Scratch The Soil [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

For some reason this photograph reminds me of Andrew Wyeth’s great painting, Christina’s World. The landscapes are not remotely the same. His Christina pulls herself through dry grasses on the coast of Maine. Kerri’s photo is of a cornfield in Wisconsin. But there’s something similar about the spirit. Maybe it’s the starkness? I feel it in my belly, an inner quality to the outer image.

There is something willful about corn. In the cliff houses of the Anasazi, archeologists found corn. We take it for granted. Since we can purchase butter lettuce grown hydroponically we forget that there was a time when cultivating food was a new experience. A new relationship with the mystery. It’s the reason people worshipped the corn. It’s like an old joke: it’s not the corn, stupid, the worship was with the relationship to the mystery. It’s never about the form. It’s always about the relationship. A lesson we moderns have yet to learn. The joke continues to be on us.

It’s the same lesson that every artist learns and relearns. It’s not about the painting, the final image. Andrew Wyeth’s painting was not about Christina. It is his reach into the mystery. He must have touched something because his painting opens the mystery to us.

Standing before a blank canvas is like the Anasazi scratching open the soil, the wonder of the seed. The planting of the corn. The promise of nourishment.

read Kerri’s blogpost about CORN

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Peek Behind The Facade [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

Two people sit at a bar, late in the afternoon, and order far too many appetizers. Then, when offered, they say “Yes” to a peek at the dessert menu. They split a second glass of wine. They seem as if they have not-a-care-in-the-world.

Things are rarely as they appear.

I often remind myself that I can never know the full story of another person’s life. My reminder comes in handy when I am judging or comparing. It is the thinnest image slice that invokes judgment. My comparison is made with a facade.

The day of our anniversary was so fraught that we couldn’t reach through the angst to touch a moment of celebration. We sabotaged the day. Lit it on fire and watched it burn.

The next day we took a very long hike. We sorted through the ashes of our angst. We laughed at ourselves. After our hike we decided to have a glass of wine. We did what we almost never do: we spent money on ourselves. Two people at the bar. We decided to order appetizers and, since it was a make-up day for our anniversary, we ordered anything and everything we wanted. Pressure release. We were like kids in a candy store, our eyes a’ poppin’ when the food arrived. We clapped our hands. We giggled. We savored each delicious bite.

Our plates and glasses were empty. So full we could barely move. As a courtesy the bartender asked us if we wanted to see the dessert menu. He was as surprised as I was when Kerri said, “Yes.” And then she ordered another glass of wine for us to split. And then, a slice of flourless chocolate torte.

This was a first. In our decade of life together, frugality has been our necessity. A first taste of excess, a moment of generosity to ourselves, was a healing balm. An anniversary celebration.

We laughed at the story the bartender must have told of this care-free couple. Of their excess. He could not have known.

“For one person to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks…” wrote Rainier Maria Rilke. “Loving…is a tremendous responsibility.”

read Kerri’s blogpost about DESSERT

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Count The Angels [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

One day on the trail we talked of the good angels that surround us. 20 and Brad and Jen. The Up North Gang. Horatio and Guy. Smith and Dwig and Arnie. There are too many to count. Dogga is an angel. John and Michele. People we rely on. People who show up when we need help. People who reach out with a kind word. People who let you know that they are there. Alex. Kim. Kate and Jerry. Buffalo Bob. People who listen when we need to talk it through. People who inspire us. People that we simply know are out there, our spiritual safety net. MM. Master Miller. Judy. People who have walked before us. Tom Mck, Quinn, Columbus. Beaky and Pa.

Too many to count.

I believe County Rainy Day was an angel sent to remind me not to fixate on a single path but to look left and right: what might appear a deviation is, in fact, the heart path. Like County Rainy Day, some angels appear in our lives for a brief moment and then are gone. The security guard who let me stay in the small airport after closing; he knew I didn’t have money for a taxi or a hotel. An angel.

This was the point of our trail conversation: the angels that populate our lives are not ethereal abstractions. They are the people and critters who walk the path with us. They show up in critical moments and during the everyday. They are as messy and confused as we are and unafraid to show it. They, therefore, want to help make our path easier. We want to help make their path easier.

And, in the process of helping, of showing up for each other – together – we fill this very short life window with treasure beyond measure. Presence. Attention. Support. Encouragement. Reflection. Good angel stuff.

[happy birthday, pa]

read Kerri’s blogpost about ANGELS

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Savor The Words [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Her delight in finding the stack of Nancy Drew novels, her girlhood favorites, sparked a question. She asked, “What did you read as a kid?” Instantly, I was a deer in the headlights. I muttered something incomprehensible and changed the subject in order to dodge the question.

It’s not that I didn’t remember. The truth is that I wasn’t a reader until I was in my mid 20’s. It’s as if someone threw a switch and I was instantly transformed from dullard to a voracious reader. I generally have two or three books going at the same time, making up for lost reading time.

A few years ago it occurred to me that I was reading like a starving man at a smorgasbord. I was gobbling words without breathing or tasting. So I decided to try an experiment. Read books like they are poetry. Savor a few pages at a time. Consider for a full day what I have read in my few pages. Re-read it if I am unclear. Re-read it if it is gorgeously written.

My experiment is going well. I’m living in the books rather than blowing through them. I delight in the phrases, the way words are put together to invoke images and sounds and tastes. Sometimes a phrase is so beautifully written it makes my eyes water. I feel as if I’ve pulled off the freeway, stepped out of the car, and am walking through a meadow. I see more. I appreciate more.

I credit the age of information with my new reading practice. I’ve been studying how people engage with their screens, how I have been engaging with my screen. We skim. We jump. We tab hop. There’s so much information demanding our attention, stuffing the nooks and crannies of our minds. Emails, texts, slacks, social streams…

I’m finding my peace, out of the stream and off the info-super-highway, turning paper pages with intention, paying full attention to what is written there, no more than a few pages at a time.

read Kerri’s blog about NANCY DREW

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Face Downwind [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab]

Mighty regrettable breath! I laughed so hard when I read this that tears came to my eyes. She didn’t back up when I laughed so I’m fairly confident that I’ve taken care of the problem. Either that or I’ve permanently damaged her sense of smell.

Note: She also ate the dip. That I didn’t write a cartoon about my point of view (smell) is why she loves ALMOST everything about me. Well, okay. She probably likes a lot of things about me. I think. I know she tolerates a very long list of eccentric character traits and quirks. All-in-all, I generally get a passing grade if I point my mighty regrettable breath downwind. And open the wine. And make the coffee.

read Kerri’s blogpost about MY BREATH!!!!!!!

(Oh great. She just said, “You don’t really have bad breath.” And laughed raucously.)

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Meet Your Destiny [David’s blog on KS Friday]

I appreciate phrases like “As luck would have it.” The personification of Luck. It comforts me to imagine what Luck might look like. Somedays he dons a bowler hat and cane and wiggles his eyebrows when questioned. Sometimes Luck is a lady in an evening gown and Doc Martins; a swirling contradiction who laughs at our predictions.

And then there’s “Meet your destiny.” A place. A location in space and time. A spot on the road that you probably did not intend to visit..but there you are. A person as a destination. I feel that way about Kenosha, Wisconsin. Not in my wildest imagination did I think I would live anywhere in the midwest, especially a place called Kenosha. And then, as luck would have it, I met my destiny.

My destiny and I both love the fall. It is our favorite time of year. We like to take long walks. We lift snakes off the trail with sticks so bikes don’t run over them. We stop and stare back at the deer. We count the turtles that we spy. Yesterday there was a train of turtles sunning themselves on a single small rock. Four in a row. A hawk flew overhead. A heron high-stepped through the shallows. She stood guard over a fuzzy black caterpillar so the approaching hikers would see it. We laughed heartily as she stayed with the critter until it disappeared into the tall grasses. Caterpillar crossing guard.

I was not around when Kerri was on the road performing. I’ve seen her run rehearsals and play for services. I was her roadie for a house concert or two. I treasure the night she played the piano on an empty stage, in an empty theatre. It was enormous. It was heartbreaking. I’ve sat with her in her studio many nights while she played for me songs that are not yet recorded.

Time flies. Time as a bird or a plane. A rushing current of air.

As Luck would have it, Kerri stumbled onto some video from 1996. The release concert for her 2nd and 3rd albums. What a gift to see even a few minutes of her performance. Twenty five minutes of footage, early in her career. One thing was abundantly clear as I watched. She was doing exactly what she is on this earth to do. It’s visible. I could see it. Sitting at her piano, easy and sure, she was meeting her destiny.

I watched her watch the footage. Reaching back to move forward. Time flies. As luck would have it. A twist of fate. In the fall of our lives, she turned and gazed hard at the horizon.

Kerri’s music is available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora and iHeart Radio

read Kerri’s blogpost about SUN THROUGH AUTUMN TREES

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Circle Back Again [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

I could have sworn a famous John Singer Sargent painting featured hibiscus. He painted poppies and roses. There is his famous Carnation, Lily, Lily, Rose. Google isn’t helping me very much – or, today, I have very little patience.

The truth is I want to dig out my old art books and have a full analog experience. I want to turn pages and smell the ink and the dust. It’s a cold wet day. Dark. I want to sit in my studio rocking chair and revisit the version-of-me that used to sit for hours studying the paintings of masters. I have traveled full circle. I am back to believing that I know nothing. I am a beginner again.

In Scotland, a long time ago, John Singer Sargent’s portrait of Lady Agnew stopped me in my tracks. I wasn’t prepared for what I was about to encounter. Rounding a corner I saw the portrait hanging at the end of the hall. The brushstrokes were easy and free. Get close to it and you’ll discover there is no wasted motion. The paint speaks. It’s not a large portrait yet I felt it as a gut punch. Had I not been blocking the view of others, I would have stood before it all day. I left the museum certain that I knew nothing at all.

I’ve learned to appreciate these phases of not-knowing. They are not necessarily comfortable. Yearning never is. There’s nothing like empty space in your chest and a lump in your throat to set in motion a walk toward the next horizon. What’s over there?

On the trail yesterday I re-remembered the-one-thing, the one-essential-ingredient that makes a walk toward the horizon and away from the safety-of-the-known an adventure: under no circumstances must I take myself too seriously. Do not eat the ego-illusion that my work must or will change the world. It won’t. The world does not need changing. It only needs to be experienced. And I only need to express what I find as I circle back, sharing what I discover.

underpainting for what’s next

Visit my gallery site

read Kerri’s blogpost about Hibiscus

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Play Well [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

“It takes a very long time to become young.” ~ Pablo Picasso

Early in our collaboration, when my plan seemed too fun-loving for our corporate clients, it struck fear in the heart of my business partner. I was fond of telling her, “Everyone really wants to play.”

And, I believed it. I believe it still. Everyone really wants to play. The challenge of stimulating entrepreneurship or innovation or creativity is never about opening minds; it is to scale the fortress walls we erect around our light hearts. The same is true with change initiatives and diversity-equity-inclusion. The heart is the target and playfulness is the path.

In general, the epicenter of what ails us is that we take ourselves too seriously. The cure: play. When the mask of seriousness falls, there’s nothing left to do but play well with others.

I am reminded of the cure every time we assemble at the cabin with The Up North Gang. The overriding intention of our gatherings is to take nothing seriously. To play. We eat too much. We snack with abandon. We adventure. We make space for fun and eschew all serious pursuits. We laugh. Spirits are lifted. Eyes and hearts open. Ideas and imagination flow like a raging river, so warm, safe and impish are our companions.

Play is an action but it is also the fruit of an environment. People cannot play if they do not feel safe. Another truism I learned during my walk in the organizational wastelands: environment creates behavior. So many serious faces; so much fear of being seen “as”… There’s nothing like a safe space to foster a hotbed of creativity.

A warm autumn day, a blue-blue sky, the leaves vibrant with fall color. A quiet mind. An open heart. A great relief. I realized that over these many months Kerri and I have not felt safe, swimming as we are on the bottom of Maslow’s Hierarchy. I was suddenly and profoundly overwhelmed by the lightness in my heart, the ease in my being, the great gift of our Up North Gang.

A gentle reminder that the path forward is rarely found by squeezing together synapses and figuring-it-out in-the-mind. The path becomes clear when illuminated by the lively spirit of play. Heart-paths become visible. I smiled at all that I know and too often forget. Everyone really wants to play.

read Kerri’s blogpost about AUTUMN UP NORTH

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Eternal Thanks [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

Eight years ago today, 10-10, at 11:11am, Kerri and I were married. Our guests teased us that our reception started at 12:12. The food truck was delayed in showing up and arrived one minute late at 1:02.

The altar was awash in daisies. Susan made daisy cupcakes. The first day I met Kerri she was holding a daisy so that I might recognize her at the airport. Daisies have been our flower ever since. She carried a bouquet of daisies as she walked down the aisle to join me.

Kerri wrote and recorded a song for me that played when I entered the church. It was a blue jeans wedding, our guests wore white shirts so we could wear our beloved black.

So many of our friends and family made food, decorated the beach house for our reception, fetched wine and coffee, built the bonfire on the beach. Kerri’s choir circled us and sang We Are Family. I like to think of our wedding as a barn-raising. My sister and niece jumped in to organize the moving pieces. So many people showed up and pitched in. Judy played her magic harp. Jim played his guitar. The ukulele band sang What A Wonderful World. Kerri and I shared words from our Roadtrip. Arnie and 20 were at my side. Kirsten and Craig stood beside Kerri.

We skipped out of the church just as we skipped out of the airport on the day we met.

Each day, every single day, I am grateful for the second chance that life brought to me. I. Am. The. Luckiest. Man. Alive.

If for a moment you doubt that this universe is generous, all you need do is think of me. Think of us.

and now © 2015 kerri sherwood

read Kerri’s blogpost about OUR ANNIVERSARY

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Peel The Layers [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

We lay awake deep into the night. The window was open and the crisp fall air drove us deep beneath the quilt. And we talked. Lately, for reasons too complex to explain, we’ve been steeped in a comprehensive full-life review. Gently peeling back the layers and bandages of our lives, uncovering the hard choices and left-hand-turns that led us to this place, this cold sleepless night, with the rhythmic rumble of trains in the distance, the lake lapping the shore.

The dark of night rolling into dawn is an ideal time to soul search.

We talked of the times in our lives when we didn’t speak up. We talked of the times when we couldn’t speak up. Fear is a great silencer. We told stories of running from our voices.

We talked of the times when we spoke up and paid a heavy price. We shared the times when we refused to speak up, when we stood in the self-made-fire and balked at screaming. We’ve had our share of fire but do not be fooled: fire does not always purify. What works with minerals does not necessarily work with people.

“It’s like a Viewmaster,” she said. The toy from childhood. “My memories are sometimes like clicking through a wheel of static images.”

More than once, as we shared our memories, I thought of a quote by Hermann Hesse:

“My story isn’t pleasant, it’s not sweet and harmonious like the invented stories, it tastes of folly and bewilderment, of madness and dream, like the life of people who no longer want to lie to themselves.”

As the sun rose on our conversation I understood that our searching souls had at long last arrived at a place of truth-telling. We no longer want to lie to ourselves. It is easy to speak up when there’s no need to hide or run or ignore what we know is true. In loss personal truth is found.

And we both know what is true for us. We know what is ours-to-do.

We lapsed into silence as the light through the window slid from soft grey into subtle pink-and-purple-blue. “We’ve both come a long way,” I thought-but-did-not-say, as we finally slipped into a deep dream-filled sleep.

read Kerri’s blogpost about SPEAK UP

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