Posted on December 23, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative
Years ago, after watching a workshop production of Romeo & Juliet performed by actors who were in their teens – the age of Romeo & Juliet – our post-play discussion touched on a truism: when you are young, everything seems eternal. If you are in pain, it is forever. If you are in bliss, it is all-consuming. The young lovers, once in pain, felt that they had no other path but to end their pain.
Long life teaches that nothing is forever. Just wait awhile and hope will come skipping around the bend.
In the cycle of the year, these dark winter days are made celebratory by the ever-so-slight return of the light. For generations, people have gathered to honor the promise of future warmth. Hope will soon have buds appear on barren branches.
Some folks-on-earth believe that their act of gathering, performing their ritual, invokes the return of light. They are participants and not mere observers. They are stewards of life rather than consumers of resource.
It’s an interesting exercise. Try it. Tonight, when you light your candles, imagine for a moment that your action matters. It is not merely beautiful.
Imagine, in the moment of touching match to wick, that you are a bringer of light. Imagine that the earth hears and responds to the songs that you sing or that the sun is listening to your heart. Imagine that you are a keeper-of-the-seed-of-hope and, with the magnifying power of family, friends, and community, together, you have to power to reawaken the spring.
Posted on December 20, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative
Moon and contrail had a conversation.
One was short-lived, appreciating a few moments of life. The other celebrates birthdays that run into the billions of years.
One is made of water while the other is made of metal and stone.
One moves in circular orbits. The other is known for its straight lines.
One is made by humans in motion. The other is made by planets in motion.
Both experience transformation. One began as tiny vapor and morphed into liquid. The other began as tiny bits of earth-debris and transmuted into a solid orb. A satellite.
Although alien to each other in contrast, they recognized their similarity in comparison: their very existence depends upon the movement of others, forces out of their control. The collision of planets. The exhaust of airplanes. People attempting to “get there”. The pull of gravity. Stars tumbling ever further to find what simply may not exist: the boundary, the end of the universe, creating dust in their tumble that reconstitutes as beings on a teeny-tiny blue planet, people imagining planes that make contrails, and rockets that might reach for the moon.
Posted on December 18, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative
“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.” ~ Pema Chödrön
These dark days rolling into the winter solstice make me restless.
Last week, while cleaning her studio, Kerri found a demo tape. It was recorded for her producer and included song possibilities for her album As Sure As The Sun. It was just her and her piano, single takes. Simple. I was moved to tears. I didn’t know her during those years. When all of the production values are stripped away, there is nothing between you and the purity of the artist and this demo is a recording of pure artistry. Sharing it with me made her restless.
I have a new painting in progress. I’m painting over another piece, covering a painting I never liked that now reminds me of a not-so-good-time. I began the new painting using rags because I have a tendency to go to detail too fast. With a rag as a brush, detail is not possible. With a rag as a brush, fun is possible. I sighed with relief as the last bits of the old painting disappeared.
We haven’t walked much in these past weeks. It’s been cold and we’re not yet back to full speed after our visit with Covid. It’s making us restless. Our restlessness is helping our impulse to clean out our house. The energy has to go someplace and it’s finding release in moving furniture and tossing old relics. It’s finding release in tossing out long-held stories and too-rigidly-held-beliefs.
We’re mostly in the demolition stage of recreating our nest – and ourselves. There’s no rush. Winter promises to be long. The incoming kakistocracy is not going away anytime soon so our sanctuary-improvement-project, our strategy for self-preservation, need not be rushed and can move at a restless turtle’s pace.
Who wrote that discovery is more useful than invention? I can’t remember. No matter. We are restless and so, therefore, we are wide-open to discover. The gift of restlessness.
“…and the vessel was not full, his intellect was not satisfied, his soul was not at peace, his heart was not still.” ~ Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha
Posted on December 13, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative
“We need, in love, to practice only this: letting each other go. For holding on comes easily; we do not need to learn it.” ~ Rainier Maria Rilke
I’ve never been a big fan of the holidays. Most of my life I’ve lived far away from family. Most of my life I’ve been a wanderer, detached from any meaningful feeling of “home”. I’ve never been a believer in any religious tradition though I understand to my bones the deeply human necessity of celebrating the solstice, observing with ritual the return of the light. It’s mythic, this annual journey through the darkness and back into the light.
It’s an experience common to all people on earth. No matter the story wrapped around it – birth or rebirth or journey or emergence – the commemoration of light’s return springs from a shared human experience. Literally and in metaphor, our lives parallel the movement of our planet around the life-giving sun. Would that we could recognize our sameness instead of fight over our perceived differences!
As I’ve previously written, the moment I stepped into this house was the first moment in my life that I felt “home”. In my imagination I saw the word “home” written on the wall. As a dedicated wanderer it frightened me. Now, more than a decade later, I am grateful for the intense struggle the wanderer-in-me fought and lost to finally – finally – arrive home.
We decorate our house for the holiday over many days. It is a work in progress that is both intentional, improvisational and responsive. We discover as we go. This season, in a nation filling itself with darkness, we have more reason than ever to create a space in our home that celebrates the return of the light.
We are also learning, in the midst of this looming shadow, how to fill ourselves with light. How to let go. We are learning how to stand in a center of intentional light in the midst of the swirling darkness. We are more than ever understanding the necessary delineation between solid-center and fluid-circumstance, how to root in the center without grappling with the passing state of affairs.
As we clean out, as we practice letting go of our stuff, both literal and metaphoric, we also decorate. We create a beautiful space, simple and warm, a place called home, safe and solid, where we turn to the sky and witness the return of the light.
Posted on December 4, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative
It seems an odd time of year to see caterpillars. I am not a caterpillar expert. I’m not even a caterpillar novice so my perception of caterpillar oddity is based on nothing. Were we at a party and the conversation swung to caterpillars, I’d express my baseless opinion with forceful conviction. “Isn’t it strange!” I’d proclaim, “Caterpillars on the trail in the fall! Who’s ever heard of such a thing!” My conviction would have the other party-goers nodding their heads in agreement. Conviction without substance would make me a man of my times.
Of course, confessing my caterpillar ignorance compelled me to consult with the great oracle Google. I do not want to be a man of my times. As it turns out, as nature would have it, as is easily found with a simple-one-second search, Woolly Bear Caterpillars are abundant in the fall. They will someday transmogrify into Isabella Tiger Moths. And, as folklore would have it, farmer’s lore, the severity of the upcoming winter might be predicted based on the color of its bands. Fuzzy black indicates a harsh winter. Abundant brown bands indicate a milder winter. This fully black fuzzy caterpillar has me dusting off my snow shovel.
There is, however, a caveat: the great oracle Google was careful to note that the caterpillar-color-winter-prediction-method is not scientifically accurate. It is not as reliable as The National Oceanic Atmospheric Administration. By-the-by, NOAA is on the cut-list of the incoming administration. Who needs science when there’s an unreliable old-farmer’s-tale-method of weather prediction!
Another Woolly Bear Caterpillar weather prediction myth is based on the direction it is traveling. If it is scootching along in a southerly direction, that indicates to old-farmer-information-less believers a severe winter. If it is wiggling its way north, then the winter is meant to be mild. I didn’t have my compass on the day that we saw this caterpillar crossing the path but I can assume by its full-black-fuzziness that it was sprinting to the south. Again, Google cautions that the caterpillar-direction-method-of-winter-severity is unreliable, not scientifically accurate.
This is the only part of this post that is verifiable: had we been on a path traveled by bicycles, Kerri would have lifted the Woolly Bear Caterpillar from the path and carried it out of harm’s way. She wants to do everything in her power to ensure that the little critter will meet its miraculous destiny and awake someday as an Isabella Tiger Moth. In this case, we watched it all the way until it reached the far side and disappeared into the fall grasses. I could tell that part of the story at a party and be absolutely certain that I was relaying accurate information. I have data. And experience. I’ve seen her caterpillar kindness with my own eyes.
Posted on November 26, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative
It always happens this time of year. We jump on a trail in the early afternoon thinking we have plenty of time and are caught completely off guard when the sun sets. “What time is it?” we ask in our annual ritual of amazement. It is always earlier – much earlier – than we think. “It’s not even happy hour!” we declare, walking in the dark, as if the great-gods-of-daylight might not have fully considered the impact on happy hour before they magically turned the dial and made 4:30pm feel like midnight.
This fall we feel particularly out of sync with time. We lost the month of October to Covid. We feel as if Covid was a portal into the Twilight Zone: we entered the month with hope and health and by the time we emerged from our sickness, it was the middle of November and the world was completely changed. Darker. It feels a bit Rip-Van-Winkle-ish.
Rob once told me when I felt lost in the woods, that the best thing to do was sit down and be still. Not to panic or walk in circles. To surrender trying-to-be-found. “Sit down and be lost. Relax and pay attention,” he wrote, “then maybe a direction will reveal itself to you.”
It was sage advice and even more so in the current darkness descending on our nation. On one level, we are preparing for the storm of chaos and indecency coming down the pike. On another level, feeling lost and confused with the national inversion of dignity and civility, we are choosing to sit down. We are choosing to be lost. It is more useful, now that the initial disgust and disbelief is past, to relax and pay attention.
For all of us who value the promise of the ideal beating at the heart of our Constitution, now threatened by thuggery and incompetence, it is our belief that a direction will reveal itself.
In the meantime, we surrender trying to be found. In the meantime, we hold firmly to each other and our hope…
Posted on November 18, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative
Well, it is nothing short of Faustian.
In the tale, Faust makes a pact with Mephistopheles, the devil, exchanging his soul for unlimited power and material gain. Nothing can touch him for the term of the bargain: the span of his lifetime.
We are living at a moment in time when truth is stranger than fiction, a time in which fiction has made a stranger of truth.
The despot-elect is currently scheduled to be sentenced for his 34 felony convictions on November 26. The opinion prior to the election:
A “get out of jail free card”. An appropriate analogy since it refers to the game of Monopoly, where money amassers gain dominance over the board and rise above the rules. Money in our real-world-game allows delays-to-justice to stretch into eternity.
In addition to being found guilty of 34 felonies in his Hush Money case, there are three other federal indictments: Federal Election Interference, Georgia Election Interference, and the Classified Documents case. What will happen to these indictments? Poof! The moment he steps into office, they go away. The “get out of jail free” card is the presidency.
We are learning that there is, in fact, not justice for all.
In literature there are two endings to the story of Faust. In the early version, the term of the bargain expires (he dies), Mephistopheles claims his soul and carts him off to hell. In the later version, Goethe’s version, scrubbed clean for those who like Hallmark happy endings, Faust is redeemed. Gretchen, the woman he used and abused, pleads with the divine to spare him. The eternal feminine redeems him. Plucked from the arms of Mephistopheles, the divine swoops in and saves Faust from himself, from fulfilling the terms of his bargain.
Faust got his cake and ate it, too. No lessons learned. No responsibility for choices or actions. No justice for all the people Faust used, exploited, ruined, and chucked away.
Redemption for a soulless man is a fine ending for an opera.
In real life, not so much.
Is there justice for all? Not according to the supreme court.
Is there justice for all? Not according to the voting public.
Is there justice for all? Not according to the republican party that twice refused to find him guilty when impeached. The evidence was clear for all to see and hear. It was broadcast across the world. And then, poof! Get out of jail free.
Is there justice for all? We’ll see on November 26 but I wouldn’t bet on it. I’m not a big believer in devils and gods but watching this horror-story-of-a-human-being repeatedly skate away from his crimes and ascend again to power is making me wonder. This time around, he can pillage with court-granted-immunity. Mephisto-Impunity.
It has made me wonder if Mephistopheles is giggling at the possibility of a much bigger score: the despot-elect might just help him walk away with the soul of our nation.* It is, I suspect, the terms of their bargain.
*We are a nation of laws. Justice for all is not simple rhetoric. It is the the north-star of our nation.
Posted on November 15, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative
The birds on a wire brought my Periwinkle book to mind. Context is everything. It is now as relevant as the day I wrote it:
Peri Winkle Rabbit was lost.
All the other animals were lost, too!
There had been a fire. Peri Winkle was asleep when grandpa Harry Winkle Rabbit shook her awake and said, “RUN!”
Peri ran. At first, Peri ran with her mom and dad, her sisters and brothers and grandpa Harry Winkle, too.
All the other animals were running, too, the deer and the bears and the foxes and the squirrels. Some were running in circles but most just ran away from the fire.
It was confusing. There were so many legs and paws running this way and that. Peri could no longer see her parents. She couldn’t see her brothers or sisters. Even grandpa Harry Winkle Rabbit was nowhere to be found.
Peri stopped and got knocked down. She hopped back up and called out for her mother. She called for her father. She couldn’t see them anywhere.
A great paw scooped her up and she was suddenly eye to eye with a bear!
“This is no time for still standing, little ears!” said the bear.
“I can’t find my family,” squeaked Peri Winkle Rabbit. The bear was holding her very tight.
“We’ll find your family, little ears,” puffed the running bear, “But first we have to find a place safe and beyond the fire.”
The bear held Peri Winkle Rabbit close to his chest. Peri could hear the boom-Boom of the bear’s big heart as he ran swiftly away from the flames. Peri Winkle Rabbit felt so sad and so tired, she couldn’t help it when she fell fast asleep.
“Good morning, little ears!” The bear smiled as Peri blinked open her eyes.
“Where am I?” asked Peri.
“I don’t rightly know, “ said the bear, “but we’re now safe and far from the fire.”
That’s how Peri Winkle Rabbit came to be lost. She looked around and saw that the forest was gone! The other animals looked and they saw it too. All the green was now black and the mighty trees were charcoal twigs twisted in ruins on the ground.
The animals started to cry. Even the big bear cried. Peri cried, too. Together, they made lots of loud crying sounds and it felt good to wail the loss of their forest home.
And then, they each told their stories of escape from the fire. They told of their lost homes and missing family and friends. They told the stories of their cuts and their bruises, their fears and their worries. They told of how they came to be together, in that place at that time. Peri Winkle Rabbit told her story, too.
“What do we do now?” a red fox asked, which was exactly the question that Peri Winkle Rabbit was thinking!
No one said a word for a very long time. They looked at each other, all covered in soot, dirty and singed and ruffled and tired.
“Well,” a great ram began, “I am sure footed, I can help carry what’s needed.”
A hawk landed on the ram and said, “I can see far away and can help find your missing families and friends.”
The great bear said, “Yes, and I have a nose that can smell good smells for many miles, I will help supply all of my new friends with food!”
“I can gather nuts!” cried the squirrel, rubbing his nose with his hands.
“I have great ears!” cried Peri Winkle Rabbit! “I can hear what is needed and help find who can do it!”
And all the animals offered their great gifts in service to their new friends. They slowly began to do what was needed with whatever they could find. They found water and food. They found shelter from the rain. They looked for their families. They made new friends.
“Remember, a forest must grow back slowly, one day at a time,” said the bear when Peri felt impatient.” Our job is to help it grow.”
“It is all different than before,” said Peri, suddenly missing her old home.
“Yes,” said the bear. “We are all different now, little ears. The fire has changed us forever.”
Peri Winkle Rabbit wrinkled her nose.
The great bear smiled and hugged her close, saying, “Now might be the time for still standing, little ears, we don’t want to miss the lessons of the fire.”
So together Peri Winkle rabbit and the great bear sat very still, listening to the forest and thinking about all that had happened. And though she didn’t quite know where she was, Peri Winkle Rabbit wasn’t lost anymore.
A one-copy book made for a child who lost their family during Hurricane Katrina. I’ve never published the full text but thought it was time. I included photos of a few of the pages.
Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora
Posted on October 31, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative
It’s a windy day and the chimes are singing to us. The wind is from the west so the temperatures are rising. We opened the windows. It feels as if the house is breathing, taking in the fresh air before the temperatures drop and the doors and windows are sealed against the cold.
I know that we are breathing. Kerri said that there’s nothing like a ride in an ambulance to give you perspective. She thought of our children. She thought of me. “Nothing else mattered,” she said. Each breath we take includes a sigh of relief.
Life can change in an instant.
We walked the rim trail. We sat on the edge of the Grand Canyon. It’s an awesome thing – especially for someone who is afraid of heights as I am – to sit on the edge without any guardrails. Full exposure. To me, it feels as if the canyon is pulling me over the edge. It’s disorienting. Of course, it is not pulling me, I know. The feeling, the fear, comes from inside of me.
I heard a powerful statement this week. With the supreme court’s jaw-dropping ruling on presidential immunity, with the Project 2025 plan ready to replace civil servants with those who will swear an oath of loyalty to the dictator-wanna-be, with a cabinet of sycophants and loyalists, there is only one guardrail left between our democracy and our nation being pulled into the abyss of fascism. The maga-clan isn’t even trying to mask their hatred, their authoritarian intention; it was on full display in Madison Square Garden.
The GOP has dissolved into a puddle of cowardice. Fearing it will lose a dollar, the business community and much of the media have tucked their tail, dropped their collective spine and are playing hear-no-evil-see-no-evil.
We are in the ambulance, now. What world will we leave our children?
The guardrail is us. You and me. Our vote. I suppose that is as it should be. A “Government of the people. by the people, for the people…” – a democracy in crisis – should necessarily depend upon the people to deliver it from the hands of an autocrat.
We are and should be the guardrail against tyranny.
It only takes a minute to read the full text of The Gettysburg Address. Lincoln’s final thought in his very concise address are as relevant today as they were the day he dedicated The Soldier’s National Cemetery, November 19, 1863:
“—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth. ~ Abraham Lincoln
It is our turn. We are the guardrail. We are the generation that will determine whether or not our nation, “…conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal…can long endure.”
Vote as if our democracy depends on it – because it does.
Posted on October 29, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative
It was a rare treat to climb the stairs to the rooftop deck and gaze into the night sky, unobstructed by city lights. Years ago I worked with kids in Los Angeles, teenagers, who had never seen the stars. Standing on the roof, overwhelmed by the Milky Way, I thought about those children, now well into their adulthood, and hoped that they had, at long last, found a way to peer into the endless universe.
What else might adequately provide them the understanding of the impossibility of their existence, the enormity of their lives? What else might open their eyes and hearts to the necessity of community, the recognition that their lives only have meaning relative to the people who share this planet and this moment-in-time with them? Relationship is purpose.
We have seven days. In biblical terms that’s how long it took the metaphoric god to differentiate light from dark, land from sea, moon from sun, animals from humans. Rest from work. Humanity’s role in this story of creation is to appreciate the enormity of their unlikely existence. To steward. To name. To discern between merit and the meritless, between truth and lie. To distinguish good intention from ill-intention.
We have seven days until we vote. Although we might pretend this is normal, this election is like no other in our lifetimes. The issues have taken a back seat to the question of our existence as a democracy. We are determining whether or not we are still capable of distinguishing truth from lie, whether or not we are willing to toss away our freedoms and replace them with authoritarian rage, whether or not we will serve the needs of the greater community or the power-lust of an individual.
Seven days. We will either step forward as champions of light and truth or we will turn our backs on what we know to be true and fall backwards into the dark fascist promises of Project 2025.
Under the stars we have a choice: to continue our quest to realize the dream of a more perfect union, with liberty and justice for all – or to exchange our constitution for the autocratic craving of an angry despot. To honestly name what we know to be true.
There’s still time to climb the stairs, peer into the starry sky, and realize the power of our choices, what is at stake in this, our time, our moment.
The Direction of Intention 