Take A Turn [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

W.B. Yeats, the poet, wrote a book called A Vision. I’m re-reading it. One synopsis read, “The work presents an intricate system that connects the human soul, history, and the cosmos through symbolic cycles and archetypes.” The system was transmitted through his wife during three years, 1917 – 20, of automatic writing sessions. I’m not sure why A Vision fell off the shelf and demanded another read. Perhaps, I am, like the rest of the thinking world, trying to find or make sense of the current national senselessness.

Every so often we walk our loop-trail in reverse. It never fails to amaze us how walking in the opposite direction transforms our well-known path into a completely different experience; it feels like an unknown trail. “Weird!” we exclaim each time we choose to travel in the opposite direction. It’s the mirror image of what I feel when I walk backwards through my life. Going forward each day feels like chaos while looking backward through memories seems like prescribed destiny. Weird.

When I was 20 I had a vision for my life. It wasn’t intricate and was absent of any consideration for the many forces – accidental and otherwise – that shape a life. I knew what I wanted to be. My vision at 20 mostly scared me while at this later juncture of the vision it mostly astounds me and fills me with wonder. I know who I am. I have, along the way, imagined my own symbolic cycles and entertained notions of guidance while also believing at times that I am without any form of support or trusty compass. Both/And. I can fill myself with doubt as readily as I fill myself with knowing. As it turns out, neither my doubt or my knowing is of much use.

Perception is a wondrous thing. In the end, staying open to new ideas and experiences, walking in the opposite direction or standing in another’s shoes is infinitely more useful than the comfort of walking through this life in a single-known-groove. If I’ve learned anything, it is to turn around or take a turn the moment I think I know what to expect.

Bubble Chasers, 33.25 x 48IN, mixed media

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE CURVE

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Make Belief [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

“People must surely be afraid, without knowing it, that their hold upon reason and sanity is precarious, else they would not so resent being asked to look at visual experience in a new way, they would not be so afraid of not seeing the world as they have always seen it and in the general publicly agreed way of seeing it.” Joanna Field (Marion Milner), On Not Being Able To Paint

We saw the little green men at an antique fair. They come in peace. I wondered so asked the Oracle Google why aliens – peaceful or not – are always depicted as green. The AI master responded:

“Green has been associated with aliens in folklore and mythology for centuries…” Forest creatures, fairies and sprites. Leprechauns…

“The term “little green men” gained popularity in the 1950s, coinciding with reports of flying saucers. This imagery was further popularized by movies and other media.” 

“In summary, the “green alien” trope is a creative and cultural construct rather than a scientific expectation. It reflects how we use our understanding of life on Earth to imagine possibilities on other planets.”

A cultural construct. Imagining the possibilities of life on other planets has brought us to the common agreement that green is the color of aliens.

The term “common sense” refers to practical, sound judgment. In practice, however, common sense need not make sense at all. Common sense is not so much about feasibility as it is about group agreement. It is “common” sense, meaning that it is consensus. It need not be factual or practical.

When faced with overwhelming evidence that the earth is round, there are people on this round earth who adamantly insist that the earth is flat. They claim that it is common sense; one need only look at a flat horizon.

Similarly, conspiracy theories are rooted in “common” sense. Mob mentality is not rooted in reason. Lemmings regularly run over cliffs.

Common sense is not necessarily a representative of truth. Common sense need not be rooted in fact. Common sense is just as easily an agreement built on fiction or fantasy. MAGA is an example: a group awash in an agreement of a reality that is sourced in make-believe. Make-believe: make-it-up-to-create-Belief.

Make-Belief. It is the fox’s game. Is there really any sense to be made from an orange man in a blue suit spewing balderdash? Common or not? Simple minds united under red hats of outrage? Do little green men really arrive in saucers that fly? No sense required; only group agreement awash in nonsense. Like the Republican Congress. Common.

read Kerri’s blogpost about ALIENS

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My Constellations [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

Like stars in the sky, there are moments in life that form constellations. Actually, the stars do not form the constellations, we do. We are pattern seekers in our incessant meaning-making. I constellate my memories, sense-make my path, generate my revelations.

In our dedicated cleaning and rearranging of the house, the restoration project of my studio after the flood, we bought new shelves. My art and work books were piled high on an old computer desk, made mostly inaccessible. Gathering dust. With the new shelves, the ease of access to my books, comes new energy.

I sorted through my books before placing them on the shelves. Many of the work books, the resources I used for my past life, didn’t make the cut. In fact, none of them did. It was a revelation, placing them in sacks and moving them out of the house. With open space comes new energy.

Carrying a particularly loathsome sack of books to the recycle bin, I realized that every major change in my life has come with a book purge. When I left Los Angeles, I gave my library of 1000 plays to a friend. When I left central California for Seattle, I took a truckload of books to the used book store. I left a pile of favorites in the building that housed the school and theatre programs I’d created.

My books about Picasso, Matisse, Renoir, Leonardo, Michelangelo…they’ve always made the cut. They are space openers. Life-givers. The connective tissue in the constellation called “My Life”. This is not a revelation. I wondered why I so often turn away from it, stack my books and my life in difficult-to-reach ways.

Another gift Horatio gave to me in our call last week: as I was dumping on him my truckload of excuses and justifications for not painting, he stopped me, saying, “I think it’s much more elementary than you are making it. Decide what you want to do and do it. Your challenge is that you don’t know what you like.” He added, “You have the germs of what you like…”

Cleaning and placing my books on my shelf was like coming home. When I stood back and could see all that I’ve carried through my many, many moves, there was no doubt what I like, there is no doubt about what connects the many stars in my constellation.

read Kerri’s blogpost on THE DISH

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It Takes Some Courage [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

I woke up this morning with this song running through my mind:

Her Majesty’s a pretty nice girl, but she doesn’t have a lot to say
Her Majesty’s a pretty nice girl, but she changes from day to day
I wanna tell her that I love her a lot, but I gotta get a belly full of wine
Her Majesty’s a pretty nice girl, someday, I’m gonna make her mine
Oh yeah, someday I’m gonna make her mine.

It’s the last track on the Beatles album, Abbey Road. A 23 second ditty. I haven’t listened to the album in a decade. So, why was Her Majesty running amok in my dream life? I don’t know. The rest of the dream faded so all context was lost. It’s enough to make me “gotta get a belly full of wine”.

Sense-making is a product of context. For instance, this photograph of the sun piercing the clouds is nice but becomes much more meaningful when placed in context: we were under a tornado warning when Kerri suddenly grabbed her camera and ran outside. “Hope!” she said in response to my puzzled stare. Now, this is and always will be a photograph of unlikely hope.

Context is everything. For instance, the election-was-stolen-lie only gains traction in the red hat community if the context is ignored. Context: 62 lawsuits were brought contesting the results of the election and nearly all were dismissed due to lack of evidence. Liars routinely attempt to insert a fabricated context in place of an actual context. “The election was stolen,” is on the same eye-rolling-level as “The dog ate my homework!”

It only takes a question or two to pop the wildest fabrication.

Of course, one must first want to pop the fabrication.

We are witness to the greatest pathological liar of our times spinning new and fantastic contexts for his question-free believers. If the actual truth doesn’t match their group-hallucination they cry in unison, “Fake News!” Fake news is a go-to context akin to “The dog ate my homework.” It covers a lot of missing homework. It stops the most basic questions. It’s intellectually and spiritually lazy.

We are under a metaphoric tornado warning. I hold a small hope that a few of the red hats might one day wrinkle their brow at the outrageous baseless assertions they are fed and wonder if the dross they are eating is actually true. In that moment, it’s possible that they might ask a question or two. It’s possible they might seek context beyond the group-lie.

It takes some courage to ask questions, especially when it is unpopular to ask them.

It’s never too late to pop the fabrication of a pathological liar. It’s never too late to come back to your senses. It’s never too late to ask yourself, “What was I thinking?” It’s never too late to find your courage. I imagine it would feel like the sun piercing through threatening clouds.

An unlikely hope.

read Kerri’s blogpost about SUN THROUGH CLOUDS

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Infinite Palette [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

A Green Haiku

I stare into space

Today. “Green on green,” she said.

Infinite palette.

At the very end of my life I imagine I will understand – perhaps for the first time, in my final moment – that each day was momentous. I will come to understand that every tick-on-the-tock held more import than I had capacity to conceive. To “just get through it” or to assign “good days” and “bad days” a mind-boggling misunderstanding of the opportunity-of-life.

How much of my perception is chemistry? Ventral vagus tugging-at-war with dorsal vagus for story dominance? Meaning made via neurotransmitter? Does my chemistry generally opt for connection or protection? Like most of us, I imagine myself as somehow independent of my environment, an individual, self-actualized. As it turns out, that is proof of delusion. Or human-specific-hubris. I cannot know myself without your reflection. You cannot know yourself without mine.

First we sense. And then we story. And then our stories wear paths in our mind meadow, chemical preferences.

Green on green. Not as simple as it seems. Boundless as this passing moment. Infinite.

[*special thanks to The Marginalian by Maria Popova – June 9, 2024 – for her reflections on polyvagal theory]

Surrender Now, 24″ x 24″ mixed media

read Kerri’s blogpost about GREEN

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Where [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

Where to now? It’s the ever-present-topic of conversation.

On our recent trip to the mountain, we speculated. What was going to happen? What did we want to happen? What did we hope or fear would happen? Supposition is a kind of storytelling. Building a container for the unknown.

On the way home we recounted what happened. We discussed the gems, the surprises. We talked of the special moments that we anticipated and the hard moments that we predicted. We reveled in the fulfillment of intention, a visit to the sanctuary, a return to the stream. Narrating our experiences is a kind of storytelling. Sense-making. Building a container for the known.

Both types of container are too small. There is only so much anticipation that can be held. There is infinite sense to be made so story choices are necessary: what goes into the container and what must be let go? How will I make meaning of what just happened? And what does that mean for the next container of supposition that we must build?

They are connected questions. Where have I been? Where to now? Of necessity, despite all expectation, neither question ever arrives at an answer.

read Kerri’s blogpost about STORIES

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Barnacle And Beauty [David’s blog on KS Friday]

Let me describe the present moment. It is morning. A gentle rain is falling outside, tap-tapping a steady rhythm on the gutters and pools in the driveway. The window is open just enough so the smell of new rain is carried on a slight cool breeze. We sit, feet beneath the quilt, writing. Dogga was asleep in his favorite spot at the doorway but must have sensed I was about to write about him. He stretched, yawned, groaned, and jumped up on the bed. He nestled in and is once again asleep. Oh, yes, and there is coffee.

I was compelled to write about the present moment because I just read to Kerri an article in the New York Times about the social side of artificial intelligence. AI companions. At first it begged the question, “What is real?” but then I caught my prejudice. Are the conversations I have in my head real? Are my perceptions of the world real? Why should the conversations people are having with their AI companions be any less real than the nonsense that daily runs through my noggin? There is, according to the report, an epidemic of loneliness in these un-United States and true companionship is, apparently, hard to come by. It smacks to me of another layer on the bubble: people create their AI companions and AI companions learn how to respond to their creators from their creators…

There was no filter used to capture this pink-purple sky. It’s one of the things I appreciate about Kerri’s urge to aim her camera. She rarely attempts to alter the image. To make it something else. She is drawn to photograph the present moment with all of its flaws and barnacles. And beauty and grace.

Last night, during our 3am banana-and-trail-fest, we bumbled into a series of videos: people who have decided to live off the grid yet are documenting and sharing their homesteading process on YouTube. We’ve been following Martijn Doolaard for a few years and delight in the travels of Foresty Forest and his dog Rocko. Alternate lives. Old world craftsmen-and-women using-but-not-lost-in the wonders of new world technology. Sense-making.

My 3am revelation? I’m drawn to these people because of the balance they seek to establish: hands and feet firmly rooted in the traditions of dirt and toil and presence, while at the same time appreciating and using technology to capture their present moment. To share. To create. To suggest to us 3am sleep-deprived watchers that there is, indeed, a balance to be struck. No need to get lost. Barnacles and beauty available during this time of intense change.

meander/as it is © 2004 kerri sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora and iHeart Radio

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE SKY

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Have Second Thoughts [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

A comment on how my brain works: I saw this photo and thought, “This is a record of a life path.” What? Where did that come from?

Note: I didn’t think “My life path.” My random reflection was in no way personal. Though, to be perfectly honest, I am only familiar with one life path and it is mine. This jumble of hose, running this way and that, lines running over and under, does vaguely resemble my movement in the world. Or a freeway interchange as seen from the air.

Note on the note: No life path is straight. Circumstance has a way of making lines into loops. Growth has a way of revealing side paths that surprisingly become main roads. Yes, I’m making the assertion that a straight life path indicates a boring-no-growth existence. It would be an excessively mean assertion except, to reiterate, no life path is straight. Loops and surprises. Forces beyond control, leading to the wild eye-and-heart-opening recognition that very little is under our control. Fantasies fall revealing a life that shimmers in its day-to-day-ness as it spirals uncontrollably through the universe.

My second thought: “This reminds me of a Jackson Pollock painting.”

Another comment on how my brain works like most other brains: Second thoughts usually make more sense than first thoughts. That’s the key to sense-making: second thoughts respond (or recoil) from the nonsense of first thoughts.

A note on first and second thoughts: It’s best not to give voice to first thoughts. Wait for the second, more sensical thought for show-and-tell. Editors are involved. You’ll have more friends that way. Also, the authorities won’t need to lock you up. So, forget what I said about life paths and selectively remember my second thought about Jackson Pollock.

Remember: I warned you. This is how my brain works.

[I wish you could see Kerri’s eye-roll as I read to her this post:-) ]

read Kerri’s blog post about THE HOSE

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Follow The Popcorn Trail [on DR Thursday]

More than a decade and a half ago, a friend, a mystic, gave me a short-hand for my ikigai, my life-purpose. We were having a casual conversation when she got that look in her eyes. Nodding to some whispering voice I could not hear, she turned to me and said that she saw no career for me. Mine to do, my job, had (has) three aspects: to express what is true, to reach people through their hearts, to help them to believe (in themselves).

I confess to being a bit distraught at the “no career” part of her message. “What about my career as an artist?!” I wanted to protest but kept my panic to myself. I wanted her to ask the future a surprisingly pertinent question: In the absence of a career, how will I make a living? I kept that question to myself, too. I knew what she was telling me was true. Apparently I will bushwhack my way through life to the very end.

I thought about our conversation, her message to me, this morning while staring at Kerri’s photograph of green teasel. Staring at our prompts I never know what will pop into my mind. I never know what popcorn trail I will follow when we sit down to write. I am constantly surprised by the memory or idea that reveals itself. It’s akin to consulting the oracle: Why did this memory flood my heart and overtake my mind while staring at green teasel? It’s why I love writing our posts: the cultivation of surprise.

Looking back I have to admit that the whispering voice was spot on. When we write – and we write together every day – my hope is to reach people through their hearts. We laugh because I am much more “heady” in my writing than Kerri, who is all heart. Perhaps the whispering voice saw clearly our daily dedication to writing. Expressing my truth in word and image. It is the singular constant in my otherwise seemingly incoherent passage.

Wild teasel is a medicinal plant. In an age before modern medicine I would have sought it to treat my Lyme Disease. It’s an anti-inflammatory so I’d make a tincture to help my aching joints. I’d be filled with the wisdom of self-healing, connected to and grateful for the plants that surround me.

Perhaps that is why wild teasel inspired a memory of my mystic friend? An oracle. Nature’s healing. The sagacity of hindsight. Grateful for the wisdom and good hearts that surround me. The willingness to follow the popcorn trail, especially when it makes absolutely no sense, but knowing in my bones that it will lead to a delightful surprise: a memory of Ikigai revealed. A worthy life-purpose that can only be found in giving your gift to others.

read Kerri’s blogpost about TEASEL

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Keep Your Nickel [on Merely A Thought Monday]

The second part of the quotes reads like this: “The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.” It’s another way of saying, “Be in the moment.”

Being in your moment is harder that it sounds. Lately I’ve been pondering two Buddhist practices that came by way of Quadzilla. First, develop the capacity to discern between the fear raging inside and what’s actually happening outside. Unless there’s a tiger chasing you, the fear is most-likely manufactured. Second, learn to discern between what-you-feel and the story you layer on top of what you feel. Feel the feeling, chuck the story. Develop these two practices of discernment and arrive at equanimity: “mental calmness”, the ability to observe without evaluating.

The first part of the quote reads: “It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”

Each time I scroll through the news-of-the-day I hear Tom’s voice in my head: “When I was a kid and the circus came to town I paid a nickel to go into the tent to see the ‘freak show.’ Cows with two heads, etc. Now, all I need to do is watch what’s on tv.” In his final years, Tom retreated to his ranch and spent his time cutting the grass and tending the land. He watched baseball games. For a time I was concerned with his isolation but now I understand it completely. He was a deeply sensitive man, a gifted theatre artist, and rather than grow numb to the “freak show,” to try and make sense of the sense-less, he put his hands in the soil. He watched the sunrise and sunset. He found his health in the quiet place beyond the sickness of the society.

Pasting the quote back together in proper order: “It’s no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society. The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.” ~ Krishnamurti

The lessons keep coming. Late in life Tom made the choice to keep his nickel and stay clear of the world concocted inside the tent. The world inside the tent is manipulated. It’s meant to rile, to confuse. He discerned between where to place his focus and where not to place his focus. Stay out of the tent. Focus on the soil. The movement of the sun. Family. Ancestry. Helping. Chopping wood. Carrying water. The real stuff.

Outside the tent, outside the made-up-horror-story, there’s no reason to evaluate [to judge]. It’s another way of saying “Appreciate your moment.”

read Kerri’s blogpost about KEEP YOUR HEAD UP

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