Learn A New Word [on Merely A Thought Monday]

I learned a new word today. Actually given the divisive climate in our current epoch, I’m surprised that I did not come across it sooner.

The word: Agnotology: the study of deliberate culturally induced ignorance or doubt, typically to sell a product, influence an opinion, or win favor, particularly through the publication of inaccurate or misleading scientific data.

Speak these words slowly so you might taste the sounds: deliberate culturally induced ignorance…Once you’ve tasted the sounds, think about the ramifications. Deliberate ignorance. Head in the sand. Deliberate ignorance is, of course, a necessity on the road to hate. And, not just any form of hate. Hate as a product. Hate meant to influence opinions. Hate that thrives on misleading information.

Deliberate ignorance eschews knowledge and refuses to ask questions. Non-curious, hard-edged-belief that refuses to check reality. Hard-edged-belief borne of purposeful misinformation. Hate is learned. Acquired.

My new word came across my path when a stream of transgender hate crossed my screen. A post on Facebook.

I’ll call them Sam. Sam was my student when I taught at an independent learning center. My appointments with Sam were scheduled after hours. Sam fled the main campus. Sam was transgender and Sam’s parents feared for their child’s life. Sam feared for their life, too.

Transgender (adjective): a person whose gender identity does not correspond to the sex registered to them at birth.

Start with the word “person”. A person. Now, roll around your mouth and mind the word “identity”. Speak the words slowly so you might taste the sounds.

I remember being a teenager. Do you? It was mostly a festival of confusion and an intense desire to fit in. To be accepted. About 5% of young adults are transgender. Sam, like all teenagers, was awash in a festival of confusion and wanted what every other student wanted: to fit in. To be accepted. And, the acceptance Sam sought most was… from Sam. Just like you and me.

Sam’s mountain-to-climb was significantly steeper than most. Sam’s walk toward wholeness demanded deep questioning, knowledge seeking, personal reflection, assumption challenges, fact checking, and a dedication of self-love that most of the populace, approximately 95%, can’t begin to imagine. I taught Sam geometry and world lit but I learned from Sam the great expanse of the human soul.

We vilify what we don’t understand, or more accurately, what we refuse to understand. Lemmings learn to hate en route to the ledge.

Lemming (noun): a person who follows the will of others, especially in a mass movement, and heads straight into a situation or circumstance that is dangerous, stupid, or destructive.

Lemming. Speak the word slowly so you can taste it…Now, think of the ramifications.

The path to love and understanding always begins with a step toward: Asking a question. Challenging a belief. Bursting the misinformation bubble. Fact-checking the information and especially checking the agenda of the source.

Love is a very old word yet it’s never too late to learn it anew.

read Kerri’s blogpost about LOVE

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Come Home [on saturday morning smack-dab.]

It’s a big day. Kerri has lived in this house more than half of her life. I am approaching a decade in our home. In other words, I’ve lived in this house longer than I’ve lived anywhere in my adult life.

The first moment I stepped foot into this house I felt and saw in my mind the word, “Home.” It unnerved me a bit since, after several months of correspondence, Kerri and I had only just met in person. Also, I was a dedicated wanderer, the kind that is never lost, so I didn’t believe I would ever experience the feeling of “home”. It wasn’t in my cards.

Life changes fast. That first night we crawled out a second-floor window, sat on the roof and sipped wine. It was cold so we wrapped ourselves in blankets. I’d been waiting my entire life to find someone who wanted to crawl out the window with me. Home. My wife and our house. Inseparable stories woven together through time. I am unbelievably fortunate that her house has become our house and it loves us as much as we love it.

Home. I feel it. It was in my cards all along.

read Kerri’s blogpost about HOME

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Play With Life [on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

On my list of things to think about: raindrops are water held together by surface tension. The elements of air and water at play. And then, as if that were not enough, there’s refraction!

Now you know why I’m such a bore at parties. While everyone else discusses recipes or the antics of their children, I’m captured by the drip of water on the houseplant. Talk to me at your own risk.

It’s a question of attractions. Water molecules like hanging out with other water molecules more than they like hanging out with air molecules. Like seeks like. The liquid contracts. An inward force of attraction creates a surface tension at the crossroads with air. Don’t worry. Beyond the metaphor I don’t really understand it, either.

In my next life I’m going to be either a gospel singer or a physicist. If a physicist, I’ll still be an outrageous bore at parties but at least I’ll understand the forces behind what I’m seeing. If a gospel singer, I’ll be great fun at parties and I won’t for a moment think of the forces at play. I’ll sing with the power of unquestioned faith.

Our backyard is a sanctuary. The birds love it. The chipmunks race along the fence line. The bunnies eat the grass and lead Dogga on wild-bunny-chases. The pond gurgles. The plants thrive. All are interfaces of forces. Water and air. Life playing with life.

It gives me plenty of fodder to think about. And, plenty to love.

read Kerri’s blogpost about HOSTA

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Define It [on KS Friday]

“Dangerously soft-hearted. Derogatory. Informal.” Thus, the great book of words begins its definition of Bleeding heart. It’s no wonder we’re value-confused. Poke around the word “compassionate” and you’ll find a string of synonyms that are soft-hearted without the informal-derogatory in the mix: sympathetic, pitying, caring, understanding, empathetic…

Qualities to be admired.

If I care for you, if I feel your pain, if I consider your feelings, if I make space for your grief, if I feel sadness for your suffering…am I dangerously-soft-hearted or caring? The associated verb that pops up again and again is “to feel”. The portal to standing in another person’s shoes is through feeling.

We caution our little tykes not to let their emotions cloud their judgments. It’s good advice when understood that emotion…feelings…are necessary to arrive at sound judgement. Mind and heart are indivisible dance partners. Separating the two is a recipe for psychosis. And meanness.

Does compassion cloud or clarify? In the Christian tradition a bleeding heart, the bleeding heart, is the spirit that nourishes. “The salvation of humanity.”

Empathy is an epicenter of artistry. Love is a word of the heart, soft or otherwise.

It’s quite a mix of meanings! I suppose that’s why the wise advice found in all wisdom traditions is to find the middle way. “Balance” as a Buddhist might recommend. “Get neutral” as divemaster Terry instructed. Parcival; pierce the veil with the arrow aimed straight through the middle. There, the grail is found.

A bleeding heart is a plant, too. Beautiful and it always evokes a sweet sigh from Kerri. Life giving. Instant presence. Now, isn’t that an apt example of a spirit that nourishes? Try to find that in a dictionary!

kerri’s albums are available on iTunes or streaming on Pandora and iHeart Radio

FREEFALLIN’ IN LOVE © 2002 kerri sherwood, sisu music productions inc. (Note: this is not jazz, nor does rumblefish own any copyright or publishing rights to this song).

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Cheer The Artist [on Merely A Thought Monday]

Even with our earplugs, the music was loud. Our son was the artist on stage, his spontaneous composition making movement irresistible. We danced. The crowd whirled and cheered. I was proud. It was the first time we’d seen him perform live. He was fully in his element. This is what he is supposed to do: Make music that sets people free.

In our current world I can imagine nothing more potent or necessary. I wish his music might reach into the cold heart of Texas, dispel the manufactured fears of Florida. I hope his music rattles the foundations of the tightly held and airless “norm”. It is imaginary. Norm depends upon where you stand and, last I knew, there were many places to choose – all of them central to one. I will cheer on the day that his music pierces the veil of man-made-ugly-and-exclusive rules that are attributed to one angry god or another.

The best artists practicing the best of their artistry erase boundaries and lead people into their shared, common center: a place called love. It’s a boundless place, a place where people celebrate each other, where people dance for the joy of being alive, for the deep appreciation of being-just-who-they-are: unique in all the universe.

I saw it this weekend. Of the artist and the bountiful revelers I can truly say I am Proud.

read Kerri’s blogpost about PROUD

Dance [on saturday morning smack-dab.]

We find that the balm to most of life’s greatest challenges is to dance. Anxious? Dance! Confused? Dance! Worried? Dance!

In truth, most of our worries, anxieties, and confusions don’t have a solution or a single answer. They are passing circumstance. Monkey mind run amok. Unsolvable dilemmas. In the face of uncertainty, quandary, or existential mess, it feels really good to dance. And that’s precisely the point. No sense to be made? Dance. Dance. Dance with the one you love! In the kitchen. In the front yard. In the airport.

And, isn’t that the name of the balm! The epicenter of existence! The purpose of life? To dance with the one you love. Preferably a slow dance. There’s no reason to rush when a solution feels so good.

read Kerri’s blogpost about DANCE WITH ME

smack-dab. © 2023 kerri sherwood

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Show Us The Way [on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

Our Sweet Boy is getting older. A few night’s ago, for the first time, I watched him struggle to stand up; for a moment his back legs refused to cooperate. I felt a hot rush of panic, Kerri caught my eye to acknowledge that she saw it too. And then, in a miracle moment of instant transformation, he caught sight of Boris-the-cat next door and all signs of decrepitude vanished in his hot-dogga-dogga-rush to bark at the window. Crazy Boy was back.

He’s always had two distinct personalities: Crazy Boy in the daylight hours and Sweet Boy after the sunset. Each evening, Crazy Boy herds us to the living room. Once we are settled safely into the couch, the signal that his duties for the day are done, he collapses on the floor between the living room and dining room. When next he raises his head, Crazy Boy is gone. The spirit of Sweet Boy fills his furry being. Our now gentle dog checks in for a head-pet, and nestles in beneath our feet.

It’s the ratio that is pulling at my heart. Once, Crazy Boy dominated the hours of the day, wearing deep circle-paths in the backyard in his exuberant patrol. In the past year, there is a new more-equal balance of Sweet Boy and Crazy Boy hours. His ebullient patrol still wreaks havoc with the backyard flora and fauna, just not so often. He’s become more content to observe his vast territories from the cool of the deck rather than continually clear the yard of marauders. Now he sleeps more of the day away.

When we are away on errands he sleeps in the sunroom by the backdoor but is joyful and bouncing by the time we get the key in the lock. He is the world’s best welcoming committee. Yesterday, we were completely inside the house before he was aware that we were home. “Some watchdog!” we quipped. Once again he struggled to get up. Kerri knelt by his side, ruffling his ears, she said, “Don’t worry, Dogga, our joints hurt, too.”

We’ve joked that Dogga had a tough assignment with us. A hyper sensitive dog with two overly sensitive artists. He’s been part weather vane – I know when Kerri or I are about to storm because Dogga looks at us and heads to the bathroom, his quiet space. We’ve averted many-a-storm because Dogga turns and slinks toward his sanctuary. “It’s okay!” we call after him. Not wanting to upset the dog has taught us how to not upset each other.

“I guess we’re learning how to grow old together,” Kerri said.

And Dogga – as always – is showing us the way.

read Kerri’s blogpost about CRAZY SWEET BOY

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Tip The Cup [on KS Friday]

“We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out.” ~ Ray Bradbury

My grandmother famously hid a horse in her kitchen when the truck from the glue factory showed up to take it away. What makes that story remarkable to me is that my grandmother was 4’7″ tall when she stood on her tiptoes. Although her physical size was diminutive, her spirit was grande.

Another detail of the story that confounds me: from the backdoor, there were stairs up into her kitchen. And then a hard left turn. It was no small feat getting a horse into the kitchen. Sometimes I ponder what it must have looked like, watching this teeny-tiny woman hurriedly coaxing a big-big horse through the backdoor, up the stairs and into the kitchen. I wonder if she shushed it as she peeked out the kitchen window, waiting for the truck to drive away. I can’t help but laugh heartily every time I imagine the scene.

Once, she and my mom drove me to college in Santa Fe. On the way we stopped to have lunch. I was grateful for their efforts, driving me several hours to school, so I reached to pick up the check and my grandma pinned my hand to the table with her fork. We burst out laughing. She was fast and left no room for debate.

The sun streaming into the farmhouse brought grandma to mind. Standing in the kitchen, looking at all the food we’d prepared, the mountain of snacks and beverages Kate and Jerry hauled from Minnesota, the bins of cookies and sweets, I thought, “This place is just like grandma’s purse.” Her purse looked like a punching bag and she could produce anything you needed at anytime from that bag. Screwdriver? Yep. Saltines? Yep. Duct tape. Of course! Water? How much do you need? It was the clown car of purses. Were I to be lost in the desert and had one precious wish to be granted, I’d wish for my grandma’s purse.

Tiny woman. Endless supply of love and support. She knew how to fill our cups. She knew how to tip herself over so all the beautiful stuff could rush out.

where i’m from/blueprint for my soul © 1997 kerri sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora & iHeart Radio

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Comprehend The Incomplete [on Merely A Thought Monday]

Three evenly spaced periods. An ellipsis, “used to indicate the omission of words or an incomplete thought.” This series of ellipses punctuated the horizon, marking the line between the dark night sky and the farm fields.

The omission of words. As I watched the horizon-ellipses twinkle, I wondered how many times I’ve omitted the words, “I love you.” Too vulnerable. Not safe. Revealing.

An incomplete thought. Not surprisingly, this brings to mind a thought about thoughts: namely, thoughts are never complete. Every thought is a running ellipsis, a water drop in a raging river. A complete thought is an oxymoron. Because we are given to writing our thoughts – trying to capture them – we are deluded into believing that the stream of babble that runs though our brains is containable or fits neatly into discrete compartments that travel in a single direction, like the boxcars of a train. This thought is connected to that thought just as this letter is connected to that letter so a chain of meaning might be assigned. Someone, somewhere, wrote that our thoughts are the mother-lode of comedy. Random. Surprising. Multi-directional. Rolling, roiling rivers. Shapeshifters.

My word of the week is “argle bargle.” It means nonsense. Motherlode of comedy. Argle-bargle-avalanche.

In the dark of night I look at the ellipses on the horizon; no one can convince me that love, like thought, is ever complete. I look higher into the night sky at the glittering light-dots that have completely ignored the rules of even-spacing and scattered themselves across infinity. Maybe that is why I sometimes omit the words, “I love you.” it’s too big to comprehend. It’s sometimes too much to contain in my one tiny heart…

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Make A Unique Mark [on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

Take a moment and write your name on a piece of paper. Your name, captured in lines made by your hand. No other hand in the universe will make those lines in exactly the same way. No other hand will have the connection to the scribbled name quite like you do. It’s yours. It’s you, expressing your unique signature, done so often as to be unconscious. Do you remember the first time you made those lines?

Expression. That connects. You.

My parents kept a box for me. It has samples of my first quaky lines. It has crayon drawings, scribbles that had yet to meet the notion of containment. No knowledge of should.

I have many, many times been asked to make a case for the arts. Make a case. Amidst the assumption of no-value. I ask the people sitting behind the big table if they have children or grandchildren. I ask them if they ever giggled with pleasure to watch their child smoosh paint with their fingers. Why? Did they tape the smoosh-mess to their refrigerator? Why? Did they store the first scribbles, the first crayon drawing, the first finger painting in a box? Why? Are they hoping that their someday-or-now-adult children will remember their march to unique expression? What price would they, sitting behind the big table, place on those little hands making prints on paper? What is the value of the infinity that those little hands find?

The freedom of expression. Yet unhindered by a life-message that your unique and personal expression must achieve some-thing. What is the value of finding that freedom again, as an adult? Expression sans hinder. No fences. No expectation. What is available when adult fingers are free-like-a-child to wildly smoosh through paint or sing with abandon? What is the value of expression?

I remember the first time I sat in the audience of a theatre and sucked back my sobs. I was so deeply moved by the performance yet aghast at how freely (and loudly) I was about to express my feelings.

I remember the day the woman came into the gallery, saw my painting, and stood before it as if slapped. She cried. And cried. And cried. I cried seeing her see me-in-my-painting.

Have you ever stood on a mountaintop and felt a part of something bigger? Have you ever closed your eyes and let the aria wash over you? Have you ever, driving to somewhere, turned up the volume and sang loud and passionately, the song stirring your soul? Have you ever watched a child play with abandon and feel with utter certainty life stretching beyond your time-on-earth?

Have you ever not given voice to your questions? Silenced your thoughts? Withheld your voice? What would you give, in those moments, to understand the power of playing the fool? The necessity of not-needing to-know-the-right-answer? What would you give to know the courage of taking a step simply because your footprint, your unique print, might help someone, someday, do as you are doing, take a new path that will guide them back to themselves? Back home? What would you give to smoosh your hands with abandon through the metaphoric paint?

What exactly is the value of making the unique mark on the page? Yours? Or the song played that lifts you out of your despair and fills your heart with light and hope?

read Kerri’s blogpost about ART

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