Meet The Expectation [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

In our house they are called “happy lights” because they make us happy. And, because they make us happy, happy lights can be found in almost every room of our house. They wind around the headboard of our bed, they outline the window in the sitting room, they wind around the aspen log in our dining room. They wind around the big branches in our living room.

On particularly dark days, after opening the shades, the first action of the day is to plug in the happy lights. All of them. It’s a task that requires moving room-to-room, intentionally inviting happiness into the space. It’s not a bad way to start the day. It’s not a bad practice to stumble around the house, half awake, and expect happiness to turn on with the lighting of the happy lights. And, not surprisingly, happiness meets the expectation.

At the end of the day the last act of closing-up and tucking-in the house is to unplug the happy lights. It’s become a ritual of gratitude, a thankfulness for the happiness brought by the lights. Our headboard happy light, always the first light of the day, is the last light we turn off before sleeping, the last whisper of appreciation for the day.

In these past few months I have grown more conscious and grateful of our happy light ritual. The intentional invitation and invocation of happiness, the deliberate practice of gratitude, seems more and more necessary amidst the national dedication to maga-animus. If there is nothing to be done about the indecent darkness descending on the country, we can, at the very least, invite light into our home, and perhaps share some small measure of the happiness and kindness that our happy lights inspire.

read Kerri’s blogpost about HAPPY LIGHTS

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Still Standing [David’s blog on KS Friday]

Yesterday our walk in the fog and wet took us by the x-mas tree recycle drop-off. The morning after Christmas and a tree was already stripped of lights and baubles and dumped in the lot. On to the next, I suppose.

No matter how I spin it, the story of the tree-in-the-lot is not happy. Used and discarded. Maybe there was an argument. Maybe this lonely tree was in the home of a lonely person and it was just too hard…

There is a post-holiday return-to-reality akin to returning home after a vacation get-away but it seems a bit too soon for that. We have yet to ring in the new year and I want to stay in the escape-from-reality-zone as long as possible. I want to store-up some positive vibes for the certain chaos and sanity-drought that lies dead ahead.

This morning I woke up exhausted. The fog is still with us so I’m not harboring any hope of a spirit-lift from the sun. I found it impossible to focus so while Kerri was on a call I crawled under a blanket on the couch and appreciated all the beauty we created in our home these past few weeks. A visitor on the Eve said our house was warm. It is. It warms. I’m not sure my appreciation tour gave me a lift – I’m still exhausted – but it definitely pointed me in the right direction.

While enjoying our decorations and lights I thought of that lonely tree dumped in the lot. I wondered if the person or the family that so quickly discarded their celebration also consciously – or unconsciously – discarded the very thing that might boost their spirit. I suspect we are all at one time or another guilty of sabotaging our peace, undermining our joy. As a nation we just successfully chucked out the baby with the bathwater, proof-positive that anything is possible – individually and en masse.

A rush of idioms just poured into my brain-pan but I will spare you – and me – the disruption. In the meantime, like us, I hope your tree is still standing and you are still standing in your house that warms spirits.

Each New Day on the album Right Now © 2010 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about a HOLIDAY LIFT

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Feel The Feeling [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

“Whenever you think or you believe or you know, you’re a lot of other people: but the moment you feel, you’re nobody-but-yourself.” ~ e.e. cummings

Last night, after the boys went to bed, we turned off all house lights, the only illumination was the tree. It is our Eve tradition. Take a breath after the hustle and bustle. Take a breath after all the meal prep and happy arrivals. Take a breath after the too-much-food, the lively conversation and laughter. Take a breath. Sit in quiet appreciation and feel-the-feeling.

We named our tree e.e. It is artificial and came to us from 20’s mother, E.E. This is e.e.’s third holiday with us. We delighted in the serendipity of the name. A poem by e.e. cummings made an appearance at our wedding. He is one of our favorites.

And, so, on this day of renewal, after a sweet night of quiet, the dawn brings with it a wish for all of us in the coming year; a bit of poem by e.e.:

“I will take the sun in my mouth
and leap into the ripe air
Alive
with closed eyes
to dash against darkness”

read Kerri’s blogpost about A WISH

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Our Real Riches [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

Since rarely in life have we had excess, we’ve become experts of austerity and yet we seldom feel wanton or that we are lacking in any way. Quite the opposite! We usually walk in rich abundance – the kind that is not connected to possession or attainment or access. We appreciate to our core the gift of being alive, our time together, the plenty that comes from our friendships, the affluence of our artistry. There is no end to the ideas we chase or the moments we cherish. For us, each walk on the trail is extraordinary. We never take it for granted.

The gift of our strict no-spending orientation is that, when we do afford ourselves a treat, the pleasure is amplified; a tiny moment elevated to the exceptional. For instance, yesterday while shopping for gifts we did something that we rarely allow ourselves to do: we stopped at a bakery, bought a pastry and a cup of coffee. We were giddy with excitement. We savored every bite. We cherished sitting in the warm cafe on a cold wet day and sipping a hot, bold cup of coffee. A seasonal sensual pleasure. We promised each other that someday we would do it again.

Our real riches are in our eyes, our seeing. Kerri’s eyes see beauty in everything. At the first dusting of snow she dashed outside to capture the textures and color on the deck. “Lookit!” she said, showing me her discovery, nose red from the cold.

My eyes see movement and connectivity. Busy streets often appear to me as a dance. In a past life I adored teaching because I could see ideas ripple and discoveries flow through the class. I adored watching audiences join in what I came to understand as a single heart beat. Perhaps that was what called me to the theatre. I am only now beginning to understand what calls me to paint.

We moved our old wooden glider, deck furniture, into our living room. A well-used, very old studio lamp, a treasure found at an antique sale for five dollars, serves as a reading lamp. Next to the glider is a tall branch, painted white, wrapped in happy lights and adorned with holiday crystals. It’s become a favorite place to sit. Our happy hour has migrated from the kitchen table to the living room glider where we can appreciate our holiday decorations and watch the world pass by outside the front window.

‘I love it here,” she says, giving Dogga a nibble of cracker. Me, too. I love it here.

***

After writing my post, while waiting for Kerri to finish hers, I opened my email and read the latest of Maria Popova’s The Marginalian:

“The destination, rather than a place, is a state of being — the recompense of paying everything in our path the gratitude and reverence it is due for merely existing. For we forget, too, that dignity — this deepest reverence for being — is not something we can ever have for ourselves unless we accord it to everything and everyone else.”

read Kerri’s blogpost about APPRECIATION

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Our Moment [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

At the top of the stairs on the second floor of our house is a bulletin board of photographs. We assembled it in 2019 when we took a job on Washington Island. We would be far away from family and friends and hoped the photo-board would help us stay connected to home. It’s funny to me now, I rarely looked at the bulletin board when we were on the island but five years later, firmly ensconced back at home, I pause on the stairs every single day and study it.

It’s the photos of my dad that stop me. In order to function on island we needed a second vehicle. My dad was no longer able to drive so he gave us his truck. The photos were taken when we flew to Colorado to get the truck. We call it Big Red. It was a blue-blue-sky day. Kerri and I were just about to begin the long drive back to Wisconsin. Kerri took some pictures of my dad and me standing next to Big Red.

He died in 2021. Those few photos are among the last I have of him. They are certainly among the last taken when he knew who I was; he was far down the road of dementia on that blue-sky Colorado day.

I stop on the stairs and study the photographs because I knew on that day that I might never see him again. I knew that his time on earth was short. I was fully and completely present with him when Kerri took the photographs. It was sublime and painful. And, I can access the fullness of his presence the moment I look at the photograph. It never fades.

I stop at the top of the stairs to hang out a few minutes with my dad but there is a greater gift in that blue-blue-sky photograph: it is a reminder that those moments happen every day. It is a reminder not to miss it, that these moments are also fleeting. Cooking meals together. The way the Dogga parading with his candy-cane-toy every time we dial the phone. Our slow cleaning out of the basement, playing Rummikube with 20, sitting under the quilt writing blog posts on a cold Wisconsin day, the chimes calling us back to this, our moment. It’s what we have. It’s precious. It’s all we have.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE NOW

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The Great Gift Of Purpose [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

“In oneself lies the whole world and if you know how to look and learn, the door is there and the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open, except yourself.” ~ Krishnamurti

In the United States of America, today is the day we give thanks. Imagine it! 364 days dedicated to dog-eat-dog grousing with one day set aside for thanks-giving. Envision for a moment a flip of our dedication: a single day devoted to complaining-and-selfish-taking with the entire rest of the year committed to gratefulness and appreciation.

Is it possible for gratitude and cherishing-others to be the norm?

Tom Mck’s grandfather told the story of two Civil War veterans who owned adjacent ranches. One vet fought for the north and the other fought for the south. They shot at each other every day creating a dangerous situation for the whole community since their ranches were on the road to town. Finally, no longer willing to dodge bullets just to go to the market, the community brought the two men together and negotiated an accord with them: the vets agreed to shoot at each other only one day a year, the same day each year. Their fellow citizens knew not to go to market on the auspicious day.

I thought about those two men this morning. Their entire reason-for-being was to hate each other. They gave to each other the great gift of purpose. An unspoken detail of the story, perhaps the most important aspect of the whole story, is this: none of the bullets they fired over many years ever hit the mark; they were either terrible shots or they didn’t really want to eliminate their reason-for-being. They intentionally missed. They loved to hate their neighbor.

It’s a complex game we play, is it not? The tale of the two Civil War vets is a story for our times.

Is the great-gift-of-purpose as easily given to loving, uplifting and supporting our neighbors? Is our capacity for generosity and consideration really so limited? Is there only enough for a single 24 hour period?

Is aggression and hate really more magnetic and satisfying than kindness and love?

Our nation chooses this day as Thanksgiving. Kerri’s and my wish for this troubled land on this day of laying down our weapons: a genuine flip of our dedication.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THANKSGIVING

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Not Bad [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

In a fit of understatement, someone placed a yellow sticker on the railing overlooking the sweeping view of Bryce Canyon. It read, “Not bad”. The awe is visceral, “I feel it in the pit of my stomach,” Kerri said. Standing at the edge, as is often the case, words fall short. “Not bad” is as good a phrase of wonderment as any other.

For a moment Gay was overwhelmed. With tears in her eyes she said, “And I get to be here to see it.” There were moments in the past few years that she had every reason to believe that she would not be here.

I was struck by her acknowledgement. It is something that I hope to express every day for the rest of my life. Deep appreciation. “And I get to be here to see it.” Like most people, I let far too many days of this life slip by without realizing or recognizing the astonishing gift of being here to see it.

Every day is as awesome as a peek into Bryce Canyon. Not Bad.

read Kerri’s blogpost about NOT BAD

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Empty To Refill [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

Last week I wrote about a realization I had while cleaning my studio: I was cleaning it to close it for a while. As Karola used to say, “Let the glass go empty.”

The day my studio-cleaning-post published, we discovered a waterfall in the basement. Yet another waterfall. The waterline failed in the ceiling above my studio. More than a cleaning, the burst pipe facilitated a complete studio dismantling. My decision to let the glass-go-empty has some serious water-feature assistance.

My current hardcover sketchbook was directly beneath the break and was mush by the time we discovered the waterfall. My ancient beloved studio rocking chair was damaged to the point of needing a complete overhaul. Sometimes I am in awe of the sense of humor of the universe. The quirk of serendipity. There is no going back. There are metaphors a-go-go.

It will take awhile to sort out the wreckage just as it will take some time to completely empty-the-glass. Perfect timing.

In the meantime, fall is in the air. The leaves are changing. There is a call to the canyon lands that we will answer. There are walks to take. Space to create. Life to appreciate.

There is a glass to empty and to refill.

read Kerri’s blogpost about AUTUMN

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The Reward Of Slow Walking [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

Living so close to the lake our soil is sandy so ornamental grasses thrive in our yard. Each year, rounding the corner into fall, the grasses produce gorgeous plumes. The plumes catch the light. Amber and gold, purple and crimson. The plumes catch the wind, waving and dancing. The plumes capture my attention. I am each day mesmerized by the color and sway of the grasses.

Beyond their enthrall, I have another, perhaps more important appreciation for the ornamental grasses. They have become teachers of patience. They are reminders of right process.

Several years ago we transplanted grasses from our front yard to the back. The sandy soil and constant sun made it difficult for flowers and other plants to grow along our eastern fence line so we decided to give the grasses a try. We didn’t have the resources to buy new varieties so we split the grasses in our front yard.

The result was not good. I thought I’d stunted the grasses in the front. The first year after splitting, their usual exuberance was gone. To personify them, they seemed disheartened. The newly planted grasses in the backyard were gasping. The second year was not much better. I thought, rather than watch their slow demise, it would be better to pull them and start anew. I was mortified. I didn’t know what I was doing and it seemed I’d made everything worse.

Kerri told me to wait, to give them one more season.

In the third year, both front and back, the grasses exploded into life. Ebullient. Buoyant. Each day I’d stand in the middle of the yard and mutter, “I can’t believe it.”

Kerri watched my daily mystification and asked, “Aren’t you glad that you didn’t pull them?

Now, many years later, they are huge, thriving. Little volunteers have sprouted and prosper around the pond. In fact, I now work to keep the ornamental-grass-colonies from taking over the yard.

The grasses have fostered an environment of abundance: they have become safe haven for rabbits, DeeNCee Lullabaloo (the frog-in-residence) spends more time in the grass kingdom than in the pond. The chippies have established a protected highway running through and behind the grass-cover.

And I sit and marvel at their luminance and wind-choreography. Each year I await the coming of the plumes. They fill me with life. They remind me to allow for natural growth rather than push for a result. I hope that I’ve learned their humble lesson. No matter; they fill me with awe, the reward of slow walking, the gift of patience.

read Kerri’s blogpost about GRASSES

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Witness The Impossible [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

We heard, in some locations this summer, people experienced a veritable plague of cicadas. They shoveled them off of their driveways like so much snow. Not here. We finally heard their song late in the season. We found a few empty shells floating in the pond or attached to fence, evidence that they’d emerged and transformed. They were present in vibrational rhythmic sound. They remained invisible to our eyes.

Sitting quietly on the deck one evening in August, enjoying the cicada symphony, Kerri said, “It’s not summer until I hear the cicadas.” Markers of our passage around the sun. Symbols of the cycle. The first color on the leaves. First snow. The first dandelion of spring. The first turtle emerging from the muddy river. Cicada song.

Last week we talked about stew and soups rather than watermelon and burgers on the grill. In this way, in old and new recipes, we chase the coming season. Anticipation and imagination.

We found the cicada on the driveway. It was in its last minutes of life. Crawling like a drunken sailor, it could no longer fly; one wing undamaged but seemingly useless. “It’s so sad,” she said as she knelt to take a photo.

Reverence overcame the sadness. “Look at the color! How beautiful!” she whispered, showing me the photo. We knelt again to witness the dying cicada.

Appreciation. Sometimes I think our only purpose on this earth is to cherish its treasures, to recognize something so small and impossibly grand as the movement of life.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE CICADA

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