The Original Impulse [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

To be honest, there was a profit motive driving the Melange when we began our daily writing practice. We had SO many cartoons and paintings and books and compositions and recordings sitting inert in our studios. Why not call attention to what we’d created? Kerri designed products, everything from art prints to leggings, that we offered through Society6 storefronts. Our cartoons and paintings and books and compositions and recordings remain inert in our studios. The storefronts realized anemic sales at best, so we eventually let them lapse. But the daily writing remains. We love it. We write together to write together. There is no other reason.

I’m not sure why I began drawing when I was a wee-lad. I only know that the impulse was pure. I had to draw. There was nothing I’d rather do in all the world than draw and paint. It was a necessity, like breathing.

The arc of an artists life eventually leads to the need to sell (the utility companies do not accept paintings or CD’s as payment. Plus, artists like to eat just like all other professionals). The pure impulse is necessarily mixed with the need to produce something that sells. Along the way there are ongoing conversations and questions with other artists about relevance. The pure impulse gets confused and necessarily questions its worth.

Questions of worth can be a killer if not followed all the way to the source. I know many artists who’ve set down their brushes and locked forever their studio doors. I know a legion of actors who waved the white flag and stopped auditioning. Some channeled their creative energy into other forms. Some did not.

Questions of worth, if pursued, inevitably arrive at questions of Why. The cycle comes around, just as it did for us in our Melange. We thought we were writing to make money but, as it turns out, we were writing because we love to write. Together. The impulse is pure. There’s nothing we’d rather do.

We are arriving at the same epicenter of Why with our other art forms. Why does Kerri compose? Why do I paint? Both of us are reaching back to the original impulse, cleaning out the confusion. In her past there is a young girl who climbed a special tree to write poetry just as in mine there is a young boy who painted through the night on his bedroom wall and was surprised by the sunrise. She stands at the door of her studio and stares at her piano, the young girl stands on the other side of the room staring back. I stand in the center of my studio and stare at my easel, the younger version of me stands beyond my easel. He is patient. He knows I know my Why.

20 brought Kerri tulips for her birthday. Not only has she enjoyed them but she has photographed their life cycle. She walks through life with her camera at the ready. The impulse is pure. She loves it. Nothing more, nothing less. “Lookit!” she exclaims, turning to show me her photos.

“I see prompts for future blogposts,” I say and she smiles. The impulse is pure.

PAX, 24″x24″, mixed media on panel

read Kerri’s blogpost about TULIPS

likesharecommentsupportthankyou

Their Spell [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

Had it been my job to name them they would have never been associated with mourning. Instead of sad or haunting, I find the song of mourning doves reassuring. It is soothing. Calming doves. Reassuring doves.

In the spring and summer their song is often the first thing I hear in the morning. While the coffee brews I let Dogga out; I pause at the backdoor and appreciate the cool morning air and the mourning dove serenade. They are quiet heralds of appreciation for all-the-life approaching in the upcoming day.

This year we have a mourning dove couple in residence. I’ve not yet discovered their nest but they are regulars, pecking in the yard. They are daily visitors at the bird-bath-drink-n-spa. They perch on the wires or the roof of the neighbors garage and sing their siren song, spinning a spell of serenity over us as we sit and absorb the sun. Dogga chases them. They squawk and complain but always return when he settles on the deck for a snooze.

In these disconcerting times I am especially appreciative of their spell, their gift of equanimity. Serenity is slippery in the daily dose of malicious chaos but the mourning doves, our singers of tranquility, always bring me home to my heart, slow my breathing, quiet my troubled mind. Magic doves.

read Kerri’s blogpost about MOURNING DOVES

likesharecommentsupportthankyou

Time To Linger [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

These days Dogga rarely bursts out of the house to clear the yard of marauding squirrels and trespassing birds. Now he lopes out the backdoor, stands at the end of the deck, finds a good cool spot, lays down and surveys his vast territory. We tease that he is doing what my dad, Columbus, did in his final chapter. He sat in the shade and thought his thoughts.

The thimbleweed along the trail reminds me of cotton. The pods usually release their seeds in the fall but sometimes they hang on through the winter. I wonder if these seeds have missed their moment. They hung on too long. Is this puffy white cluster a failure to launch or are these the seeds of an older plant that no longer needs to toss wild dreams into the future? Perhaps it is time to linger.

Yesterday was a particularly nasty day outside. We binge-watched an entire season of Virgin River. One of the characters, in a moment of crisis, realized that she was trying very hard to hang onto an identity – a version of herself – that was no longer relevant. Life had stripped away a layer of her mask. She needed to let go. I completely understood her revelation. Old dreams need not fly from the pod in search of fertile ground. Sometimes old dreams are just that: old. Letting go makes space for new dreams and new questions. It clears space for Now. There is certainly no end to life’s questions.

We had a rare day of sun. We bagged all of our plans, pulled out our chairs and basked. In truth, our decision to sit in the sun was about Dogga. Rather than leave and explore the world, we chose to sit in the sun with him. His favorite thing to do is hang out with us. There is no end to our questions but there is absolute clarity in our priorities. How long will we have him with us? We don’t really know. What we do know is that there is nothing more important than surveying vast territory with him. We would regret forever if we lost ourselves in the pursuit of old dreams and missed this moment, this time to linger with him.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THIMBLEWEED

likesharecommentsupportthankyou

Ready To Drop [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

When Albert was discouraged about the state of humanity he’d say, “Just drop the bomb.” Although I haven’t seen him in years I heard myself whisper his discouragement-phrase this morning. How is it possible in a democracy that one of the major parties, after their gerrymander scheme backfired, would actually legislate to make it impossibly hard for citizens to vote? The news aptly reported, “It’s a solution looking for a problem.” Voter fraud is literally nonexistent in the USA. On the other hand fearmongering is alive and well. Lying has been elevated to an art form.

“They’ve lost the plot,” I murmured. “Just drop the bomb.”

That we are witnessing our government protect an international ring of pedophiles, bomb a nation to smithereens (kill people) without a reason, assault the once-free-press because they dare to report the news, isolate itself in a global economy (otherwise known as commit economic suicide), mountain-ize our national debt to give the morbidly-wealthy more wealth while simultaneously eliminating services and erecting obstacles for the citizenry, assault the very epicenter: our right to vote in a free and fair election…it begs the question: Did they ever really believed in government by, for, and of the people? This depth of depravity did not spring fully formed from the thigh of Zeus; it took decades of dedicated decomposition to achieve this degree of stink.

Last week, before the blizzard, before the power outage, before the impossibly bent power mast, the shattered roof shingles, the driving rain that found its way into the sun room, we sat in chairs on the patio and faced the setting sun. A rare day of warmth. We knew the storms were coming so we put off our work and banked some vitamin-D. The sun dropped behind the garage. It remained pleasant. In the waning light we ate dinner on the deck.

Those moments in the sun, the decision to delay work and take advantage of the precious warmth, gave us ample fuel to weather the cold and violent storm. It refilled our hope.

Albert’s famous phrase had an attachment. He’d follow “Just drop the bomb,” with, “We don’t deserve it.” When I asked him what he meant by “it”, he’d gesture, sweeping his arms in a wide arc. “All of it.” The beauty and majesty of life. The gift of each other.

After I heard myself utter, “Just drop the bomb,” I caught myself. “We do deserve it.” We deserve decency and honesty in our leaders. We not only deserve it but should expect it. We deserve media that does not whip up straw-men to intentionally divide us. We deserve a government that serves us rather than exploits us. They have, indeed, lost the plot.

Perhaps, as history suggests, we will survive this chapter when we recognize – when our government recognizes – that the people they are meant to serve ARE the bomb. They are in our sights and we are ready to drop.

We deserve better.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE SETTING SUN

likesharecommentsupportthankyou

The Naked Truth [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

Watching a time-lapse of the vine you’d swear it was a conscious creature. Tendril arms search for supports, stretching. seeking and grasping, it knots itself around leaves and stems of competitors, twisting to strengthen its grip, competing to secure its place in the sun. It begs the question, how might we humans be in the world if we understood that plants were conscious, like us, awake and aware of their surroundings? Would we be more awake and aware of our surroundings? Or would we fear green consciousness and fill our mythos-minds with a Little Shop of Horrors? Feed Me!

This vine evokes The Gordian Knot. It is a tale in three parts. The first is the existence of an impossible problem. The second is the ease of the unforeseen solution. The third is the fulfillment of promise and prophesy. It seems in these times we have in these un-United States a substantial Gordian Knot. I am anxiously awaiting the unforeseen solution.

A Gordian Knot suggests that bold action is necessary to cut through a complex problem. In our case bold action is not a sword but the voices of innocence: in the story an innocent punched through the chorus of enablers by telling the emperor the truth. He is, in fact, naked. His majesty is make-believe. Our emperor already knows he is naked but surrounds himself with loud sycophants and bullies his fear-driven court to sing the praises of his imaginary cloak. The decades-long rape of innocents, the recent bombing of innocents, is a sharp sword cutting through the illusion.

Truth-telling in the face of rampant pathological lies is a bold action. It fits the bill. Truth-telling is, after all, surprisingly easy and, in time, always slices the hard knot of misinformation. It is now the only way for us to protect and fulfill the promise of our democracy against the would-be-fascists (republicans). The sharp truth, the voice of the innocents, calling out and cutting through the Gordian Knot of the Epstein Class and those who are afraid of shining light on the naked truth.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE VINE

likesharesupportcommentthankyou

Go Empty [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

Among my vast archives of good-advice-received is a gem from Karola. I’ve often written about her wisdom: “Let yourself go empty,” she said. She laughed knowing that “going empty” would be a struggle for me. There is nothing more vulnerable or frightening for a young artist than to admit that their well is dry. What if the muse never comes back? “Going empty” at that phase of my life was akin to abandoning my identity. It felt like a step into the void.

As it turns out going empty was among the best things I ever did for myself. It stands among the greatest lessons I’ve ever learned. Spring requires winter. All budding artists eventually learn that artistry is not what you do – it is who you are. Going empty is the path to learning it. Karola knew exactly what I needed to hear and when I needed to hear it.

Have you not, at one time or another, been left in awe at an insight that comes from a confluence of seeming random experiences? Pieces of a puzzle coming together in what might seem arbitrary but is, in fact, a magic key that unlocks the door to deeper understanding? Last week, after wrestling for months with a play, I decided to leave it alone for awhile. In truth, after wrestling for months, I finally wrote a section that had merit – and when I saved the file it simply disappeared. Poof! After several attempts to find and retrieve the file, my computer insisted that the file was corrupted. I took it as a sign. Give it some space. Leave it alone.

Just as I’d decided to let the project go, we received a message from a man who wanted to buy the remains of my rocking chair. This chair has lived in every studio I’ve ever occupied. Except for my easel it is the only piece of furniture I’ve carried through my nomadic life. In our most recent basement flood a pipe burst directly above the chair, blasting the caning and destroyed the seat, damaging the finish and annihilating a hardcover sketchbook resting on the arm. I decided my chair deserved a better place-in-the-world. It deserved to be with someone who could properly restore it and take better care of it. The message from a buyer sent me reeling. I, of course, denied it. Kerri saw my distress and helped me see it. Every single painting I’ve created in my adult life was rocked into existence in that chair. It’s history was my history. We told the buyer that the chair was already spoken for.

I sat for several minutes with the remains of my chair. There was no one on earth who could better care for it because there was no one on earth who cared more about it than me.We’ll find someone who does caning. We’ll find an upholsterer who can repair the damage and replace the seat or we’ll do it ourselves.

I turned all my canvases to the wall, turned off the salt lamp and climbed the stairs. I met Kerri in the sunroom where we ate Munchos, drank wine, and debriefed the day. I confessed my revelation: I was going to sell my chair because I did not feel worthy of it – which, of course, is a statement not at all about the chair. It was a jolt akin to the discovery of a secret passageway that leads to a hidden chamber of secrets. A lingering question of worth.

Later it felt like opening the window and bringing fresh air to rush into a long-sealed dark and stale room.

I felt exhausted. I felt relieved. I felt as if I could breathe.

“It’s time to go empty.” I heard Kerri say. I heard Karola laughing. Jump into the void. This time, no timid stepping: jump. Really jump. Clear space for a worthy abundant spring.

read Kerri’s blog about the MUNCHO HEART

likesharecommentsupportthankyou

Do What You Say [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

A note to the right-wing podcast ecosystem (as inspired by the fence-sitting-squirrel, a silhouette, an image obscured by a screen):

Dear Joe Rogan and Co.: With this latest betrayal – a war declared by your America-First president – it is probably occurring to you (at long last) that you have been deceived. I understand there was already a tiny crack in your unwavering belief since you’ve recently realized that, despite his full-throated campaign promise to expose the Epstein Files, he is actually implicated in them, and will go to great lengths, even going to war, to keep them concealed. He lied to you about the Files. He lied to you about America First. He lied to you about being a champion of the little guy. I hope it is not lost on you that the Epstein Class of billionaires are enjoying their massive tax break while the rest of us are finding day-to-day life less and less affordable.

He lies. Until now, you’ve either swallowed, justified or explained away his lies. It is my hope that you are finally opening your eyes and seeing the extent and pervasiveness of his lies. He has no intention of cleaning the swamp because he is the swamp. To that end I hope you are also now growing savvy to his endless claim-without-evidence that the 2020 election was rigged. It was not. That, too, is a lie. It’s more important now than ever that you awaken to this particular lie because he is claiming that all of our elections – especially the upcoming midterms – are rigged against him.

Do you see the pattern? While he lies to you he simultaneously strips you of your rights. Due process is a right that is already violated; it either applies to all or to none-at-all. A free and fair election is also your right. Despite what he proclaims we have always enjoyed honest, safe and fair elections – until now. Mail in ballots are safe. They always have been. You can check it out if you don’t believe me. “Illegals” are not pouring over the border to vote. That’s a straw man, an intentional misrepresentation meant to deceive you and keep you angry. His latest SAVE act would block millions of voters from exercising their right to vote.

Because of the success of his incessant lies our democracy now teeters on the edge of authoritarianism. The only chance we have is to come together, guard and secure our next election. We may not agree on much but I am assuming that we can all agree that our right to vote is worth protecting. Our vote is, after all, the epicenter of our republic and the liar is moving to take that right away. To do it, to be successful, he needs you to continue to believe his lies. He needs you to forget the Epstein Files lie. He needs you to believe every lie he tells about our latest war with Iran, Venezuela and Equador. He needs you to embrace every single lie he tells about voter fraud. Most of all, he needs you to promote and spread his lies.

He needs you to consider me and those like me, progressives, as the enemy. That, too, is a lie. We have the same goal: a healthy democracy – and deserve a government that serves us and not the Epstein Class. We deserve a government that honestly debates the best path forward which requires it to deal in truth and not hide behind lies.

You have a voice, a platform. I – we- can only ask that you take an honest look at the yawning gap between what you’ve been told, what you’ve been led to believe – and what has actually transpired. We are now at war. The president is actively covering up the Epstein Files. There is no truth or proof to his claims of voter fraud.

If you desire free and fair elections this fall, we, the nation, need you to challenge the lies and speak to what you now see. We-the-people need you use your platform to protect the veracity of our elections. Literally put America first – rather than assist the liar in his authoritarian takeover – do what you say you believe and lend your voice – give your voice – to the protection our democracy.

Weeping Man, 36″x48″, mixed media

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE SCREEN

likesharecommentsupportthankyou

Making Meaning Meaning Making [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

As I was filing my latest painting into the stacks I was suddenly overwhelmed with intense gratitude at having lived an artist’s life. My appreciation was not so much about the growing rolls and stacks of paintings but at the inner imperatives that made me throw caution to the economic wind and chase a my deeper calling. And the truth is that I never felt like I had a choice. Twice I tried to jump off the path and do something more reasonable-and-secure and both times it nearly gutted me.

Horatio reminded me of Ernest Becker’s definition of the work of an artist in his book, The Denial of Death: “The artist takes in the world, but instead of being oppressed by it, he reworks it in his own personality and recreates it in the work of art”.

Making meaning, meaning making through color, sound, movement and word.

There’s so much in this world – in this nation at the moment – that is oppressive and cruel. None of the mean-spirited incompetence or the incessant lies or the blatant exploitation makes sense to me. Why would an entire political party participate in the cover-up of an international pedophile ring, stand solidly behind a convicted felon, a man found liable for sexual assault, an insurrectionist opening grifting the nation and bullying the world? Standing in front of an easel, working on a play or writing a daily blog – is the only way I know of making sense of it all, translating my disgust into something more useful and meaningful.

I have grown enamored of the winter reeds and grasses. On a section of a favorite trail there is an area of distressed drainage. In the summer it is a gathering place for turtles. In the winter the water freezes and the amber grasses sway on a field of blue ice and snow. It never fails to capture our attention. It never fails to bring us back to a quiet center, in touch with an enduring truth. I listen to the whisper-song of the grasses as Kerri photographs the play of colors. Standing in the mud and the cold we marvel at our good fortune.

“People create the reality they need in order to discover themselves.” ~ Ernest Becker

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE GRASSES

likesharecommentsupportthankyou

Hitched To Everything [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

If you are not paying attention you could walk right by them and never know that they are there. They are experts of stillness. They are masters of vanishing.

“Keep close to Nature’s heart… and break clear away, once in awhile, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean.” ~ John Muir

We quietly hoped we’d see them. It was a special day and we desired an affirmation of all things good. The trail was both muddy and icy, hard to navigate. We were on the verge of turning back but decided to go just a bit further. Had we turned back we would not have seen them.

Our messengers from another world did not disappoint. They leapt, white tails flashing in the sun, making certain we did not miss them. And then they were still. Watching us watching them.

“I understood at a very early age that in nature, I felt everything I should feel in church but never did. Walking in the woods, I felt in touch with the universe and with the spirit of the universe.” ~ Alice Walker

They are teachers of presence. It is no wonder that they have come to symbolize spiritual renewal. In my stillness, in my presence, all the roiling troubles of the troubled-human-world dropped away. I think it is what John Muir meant: my spirit was washed clean.

“When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.” ~ John Muir

After they delivered their message and leapt toward the river, I recognized that what is accessible in the woods is also available in my studio. Presence. My brushes hitch me to everything else in the Universe. It is one reason why I am so extraordinarily lucky. If I do not go to nature to wash clean my spirit, nature comes to find me in my work.

read Kerri’s blogpost about DEER


likesupportsharecommentthankyou

Back In The Day [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

Our basement archeological dig has revealed a punch bowl. I asked Kerri if she ever used it and she said “Yes. Back in the day.” She told me that she made punch with 7 Up and sherbet. I stared at her like she was an alien creature. I have a hard time reconciling the image of the woman I know, the one who wears boots and black thermal shirts, the woman who stands at her piano and plays it so passionately that it hops…with the woman who makes sherbet-&-7-Up punch in a cut-glass bowl.

I had to sit down and take a few deep breaths.

We had to renew our driver’s licenses a few weeks ago and the new versions just arrived in the mail. It is always shocking to compare the photos. My new license betrays a white white beard while in the previous photo I sported a more salt-n-pepper look. “They photoshopped my face!” I gasped. She rolled her eyes. I thought that whipping up a good government conspiracy was a more potent explanation than facing the truth of my face. When in Rome…

This week I complete another lap around the sun. This one is a milestone. It has me in a full-blown life review. I did not accumulate stuff in my passage across adulthood but if I had, in my deep archives, I’m certain we’d find an artifact, a punch bowl equivalent, something long forgotten, that would make Kerri ask, “Did you ever use this?” And I’d say, “Yes. Back in the day.”

So many chapters. So many miles walked. So many changes and lessons and losses and revelations. It makes me sit down and take a few deep breaths. It fills me with intense gratitude that this is where my punch bowl brought me.

*****

(A short scene:

Children of the Future: What’s this old piece of paper?

Us: It’s called The Constitution.’

Children of the Future: Did you ever us it?

Us: Yes. Back in the day.

We sit down and take a few breaths)

A self portrait (detail) from long ago.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE PUNCH BOWL

likesharecommentsupportthankyou