Expect The Burst [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab.]

It’s alright. I know she will inevitably burst and I’ll be covered head-to-toe in her thoughts and opinions.

She’s the same way with gifts. She can’t buy presents ahead of time because she gets too excited to give them. Overwhelmed with gift-giving-anticipation, she bursts.

She’s the same way with ideas. There’s too little space in her heart and mind to contain so many burgeoning ideas. She bursts several times a week. It’s why she’s a pile-organizer. Her good ideas stack up because they have no where else to go.

What’s not to love?

read Kerri’s blogpost about BURSTING

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Cranky, Earnest, Docile [David’s blog on KS Friday]

I can’t help it. I see animated characters in these spiky thistle-balls. Three spiny stooges who are sharp, sharp, sharp on the outside with nary a thought on the inside. Bullies all.

Look closely and you’ll see that each has a different character. There’s a leader who has no idea where he’s going. There is the faithful number 2 who follows the leader without question. This thistle has no idea that he’s lost. And then there’s the character I love the most: the butt of every joke, the low-man-on-the-totem-pole. The follower. This thistle is just happy to belong. He doesn’t care where he goes as long as he’s with the pack. A directionless devotee.

What I adore about my budding animated-thistle-story is that each character is defined by their relationship with the other two. Leaders cannot lead without willing followers. Likewise, the role of faithful servant, blind follower, the second in command, only knows himself relative to number one. Number two puffs up on hot air borrowed from of the boss. And the low man, the thistle picked last for the team, will take any bone thrown his way. The other two are careful not to throw too many bones. Status games are like that: high status leaders need grovelers on the bottom rung. Mo, Larry, Curly.

Cranky, Earnest, Docile.

Cranky, the thistle leader, is ego-driven. He can do no wrong so, being directionless, he is constantly proclaiming himself a victim. “The forest is out to get me!” Earnest works hard to validate Cranky’s reality. If Cranky says it is true, it must be true! “The forest has it in for Cranky!” Docile, in turn, will perform any task without question. Docile will march in the streets, break windows, lie, hide documents…all to be one of the gang and, by association, feel one-rung-above. Docile is dutiful. The noticeable absence of question or thought is what makes Docile such a rich character. He is a lemming in thistle-clothes.

The absence of direction or thought or moral compass is what makes these three spiky stooges so utterly comical. So utterly frightening. So utterly close to home out here in the real world. Animation. Our poor thoughtless cartoon nation.

Boundaries/Right Now © 2010 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora and iHeart Radio

read Kerri’s blog about THISTLES

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buymeacoffee is a thumbs-up for thinking, a nod of approval for curiosity and questions.

Don’t Wait! [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab]

I’ve shared Master Marsh’s insight before: “Customer service…” he said, “…is a firewall against serving the customer.”

This smack-dab is hot off the reality press; it just happened. When she hung up the phone, she immediately reached for the computer. “What are you doing?” I asked.

“You’ll see.” she smirked.

It tickles me that Kerri so readily translates and transforms her real-world experiences into our cartoon land personas. If nothing else, if no one on earth ever reads our weekly comic strip, of this I am certain: smack-dab is good for our mental health.

“As the customer, isn’t the business supposed to be valuing our time above their time?” I asked, knowing I was about to get that special stink-eye saved for my too-idealistic-no-duh-commentary. She didn’t disappoint!

“Where’s the complaint department?” I asked in mock rage.

She smiled, “Your wait time will be three hours and fifteen minutes.”

read Kerri’s blogpost about WAIT TIMES

Bonus cartoon from the Flawed Archive:

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buymeacoffee is a tip jar dedicated to keeping cartoon characters real.

Do A Take [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab]

It’s true. Every single day.

Imagine my good fortune.

read Kerri’s blogpost about TAKES

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buymeacoffee is a thing you do if you so desire and a thing we appreciate when you do.

Forget It! [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab]

Words have become like socks in a dryer. With no reasonable explanation they simply disappear into space. Two socks go in. One sock comes out.

We’ve turned our word loss into a game. “ARGH! I CAN’T THINK OF THE WORD!” she says. “IT BEGINS WITH A THE LETTER C.” And so we commence a hearty round of word-hide-and-seek. And, inevitably, invariably, the lost word does not begin with C but is hiding behind any other of the 25 available letters in the alphabet. We know the game is over when the word jumps out of hiding and we declare, “YES! THAT’S IT!” followed by, “Wait. That doesn’t begin with C…”

The good news? I can’t remember it. But I know it’s here somewhere and begins with the letter “G”.

Read Kerri’s blog about LOST WORDS

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buymeacoffee is the secret potion capable of keeping our vocabulary intact.

Go Wireless [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab.]

As someone who’s never had to navigate the horrors of an underwire bra, I find myself distinctly unqualified to make a comment. And, as someone male, who’s never had to navigate the horrors of an underwire bra, I find silence-on-the-subject is by far the wisest choice.

I can, however, completely understand the resolution to live each day with less pain. The less pain and discomfort the better! I’ll join Kerri in that resolution! Literally or metaphorically, go wireless or go home!

Happy New Year.

read Kerri’s blogpost on WIRELESS

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buymeacoffee is a world without underwire. metaphorically.

Strut Your Flannel [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab]

As I’ve written before, we are a scintillating couple riding high on the cutting edge of fashion. Not. Black t-shirts. Black thermals. Jeans. That’s about it. Though (make sure you are seated for this next shocking bit-o-information): I have a few new flannel shirts. Two are green. One is black. Stand back! There’s some green in the house!

In other regions of flannel interest, there are sheets (it’s winter and cotton is an ice-cold-night-time-plunge that I avoid) and, at holiday time, the buffalo-plaid-flannel pjs make an appearance. I’d strut-my-flannel on the way to the coffeemaker in the morning but tis the season to be humble so fa-la-la-la-lah, la-la-la-la!

Truth? I couldn’t strut in the morning no matter what I was wearing. Buffalo-plaid helps hide the shuffle.

read Kerri’s blogpost about FLANNEL

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buymeacoffee is a warm flannel heart-wrap capable of inspiring support for the continued work of the shuffling artists that you appreciate.

Pile It On [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab.]

We’re in agreement about “the news”. Nightmarish. We are in disagreement about the temperature. I go through the winter months adding layers of clothing and piling on the blankets. Kerri is constantly peeling off layers, tossing off blankets. I like the cool night air but draw the line at frostbite. She likes the cool night air but is willing to go all the way to icicles-on-eyelashes. At night we live in an episode of Life Below Zero.

On the bright side, eyes-frozen-shut eliminates any possibility of accidentally glimpsing the nightmarish news. Silver linings sometimes come in surprisingly cold packages.

read Kerri’s blogpost about COLD NIGHTS

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buymeacoffee is an uncanny hot flash of cold wind meant to open consideration of supporting the continued work of the artists that freeze your fingertips.

Get Lost [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab]

It’s true. She is sometimes hypnotized by items in a grocery store. At first I mistakenly thought she was reading every word on the labels or was frozen in some pain. Now I know better. She gets lost in reminiscence. The stuff on the shelf serves as a memory trigger.

My job is twofold: first, to protect her from oncoming carts. People with lists are notoriously poor drivers. Kneeling people, lost in a memory fit, are hard to see. Second, after an adequate amount of time, to snap her out of it. Her capacity for threading back in memory-time knows no equal so sometimes she needs a nudge to return to the present.

Oh, Yes. There’s a third job: after such a long trip her joints actually freeze and she sometimes needs help standing up.

read Kerri’s blogpost about WAX PAPER

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buymeacoffee is like wax paper in a grocery store, capable of throwing you back to a magical time before zip-lock bags, phones with cords and art appreciation day.