restoration | The Direction of Intention

What if? [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

Posted on June 20, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative

A few months ago Horatio told me that I needed to paint. Lately I’ve been mostly writing. He suggested that it would be good for me to get back into the visual part of my brain, the part that isn’t reliant on words. Horatio is wise. This morning I went down stairs and spent some time in the studio. As is usually the case, he was right.

Weeks ago I sketched a painting on a canvas. It’s been sitting on my easel. Waiting. For today.

It took a few minutes for me to let go. Standing and staring at the sketch, I felt locked up. I grabbed a small brush which is always a signal that I am thinking too hard. I was trying to “solve” the image through a linear sequential process. I put down my little brush, opened a jar of paint, and dunked my fingers in the jar, and began to spread the red paint just like I did when I was 5 years old. I used a rag to smear and pull and shade some of the globs. I reminded myself that I didn’t need to know where I was going. In fact, I needed to “not know” where I was going and dance with the image.

After a while I stopped thinking and started responding. I sighed a deep sigh of relief. I lost track of time. I felt a wave of spaciousness roll in to my too tight mind. Energy restoration.

Horatio must have seen it in me. My grief.

It’s a question of balance. I have lately of my artistry been asking the question, “Why?” As I roll into the next phase of life I am revisiting my roots. Why did I start doing this anyway? Why, as a child, did I paint through the night. If you’d have asked the child version of me the question “Why?” I’d have answered, “Because I have to.” There was no choice. There was no “Why?” There was a driving imperative. A siren call to “What if?”

An aging Daisy. Kerri’s photograph brought to mind Tom Mck. He told me when he entered his sixties, he became invisible. He felt as if he was stepping into the prime of his creative years yet the people he’d mentored or directed or coached – the people whose careers he had informed, shaped and helped launch – the people he reached out to after retiring from his “real” job – no longer considered his artistry valid or valuable. They never told him that he was no longer viable in their eyes but he knew. They either didn’t return his calls or it was months later that he’d get a dodgy response to an inquiry or a question.

I am experiencing some of that.

Today in the studio I realized that I have been asking the wrong question. I already know why. Asking “why” is like picking up a little brush, it is to think too hard. The truth is that I’ve always known: Because I have to. The five year old version of me was not concerned with value and validity in the eyes of others. That version of me thought nothing of dipping his fingers into paint and swirling them across the page. Because it felt good. Because it felt right. This version of me – after I stopped thinking – knew just what to do. I “thought nothing” of opening the jar, dipping my fingers into the paint… What if?

My visibility or invisibility is, in fact, irrelevant. As Tom Mck drilled into me: A writer writes. A painter paints. The rest is simply out of my hands.

County Rainy Day. Underpainting the sketch with painty fingers

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Filed under: Art, Creativity, DR Thursday, Identity | Tagged: aging, art, artistry, asking why, creative prime, creativity, david robinson, davidrobinsoncreative.com, energy, finger painting, invisibility, Kerri Sherwood, kerri sherwood itunes, kerrianddavid.com, kerrisherwood.com, positive energy, presence, questions, restoration, story, studio melange, the melange, what if | 1 Comment »

Do The Opposite [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

Posted on May 23, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative

This is a simple story of wrong assumptions.

When we travel we rarely eat out. We prefer to cook. Exhaustion brought us to the decision to order a meal to take out.

We’d walked passed the Kenosha Grill in Breckenridge multiple times over our several visits. We thought it funny that the name of our home town was a prominent business on the main street of our favorite mountain town. “Someday,” we said, scoping the menu, “we’ll have to go in there.” It seemed too pricey for us. Dark and lodge-like. Not a place for us.

Exhaustion forced a path-of-least-resistance choice. We remembered The Kenosha Grill had a burger. It was a five minute walk from our lodging. We walked down the hill and into The Grill. It was nothing like I had imagined. Instead of dark and steak-housey, it was light in color and in spirit. We were directed to the bar to order our take out.

The bar was in the back, next to the doors that opened onto a deck that overlooked the river and the mountains. The doors were open and the cool evening mountain air begged us to sit. We ordered our take-out burger and then, with nary more than a look at each other, signaled the bartender that we’d stay. We’d eat at the bar. We ordered a glass of wine to share. We relaxed into the laughter of our bar mates. We basked in the low sun and mountain air.

Instead of further depletion, as I’d presumed, the cheery bartender, the light spirit of The Kenosha Grill, the sleepy dog holding court on the deck soaking up pets…gave us energy. Restored our spirits.

“We need to do this more often,” she said, feeling the energy return to our souls.

“Yes.” I said, and thought, “We need to more often challenge our assumptions.” We almost missed the very balm that we needed, the opposite of what I’d supposed.

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Filed under: DR Thursday, Gratitude | Tagged: artistry, assumptions, balm, breckenridge, david robinson, davidrobinsoncreative.com, Kenosha Grill, Kerri Sherwood, kerri sherwood itunes, kerrianddavid.com, kerrisherwood.com, light spirit, mountain town, rejuvenate, rejuvenation, relax, restoration, restored spirits, story, studio melange, suppose, the melange | 1 Comment »

Choose Your Metaphor [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

Posted on February 7, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative

It was demo day in the forest. Even though I intellectually understand habitat restoration initiatives, witnessing the actual process is disturbing. Large rolling-tractor-mulching-mouths pushing down trees and grinding them to pieces nearly as easily as I mow my front lawn. Kerri said, “I can hear the trees screaming.” In a matter of a few minutes, large swaths of the dense forest – trees and all that grow and live beneath them, reduced to “a layer of material.”

A forest fire could not have done a better job though a natural process would not have seemed so brutal.

The sun came out for the first time in many days. We went to our trail to catch our breath and clear our minds. The rapid eradication of the invasive species – and anything else that went into the mechanical mouth – took my breath and filled my mind with questions. I pondered the ubiquitous necessity “to do things fast.” Plow through.

Kerri has lately been cautioning me to go slow. We could – and by all rights should – be running around the farmyard like Chicken Little. The sky isn’t falling but sometimes seems that way. Panic is good for elevating the step count and lowering insurance costs but generally not a good strategy for dealing with…anything. Rather than cluck, react and put out fires, we are sitting steadfast in our fire. We are making choices. One step, one day at a time. One step on the trail. And another. Presence.

It was when we looped away from the machinery and screaming trees that I realized – beyond the obvious – why I found this destruction so disturbing. It was a mirror of our lives. A metaphor that cut too close to home. And, it was happening in the place where we always go to sort our challenges and restore our peace-of-mind.

And so, we walked the loop again. This time, in addition to the decimation, I saw space. I could see through what was previously a dense thicket. Had we chosen to do so we could have walked into areas that last week were impenetrable. Another metaphor, more palatable. Devastation is not an end. It is a step on the trail, a moment in time. A color on the palette of life (I could go on but I won’t). I decided that I was spacious enough to hold and appreciate two metaphors. Hope. Clear seeing. New perspective. and, the shock of rapid erasure of the woods – of life – as we knew it.

Through the creak of machinery, the buzz of chainsaws, the screaming of trees and shouting of work crews, I glimpsed some distant hope. The area of the forest eradicated last year for habitat restoration is now showing signs of renewal. The same must be true for us.

Kerri gasped. A juvenile eagle perched high in the branches of a native white oak. A stalwart and steady witness to the sudden ravages. “Beautiful,” we whispered simultaneously.

read Kerri’s blogpost about TREADS