blogpost about NEVERTHELESS

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One And The Same [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

[Embrace of Life by Mimi Webster in the John Denver Sanctuary]

She shared a video posted by a friend: elephants drinking from a watering hole. The opportunity of a lifetime to see it. Yet, it is something that happens everyday if you live in that part of the world. The ordinary and the miraculous, one-and-the-same.

He wrote that he was helping his granddaughter move from college for summer break. His love was palpable. The task was nothing more or less than an opportunity for shared time. Time shared, nothing better.

We took a walk along the lake, my dear-friend, long lost and newly found. We were catching-up on missed chapters and yet talked as if we were picking up a conversation that we started yesterday, as if no time passed between our last meeting and today. In the telling we consciously wove together the rich tapestry of our friendship-story, the necessary sharing of triumphs and tragedies. All important colors on the palette.

“When was the last time we were here?” she asked as we crossed the bridge into the sanctuary. More than a few years. “So much has happened,” she whispered. So much. We are different than the couple who held hands and crossed this bridge in the past. We no longer swim against the current. The wisdom of exhaustion. She saw the sculpture, Embrace of Life, turned and threw open her arms, mimicking the pose and said, “Yes!”

read Kerri’s blogpost about EMBRACE OF LIFE

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