What It’s Made Of [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

I had to ask. What is a Peep made of? The main ingredient is sugar (no surprise). Corn syrup is the second ingredient and I read it provides sweetness and texture. Evidently there’s a lack of sweetness with so much sugar so corn syrup takes up the slack. Rounding out the top three ingredients is gelatin which gives the peep its bunny and baby chick shape. There’s wax for coating and potassium sorbate for freshness preservation. The Peep-particuilar color is due to food dye.

I am not a fan of Peeps but Beaky loved them. I am a fan of peanut M&M’s and therefore I refuse to read the ingredients. I don’t want to know.

Yesterday I wrote a harsh post about the willful blindness of the republican congress. And lest I leave the plank in my own eye while removing the speck from the peeper of congress, I thought I’d better confess my willful ignorance of the innards of an M&M. Where snacks are concerned I am quite capable of looking the other way. I don’t think I could or would consciously look the other way as the-arsonist-in-chief sets fire to the Constitution and burns down the nation. It’s one thing to eat a Peep in blissful ignorance. It’s another thing to knowingly consume the lies of a monster and enjoy it.

It is Easter season, the celebration of new life. The return of spring. The egg is an ancient symbol of new life so we dye them and hide them and delight in the hunt by children to find them. It is a ritual of renewal. A basket full of colorful hope. It is the season that Peeps and pastel candies rise in prominence in the grocery store. In my Easter egg hunt I am looking high and low for the resurrection of integrity, the adoration of humanity in all its wild and beautiful colors, the rebirth (or perhaps the first birth) of a fearless diverse nation unafraid of its history and dedicated to vibrant inclusivity. It is, after all – and in truth – what our nation is made of.

read Kerri’s blogpost about PEEPS.

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Go Empty [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

Among my vast archives of good-advice-received is a gem from Karola. I’ve often written about her wisdom: “Let yourself go empty,” she said. She laughed knowing that “going empty” would be a struggle for me. There is nothing more vulnerable or frightening for a young artist than to admit that their well is dry. What if the muse never comes back? “Going empty” at that phase of my life was akin to abandoning my identity. It felt like a step into the void.

As it turns out going empty was among the best things I ever did for myself. It stands among the greatest lessons I’ve ever learned. Spring requires winter. All budding artists eventually learn that artistry is not what you do – it is who you are. Going empty is the path to learning it. Karola knew exactly what I needed to hear and when I needed to hear it.

Have you not, at one time or another, been left in awe at an insight that comes from a confluence of seeming random experiences? Pieces of a puzzle coming together in what might seem arbitrary but is, in fact, a magic key that unlocks the door to deeper understanding? Last week, after wrestling for months with a play, I decided to leave it alone for awhile. In truth, after wrestling for months, I finally wrote a section that had merit – and when I saved the file it simply disappeared. Poof! After several attempts to find and retrieve the file, my computer insisted that the file was corrupted. I took it as a sign. Give it some space. Leave it alone.

Just as I’d decided to let the project go, we received a message from a man who wanted to buy the remains of my rocking chair. This chair has lived in every studio I’ve ever occupied. Except for my easel it is the only piece of furniture I’ve carried through my nomadic life. In our most recent basement flood a pipe burst directly above the chair, blasting the caning and destroyed the seat, damaging the finish and annihilating a hardcover sketchbook resting on the arm. I decided my chair deserved a better place-in-the-world. It deserved to be with someone who could properly restore it and take better care of it. The message from a buyer sent me reeling. I, of course, denied it. Kerri saw my distress and helped me see it. Every single painting I’ve created in my adult life was rocked into existence in that chair. It’s history was my history. We told the buyer that the chair was already spoken for.

I sat for several minutes with the remains of my chair. There was no one on earth who could better care for it because there was no one on earth who cared more about it than me.We’ll find someone who does caning. We’ll find an upholsterer who can repair the damage and replace the seat or we’ll do it ourselves.

I turned all my canvases to the wall, turned off the salt lamp and climbed the stairs. I met Kerri in the sunroom where we ate Munchos, drank wine, and debriefed the day. I confessed my revelation: I was going to sell my chair because I did not feel worthy of it – which, of course, is a statement not at all about the chair. It was a jolt akin to the discovery of a secret passageway that leads to a hidden chamber of secrets. A lingering question of worth.

Later it felt like opening the window and bringing fresh air to rush into a long-sealed dark and stale room.

I felt exhausted. I felt relieved. I felt as if I could breathe.

“It’s time to go empty.” I heard Kerri say. I heard Karola laughing. Jump into the void. This time, no timid stepping: jump. Really jump. Clear space for a worthy abundant spring.

read Kerri’s blog about the MUNCHO HEART

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Tiny Yearning [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

An owl feather “…symbolizes wisdom, intuition, and the ability to see beyond deception or hidden truths.” ~ Mr. Google

We found an owl feather on our trail. I said, “It’s a good omen.” Even as I said it I knew that endowing the feather with the power of an omen is one way, my way, of giving meaning to my life. This grand old universe is winking at me and wants me to know that all is well. Or perhaps I am winking at this grand old universe in the hope that there is meaning beyond what I make.

Maria Popova wrote that omens “…are a conversation between consciousness and reality in the poetic language of belief.”

Some might scoff at my owl-feather-omen. I don’t mind. I see no difference between my conversation with something greater by finding a feather on a path – and the route others take by sitting in pews reciting prayers together. Although we find our feathers and hold our conversation in different ways they are, after all, the same conversation.

The language of belief is poetic. It is referential. An allusion.

We get into trouble when we believe that there is only one way of conversing with the universe. We miss the point. If you think about it, my owl omen and your whispered prayer have much in common. Your Bible, your Quran or your Vedas, the sutras and mantras and psalms, the I-Ching and astrology, astronomy and quantums…are matter and energy talking to each other. The tiny yearning reaches for communion with the greater whole.

We found an owl feather on the trail.

read Kerri’s blogpost about the OWL FEATHER

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Join The Chorus [David’s blog on Flawed Wednesday]

Horatio reported that he and T are becoming hermits. Kerri and I feel that we, too, are tending toward the reclusive. It would not surprise me to learn that there is a national impulse toward hunkering down. We had a Saturday plan for adventure and awoke to find the liar-in-chief, the pedophile-president, had started a war with Iran. We scrapped our plan. It was lightly snowing so we decided to relish the temporary quiet that the snow brings. Kerri headed outside to capture the snow crystals collecting on the tall grasses. Find the beauty in the moment regardless of the bleak circumstance.

I am aware that the danger of authoritarian takeovers, like the one we are experiencing, complete with a masked gestapo that does not feel bound by the law, a president who is immune to the law, and a congress that ignores the law, is that it will make agoraphobics of us all. It is human nature to opt for safety, which successfully inhibits freedom of movement. That’s what the bully and his cohort count on. Pitting safety against freedom is in the authoritarian playbook. That’s why we must step out, take to the streets, join hands and exercise our fundamental right to protest while we still have it. It’s all that now stands between us (our democracy) and the authoritarian take-over. A free people create safety for each other; people running for safety have already lost their freedom.*

Do you find it ironic, as I do, that one of the many reasons given for this war-of-choice is to help free the Iranian people from authoritarian rule – all the while the administration (if you can call it that) are assaulting our democracy, ignoring the constitution, pulling out all the stops to suppress our free and fair elections in order to establish authoritarian rule here at home?

I find the real beauty of the moment to be the people of our nation, concerned for their freedom, taking to the streets. Instead of running inside to hide – as this administration thought we would – instead of seeking safety in the face of the thuggery, we’re facing the bullies, standing-up for our basic freedoms. Renee Nicole Good. Alex Pretti. We’re invoking the spirit of John Lewis and all those who knew that freedom is a prerequisite of safety. The intention of freedom-and-justice-for-all is a prerequisite of democracy. Once lost, there is no safety, there is no justice.

We are living in a very bleak circumstance, indeed. And yet there is so much beauty – the guardians of freedom – the people – pour into the streets. It inspires even the most dedicated hermit to dust off his coat and join the protest-chorus.

Horatio also reported that each week, he and T, along with their granddaughter, take to the streets and lend their voices to the cause of democracy. They dance and laugh and sing with the other protesters. They stand in the winter cold waving signs at passing cars. These are not the actions of hermits-in-the-making. The truth betrays itself. These are the actions of people who are less concerned with their safety and comfort than they are determined that their grandchildren will live their lives in a country that is free.

*read Timothy Snyder’s remarkable book, On Freedom

read Kerri’s blogpost about SNOW ON GRASS

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Conscience Totems [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

In a roiling stream of consciousness, the limbs at sunset evoked a memory of watching a master of ink and brush, a fluid stroke, a guided hand that for some reason pitched me into Robert Motherwell. I scrolled through selections of his work and was taken by how many of his pieces are direct descendants of Henri Matisse. I was taken by how many times he returned to a theme Elegy To The Spanish Republic. The atrocities of war.

We heard the phrase “conscious avoidance” but thought we heard “conscience avoidance”. The confusion was fantastic! If I someday paint a series of pieces about the un-United States during these authoritarian years I will name the series Conscience Avoidance. Pam Bondi refusing to look at the Epstein survivors. The republican congress emasculating itself, refusing to deal with the obvious truth. The conservative members of the Supreme Court refusing to look at the Constitution. The Constitution stares, mouth agape, at the justices who try not to look at it. My massive canvases will be pocked with oppressive black strokes. Soul holes. Void.

There will, of course, be a parallel series. Conscience Totems. An homage to the people who take to the streets. Keepers of the promise and the light. Bright swaths of vibrant color evoking guide stars and torches and courage. The fluid strokes mimicking a master of ink and brush, a hand guided by something grander than self-serving-money-lust or personal-political-gain. The living branches of a tree reaching one to the other, interlaced and interconnected, reflective of their roots, drinking deeply from the earth so it might touch the sky. A celebration of those unafraid to look power in the eye and ask, “What happened to you?”

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE TREE SILHOUETTE

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Riddled With Choices [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

“It’s everything behind you that brings you to what’s ahead.” ~ Visa advertisement

Once, long ago, a couple in The Netherlands offered to support me for a year so that I could paint without the pressures of making a living. They were artists, maintained a studio and were central to an active artists’ network. I’ve often wondered where my life would have taken me had I accepted their generous offer.

When Kerri and I met we talked about our “broken roads,” the life-choices that we’d made that actually – somehow – led us to meet. Every crossroad is riddled with choices. Some of the impacts of the choices-made are foreseeable. Most are not.

The road behind us, in these un-United States of America, is littered with the carnage of a tug-of-war between those who believe the words We The People are only meant for the privileged few and those who believe the words are all-inclusive. We have in our national broken road a Trail of Tears, generations of slavery, Jim Crow, women’s Suffrage, Japanese internment…we also know the abolition of slavery, a civil rights movement, voter rights…We have amendments to our Constitution, a Bill of Rights, that protect our liberties against an out-of-control government.

We are at a crossroads. The tug-of-war is in full view and the choices could not be more clear. Do we choose the path of freedom-and-justice-for-all or do we choose the fascist path of rights for the privileged few?

Lately, if you listen to the messaging from the White House and the resounding echo-chamber of the republican congress, the Constitution is merely a suggestion, discarded when inconvenient. We are currently witness to the unconstitutional ruling by the Supreme Court elevating the president above the law (making him a king), the suspension of due process and habeas corpus, and a complete disregard of the 4th Amendment protecting us against unreasonable searches and seizures. Our government is actively protecting an international ring of pedophiles comprised of the world’s wealthy elite – including many members of the current administration – while simultaneously constructing a network of concentration camps meant to house people of color en route to deportation. Each day, ICE, the agents of our government, egregiously violate the rights of-the-people with impunity.

It is also true that each day the people of the nation take to the streets to exercise their right to protest. The people of the nation are coming together to protect their neighbors from government abuse.

What’s behind us is a tug-of-war. What’s with us presently is a tug-of-war. What’s ahead of us?

Every crossroad is riddled with choices. Some of the impacts of the choices-made are foreseeable. Most are not. If we believe the polls, the people of the nation overwhelmingly choose the path of diversity, equity, and inclusion, a path that leads to the promise of democracy. The current administration does not.

The vast majority of our people are sick-to-death of the maga lies, the rampant gaslighting, and incessant blaming (abdication of responsibility), whining, whining, whining of this administration and the republican party.

Everything that’s behind us can lead to the fulfillment of the truths that we hold to be self-evident, that all people are created equal and that a government of the people, by the people and for the people is not only possible, it is our imperative.

Everything that’s behind us can also lead to rule by the elite few, the elimination of liberty-for-all. The embrace of antique white supremacy.

We stand at a crossroads. I hope our descendants do not have to wonder where life would have taken them had we accepted as sacred and protected the rights guaranteed to us in the Constitution. I hope they have the opportunity to look at our history, our broken road, and give thanks that, at this crossroad, we chose the path of freedom and justice for all.

read Kerri’s blogpost about WHAT’S AHEAD

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Back In The Day [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

Our basement archeological dig has revealed a punch bowl. I asked Kerri if she ever used it and she said “Yes. Back in the day.” She told me that she made punch with 7 Up and sherbet. I stared at her like she was an alien creature. I have a hard time reconciling the image of the woman I know, the one who wears boots and black thermal shirts, the woman who stands at her piano and plays it so passionately that it hops…with the woman who makes sherbet-&-7-Up punch in a cut-glass bowl.

I had to sit down and take a few deep breaths.

We had to renew our driver’s licenses a few weeks ago and the new versions just arrived in the mail. It is always shocking to compare the photos. My new license betrays a white white beard while in the previous photo I sported a more salt-n-pepper look. “They photoshopped my face!” I gasped. She rolled her eyes. I thought that whipping up a good government conspiracy was a more potent explanation than facing the truth of my face. When in Rome…

This week I complete another lap around the sun. This one is a milestone. It has me in a full-blown life review. I did not accumulate stuff in my passage across adulthood but if I had, in my deep archives, I’m certain we’d find an artifact, a punch bowl equivalent, something long forgotten, that would make Kerri ask, “Did you ever use this?” And I’d say, “Yes. Back in the day.”

So many chapters. So many miles walked. So many changes and lessons and losses and revelations. It makes me sit down and take a few deep breaths. It fills me with intense gratitude that this is where my punch bowl brought me.

*****

(A short scene:

Children of the Future: What’s this old piece of paper?

Us: It’s called The Constitution.’

Children of the Future: Did you ever us it?

Us: Yes. Back in the day.

We sit down and take a few breaths)

A self portrait (detail) from long ago.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE PUNCH BOWL

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Under The Wet Moon [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

Astrologically, we are in the sun sign of Aquarius. The water bearer. I was surprised to read that the corresponding moon cycle is known as the wet-moon, a reference drawn from Hawaiian mythology. This cycle “…corresponds with Kaelo the Water Bearer in Hawaiian astrology and makes the Moon known as the “dripping wet moon”.

It shouldn’t be a surprise that the zodiac of the west aligns so perfectly with the symbology of the Pacific Islanders. In Hindu astrology, “Aquarius is known as Kumbha Rāśi representing the symbol of the water pot.” The cultural traditions on Earth are drawn beneath the same constellations.

During the opening ceremony of the Olympics, a commentator referenced The Pale Blue Dot, a photograph taken of Earth in 1990 from the Voyager 1 space probe. “In the photograph, Earth’s apparent size is less than a pixel; the planet appears as a tiny dot against the vastness of space…” Incidentally, the photograph was taken on February 14 – according to the 12 month Julian calendar – a solar calendar created by humans on Earth, during the period of the wet-moon.

I suppose our definition of “belonging” depends on the parameters we choose. And, make no mistake, it is a choice. We can choose to identify ourselves according to divisions, something like the color line. We can choose to identify ourselves according to imaginary lines on a map. We can choose our tribes according to cultural differences.

Or, we can choose to identify ourselves according the unities. We can choose to recognize that we live under the same stars and orient to the same constellations. We can step back, deep into space, and look at ourselves, a dot no larger than a pixel. Our differences are not nearly so vast as our sameness. No amount of rhetoric or propaganda or white supremacy or religious extremism can alter the fact of our sameness.

The word February comes from februa, a Roman purification festival held during the period of the wet-moon. Under the wet-moon, athletes from all over the world, athletes representing 92 different cultures, 92 shapes drawn on a map of Earth but not visible anywhere from space, marched into a stadium in Milan, Italy, waving flags, symbols of their home nation. Their competition made possible only by the existence of others who also dream of gold, silver and bronze, a shared dream beneath the same constellation of stars.

It has all the makings of an ancient purification festival. And, just in time.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE MOON

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Together We Chase [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

“Freedom is not just an absence of evil but a presence of good.” ~ Timothy Snyder, On Freedom

There is a game I play with Dogga that I absolutely adore. When he wants to go out he stares at me. I stare back at him. His stare intensifies and I intensify my stare to match. Our faces move closer together. When the intensity of the stare is like a bowstring pulled to the breaking point, I say, ‘Okay!” and like an arrow released he flies toward the back door. I let him out in a festival of enthusiasm. I could play this game all day. It is bliss.

“We chose freedom when we did not run.” ~ Timothy Snyder, On Freedom

My first thought when choosing this bliss-prompt was, “Chasing bliss is a sign of privilege.” That would have been my lofty theme but then I felt Dogga’s stare. I set the computer aside and met his stare. The game was afoot!

“In dehumanizing others, we make ourselves unfree.” ~ Timothy Snyder, On Freedom

Opening the back door and watching my joy-dog launch from the deck, fully invested in his Rin-Tin-Tin persona, I recognized the superficiality of my original thought on bliss, my snotty lofty theme. Bliss has nothing to do with access or possession or any soaring ambition. It is something we create with others.

“We enable freedom not by rejecting government, but by affirming freedom as the guide to good government.” ~ Timothy Snyder, On Freedom

My Dogga is free, not because I open the door and remove a barrier, but because he knows he is loved, he knows I am good for a round of the game. Going in and out could be a chore, something mundane, but together we’ve evolved a game of bliss, an affirmation of freedom evoked within each other. We’ve created it and each day continue to create it.

To chase bliss is to offer bliss, to open and be opened. I literally open the door and Dogga quite literally opens my heart-door.

“In a world of relativism and cowardice, freedom is the absolute among absolutes, the value of values.”~ Timothy Snyder, On Freedom

Painting is a bliss I chase, not because of the act of smearing paint but because it opens me to something much bigger than myself. Bliss happens when I get out of the way, get present, and revel in the dance. It liberates me because I engage, I step toward it. I never take it for granted or delude myself into thinking I can control it. In fact, trying to control it is a guarantee that it will dissipate.

“The absence of freedom threatens life, just as threats to life undermine freedom.”~ Timothy Snyder, On Freedom

It is a relationship with life, meeting the intensity of a stare, together peeking through the blinds to marvel at the full moon, placing an extra quilt on the bed on a frigid night is to chase bliss.

Delivering groceries to neighbors afraid to leave their homes, blowing a whistle to alert the community of masked invaders, gathering at the memorial of someone executed by a rogue state, singing songs of freedom together to remind the rogue state that freedom is not something they can take away, that we will meet their stare with an intensity that says, “Game on,” and remind them that, in our votes, in our pursuit of freedom-for-all, we hold the power to open or close the door. They do not. This, too, is to chase bliss. It opens us to something bigger.

Together we chase our bliss because we reject the wretched monster the republicans are pursuing.

read Kerri’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday

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Our Great Strength [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

“Food, in the end, in our own tradition, is something holy. It’s not about nutrients and calories. It’s about sharing. It’s about honesty. It’s about identity.” ~ Louise Fresco

On any given day, as a citizen of the United States of America, I can go eat at any number of restaurants. Among my choices are Chinese, Mexican, Irish, Ethiopian, Vietnamese Thai, Greek, Italian, Indian…It’s a wildly long and diverse list of options. It is also a living vibrant expression of the truth of our nation. We are diverse. We work hard. We have roots that reach into and across many, many cultural traditions. At our best we support and celebrate each other in the most basic of ritual: we gather around tables and share a meal. Despite the utter madness that the Stephen Millers of the world spew, the essential truth of our nation is hiding in plain sight. Take a walk down any city street. Open your eyes. Savor the diversity that defines us. e pluribus unum.

And, if that is lost on you, tune into the music and the musical traditions that the artists of this nation produce and represent.

Our great strength is our diversity. The Achilles Heel of our democratic experiment is the manipulation of our diversity. There is a long standing tradition of pitting us against each other and the color line makes for ease of manufactured division. It’s colonial crowd control. The most effective tool for keeping power over the diverse community is to fabricate an enemy within. While the masses are consumed with fighting with each other, the Epstein Class gets away with robbery, rape and murder. It has been this way since our inception as a nation.

Our Achilles Heel will kill us if we do not at long last learn that the division is concocted – and transcend it. We are made rich in our diversity. We need not white wash our history; we need to roll up our sleeves and learn from it. Black history* is white history and vice versa. If only we could sit at a table together and share a meal as family. Someday perhaps.

I’ve written about the day I met students at the International Center and led them across campus to develop a play in the theatre. I entered the building while they stopped abruptly as if they’d run into a wall of glass. Privilege is blind to itself and that was one of the many experiences that opened my eyes. They told me that they weren’t allowed to enter. Our play was about folk tales across culture and our first lesson together was about invisible barriers. Weeks later, after together we crossed the barrier, after they easily stepped across the threshold and began to make the theatre space their own, we shared sweet treats. I brought chocolate chip cookies. They brought sweet rice and cakes. We told stories about our sweet treats, love-filled memories of grandparents, holiday celebrations, family traditions. We laughed. We learned that our traditions, all though different on the surface, are about the same things.

We love. We honor family. We dream of opportunity and making better lives for ourselves and our children. We seek new experiences and believe in the power of kindness. We come together to share meals in a sacred place we create – and call home: The United States of America.

*It is February, the month that we traditionally celebrate Black History. Even though the current leadership of the nation is taking down plaques and removing exhibits from our museums, the truth remains. The history is explicit. The struggle continues. Celebrate Black History Month.

read Kerri’s blogpost about COOKIES

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