Tacit Teachers [David’s blog on Not So Thawed Wednesday]

“Rilke recommended that when life became turbulent and troublesome, it was wise to stay close to one simple thing in nature.” ~ John O’Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings

For my one simple thing this winter, in these turbulent and troublesome times, I choose icicles. Or, perhaps it is more accurate to say that icicles have chosen me. We are spending an inordinate amount of time together.

When one is as up-close to icicles as I have been in these past weeks, it is impossible not to notice their unique self-expression; each has an individual personality, a beauty all their own. They are sculptural wonders. And yet, follow them back in drip-time and they originate from a single formless origin.

With hot water or Dan’s heat gun I attempt to alter their form and they laugh. I call myself an artist but am no match for their sculptor. That is why it is wise to stay close to them. They are tacit teachers. They put me and these troubled times into perspective.

They are a temporary map of the path of least resistance. And they are gloriously impermanent. Even in seeming stillness, they are moving, changing. Worthy reminders and ample reasons to keep them close. I am glad that they chose me for remedial instruction.

read Kerri’s blogpost about ICICLES

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Circulate The Good [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

The imaginary editorial board at Melange International is becoming impatient with me. They think that I have over-complicated the given assignment. What is so complex about focusing on the good?

To begin, I’d be a hypocrite to claim that I only focus on the good. I do not.

A quick read of my blog since inauguration day will provide ample evidence of my capacity to focus on the negative though I believe it is important, when the house is on fire, to alert others of the fire, to call out escape routes. It’s also helpful to try and put out the fire. Is that or is that not a focus on the good?

Isn’t it a relevant question – a good question – to ask, “Where can we focus our eyes and our energies to beat back and put out this fascist fire?” Sometimes a focus on the good seems dark.

Focus is a powerful thing. The power of focus is more than a cliché uttered by contemporary motivational speakers. It’s an age-old-concept. We will find what we seek. People who make gratitude a practice will end each day with a bucket of gratitude. People who make blaming a practice will end each day with a bucket of blame. People who make division their focus will live in – or more accurately – create divisive communities. People who make inclusion their focus will create inclusive supportive communities. People who focus on democracy will create (protect) democracy.

And then there’s the question, “To whom will we give our focus?” Our media makes it far easier to focus on The Arsonist. Ratings do not favor a focus on the Fire-fighters.

We are inundated with so many daily outrages that we are having a challenge sustaining a serious focus. Where do we focus with ICE kidnapping people off the streets, extrajudicial murders in the Caribbean, presidential grift, an inept and mostly absent congress, a Supreme Court that ignores the Constitution to expand presidential powers, the dismantling of education, collapse of healthcare, government protection of pedophiles…the dismantling of democracy. Sometimes it is hard to sustain a focus on the good through the forest of daily atrocity. It takes some effort, some dedication, to sustain a focus on the good.

Circulating the good is, of course, a team sport. It’s easier to sustain a focus on the good when surrounded by others who have the same dedication.

We check-in each night with Carl Blanchet. Last year he completed a hike of the Pacific Crest Trail (2650 miles) in less than 90 days. It was a personal challenge and a titanic effort. This year, he’s back again though this time he’s going slow. He’s enjoying the hike. We were drawn to follow him because of his positivity. Even in the worst circumstance, when confronted by an impossible obstacle, he finds the beauty in his day. He focuses on solutions or the kindness of trail angels, the generosity of other hikers, the awe of each sunset. And, although it might be possible to roll your eyes at such dedicated positivity, the truth is that he is a pragmatist. He is not denying the difficulties. He is dealing with them by focusing on the good. He’s done his research. He is prepared. He is not flying blind. He practices a focus on the opportunities, seeing the positive, choosing from the possibilities available in each moment.

He is a serious person and that is precisely why he doesn’t take any of it too seriously. He doesn’t get fixated on the problem or the pain. He intentionally circulates the good because he intentionally focuses on the good.

In these times, Carl serves as balm to clear our eyes from the smoke of rampant misinformation and preponderance of lies. He serves as a daily reminder that what we focus on is what we will, in fact, become. And what we become is what we will circulate.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE GOOD

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The Ace [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Twice in the past few months we’ve made a pilgrimage to the local Ace Hardware to seek the wise counsel of Kevin. He is not in a hurry. He listens. He commiserates with the odd issues that arise in a house built nearly 100 years ago. He invokes laughter and settles nerves. He doesn’t view his job as selling stuff. He views his job as helping people like us who come through the door with anxious faces betraying a single truth: we have a pressing problem and don’t know what to do or where to begin.

We returned from both pilgrimages with the magic solution: Backer Rod.

I did not know about Backer Rod prior to our sessions with Kevin. At first glance I doubted Kevin’s guidance, however, after following his instructions, our seeming impossible problem met a very worthy solution.

Our latest pressing problem was the new water feature in our sitting room. There’s a strange phenomenon in the midwest called “ice damming.” Ice overwhelms a gutter while the heat of the house simultaneously melts the underlayer, transforming the ice back into water that has nowhere to flow but inside the house. We first heard the drip, drip, drip at 11:39pm and worked through the night to melt the ice, clear the frozen gutters and popsicle downspout.

And still the water came.

Kerri and I are master improvisers, our solutions are often temporary, triage solutions, that work until the real fix-it-masters can come. In the case of our water feature, the fix-it-master, the gutter man and the electrician (a failed outlet is the real source of our pain, rendering the heating cable in the gutter useless), cannot come until the current ice age retreats and the ice encasing our house melts. Keep in mind that the ice melting is the source of our troubles since it has nowhere to go but into our sitting room.

So we ran to Kevin. He sent us home with Backer Rod, some words of wisdom, and some borrowed confidence that our band-aid solution would get us to the warmer weather while minimizing the river running into our home.

I’m heading out to follow his instructions. If this works, if Backer Rod stems the flow, then I fully intend to elevate Backer Rod to the high status of duct tape, baling wire and hot glue. I will elevate Kevin even higher.

We’ll keep you posted.

read Kerri’s blogpost about BACKER ROD

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If We Could See It [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

If we could see our souls I imagine they might look like the feathery phase of Sweet Autumn Clematis. Soft little shimmers that curl and twine so that there’s no way to tell which is yours and which is mine. It wouldn’t matter anyway since the spirals swirl and connect to a center spine that, in turn, winds, entwines and connects to other spines.

It’s snowing today so the world outside is quiet. We are waiting for the snow to get deeper before we tie on our boots and go for a walk-about. Dogga just came inside and was so snow-covered that he looked like an amber-eyed Samoyed. The quiet has me thinking about souls and time.

When I was a boy my siblings and I were outside having a snowball fight with my dad. He threw an errant snowball that widely missed its mark and shattered a window. We ran crazy uncontrollable loops in the snow not knowing if dad was in big trouble and wondering if dad’s-big-trouble would catch us, too. It’s a memory that makes me smile. I imagine our crazy-excited-running-in-the-snow is exactly how a soul moves – if we could see it.

We just watched a very moving video of late poet Andrea Gibson performing their piece, MAGA HAT IN THE CHEMO ROOM. Andrea recently died from cancer. When a soul wants us to know what matters and what does not, it looks for a poet. Souls know words are powerful magic that people mostly take for granted. Poets use words to reach-in-and-touch the essence of life so souls are careful when selecting the deliverer of their essential messages. Andrea Gibson was an awe-inspiring choice. Their words are like crazy kids running in the snow, the way a soul moves, swirling and winding and connecting and, in Andrea’s performance, soul shines so bright that we can see it.

read Kerri’s blogpost about SWEET AUTUMN CLEMATIS

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After All [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

We spent some time hanging out with Frank over the holiday. He is 93 and doing a stint in rehab. Frank is filled to the brim with great stories told with the laughing good humor of a man who has made a friend of folly. On our way out the door he said, “After all, isn’t that what’s most important in life, what life is about? Good friends. The relationships we enjoy. The time we spend together” We nodded and he added, “It seems like we have nothing to complain about.”

Frank is among my role-models for how to age well. Stay wide-open to new experiences. Believe in the goodness of people. Dance the twist at every opportunity. Laugh at yourself. Cultivate your mischief. Stand firmly planted in gratitude.

A few years ago I read about a comic whose performances and life blossomed when he realized that his job was not to make people laugh, rather, it was to bring them to their laughter. It’s subtle but profound: focus on what you bring to others, not on what you get from them. Later, as we prepared our Guinness Irish stew and mashed potatoes, I realized this simple message was Frank’s superpower, the reason why I admire him: even at 93 years old in rehab, even while facing an impossible mountain to climb, his focus was on what he could bring to us. There was not a hint of self-pity. There was no mention of his aches, pains or growing list of obstacles. He told fishing stories and regaled us with adventures from his youth. We laughed and bantered and left feeling full to the brim with great stories and good humor.

“After all, isn’t that what’s most important in life, what life is about? Good friends. The relationships we enjoy. The time we spend together” We nodded and Frank added, “It seems like we have nothing to complain about.”

read Kerri’s blogpost about GATHERING

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Shared [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

The waning sunflower stands vigil outside of the library, towering above us, perhaps nine or ten feet tall. Only a few short months ago it was vibrant, ablaze with yellow and viridian. Just as we had done in the summer, we stopped to say hello on our way into the building to check out a book. “It’s just as beautiful in decline,” she said, “only different.”

It is the day in these un-United States that we pause and give thanks. Although our tradition is based mostly on a myth, there are a few elements of the tale that are true. A horrible winter in which many of the settlers died was followed by a successful harvest made possible with the help of a native man named Tisquantum. “It is true that both the English settlers and Wampanoag people ate together…”

A successful harvest, shared.

Annie Dillard wrote, “Buddhism notes that it is always a mistake to think your soul can go it alone.” I have made that mistake in the past which is why, on this day, I am most grateful for my capacity to learn from my mistakes. I can trace my joy to the brilliant soul at my side and all the amazing souls who walk this walk with me. With us.

We celebrated early Thanksgiving with our children. We recently had dinner with our treasured Up-North-Gang. We regularly make dinner with 20. In recent times we’ve shared a meal with Dwight, with Arnie and Shelly, Kate and Jerry, Jen and Brad, Kelly…each a meal of thanks-giving.

It is a mistake on every level to think we can go it alone. Conservatives need progressives just as progress needs to be deeply rooted in tradition. Our tradition and our progress are the product – the abundant harvest – of ineradicable diversity. We are – as we have always been – a vibrant melange; people of various traditions learning how to eat together. We live in a global economy and are re-learning the hard way that there is no such thing as going it alone.

A successful harvest not only needs to be shared but is also made possible with the help and support of others.

Perhaps on this day we can be thankful for our capacity to learn from our mistakes. Perhaps we can, once and for all, drop the myth of rugged individualism and, as we prepare and enjoy our meals together, meals made possible by farmers and ranchers and truckers and bakers and grocers and inspectors…recognize that no one goes-it-alone. Gratitude shared.

read Kerri’s blog on this THANKSGIVING



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Clepe Incredible [David’s blog on KS Friday]

This is the time of year that color in nature becomes shocking. It is the consequence of nature’s contrast principle: the greys and browns of oncoming winter meet the vibrant yellow, orange and red of the leaves-last-stand. Last week, while walking Dogga, I stood for several minutes beneath a tree made electric by the morning light. I felt as if I had entered another reality.

Contrast principle is really about how comparison shapes perception. I only know that I’m having a bad day because I believe that I’ve had good days. Last night I watched Anderson Cooper interview Tig Nataro for his series exploring grief. Tig Nataro recently lost her friend, poet Andrea Gibson. The love of life comes clear in the moment of the loss of life. The appreciation of life sharpens when the end rolls into view. Contrast principle.

I bumbled into an archaic word that is new to me: clepe. It means to give someone or something a specified name. To name. I was cleped David. As my end rolls into view I am more and more resisting the impulse to clepe my days. Why should my days be labeled either good or bad? On my last day, what will I be willing to give to have one more moment of this life? Why not clepe incredible each and every moment that I am fortunate enough to experience?

LAST I SAW YOU on the album THIS PART OF THE JOURNEY © 1997 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s heart is available for sharing on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE VIBRANT LEAVES

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A Simple Thing [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

In our defense, we didn’t buy the cupcake. Our dear Jen heaped a dizzying array of treats upon us before we hit the road. Also, she knows us. I imagine she predicted that, at the end of ten hours of driving, a bit of snack-decadence with wine would warm our hearts and make us feel at home.

Everyone on earth should have a Jen: a friend who is dedicated to making your life better and easier.

Everyone on earth should be a Jen: a person who is dedicated to making the lives of the people in their circle better and easier. And, since the circles we populate are not fixed or exclusive, the intentional kindness would overlap, ripple, and literally connect us – each to one another in a dedication of support – making the world a better place.

The first time I met Kerri, climbing into the car at the airport, I found a sandwich and a hot cup of coffee waiting for me. She thought I might be hungry after traveling so far. It was such a simple thing, a generosity. It reinforced what I already knew about her, what I already loved about her.

Making the world a better place. It doesn’t seem that difficult but it does require asking a question that seems radical in a dog-eat-dog culture: what can I do to make your life better and easier? It’s really a question of responsibility, isn’t it? The Butterfly Effect.

Yes, I am fully aware of the impossibility of my idealism. Yet, how fortunate am I to have a friend like Jen? How utterly impossible is it that I met and married a woman like Kerri?

read Kerri’s blogpost about CUPCAKES AND WINE

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This [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

Emerging from the grocery store the sky literally stopped us in our tracks. We weren’t the only ones; harried shoppers racing their full carts to their cars were paralyzed by the beauty. Perfect strangers actually spoke to each other. “Can you believe it?”

“Unbelievable.”

We joined the sky paparazzi and snapped photos, ohhing and ahhing with every click. “You just can’t capture it.”

People joined in beauty. For a few precious moments, people dropped their hurry and their politics, their worries and their angst, and united in awe beneath the fiery performance in the sky. The abstractions dropped away. The performance pulled us together. Pure art.

The moment passed. We can only give so much time to awe. The spell was broken and we each jumped back into our busy lists and went our separate ways. I imagine – or it is my hope – that we left the parking lot knowing that it only takes a wee-bit-o-beauty to pull us from our harried, divided and lonely minds and remind us that – in truth – we walk this miracle earth together.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE SKY

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Nothing More Or Less [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

These days, our old Dogga enjoys lounging on the back deck, doing nothing more or less than watching the day unfold. He reminds me of my dad who, in his later years, enjoyed sitting on his back patio, doing nothing more or less than enjoying his moment.

A younger version of me did not appreciate the simple pleasure of inertia. Now, as we sit in the autumn sun watching the birds and squirrel antics, I understand. A younger version of me thought he had all the time in the world so paradoxically needed to fill up the time with things-to-do. When the illusion of immortality collapses, appreciating the limits of time takes precedence. Life. There is nothing more important than being present in the moment, and, in that fleeting precious moment, the world is alive with movement and sound and sensual pleasure. There is too much to take in. The broad awareness of the senses rules the day over the tight focus of a to-do list.

It’s a paradox, is it not? Abundance reveals itself in the presence of a limit.

The sunset on the night we were married was beyond belief. The sky exploded in deep purples, vibrant orange and crimson. I took it as a sign that this great spinning universe was delighted in our marriage. I’m a romantic that way. I like to think the universe affirms us and never thought I’d see its equal. So, ten years later (plus a day or two) the sunset over the harbor rivaled in color and power our marriage sunset. It literally pulled us to the water’s edge. It was so intense that people stopped talking, children stopped playing. There was no sound other than the clanging of buckles on masts. Awe is mostly quiet.

This great spinning universe gave us another impossibly beautiful sunset. I took it as an affirmation, a reason to be still. I took it as an opportunity to cherish the majesty of this unfolding day, with nothing more or less to do than hold hands and appreciate the vibrant colors of simple abundance as the sky moved through every color of the spectrum.

They Draw Sunsets In The Sand, mixed media on canvas

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE HARBOR SKY

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