On The Day of “How?” [David’s blog on KS Friday]

Thoughts from the trail on day number 2 of a new year:

In my distant past I led workshops and retreats. Attendees, after having a significant revelation, would inevitably ask, “How do I take what I now know back into my day-to-day life?” At the time I generally threw the question back at them. “How do you take it back?” There is no formula.

How do we integrate new wisdom into ancient patterns? How do we weave our dreams into our white-knuckle-grip on reality?

There are ubiquitous platitudes that offer not-very-helpful-advice: “Out with the old and in with the new.” “Just do it.” “Pull up your bootstraps.” “Put on your big-boy pants.” These bromides are built upon faulty notions that 1) change is a one-and-done achievement rather than an ongoing process, 2) change is a linear path, and 3) change is something done all-by-yourself in a vacuum.

We only know ourselves in relationship to others. There is no arrival platform in this ever-changing life. Although we would like it to be otherwise, learning (change) is cyclical – it is never linear – and has no end (well, there is one definitive hard-stop).

I could have responded to my attendees with a question like this: To what story are you married? What makes your new insight a threat to the old story? Can you relax, breathe and detach from parts of the old story? I might have suggested that the question “how” presumes needing to know before acting. Is it possible that knowing “how to do it” is something seen after the fact? What if the “how” of taking a revelation back into life can only be understood after it is experienced? And what if “how” is a series of discoveries that never end?

I worked with a man who preached that people only change when, “The pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of making the change.” There is some truth to his belief. Pain is a potent motivator. Not-knowing can be unpleasant and very few people willingly walk into discomfort. Discord is a prerequisite of concord. And, vice versa.

Yearning is painful. Holding a dream can be excruciating. Stepping toward a vision can be scary as well as exhilarating. Staying the course in the face of internal opposition is a choice that is made again and again with each new step. And, each new step reveals previously unseen possibilities.

Revelations create new images, updated visions. What if the only thing that matters is stepping toward the vision – especially knowing that each new step will inform and alter the vision? And, what if standing still or temporarily turning away is actually an action: moving toward rather than running from? There is grace in recognizing readiness.

Thoughts to myself from the trail on day number 2 of a new year. It is the day that the fog of holiday celebrations clear and we begin to doubt our resolutions and question the strength of our revelations. It is the day we ask, “How?”

BLUEPRINT FOR MY SOUL on the album BLUEPRINT FOR MY SOUL © 1995 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE BRANCH

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A Symbol of Hope [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

There is no more appropriate symbol on the first day of the new year than the pine cone. It is an ancient symbol that reaches across cultures and religions. Spiritual awakening, inner vision, new growth, enduring spirit.

When we were married, Joan gave us a box of pine cones. We’ve followed her suggestion and each year commit a cone to fire to release the seeds. New life. The symbology also includes resilience because fire is often required to free the seeds. Fire transforms.

2025 was like a forest fire in these un-United States. It is my hope, our hope, that the hot authoritarian fire of 2025 released the seeds of democracy’s renewal, that we awaken – reawaken – to the enduring spirit of our diverse nation and the promise of equality under the law, the expectation of liberty and justice for all. It is the epicenter, the aspiration-seed planted by our founders and protected by our Constitution.

On this, the first day of this new year, 2026, there is no more appropriate symbol of hope for our future than the pine cone.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE PINECONE

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So, Really? [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

It’s the eve of the new year.

This is the season that holiday cards arrive in the mail. Often, the card is accompanied with a letter reviewing the senders’ events-of-the-past 365 days*. Those letters are necessarily reductions and always make me wonder what didn’t make the cut. What is the abundant story told between the lines? What is the story of abundance edited out for holiday-brevity?

For instance, if I tried to share our experiences from yesterday – the life events of a single day – it would be a novel. My holiday card would be tucked into page 392 of my account of a single day of life. Would you like to know that we took a walk? Is it relevant to know that on our walk we discussed the many people we lost this year? There have been many. We told stories of the-last-time-we-saw-them. Our stories of loss evoked a deep appreciation of life. We shared dreams of the future. There are many dreams. Yearnings, in fact. In a single minute we laughed hysterically at the antics of our grown children, during a recent brief visit, racing through the house opening closet doors to find both forgotten treasures and fodder to torture their mother – and then we fell into silence wondering when we would see them again. Human stuff. Longing bouncing against laughter. We do that a lot: bounce joy off of sadness, pull awe out of desolation. She stopped suddenly and knelt in the snow, the beauty-tug of the sprig of pine needles against the ice-cold-blue-blue was too much to pass by. The many, many moments of heart-tug would feature prominently in our novel-length-holiday-letter-recounting-of-a-single-average-day.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate knowing that Junior made the soccer team or that in April the family got new iPhones. Achievements and advancements are nice to know. In that spirit, did you know that we have new gutters? The gutters were my gift this year to Kerri. She got me a new fuel pump for the truck. The real story, however, the interesting part of the life-tale, is the reason we needed new gutters in the middle of December. And what is the wild story behind the fuel pump?

Necessity always makes for a great story. So does the collision of yearning and obstacle. I wonder what inner-imperative drove Junior to soccer?

Everyone wants to put a good face on their passage. We do too. I’m more than willing to redact my days and paint a smile on my life-message. Yet, every time I read a holiday message printed on holly-decorated-paper, I wish that I could have a single hour with the holiday letter writer. We’d brew a cup of coffee, sit together in the sun and I’d ask, “So, really, what gets you up in the morning?”

*read historian Heather Cox Richardson’s review of the events of 2025

read Kerri’s blogpost about PINE ON SNOW

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Drop Into The Moment [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

In the summer months the deer trails are difficult to spot. In the winter, the opposite is true. With the absence of foliage and a clean canvas of snow, while the deer remain elusive, their well-traveled pathways are easy to see.

In mythology, deer are often messengers or guides. They call us to kindness, presence and remind us to trust our instincts. I especially appreciate the call to presence since it is there that kindness and the purity of instinct can be found.

Retribution is about past grievance. Fear is a monster born of an imagined future. Both retribution and fear would have us turn our backs on the present moment. They would have us ignore the deer because they cannot survive in the present moment. The present is, after all, the only place that is actually real, substantial. It is in the realm-of-the-real that kindness abounds; it is the only place that the quiet voice of intuition can be heard.

It never fails. When we see a deer on the trail our laundry list of woes immediately evaporates. The deer calls us into the present. We stop all movement just as the deer has stopped. It models presence for us. We drop into the moment with it. We feel. We listen. We meet its eyes. It senses us and we sense it. There is no past grievance or future fear. There is nothing more important to do or a place more compelling to be. Time suspends. We fill ourselves with the awe of the relationship-of-the-moment.

And then, just as quickly, the deer leaps and is gone. It releases us. We reenter time. Refreshed. Giddy. Light of spirit. Reminded once again of the power of living in the present.

In the presence of the deer we are no longer lost in our minds. That is its message to us, its encouragement for how to best live our lives.

In the summer months we convince ourselves that they are rare, hard to spot. In the winter months, we are reminded by their tracks that, although we may not see them, these guides are all around us. Their message to us is always available. Always.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE DEER

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Hear The Gentle Tapping [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

“May peace gently find you and fall upon your heart.” ~ Anonymous

It seems like a tall order, doesn’t it? Especially now in our era of conflict, chaos, division, turmoil…I suppose that is the point of a wish or blessing. There would be no need to pray for peace falling upon our hearts if our hearts were peaceful.

I imagine Peace looking for us. We can’t be that hard to find.

The children’s book version of Peace’s search for humankind would not be about a search for humankind but a vigil at the doorway of the heart of humankind. Peace has already found us. It knows where we are. Peace surrounds us and is quietly tapping on our heart’s door.

We must be afraid to let it in. What else?

Timothy Snyder wrote, “Freedom is not an absence but a presence, a life in which we choose multiple commitments and realize combinations of them in the world. Virtues are real, as real as the starry heavens…”

Peace is like Timothy Snyder’s freedom. It is a presence. It doesn’t go away in the face of war. It waits patiently for us to open our heart’s door. To choose it.

It is not made of ethereal stuff. It is real. It is tangible, as substantial as is conflict. Like virtues, Peace is real as the starry heavens. To borrow phrasing from Timothy Snyder, Peace “is a life in which we choose multiple commitments and realize combinations of it in the world.”

A wish for the new year: May we hear the gentle tapping at our heart’s door and open it to Peace. May we choose it. May we allow it to enter and gently fall upon and open our closed hearts.

read Kerri’s blogpost about PEACE

May peace fall softly upon your world and stay in your heart forever. ~~ Kahlil Gibran

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Fall Into Togetherness [David’s blog on KS Friday]

“We have fallen out of belonging. Consequently, when we stand before crucial thresholds in our lives, we have no rituals to protect, encourage, and guide us as we cross over into the unknown.” ~ John O’Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings

What does it mean to fall out of belonging?

This season brings us Christmas and Hanukkah and Rajab. Since they are rituals of identity they are cycles of renewal. They affirm these are my people and with them I know who I am and what I value. Each year, through our rituals, we reaffirm who we are and what we believe. It is one way – perhaps the most important way – of understanding the return of the light.

To fall out of belonging means that the rituals are enacted but their purpose has collapsed. They are no longer the glue that binds but have dissipated to become merely economic. To fall out of belonging is to be alone together. It is to be valueless since value is an aspect of relationship-with-the-whole. To fall out of belonging means there is no whole – and no way personally or communally to be whole.

That seems like an apt description of this nation once again at war with itself, dismantling every value, trying to sort out whether belonging is inclusive or exclusive. Are we equal under the law or unequal members in an ever uglier caste system? Who are we and where are we headed?

The glass blocks on the stairway seemed an appropriate metaphor for this threshold we are about to cross into the new year. The image is murky at best.

I used to be certain that I did not belong until an unlikely voice challenged my certainty. “Belonging is not an issue,” she said. I realized how wedded I’d become to my story of not-belonging. Not belonging was central to my identity as an artist. My culture defines artists as deviant. I laughed aloud when I realized that my place on the margin was my role in the society, it was how I belonged.

I also realized that It was not so much that I didn’t belong to my society but that I did not want to belong to it. It frightened me, this community that regularly conflates money with morality. This society that fears facing the totality of its history.

What I learned then is more true now: belonging is not the issue. The issue is to what kind of society do we want to belong. It’s the relevant question – the only relevant question – we need to ask ourselves as we stand on this threshold, preparing the ritual parties and fireworks, as we decide where we will be and what we will do at midnight of the 31st, as we make resolutions that will carry us into the new year and into who we want to become.

Belonging is not passive. It is not a given but requires our participation and commitment to renewal of what we value.

To what kind of society do we want to belong? The answer to that question will determine the society that we will create. It is up to us to determine which unknown we will cross into, whether we will continue to fall out of belonging and further into the dark divide – or whether we will choose to fall into togetherness, as our rituals of renewal, when truly valued, have always aspired: out of many, one.

TIME TOGETHER on the album THIS PART OF THE JOURNEY © 1998 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s music is available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about GLASS BLOCKS

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If We So Choose [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

We had a debate about the painting on my easel that was so passionate, so intense, that Dogga thought we were having an argument and fled to the his safe-spot in the bathroom. We were startled out of our vehemence, laughed at ourselves and loved on him, reassuring him that all was right in the world.

We celebrate the return of the light. Depending upon the tradition, the celebration-of-light’s-return takes many forms and expresses through beautiful and unique rituals and symbols. The lighting of candles. The exchange of gifts. The sharing of a meal. If you think about it, each of these rituals, across all of the various traditions, are meant to bring us together. Light’s return is a symbol of hope, an annual call to the possibility of unity. Many paths, one mountain.

It is the time of year that we are for a moment capable of acknowledging the impact of our vehemence and actions upon others. It is the time of year that we at least pretend to desire peace on earth; it is the time that we sing songs of goodwill toward others. We ask it of our gods but know deep down that it is a wish that only we can grant if we so choose.

We first must choose it.

Our choices on this day? We will walk a snowy trail and revel in the quiet. We will come home, laugh at ourselves, share a meal and love on our Dogga, his unconditional love reassures us each-and-every-day that all is right in the world. Grateful, we will light our happy-lights, and crawl under a blanket.

read Kerri’s blogpost about BLANKETS AND SOCKS

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The Ever-Green [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

As we sat down to write, she said, “Who knows what will happen in a week.” It sparked a minor revelation for me. We are writing this post a full week ahead of publishing, which is unusual for us. We generally write a day or two ahead but rarely in our Melange writing have given ourselves this much of a head start. In fact, we’ve maintained our seven day lead for the past two weeks. My minor revelation: In these divisive times, when we write a day or two before posting, we are more likely to focus on the latest outrage. We are reactive. When we write several days ahead, we are more likely to focus on something generative, positive. We are intentional.

Standing in the present we are often overwhelmed by the brutality of the current regime. We wonder at the people who voted for and continue to support such mean-spirited-immorality.

Staring into the future we see and believe in the inherent goodness of people. We are often taken by the beauty and generosity that surround us.

It hasn’t always been this way. This time-related-split-focus is unique to this age of attempted authoritarian takeover of our nation. Prior to this monstrous administration we generally focused on the goodness, the people and places that inspired us – whether we were writing a single day or a week ahead.

Kerri and I are not religious (well, she comes from a Lutheran tradition and I must have been a mashup between a Druid and Buddhist in a past life) so the two symbols that populate our home during the holidays are trees and lights. Trees with lights. There are little trees popping up everywhere. There is a tiny tree in my studio and one on her piano.

Last night, staring at the tiny tree that sits on the bistro table in our sunroom, I thought it a perfect symbol for our times. The evergreen is an ancient symbol, associated with the solstice, the return of the light. The tree and its boughs represent – and have always represented – the end of the dark times. It once represented the healing of the ailing sun and its return to health. It proffers a promise of good times ahead.

The little tree on our table helped me grok my minor revelation. Metaphorically – and literally – we are currently standing in darkness. It is immediate and necessary to write about the monsters that plague us. It is heartbreaking to watch the rapid decline of our ailing nation.

Yet, moving through the solstice in its various forms of celebration, when we look into the future we hold out hope for the inevitable return of the light. It beckons, like the little trees, and promises the return of kindness and the restoration of health to the hearts of the people and to the nation. And, when that day arrives, we will no doubt retire our split focus, leave the darkness and dark days behind, and re-establish a singular focus on the generative, the light, the ever-green.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE TREE

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Like Freshly Fallen Snow [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

I wonder if you are having the same reaction that I am having? Each time I see an article or video about the year-in-review I slam closed my computer. I change the channel. I flee the room. I don’t want to review, revisit, reconsider, ruminate upon or attempt to make sense of what happened in this nation – to this nation – in the past 365 days.

People review the events of the year-gone-by so they might turn their eyes to the blank-page-hope for the future, just as it is common for people to slowly wander the rooms, touching walls and doorknobs – saying goodbye to their house before it is put onto market.

Mostly, the walk-through-the-past is meant to help us connect to who we are, reinforce what we value, to reaffirm what most matters before stepping into the unknown future and the forces of change. We touch the walls, not only to say goodbye, but to carry their spirit forward with us.

I’ve no need to touch the walls and doorknobs of the past 365 days. Through contrast, the events of the past year have already served to affirm what I believe and sharply clarify what I value. They have opened my eyes to both the deepest ugly and the brightest light in this democratic experiment, in human nature – and in my nature.

Lately, Kerri and I have been cleaning out the house. We’ve been discarding what is no longer useful. We’ve been re-imagining our space. We’ve been doing the same work in our relationship and with the people who populate our world. We are rounding the corner into the new year perhaps clearer than we’ve ever been. We know what side of the divide we stand on. As the nation soils itself and the communal nest, we are cleansing and simplifying our home, affirming our ideals and our sanctuary.

It’s been true our entire lives together: a new snow beckons us to strap on our boots and make a play-path in search of a bit of adventure and an opportunity to be surprised by beauty. It is this spirit that we carry forward into 2026. The blank-page-hope beckons like freshly fallen snow. Strapping on our boots we actively and intentionally step into the expansive white canvas eager to cultivate our capacity for surprise.

read Kerri’s blogpost about SNOW PATH

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The Sadness Settles Back In [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

“I wish that we could transport all Americans to stand in one of those bedrooms for just a few minutes. We’d be an entirely different America.” Steve Hartman, All The Empty Rooms

Rob wrote after the recent mass shooting in Stockton, CA. “We raised the girls just a few blocks away…It’s weird but, I’m sure very human, to feel a sense of relief that for a few minutes that was stronger than the sadness: Nobody I knew – whew! Then the sadness settles back in…”

The sadness settles back in.

And now, Brown University. Tomorrow? Next week? As of December 14th there have been approximately 389 mass shootings in the United States in 2025. More than one per day.

If you accept the premise that society’s primary role is to protect the next generation then we are a titanic failure. “The number one cause of death for children and adolescents (ages 1-19) in America is firearm-related injuries. This has been the leading cause of death for this age group since 2020 surpassing motor vehicle crashes, which had previously been the top cause for decades.”

The second amendment guarantees “the right of the people to keep and bear Arms”. It says nothing of the type of arms we have the right to bear. “A consistent majority of Americans (typically 56% to 60%) favor stricter gun laws in general, according to various recent polls.” The second amendment begins with the words, “A well-regulated Militia…” In the 21st century we enjoy a standing army (so no militia required) and a Constitution that protects our freedoms from the rogue use of the army by the government on its citizens. Yet, we are absent any meaningful regulation on the arms we bear.

With each new day, with each new mass shooting, the sadness settles in. It only takes a moment to consult a crap detector to spot the reason we remain unable to protect the next generation of children: we choose profit over the safety of our children, over the safety of our society. If our representatives represented us, there would already be commonsense limitations placed on the types of guns we might own, on the licensing, availabilility and use of guns, laws meant to protect the citizens – especially the children – in these divided United States.

As Rob noted, we act when it becomes personal. What does it take for us, so numbed by the sheer numbers of mass shootings, to transcend the very human first response: “Nobody I knew – whew.

Tom Hartman’s documentary, All The Empty Rooms, memorializing the bedrooms left behind by children killed in school shootings, is an apt place to start. In these rooms there is no glossing over our ultimate failure as a society. These empty rooms are our rooms. These murdered children are our children.

Our representatives are meant to represent us and not the gun lobby. If they can’t or won’t provide the basic protections for us and the next generation, we should fire them all and vote in people who take personally the sacred duty to protect the lives of our children.

read Kerri’s blogpost about ALL THE EMPTY ROOMS

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