Hear The Gentle Tapping [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

“May peace gently find you and fall upon your heart.” ~ Anonymous

It seems like a tall order, doesn’t it? Especially now in our era of conflict, chaos, division, turmoil…I suppose that is the point of a wish or blessing. There would be no need to pray for peace falling upon our hearts if our hearts were peaceful.

I imagine Peace looking for us. We can’t be that hard to find.

The children’s book version of Peace’s search for humankind would not be about a search for humankind but a vigil at the doorway of the heart of humankind. Peace has already found us. It knows where we are. Peace surrounds us and is quietly tapping on our heart’s door.

We must be afraid to let it in. What else?

Timothy Snyder wrote, “Freedom is not an absence but a presence, a life in which we choose multiple commitments and realize combinations of them in the world. Virtues are real, as real as the starry heavens…”

Peace is like Timothy Snyder’s freedom. It is a presence. It doesn’t go away in the face of war. It waits patiently for us to open our heart’s door. To choose it.

It is not made of ethereal stuff. It is real. It is tangible, as substantial as is conflict. Like virtues, Peace is real as the starry heavens. To borrow phrasing from Timothy Snyder, Peace “is a life in which we choose multiple commitments and realize combinations of it in the world.”

A wish for the new year: May we hear the gentle tapping at our heart’s door and open it to Peace. May we choose it. May we allow it to enter and gently fall upon and open our closed hearts.

read Kerri’s blogpost about PEACE

May peace fall softly upon your world and stay in your heart forever. ~~ Kahlil Gibran

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The Sadness Settles Back In [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

“I wish that we could transport all Americans to stand in one of those bedrooms for just a few minutes. We’d be an entirely different America.” Steve Hartman, All The Empty Rooms

Rob wrote after the recent mass shooting in Stockton, CA. “We raised the girls just a few blocks away…It’s weird but, I’m sure very human, to feel a sense of relief that for a few minutes that was stronger than the sadness: Nobody I knew – whew! Then the sadness settles back in…”

The sadness settles back in.

And now, Brown University. Tomorrow? Next week? As of December 14th there have been approximately 389 mass shootings in the United States in 2025. More than one per day.

If you accept the premise that society’s primary role is to protect the next generation then we are a titanic failure. “The number one cause of death for children and adolescents (ages 1-19) in America is firearm-related injuries. This has been the leading cause of death for this age group since 2020 surpassing motor vehicle crashes, which had previously been the top cause for decades.”

The second amendment guarantees “the right of the people to keep and bear Arms”. It says nothing of the type of arms we have the right to bear. “A consistent majority of Americans (typically 56% to 60%) favor stricter gun laws in general, according to various recent polls.” The second amendment begins with the words, “A well-regulated Militia…” In the 21st century we enjoy a standing army (so no militia required) and a Constitution that protects our freedoms from the rogue use of the army by the government on its citizens. Yet, we are absent any meaningful regulation on the arms we bear.

With each new day, with each new mass shooting, the sadness settles in. It only takes a moment to consult a crap detector to spot the reason we remain unable to protect the next generation of children: we choose profit over the safety of our children, over the safety of our society. If our representatives represented us, there would already be commonsense limitations placed on the types of guns we might own, on the licensing, availabilility and use of guns, laws meant to protect the citizens – especially the children – in these divided United States.

As Rob noted, we act when it becomes personal. What does it take for us, so numbed by the sheer numbers of mass shootings, to transcend the very human first response: “Nobody I knew – whew.

Tom Hartman’s documentary, All The Empty Rooms, memorializing the bedrooms left behind by children killed in school shootings, is an apt place to start. In these rooms there is no glossing over our ultimate failure as a society. These empty rooms are our rooms. These murdered children are our children.

Our representatives are meant to represent us and not the gun lobby. If they can’t or won’t provide the basic protections for us and the next generation, we should fire them all and vote in people who take personally the sacred duty to protect the lives of our children.

read Kerri’s blogpost about ALL THE EMPTY ROOMS

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Circulate The Good [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

The imaginary editorial board at Melange International is becoming impatient with me. They think that I have over-complicated the given assignment. What is so complex about focusing on the good?

To begin, I’d be a hypocrite to claim that I only focus on the good. I do not.

A quick read of my blog since inauguration day will provide ample evidence of my capacity to focus on the negative though I believe it is important, when the house is on fire, to alert others of the fire, to call out escape routes. It’s also helpful to try and put out the fire. Is that or is that not a focus on the good?

Isn’t it a relevant question – a good question – to ask, “Where can we focus our eyes and our energies to beat back and put out this fascist fire?” Sometimes a focus on the good seems dark.

Focus is a powerful thing. The power of focus is more than a cliché uttered by contemporary motivational speakers. It’s an age-old-concept. We will find what we seek. People who make gratitude a practice will end each day with a bucket of gratitude. People who make blaming a practice will end each day with a bucket of blame. People who make division their focus will live in – or more accurately – create divisive communities. People who make inclusion their focus will create inclusive supportive communities. People who focus on democracy will create (protect) democracy.

And then there’s the question, “To whom will we give our focus?” Our media makes it far easier to focus on The Arsonist. Ratings do not favor a focus on the Fire-fighters.

We are inundated with so many daily outrages that we are having a challenge sustaining a serious focus. Where do we focus with ICE kidnapping people off the streets, extrajudicial murders in the Caribbean, presidential grift, an inept and mostly absent congress, a Supreme Court that ignores the Constitution to expand presidential powers, the dismantling of education, collapse of healthcare, government protection of pedophiles…the dismantling of democracy. Sometimes it is hard to sustain a focus on the good through the forest of daily atrocity. It takes some effort, some dedication, to sustain a focus on the good.

Circulating the good is, of course, a team sport. It’s easier to sustain a focus on the good when surrounded by others who have the same dedication.

We check-in each night with Carl Blanchet. Last year he completed a hike of the Pacific Crest Trail (2650 miles) in less than 90 days. It was a personal challenge and a titanic effort. This year, he’s back again though this time he’s going slow. He’s enjoying the hike. We were drawn to follow him because of his positivity. Even in the worst circumstance, when confronted by an impossible obstacle, he finds the beauty in his day. He focuses on solutions or the kindness of trail angels, the generosity of other hikers, the awe of each sunset. And, although it might be possible to roll your eyes at such dedicated positivity, the truth is that he is a pragmatist. He is not denying the difficulties. He is dealing with them by focusing on the good. He’s done his research. He is prepared. He is not flying blind. He practices a focus on the opportunities, seeing the positive, choosing from the possibilities available in each moment.

He is a serious person and that is precisely why he doesn’t take any of it too seriously. He doesn’t get fixated on the problem or the pain. He intentionally circulates the good because he intentionally focuses on the good.

In these times, Carl serves as balm to clear our eyes from the smoke of rampant misinformation and preponderance of lies. He serves as a daily reminder that what we focus on is what we will, in fact, become. And what we become is what we will circulate.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE GOOD

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The Ace [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Twice in the past few months we’ve made a pilgrimage to the local Ace Hardware to seek the wise counsel of Kevin. He is not in a hurry. He listens. He commiserates with the odd issues that arise in a house built nearly 100 years ago. He invokes laughter and settles nerves. He doesn’t view his job as selling stuff. He views his job as helping people like us who come through the door with anxious faces betraying a single truth: we have a pressing problem and don’t know what to do or where to begin.

We returned from both pilgrimages with the magic solution: Backer Rod.

I did not know about Backer Rod prior to our sessions with Kevin. At first glance I doubted Kevin’s guidance, however, after following his instructions, our seeming impossible problem met a very worthy solution.

Our latest pressing problem was the new water feature in our sitting room. There’s a strange phenomenon in the midwest called “ice damming.” Ice overwhelms a gutter while the heat of the house simultaneously melts the underlayer, transforming the ice back into water that has nowhere to flow but inside the house. We first heard the drip, drip, drip at 11:39pm and worked through the night to melt the ice, clear the frozen gutters and popsicle downspout.

And still the water came.

Kerri and I are master improvisers, our solutions are often temporary, triage solutions, that work until the real fix-it-masters can come. In the case of our water feature, the fix-it-master, the gutter man and the electrician (a failed outlet is the real source of our pain, rendering the heating cable in the gutter useless), cannot come until the current ice age retreats and the ice encasing our house melts. Keep in mind that the ice melting is the source of our troubles since it has nowhere to go but into our sitting room.

So we ran to Kevin. He sent us home with Backer Rod, some words of wisdom, and some borrowed confidence that our band-aid solution would get us to the warmer weather while minimizing the river running into our home.

I’m heading out to follow his instructions. If this works, if Backer Rod stems the flow, then I fully intend to elevate Backer Rod to the high status of duct tape, baling wire and hot glue. I will elevate Kevin even higher.

We’ll keep you posted.

read Kerri’s blogpost about BACKER ROD

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After All [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

We spent some time hanging out with Frank over the holiday. He is 93 and doing a stint in rehab. Frank is filled to the brim with great stories told with the laughing good humor of a man who has made a friend of folly. On our way out the door he said, “After all, isn’t that what’s most important in life, what life is about? Good friends. The relationships we enjoy. The time we spend together” We nodded and he added, “It seems like we have nothing to complain about.”

Frank is among my role-models for how to age well. Stay wide-open to new experiences. Believe in the goodness of people. Dance the twist at every opportunity. Laugh at yourself. Cultivate your mischief. Stand firmly planted in gratitude.

A few years ago I read about a comic whose performances and life blossomed when he realized that his job was not to make people laugh, rather, it was to bring them to their laughter. It’s subtle but profound: focus on what you bring to others, not on what you get from them. Later, as we prepared our Guinness Irish stew and mashed potatoes, I realized this simple message was Frank’s superpower, the reason why I admire him: even at 93 years old in rehab, even while facing an impossible mountain to climb, his focus was on what he could bring to us. There was not a hint of self-pity. There was no mention of his aches, pains or growing list of obstacles. He told fishing stories and regaled us with adventures from his youth. We laughed and bantered and left feeling full to the brim with great stories and good humor.

“After all, isn’t that what’s most important in life, what life is about? Good friends. The relationships we enjoy. The time we spend together” We nodded and Frank added, “It seems like we have nothing to complain about.”

read Kerri’s blogpost about GATHERING

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Step Into The Light [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

The fear of speaking in public is consistently ranked number one above the fear of death. For the Epstein survivors, the two fears merge into one: for years they feared they would be harmed if they spoke out. Their fear is not unfounded. The most powerful men (people) in the world have conspired for decades to keep them silent. They still are. So, imagine the courage it has taken for them to stand in public and speak.

It is ironic that the entire Republican party, fearful of the light of truth, continue to believe that their silence-in-lock-step is strength. Although they feign support for the release of the Epstein files and pretend concern for the over-one-thousand victims, although they vomit words and words and more words… the noise they make is nothing more than cover for their complicity. It is loud silence. To misquote Shakespeare, Methinks thou doth protest too much.

Audre Lorde wrote, “Your silence will not protect you.” It is a truth that the Epstein survivors came to understand, a driving force behind their courage to step together into the public light and say, “This happened. It was wrong. It matters.” (Tarana Burke, Unbound)

Just as the survivors came to recognize that silence is not strength, we can only hope that the Republican party, the DOJ and the FBI soon arrive at the same conclusion: silence will not protect you. Obfuscating will not spare you. Silence, in this case, is nothing more or less than collusion with the perpetrators. Conspiracy inevitably arrives at a reckoning.

So, to the increasingly spine-free members, the sad remnants of the once Grand Old Party, we hope some among you address the elephant in the room, break the silence and find the courage to demand full disclosure of the files. Step into the light with the survivors. No matter how emphatic the noise you make, no matter how excessive the denial or empty declarations of concern you bellow, it might be prudent to arrive at the same conclusion as did the Epstein survivors: silence will no longer protect you.

read Kerri’s blogpost about SILENCE AND VOICE

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A Simple Thing [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

In our defense, we didn’t buy the cupcake. Our dear Jen heaped a dizzying array of treats upon us before we hit the road. Also, she knows us. I imagine she predicted that, at the end of ten hours of driving, a bit of snack-decadence with wine would warm our hearts and make us feel at home.

Everyone on earth should have a Jen: a friend who is dedicated to making your life better and easier.

Everyone on earth should be a Jen: a person who is dedicated to making the lives of the people in their circle better and easier. And, since the circles we populate are not fixed or exclusive, the intentional kindness would overlap, ripple, and literally connect us – each to one another in a dedication of support – making the world a better place.

The first time I met Kerri, climbing into the car at the airport, I found a sandwich and a hot cup of coffee waiting for me. She thought I might be hungry after traveling so far. It was such a simple thing, a generosity. It reinforced what I already knew about her, what I already loved about her.

Making the world a better place. It doesn’t seem that difficult but it does require asking a question that seems radical in a dog-eat-dog culture: what can I do to make your life better and easier? It’s really a question of responsibility, isn’t it? The Butterfly Effect.

Yes, I am fully aware of the impossibility of my idealism. Yet, how fortunate am I to have a friend like Jen? How utterly impossible is it that I met and married a woman like Kerri?

read Kerri’s blogpost about CUPCAKES AND WINE

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It Speaks Volumes [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

We’re hearing a lot about SNAP during these days of government shutdown. SNAP is the acronym for the Supplemental Nutritional Assistance Program. As the current administration attempts to eliminate this critical life support for 42 million citizens, I am plagued with a question. How is it possible in the richest country on earth that 12% of our citizens are living on the thinnest of margins? But that’s not my question. This is: How is it possible that the government of the richest country in the history of the world, a government of the people, would refuse to throw a life ring to its people who will starve without it?

Asked another way: Who would stand on the dock, holding a life ring, and not throw it to a drowning person?

It’s worse: Who would stand on the dock and actively prevent others – rescuers – from throwing a life ring to a drowning person? To a community of drowning people?

It speaks volumes.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE LIFE RING

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What Goes Around [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

“May you dwell in your heart. May you be free from suffering. May you be healed. May you be at peace.” ~ Buddhist Prayer

I’ve always appreciated this Buddhist prayer because it is inclusive and expansive. The prayer is repeated several times, each time with a change of the pronoun. For instance, it begins with “I”; “May I dwell in my heart…” From the center of “I”, the prayer moves outward as a prayer for the closest “other”; “May Kerri dwell in her heart…” And, then, again, moving outward, “May Dwight dwell in his heart…” and on and on, expanding and including until the outermost ring of the circle is reached, “May all people dwell in their heart…”

And then, the prayer continues, only now it pulls the heart of humanity back toward – and finally arriving at, “May I dwell in my heart. May I be free from suffering. May I be healed. May I be at peace.”

The message of the prayer cycle is explicit: outward peace on earth is the expression of inner peace within each individual.

Horatio echoed Kerri’s belief when he said that all religions can be boiled down to this phrase: be kind. Outward kindness to others is the expression of inner kindness to the self.

I’ve been pondering the root of deep division ripping apart our nation. It seems so simple. As Horatio reminded me, there are two philosophies at loggerheads. “Every man for himself” versus “I am my brother’s/sister’s keeper.” If you live in an “every man for himself” mindset then there is no need for inclusion or expansion. Exploitation is the goal and hoarding is the and the best you can do. We are witness to this philosophy: gold leaf and ballrooms while many in the nation starve. There is no need for heart or peace.

We are also witness to the other philosophy, those who care for the well-being of their neighbors: people marching in protest of the daily abuse power, people racing into the streets to protect their neighbors from ICE, people giving to food banks…

Which world would we rather live in? Democracy is fundamentally the Buddhist prayer. Of The People. Fascism is the opposite: a dictatorial leader using the military, suppressing opposition. No peace. No prayer.

Absolute power or governance by the people? Heart prayer or no heart? Personal gain through the intentional infliction of suffering or striving for peace and prosperity for all? Which will we choose?

In either case, as the old saying goes, “As within, so without.” Or, said another way, “What goes around, comes around.”

read Kerri’s blogpost about PEACE

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Moving Mountains [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

There are few artists that she admires more than Phil Vassar. He is one of the great singer-songwriters of his genre. Last week he played at the Genesse just down the road so we moved a few mountains to be there. He’s recovering from a heart attack and a stroke so he also moved a few mountains to be there. I’ve never witnessed more simple gratitude pour from a performer – for being alive, for being able to sing and play, for sharing his gifts.

The lyric went straight to her heart and she cried: dreams can grow wild born inside an American child. She cried for her own wild dreams.

She cried for the crumbling dream called The United States of America. This song, American Child, in a moment became the anthem for all that we are losing, all that her father, a WWII vet, a prisoner of war, who fought against fascists, who carried the deep psychological scars from his service through the rest of his life…all so that his children and grandchildren might live in a country where dreams can grow wild.

She cried.

Democracy is, itself, a wild dream careening toward a cliff. The White House is literally being torn apart by a man-who-would-be-king. The congress has all but abdicated its responsibility; it’s literally left-the-building. The Supreme Court regularly rules against the Constitution, literally elevating one man above the law.

Those who believe in the dream of democracy hit the streets on the day we saw Phil Vassar. It was the biggest protest in the history of our young nation. Thom Hartmann wrote: “The No Kings Day protests last weekend were breathtakingBut here’s the hard truth: that energy, that passion, that righteousness means very little if it doesn’t translate into structure and leadership. Movements that fail to coalesce around leaders and build institutions typically die in the glare of their own moral light or fail to produce results.

Wild dreams are the north star of action. The dreams of an artist become reality after hours and hours and years and years of practice and rehearsal. Specific action aimed at the manifestation of the dream; moving mountains.

Democracy is not defended by hashtags. It’s defended by hands, millions of them, building, voting, organizing, and refusing to quit when the cameras are gone.” ~ Thom Hartmann

Phil Vassar suffered a heart attack. And then a stroke. He is moving mountains because he nearly lost his dream. He’s not sitting at home fretting. He’s playing concerts. He’s writing new songs. He’s breathing new air into his almost-lost-dream.

Perhaps we will do the same.

read Kerri’s blogpost about WILD DREAMS

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