intolerance | The Direction of Intention

Diamonds In The Cold [David’s blog on KS Friday]

Posted on December 6, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative

The already cold temperatures are dropping like a stone. The weather app described tonight and tomorrow with a single word: frigid.

Kerri and I have a dilemma: as we age she is getting more sensitive to the heat. I am getting more sensitive to the cold. “What are we going to do?” I asked. She gave me “the look.”

Do you ever marvel, as I do, how much can be communicated in a single look?

For now, we are staying put. We will dream dreams of mountain homes in temperate zones. Places where horses roam, where trails are aplenty, where both hot-flashes and cold-shivers are nowhere to be found. We will practice the art of compromise.

I suppose it is easier for me to pile on more clothes than it is for her to find more layers to take off. I won’t get arrested if I move through the public looking like the Michelin Man but she will certainly raise eyebrows if she strips to the original layer. “I’ll get my sweater,” I say, as she dials down the thermostat.

Henrik Ibsen wrote, “The devil is compromise,” but I am learning that compromise – healthy compromise – doesn’t live in an either/or world. It is not populated by devils or angels. That is a strategy of loss, a begrudging middle-ground arrived at by settling. I’m discovering that it is possible for compromise to paint from a broader palette. Middle ground is just as easily arrived at by giving. Generosity can be mutual. Peace is a creation. Compromise begins with making offers. It’s called “relationship.”

“All compromise is based on give and take, but there can be no give and take on fundamentals…” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Perhaps the most relevant insight of late into compromise is something I am only now understanding and my teacher is the politics of the day: the art of compromise is a terrific way of discerning what is fundamental and what is not. A few weeks ago I wrote that I’d discovered my intolerance. I found through this election that I have hard lines that I will not cross. In other words, I’ve found my fundamentals.

The rest of Gandhi’s thought is this: “…Any compromise on mere fundamentals is a surrender. For it is all give and no take.”

I believe that a good many people in this nation surrendered their fundamentals. Or, they never had them in the first place.

And so, here we are. And while we wait for the nation to either dissolve or find its hard line, we will hunker down in our happy home, control what we can control, and through sweaters and thermostats, practice the fine art of generosity, offering the mutual gift of compromise. Diamonds in the cold.

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read Kerri’s blogpost about CHALK DIAMONDS

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Filed under: KS Friday, Navel Gazing, Random | Tagged: artistry, Compromise, david robinson, davidrobinsoncreative.com, fundamentals, generosity, intolerance, Kerri Sherwood, kerri sherwood itunes, kerrianddavid.com, kerrisherwood.com, mahatma gandhi, peace, relationship, story, studio melange, surrender, the melange | 4 Comments »

The Necessity of Intolerance [David’s blog on Flawed Wednesday]

Posted on November 13, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative

Life has a way of flipping you on your head. As a former facilitator of DEI workshops I have had innumerable conversations about intolerance and the necessity for standing in “the other’s shoes.” Tolerance is a step on the path to an open mind. Throughout the course of this election I have discovered within myself the necessity of intolerance. The absolute necessity.

There has to be a line. I cannot stand in the shoes of intentional indecency. I cannot afford an ounce of grace to the ugly racist, misogynistic, xenophobic, violent ambitions of maga or its dictator-wanna-be. In a democracy, there is no validity, nothing remotely defensible about their fascist aims. I cannot listen – even for a moment – to the rabid justification of a thought-less-babble-tower built of lies and grievance. It is less than sandy soil. It is a disaster in the making. A foul permission structure of deception and nonsense.

I have found my hard intolerance and I couldn’t be more proud to declare it. At first I feared it made me a hypocrite but lately I know better. There is a place for intolerance and it is this: Intolerance of injustice, intolerance of hatred, intolerance of fear-mongering, intolerance of misogyny… is the vanguard of an open-heart, the guardian of an open-mind.

There has to be a line.

I am learning that within my intolerance of this maga-hatred is the living-seed of common decency and respect of others. My intolerance of whipped-up division constructed by a pathological liar gives bright energy to my belief in truth and goodness. It points the way to the virtues I was taught, to the ethics that are my inheritance.

Our parents and grandparents fought against fascism. My imperfect and messy nation strives to fulfill the ideal that all people are created equal. As the stewards of democracy it is now our imperative – my imperative – to claim my utter intolerance of the authoritarian bilge poisoning our nation.

Every religion, spirituality and belief-system I’ve ever studied (and I’ve studied more than I can count) instructs that I am my brothers’ and sisters’ keeper – as they are also mine, to help others – especially those who are downtrodden. As Kerri says, “If it’s not about kindness then it’s not about anything.”

That seems pretty straight forward and absolutely unequivocal to me. Especially now.

read Kerri’s blogpost about TATTERS

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Filed under: Edges, Flawed Wednesday, Perspective | Tagged: artistry, authoritarian, david robinson, davidrobinsoncreative.com, democracy, ethics, fascism, hatred, history, imperative, intolerance, Kerri Sherwood, kerri sherwood itunes, kerrianddavid.com, kerrisherwood.com, kindness, MAGA, necessity, open heart, open mind, politics, religion, steward, story, studio melange, the melange, tolerance, virtue | 3 Comments »

A Simple Equation [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Posted on September 23, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative

“…to the degree that each of us is dedicated to wanting there to be peace in the world, then we have to take responsibility when our own hearts and minds harden and close.” Pema Chödrön, Practicing Peace

Inside, I am wrestling. This political era is challenging everything I believe, everything I believe about humanity, everything I believe about myself. For instance, as someone who spent years facilitating DEI workshops, I have found the hard wall of intolerance; my intolerance.

My intolerance reduces difference to a simple equation. An example: My wife is a survivor of sexual assault. The harm inflicted on her by her rapist ravages her to this day. The maga candidate has been found liable for sexual abuse. He has been accused of sexual assault by dozens of women. For me, a vote for the maga candidate is no more or no less than a vote for a serial rapist. It’s a simple bottom line. Support of the rapist bespeaks acceptance of rape. Never mind the the incessant racism, the misogyny, the lies, the grift…

Another simple equation: A person who votes for the maga candidate is complicit.

For the first time in my life I am finding it impossible to stand in the other’s shoes. I can’t understand it and, more to the point, I am no longer willing to try. And so, the growth begins. I have found my edge.

I’m finding that there are very good reasons to be intolerant. There should be – there need to be – hard lines drawn in the sand. We have laws for a reason. We have separation of powers for a reason. There is a line between moral and immoral, between right and wrong – for a reason.

We’ve been watching past seasons of Alone. Our pals got us hooked on it and I am finding it helpful as I stand on my edge. People left alone in the wilderness quickly learn about their basic needs. They learn about themselves. Although adept survivalists, most nearly starve to death in a matter of weeks, yet it’s not the lack of food that defeats them. It’s the lack of human contact. As they move through their ordeal of aloneness, they become increasingly grateful for the people in their lives. They become humble. They weep. These rugged outdoors-types speak openly about what they fear. When stripped down to the basics, they meet themselves as if for the first time.

They become effusive in their gratitude because they become clear about what matters and what does not.

I feel that I am – we are- learning about ourselves as a nation. We are certainly in the process of being stripped down. The basics of our beliefs – beyond the rhetoric – are being excavated and revealed. And, as I discover the inflexibility of my intolerance, clear about what matters, I am also plumbing the depths of a deeper well of gratitude.

It is not an exaggeration to say that I am thankful for people who ask questions en route to the truth – people who desire to be informed beyond their own comfortable belief. I am thankful for courageous people who can no longer stomach the rot – who place country over personal gain. I am thankful for people who honor and fight to hold the line of decency and democracy.

I am grateful for meeting my intolerance.

I am grateful for people who still think sexual assault is a crime and anyone who sexually assaults should be imprisoned rather than rewarded with the highest office in our land. A bottom line. A line drawn in the sand. A simple equation.

read Kerri’s blogpost about GRATITUDE

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Filed under: Merely A Thought Monday, Perspective | Tagged: alone, artistry, complicit, courage, david robinson, davidrobinsoncreative.com, fear, Gratitude, growth, intolerance, Kerri Sherwood, kerri sherwood itunes, kerrianddavid.com, kerrisherwood.com, MAGA, morality, peace, pema chodron, personal growth, Practicing Peace, rape, sexual assault, story, studio melange, the melange | 4 Comments »

In-Tolerate [on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

Posted on July 21, 2021 by davidrobinsoncreative

In theatre school, I was taught that the action of the play was driven by conflict. I’ve never been comfortable with that word. Something did not ring true with the concept of conflict. A dividing line. Battle. Fight. Kerri just suggested that conflict is not simply a line, it is bandwidth. A full spectrum of color in our human struggle.

I recently read that, through resistance, all things become visible. We see color because some light rays are absorbed and others are reflected. The light ray is filtered, separated into color bands. We see the color that was resisted. Rejected by the surface. Split off. Separated. Is it any wonder that the epicenter of most faith traditions, the driver of most origin stories, is the journey through separation back to unity?

We become visible in our birth. Separate. We become invisible in our death and are given to imagining a comforting story of reunion. Re-union. In between those two points, separation and unity, there is life made visible and wildly colorful by the separation. The filters. What is absorbed and rejected. Reflected. Learned. Ignored. Appreciated. Vilified. Visible. Invisible.

This time of pandemic has been, for us, an exercise in separation. In the distancing, we’ve nurtured, intentionally and unintentionally, an appreciation of quiet. Over these many months we’ve grown a garden of simplicity. We read together. We walk our paths slowly. We’ve found that we do not need to be entertained or distracted. We have a low tolerance for crowds and run the opposite direction when there’s too much noise ahead.

We’ve fostered an appreciation for those who walk through life considerate of the needs of others. Our circle of friends has come into focus. We’ve dropped off the plate of many and many have dropped off of our plate. The connective tissue is felt, established and hearty. In some cases, even though our actual conversations are rare, the focus is sharp. Deeply rooted. Arnie. Judy. Jim. Mike. David. In other cases, we communicate almost every day. 20. Brad and Jen. Heart-y.

Our play has become visible through resistance. What we absorb and what we reject has come into stark contrast, clear focus, through the separation. Layers of shallow tolerance have been peeled away revealing a much deeper understanding of what we desire to create in this life, how we desire to live. It is necessary to understand the boundaries set and the colors illuminated by intolerance. Said another way, it is important to be able to thoroughly sort substance from noise. Both inner and outer. I have learned that I have limited tolerance for thoughtless acceptance, for unthinking noise. My resistance. I surround myself with questioners, those curious enough to dig, dedicated to building their thought-castles on bedrock instead of shifting sands. Those few who are capable of releasing their grips on the comfortable known and step willingly into the uncomfortable question. I absorb them. Take them in.

We – all of us – walk the same path, visible in our birth. Separate. Invisible in our death. Re-union. In this we are equal. What we do, how we choose to support each other, or choose not to, in the passage between those two universal points, is all. These choices define the story we live.

The pandemic, the separation, has helped me to a deeper understanding and appreciation of this word: Intolerant. A word that used to inspire egg-shell walking for what it implied. A word held with shallow roots. Now, it is a word rich in complexity, useful in paradox, a resistance that has made so much come visible. Tolerance, ironically, is at the same time intolerance. What, in your play, is acceptable? What, in your play, will you tolerate? What, in your play, will you not tolerate? Your play is not separate from mine.

read Kerri’s blog post about TOLERANCE LEVELS