A Simple Thing [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

In our defense, we didn’t buy the cupcake. Our dear Jen heaped a dizzying array of treats upon us before we hit the road. Also, she knows us. I imagine she predicted that, at the end of ten hours of driving, a bit of snack-decadence with wine would warm our hearts and make us feel at home.

Everyone on earth should have a Jen: a friend who is dedicated to making your life better and easier.

Everyone on earth should be a Jen: a person who is dedicated to making the lives of the people in their circle better and easier. And, since the circles we populate are not fixed or exclusive, the intentional kindness would overlap, ripple, and literally connect us – each to one another in a dedication of support – making the world a better place.

The first time I met Kerri, climbing into the car at the airport, I found a sandwich and a hot cup of coffee waiting for me. She thought I might be hungry after traveling so far. It was such a simple thing, a generosity. It reinforced what I already knew about her, what I already loved about her.

Making the world a better place. It doesn’t seem that difficult but it does require asking a question that seems radical in a dog-eat-dog culture: what can I do to make your life better and easier? It’s really a question of responsibility, isn’t it? The Butterfly Effect.

Yes, I am fully aware of the impossibility of my idealism. Yet, how fortunate am I to have a friend like Jen? How utterly impossible is it that I met and married a woman like Kerri?

read Kerri’s blogpost about CUPCAKES AND WINE

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Break Bread [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

Ah, bread. There are few sensual pleasures more fulfilling than the smell of freshly baked bread on an autumn morning. There are few taste combinations more delightful than warm bread and hot coffee. There are few visual pleasures more beautiful than racks of freshly baked bread.

There are few symbols more immediately meaningful than bread. Abundance. Breaking bread together is a gesture of friendship, a sign of peace. This world could use some more breaking-of-bread, some more willingness to meet in the middle and participate in that most human of activities: sharing a simple meal.

In the little village we wandered into the Copenhagen Bakery to grab a sandwich and found more than we anticipated. It was a thriving meeting place of the community, packed during all hours of the day, alive with conversation. Rather than grab our sandwich we decided to stay and soak it up – an unusual choice for two people who’ve grown to avoid crowded places. We had to work hard to find a place to sit. The BLT that we ordered was enormous. The remainder of the plate was piled with homemade chips and a chocolate chip cookie. It was an expression of generosity. During our brief stay in the village we went back to the bakery again and again; we needed the nurturing that this place of bread and intentional kindness offered. We needed the experience of a community gathering around warm bread to talk, laugh and share stories.

Intentional kindness. Generosity. Qualities that are magnetic. They create. They uplift. They pull people toward a common center.

In this era of intentional meanness and rampant greed, we are witness to these qualities that can only divide and destroy. They repel and discourage. Dis-courage: literally dis-hearten. Cut out the heart.

Sitting in the Copenhagen Bakery I whispered a wish that somehow, someway, these political parties and our communities, that are so unnecessarily divided, might find their way to this heart-filled bakery, that they might put down their whipped-up-discord long enough to sit for a spell in a space that exudes generosity of spirit and break bread together.

read Kerri’s blogpost about BREAD

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The Welcome Stone [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

“There is no greater remedy for helplessness than helping someone else, no greater salve for sorrow than according gladness to another.” ~ Maria Popova, The Marginalian, August 3, 2025

“We are due for a win,” I said.

She said, “You can stack up the losses and focus on that or you can recognize that we are winning all the time.” She began to list the many, many, many bounties that we experience each and every day. I laughed. A teacher teaching me one of my favorite lessons to teach: One of the most potent choices we enjoy is where we place our focus. The bounties comprise a mighty stack.

She climbed on the rocks to catch a photo of the waves crashing. The lake was lively and sending waves toward shore like an ocean. Her photo captured a surprise pictograph. “Hi.”

“Oh. Hello,” I said to the picture of the pictograph greeting.

“I don’t agree with spray painting the rocks,” she said, and added, “But this made me smile.” Me, too. It evoked a chuckle.

I imagined some distant future archaeologist discovering the “Hi” on the rock. A sign left by the ancients. The team of researchers will decode the marks and marvel. They will discuss the meaning of the scrawl left on the rock. Perhaps this spot was once the portal to an ancient city? Papers will be published. It will become known as The Welcome Stone. People will travel miles to see it. They will buy tickets and speculate.

It will live as a reinforcement of the message deciphered on a large statue discovered with a similar sentiment: Give us your tired, your poor…

“Who were these people?” they will ask.

It amused me to imagine that they would probably never know that, at the time of the making of The Welcome Rock, we – the people – were asking ourselves the same question.

read Kerri’s blogpost about HI

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Our Human Purpose [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab]

It really boils down to a mistake in purpose.

The purpose of business is profit.

The purpose of government is public service.

When government serves a profit motive – the motive of business – it loses sight of its unique purpose: service to the public. It fundamentally loses its reason for being.

We on the woke-side-of-the-spectrum believe the maga-movement to be misguided because they rallied behind a business motive to solve the problems of government – thereby making the problems worse. A government that prioritizes profit motives over public service is destined to fail.

What the MAGA-mob doesn’t see is that we are all pissed off for the same reason: public service has been co-opted by self-interest. The top 1% now own and control more wealth than the bottom 90%. The solution is not to throw gasoline on the fire. The solution is not to tear down democracy. The solution is to reclaim the purpose of government.

On the trail, people are beautiful because they support each other. They share a common purpose. They inhabit a common story. They know that success on the trail is a team sport. It is an infinite game rather than a win/lose contest. It favors generosity rather than meanness.

We will know when we’ve recovered the purpose of our government when we – all of us on this national trail – favor generosity rather than revel in unkindness. Service to others – supporting and being supported – is what makes us beautiful specifically because it fulfills our human purpose.

read Kerri’s blogpost about BEING HUMAN

smack-dab © 2025 kerrianddavid.com

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Naturally [David’s blog on KS Friday]

Before sleeping we usually watch thru-hikes, video journals of people walking the Pacific Crest Trail, The Continental Divide Trail, or The Appalachian Trail. The Hayduke. Early in their journey the hikers experience the unnatural aggression and excessive pace of regular life drop away and a more natural rhythm emerges.

They become different people as they begin to see other people differently. The steely individuality of their urban identity dissolves. The hikers realize that they need other people. They realize that they are dependent upon the kindness of strangers. In fact, they come to understand that without the support of others their trail-walk would be impossible to complete. They begin to rely on – to count on – kindness.

And they are rarely disappointed. The kindness that they hope for always appears. And, as they enter the reality – the necessity – of their interdependence, they more freely offer their support to strangers. They become the kindness others hope for.

Periodically the hikers come across trail angels; people who come to the trail with the sole intention of making life better for the hikers. The angels prepare food or snacks. They offer shade, a cool drink, a place to sit and rejuvenate. They give rides to town. Other angels make sure there is water available at caches across the desert. Others provide places to stay. Almost all of the trail angels were themselves hikers who were recipients of the extraordinary generosity of angels. So, they became angels for others. Naturally.

The hikers always speak fondly of the culture that exists on the trail. A culture of support. Most hikers, after they finish their months-long adventure, remark that their walk was made memorable, transformative, because of generous people they met along the way.

We watch thru-hikers because they give us hope. In a time of national darkness punctuated by ill-intention, self-serving oligarchs, the celebration of mean-spirits, cowardice…it is heartening to know that there is a community of people out there who’ve stepped into nature and out of the unnatural aggression of our nation, and what they find there – and find in themselves – is a natural reliance on others. A feedback loop of generosity. Kindness. People helping people, not for gain, but because they know the value of helping. It’s called humanity. They know that their walk in this life is made better – made more meaningful – by the dance of giving and receiving support, helping others and accepting a helping hand from others. Naturally.

Bridge on the album AS IT IS © 2004 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE TRAIL

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A Real Stumper [David’s blog on Flawed Wednesday]

“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart….live in the question.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

I just learned something new. There are two definitions of the word poser. The first is familiar: an exhibitionist, an attention-seeker. To varying degrees social media has made posers of us all. Self-publicists. Perhaps that is why our politicians grand-stand at every turn: negative attention is still attention. Substance is no longer a requirement for dominating the news cycle. Every relationship a transaction.

The second definition took me by surprise: a difficult or perplexing problem. A brain-teaser. A riddle. An enigma.

It invoked the obvious statement: The current circus of political posers poses a real poser!

It’s a knotty problem. Vexed. A tough one to crack. Bad behavior, outrageous statements, outright lies… garner the attention, capture the media. The spotlight swings to the most despicable, the greatest train wreck, and since ratings-are-the-game, since “likes” are the prize, is it any wonder that we are on a fast track to the vapid bottom?

Truth, generosity, courtesy…are not the actions of a poser. Since they are their own reward, people who value these actions do not seek the spotlight. And, since the people who value these actions are generally focused on benefiting others – a surprisingly simple intention – they are not difficult to understand. Kindness is never a mystery. Good deeds are rarely puzzles. They are never transactions.

The poser-in-chief intends to eliminate all-things-woke and he needs to in order to achieve his transactional goals. Lies cannot stand up to truth. Meanness is laid bare when next to generosity. Common courtesy exposes the poser. Care for others throws a harsh light on our current national trajectory. Care for others must be vilified and removed if his authoritarian aims are to be successful.

What to do with this poser and his tribe of posers? It’s a real poser for we woke lovers of democracy and stewards of the tradition: of the people, by the people and for the people. It’s a tough one, a real stumper. And there is no better question – no more important question – for us to live-in, to ask in earnest so that, “…this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth” ~ President Abraham Lincoln, The Gettysburg Address, November 19, 1863

read Kerri’s blogpost about POSERS

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Dedicate Quiet [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab]

It’s like taking a drink of water from a fire hose. And that’s their control-strategy. Gish gallop. Muzzle velocity. Insanity inundation.

When faced with a fire hose of malice, the best defense is a suggestion from Master Marsh: turn off all the devices for a day. Take a break. There’s plenty of generosity and beauty all around and it’s readily available when not being drowned out. Talk about that. Take a drink from the welcome spring of acts-of-kindness. Warm your heart with friendship. Laugh. Rejuvenate your spirit in dedicated quiet. Rest.

The ugliness will still be there tomorrow.

read Kerri’s blogpost about REST

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Diamonds In The Cold [David’s blog on KS Friday]

The already cold temperatures are dropping like a stone. The weather app described tonight and tomorrow with a single word: frigid.

Kerri and I have a dilemma: as we age she is getting more sensitive to the heat. I am getting more sensitive to the cold. “What are we going to do?” I asked. She gave me “the look.”

Do you ever marvel, as I do, how much can be communicated in a single look?

For now, we are staying put. We will dream dreams of mountain homes in temperate zones. Places where horses roam, where trails are aplenty, where both hot-flashes and cold-shivers are nowhere to be found. We will practice the art of compromise.

I suppose it is easier for me to pile on more clothes than it is for her to find more layers to take off. I won’t get arrested if I move through the public looking like the Michelin Man but she will certainly raise eyebrows if she strips to the original layer. “I’ll get my sweater,” I say, as she dials down the thermostat.

Henrik Ibsen wrote, “The devil is compromise,” but I am learning that compromise – healthy compromise – doesn’t live in an either/or world. It is not populated by devils or angels. That is a strategy of loss, a begrudging middle-ground arrived at by settling. I’m discovering that it is possible for compromise to paint from a broader palette. Middle ground is just as easily arrived at by giving. Generosity can be mutual. Peace is a creation. Compromise begins with making offers. It’s called “relationship.”

“All compromise is based on give and take, but there can be no give and take on fundamentals…” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Perhaps the most relevant insight of late into compromise is something I am only now understanding and my teacher is the politics of the day: the art of compromise is a terrific way of discerning what is fundamental and what is not. A few weeks ago I wrote that I’d discovered my intolerance. I found through this election that I have hard lines that I will not cross. In other words, I’ve found my fundamentals.

The rest of Gandhi’s thought is this: “…Any compromise on mere fundamentals is a surrender. For it is all give and no take.”

I believe that a good many people in this nation surrendered their fundamentals. Or, they never had them in the first place.

And so, here we are. And while we wait for the nation to either dissolve or find its hard line, we will hunker down in our happy home, control what we can control, and through sweaters and thermostats, practice the fine art of generosity, offering the mutual gift of compromise. Diamonds in the cold.

It’s A Long Story on the album This Part Of The Journey © 1998 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about CHALK DIAMONDS

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I Wonder [David’s blog on KS Friday]

“We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.” ~ James Baldwin

Our Melange posts generally begin with a visual prompt, usually one of Kerri’s recent photographs. Today, for the first time in our Melange history, she offered me a quote. The photograph, the stone heart, came second.

My dad used to tell me that I’d educated myself into stupidity. He was, of course, regurgitating the sentiments of his fox-news source; those were not his words or his thoughts. He was an educated man, early in his life a schoolteacher, yet his entire life he yearned to return to the simple life he remembered, growing up in a small town in Iowa. His yearning was sincere and pervasive. He was kind to his core and generous to everyone he met. He had no idea what to do with the complexity of the contemporary world and so he found solace in rejecting it.

One of my cherished memories of my dad was the day we spent in the cemetery of his small town. He was far down the road of dementia and wanted to visit his beloved small town one last time. I was taken aback that he had no desire to wander the streets but wanted, instead, to wander through the graves – so that is what we did. He’d point to a headstone and tell me the story of the person buried there. To him it wasn’t a graveyard, it was a reunion. He could not remember what he ate for breakfast but he remembered in vivid detail the people that populated his young life, the names on the headstones.

My dad worked most of his life as a foreman of a concrete construction company. His crews were mostly illegal immigrants. For a few summers I worked on his crew and I have never been more proud of him – or learned more from him – than I did watching his dedication to the men who worked for him. He understood their plight, he valued their hard thankless work, and they were as loyal to him as he was to them.

I can only imagine what he would think of the rhetoric of mass deportation, the radical dehumanization of the men he spent his life working with, the racist lies. I wonder if his yearning for simplicity would cloud his perspective or would he recognize the ugly authoritarianism masked in the maga mass-deception.

He was, at his core, kind. Generous. I cannot imagine he would sign on to the oppression and denial of basic humanity that runs rampant through the maga rhetoric. And, since I am “woke”, a progressive, a man dedicated to learning and asking questions, a believer in open minds and hearts, I am now one of the vermin populating the fox-maga-storyline. I doubt he would sign on to that.

I wonder, if we were sitting on the patio drinking a beer, if he’d question, as I do, how his rural America, his imagined simplicity, became so ugly, so lost in the rantings of a fascist. So un-American.

I wonder if he, from his resting place in the graveyard, wishes now for a better story for his small town, for all small towns – the story of generosity and kindness he remembered as hallmarks of the people who populated his early years, the people and narrative who shaped him, his goodness, his life.

Legacy from the album Released From The Heart © 1995 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about OPPRESSION

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What Remains [David’s blog on KS Friday]

“Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible in us be found.” ~ Pema Chödrön

The super moon called us out into the night. We ran-walked to the grounds of the Anderson Art Center so we might get an unobstructed view of the giant moon perched just above the horizon. Later, we walked the streets and paths that followed the shore so we could watch the moon shrink as it journeyed higher into the sky. An illusion.

My favorite part of our stroll was finding that we weren’t the only people called into the night. People – many people – gathered along the shore, some quiet, some giddy – all attending the march of the moon. “This is just like the old days,” Kerri said. A community joining together to share a common experience. No one cared about the politics or issues of the day. There was a common agreement as we passed others: “Isn’t it beautiful!” Strangers so moved by the enormity of the moment, so connected to this ancient traveller, that they were compelled to speak to each other.

Think about it.

The little stuff disappears in the face of the transcendent moon. I felt as if we were participating in a ritual that is as old as humanity. And, more to the point, this ancient ritual, the awe of the moon, invoked our humanity. We were, to a person, benevolent. In the timeless moon there was no space for the petty. There wasn’t a hint of righteousness or prejudice to be found. We waned in the face of the eternal light of the moon. What remained was a basic impulse to share the moment. To join. Primordial generosity. Kindness sublime.

It’s a Long Story/ This Part of the Journey © 1998/2000 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes or streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE KEYS

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