On This Day, Ask [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Conscience (noun): an inner feeling or voice viewed as acting as a guide to the rightness or wrongness of one’s behavior.

This day that we call Memorial Day began as a way to honor and remember the Union soldiers that died in the Civil War. Theirs was a just cause: the end of slavery. The preservation of a nation. Originally, this day was known as Decoration Day. Now it is an observance of all military personnel who died serving – and preserving – the conscience of the nation.

It is important to remember on this day – especially on this day – that the men and women we commemorate, each and every one – swore an oath to “support and defend the Constitution of The United States” against all enemies foreign and domestic. They gave their lives honoring their oath and defending the Constitution.

Today, current members of the military face an untenable conflict. In their oath they have also sworn to obey the orders of the President of the United States. Currently, their oath is to a man who has no interest in supporting or defending the Constitution. He is actively destroying it.

Today, we face an untenable situation. We cannot in good faith both decorate service member’s graves and subscribe to the actions of the current administration. We cannot in good faith whisper words of hallowed remembrance and keep silent while these fallen men and women are being betrayed by a Republican Congress that actively dismantles the Constitution – at the behest of a Republican President that is, himself, a draft dodger, a man who regularly debases service members and ridicules their sacrifice. We make hypocrites of ourselves if we do not defend the sacrifice made by these men and women interred in our cemeteries.

When will our consciences grow?

Our Civil War was fought ostensibly to put an end to horrific human suffering. It was a war fought for the conscience of our nation. That is why we began the tradition of decorating the graves of Civil War veterans – so that we wouldn’t forget them or the cause that they gave their lives to defend.

They knew what was right. We know what is right. We also know what is wrong. So does the Republican Congress, even as they betray their oath.

Standing graveside we must ask why so many who have sworn a similar oath to The Constitution follow the lead of a man who has no conscience, a man who lacks the still small voice. A child-man who cannot see beyond an-eye-for-an-eye. A man who threatens to turn the rifles of the servicemen and servicewomen that he commands upon the citizens of the nation in order to achieve his objective of demolishing democracy as outlined in The Constitution.

What will our service members do in that moment? Will they serve or betray their oath to the Constitution? Will they serve a President who asks them to betray all they stand for, who commands them to ignore their still small voice while he moves to silence the voice of the people and the conscience of the nation?

What will it take for our consciences to grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it?” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s important for us to ask on this day – especially this day – what will it take for us to act, to defend our Constitution, to honor in more than whispered words the sacrifice of those who died defending the conscience of our nation?

read Kerri’s blogpost on this MEMORIAL DAY

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My Fleeting Moment [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Alone on the trail we heard a loud pop and then a crack – and then the tree fell. We felt the thud through the soles of our feet.

There was no wind. There was no apparent cause for it to fall. We were, somehow, witness to its final moment as “tree”.

If a tree falls in the woods and someone is around to hear it, it definitely makes a sound. If not? For some reason, in that majestic moment, the quotidian philosophical question popped into my mind and it bothered me. Is human observation really the only validation for existence? Philosopher George Berkeley wrote, “To be is to be perceived.” George didn’t mean perceived by squirrels or hawks or any other critter in the woods at that moment who also heard the sound and felt the fall of the old tree. For humans, philosophers, preachers and politicians alike, human perception is the requirement granting something so grand, something so profound, as existence. How many birds nested in this grand old tree during the course of its life span? How many plants will feed on its fibers now that it has joined the earth?

Hubris is our Achilles Heel.

On our drive to the trail we were rerouted. The road was shutdown in both directions. There was a terrible crash. A car was cleaved, barely recognizable. Certainly there were witnesses to this loud final moment of a human-being pass into non-being. I’m grateful I was not one of them. I do not need to have seen or heard the crash to know that it happened.

Perhaps that is why the question bothered me: “If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” In a single day, in the space of an hour, I was witness to a tree falling in the woods and aware of a human life ending. I heard the tree so I have no need to imagine what happened. I saw the car, the evidence of the end of human life. I can only imagine.

Horatio wrote a beautiful poem about the death of a salmon after its struggle to return to its place of origin. It’s a poem about the impossibility of life and the cycle of constant renewal. The poem offers we-the-perceivers some rare perspective on the end of life.

I wondered how I could read the days news about starvation in Gaza, brutal raids and deportations without due process…and simply turn the page. That, too, must be uniquely human. To perceive and then tune out. To look the other way, to pretend not to perceive when human beings enact horror upon other human beings. It requires a dedicated lack of imagination.

We are not above it all.

“To be is to be perceived.” Perhaps. It begs an all important follow-up question: In my fleeting moment of human perception, who – or how – do I choose to be?

read Kerri’s blogpost about TINY NAILS

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For As Long As It Takes [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Dogga lays in the doorway and snoozes. When he hears me coming his little Aussie-dog tail wags. It is a siren call, impossible to pass without kneeling and giving him a pet. And, in those few moments my world becomes a better place.

During the time that my life was coming apart, suddenly without a place to live or the resources to rent another apartment, Carol showed up. I hadn’t seen her in a few years. She found me. She tossed a set of keys to me. “You’re staying with me,” she said. “As long as it takes.” In that moment, my world became a better place.

I have hundreds of those stories. They are ubiquitous and happen every day. I see them all around me when I pay attention.

“I love the sunshine on the quilt,” she said a moment ago. A tiny thing. The warmth of the spring sun a welcome visitor after the cold days of winter. In the sensual beauty of sun on the quilt and her deep appreciation of the moment, my world was made a better place.

Yesterday I read Marion Milner’s words in The Marginalian about the narrow focus of reason and the wide focus of sensation. The narrow focus, purpose-driven, is always seeking happiness in some other place. The wide focus, sensory, is always present in the moment – where happiness is found. She wrote, “I did not know that I could only get the most out of life by giving myself up to it.” Her words made my world a better place. An affirmation.

Touch is a word of the senses. Touch a life and, in return, life with touch you. Touch with simple appreciation and the world becomes a better place.

In the wide focus of the sensation there is no end, no goal, no achievement, no measurement. It is end-less.

In the narrow focus of mind our clocks would have us believe that we are in a race to a deadline. It is a dedication to ends.

In the vast field beyond purpose and gain there is wonder. It is time-less. Touch life with appreciation, with eyes or ears or fingers or taste – and life will fill you with appreciation.

Someone once told me that the world does not need healing. We do. And the healing we need is right at our fingertips. It is the sun on our faces, it is to feel the pull of the wagging tale, to kneel down and fall into a rich loving pet of appreciation. It is to open our very narrow focus, feel deeply, and toss keys to someone in need, saying, “For as long as it takes.”

read Kerri’s blogpost about HEALING THE WORLD

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For All Humans [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

I read that Cinco de Mayo, in addition to being a celebration of Mexican heritage and culture, serves as a reminder of Mexican resistance and resilience in the face of adversity. That makes this Cinco de Mayo a uniquely potent and particularly relevant celebration. With Mexico demonized and under assault from this current administration, it is more important than ever to uplift and honor Mexican heritage. Honoring Mexico on this day serves as an act of resistance to the bully xenophobic Republican agenda.

It also serves as a reminder that this nation – in reality – is a celebration of many ethnicities. We are a cultural crossroads. That is precisely what makes America great. We need not go back to some imagined fantasy-past. Our strength in this democratic experiment is our capacity to reinvent ourselves, over and over again.

The bumper sticker reads, “Equality hurts no one.” Too true. Equality is the ideal, the guide star at the very center of the Declaration of Independence, the driving force behind our capacity to re-imagine ourselves. It is the promise that allows us to intend a nation comprised of many races and ethnicities, a people capable overcoming their small tribal imperatives to create a more perfect union. In the ideal, our differences are what unite us. Our differences are our strength. In our nation, as in nature, our diversity is – and always has been – our secret sauce. Our superpower. It is the unique source of our innovation and our capacity to adapt, change, and grow.

More importantly, equality-in-diversity is the magnetic north of our moral compass. It informs our national conscience. Human beings, regardless of race, gender, ethnicity or sexual orientation are afforded equal protection under the law. Equal rights. Human rights. An intention to foster equal opportunity for all. A celebration of humanity in all its rich multiplicity.

We can only hope that this current Republican attempt to scrub the nation of color, to force lock-step uniformity, is the last gasp of a dying white supremacy, the final whimper of Manifest Destiny. Change – real change – is always preceded by a frightened step backwards.

Today, more than ever, it is important to celebrate the resilience and resistance of Mexico, a day of triumph over a brutal suppressor. A day of recognition of the great spirit of Mexico, one of the many deep flowing currents of courage that forms the powerful river known as the United States of America, a nation of diversity that intends equity and inclusion – for all humans.

read Kerri’s blogpost about EQUALITY

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The Constant [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Pi (Greek letter “π”) is the symbol used in mathematics to represent a constant—the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter

One of Kerri’s nicknames is math-girl. She has a freakish capacity to do math in her head. No mad pencil scribbling on paper is necessary. No calculator required. She pretends to dislike adding the grocery bill faster than the store scanner or scrutinizing the taxes for minute errors but I know, deep inside, she gets a charge out of it. 20 and I regularly raise our eyebrows and ask, “How does she do that?” I’ve learned to never disagree with her when numbers are involved. I am wrong 100% of the time.

When she saw the Pi cloud in the sky she was ecstatic. It was like a visit from an old friend. An affirmation from this grand old universe.

She told me that she likes Pi because it represents a constant. A constant is something that stays the same, something that you can count on. It also refers to a quality of movement: ceaseless repetition, something that happens without pause. Or, my favorite definition of a constant: loyal or steadfast, as in a good friend.

Her comment about constants brought to my mind Yeats’ poem, The Second Coming:

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world..
.

It is a poem for our times. The cycles of history, the widening gyre, and the chaos that ensues when one epoch is ending and another is about to begin. Aren’t we now witness to a center that cannot hold? Things fall apart. Anarchy is loosed upon the world.

Here we are. Chaos is the constant. The world is flipped upside-down. A birthing pang? The caterpillar goes to mush before it reconstitutes into a new form; a butterfly.

Of course, this is me, searching for some sense to be made in the march of the oligarchs, the rape of the nation. The worship of the cruel, the elevation of the vapid. We can only hope that this is the natural progression to mush and that someday, somewhere out there, a butterfly will break from its cocoon, dry its wings, and step off the branch to restore decency, sense, and beauty to the world.

Pie-in-the-sky? Or the constant?

read Kerri’s blogpost about Pi

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It Is Something [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Dogga yawned, stretched and rolled accidentally off the bed. He landed on his back and we knew he was hurt. All the news of the day, the stresses of our life, our list of to-do’s…flew out the window. Nothing else mattered but to care for our aging, crazy Aussie pup.

20 needs to have a surgery that requires a lengthy recovery. We are his support team. When we found out, everything on the calendar was instantly less important and was easily erased. Nothing else mattered.

This summer Craig will headline both Milwaukee and Chicago Pride. Nothing on earth will stop us from being in the audience. Kerri and I have both performed – we are artists, performers – we know to our bones the power of family support. We also know the hole created by the absence of family support.

Priority. It is instantly recognizable when necessity pierces foggy self-importance. Love is the light that instantly dissipates the fog. A truly undefinable word. Love. But isn’t it immediately recognizable? Beyond debate?

I marvel at how much of my time on this earth has been consumed by the pursuit of what I might achieve. Somewhere out there. While, all along, the only thing I’ve ever actually needed was – and is – immediately recognizable, always here, when circumstance shakes me from my hazy focus, when necessity peels back the superficial and exposes the essential.

I can bring nothing more potent than my presence. My love. My attention. And, presence, love – I am learning – is not something I attain or get. It is not a pursuit. It is something I offer. A helping hand. A hug when there is hurt. A cheering witness to courage (as all true artistry is frighteningly vulnerable).

It is something that has always been there, something that will just be there. Always.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE SKY

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The Line [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

I’ve decided that garden messages like “Be Kind” are actually sign posts marking the dividing line in these un-United States. There is – and always has been – a faction of the population that sincerely believes in equality. Kindness extends to everyone. Justice for all. There is – and always has been – a faction of the population that believes in racial superiority. Kindness is extended only to a select few. Justice for some.

The visibility of the dividing line has varied over our history depending on the faction in the power seat. When team equality-for-all is driving, the line fades. When team power-for-the-select-few is driving, the line blazes into visibility. Our short history is a tug-of-war with both sides trying to pull the other team over the line.

We are currently living in a time when the line is readily apparent, team white-male-superiority has the reins. Any mention of diversity is grounds for firing. DEI initiatives are being scrubbed from view. Segregation has been given a green light. Women’s rights are under attack. Tariffs are, of course, market manipulation to enrich the few while shifting of the tax burden onto the poorest citizens. Kindness is exclusively reserved for members of the country club.

It is, I suppose, one of the legacies of colonialism. Manifest Destiny. We are not alone in our tug-of-war but we are unique in wrapping it in ideals like “…with liberty and justice for all.” or “government of the people, by the people, for the people.” We are not alone in editing our full history but we are unique in our capacity to white-wash it as is currently the case. The Lost Cause narrative is alive and well.

This tug-of-war is the question at the heart of the experiment that is The United States of America. Can people of many races, ethnicities and religions, come together and form a society that protects the rights of all, equally, under the law? Can such a society be honest in telling of – and learning from – its full history? Can such a society extend kindness across difference to support a more perfect union? Can we actually strive for and achieve e plurbus unum?

Right now, the prevailing answer as articulated from the seat of power is “no”.

There is a different answer available on the streets.

In any case, it leaves me wondering what must happen for us as a nation to consider fully our history, to admit the truth of our tug-of-war in order to transcend it – so that we might fulfill the promise of our democracy that has the potential to enrich the lives of all the citizens, including citizens of the world.

Perhaps our current ugliness will crack open our denial and reveal the true nature of the discriminatory disease that continually ails us. Perhaps this is a step on the road to all-inclusive-kindness, power attained from giving rather than taking, serving rather than suppressing. In my idealism – and in my garden art – I can only hope so.

read Kerri’s blogpost about BE KIND

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Hit The Button [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

For an unrelated project research, I was reading an article about the tactics used by psychological abusers in a relationship; I found myself reading about the tactics employed by the current resident of the White House. Gaslighting, negging, emotional manipulation. Isolationism. And DARVO, a new acronym to me: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender…a very common tactic, in which the aggressor uses different elements of reality to cast the victim in the role of abuser and position themselves as the victim. Of course, this is not a new revelation. Plenty of people are writing about it. Plenty of people have been writing about it since 2016.

I suppose the penny just dropped for me.

“The penny dropped”. It’s an adage that comes from a coin getting stuck in a slot machine and the user having to wait for – or jiggle the machine – to get the penny to drop.

The most chilling thing about the article – the jiggle that made my penny drop – was not something in the article. It was the two choices at the very bottom of the site: “Emergency Exit” and “Clear Browser History”. A quick escape just in case the reader is afraid to get caught by the abuser. They are on the site because they are scared and trying to find help. They are looking for a way out of the abuse.

I wondered what happened – what had to happen – for them to finally admit to themselves that the violence is not normal. Were they abused one too many times and the penny dropped? What made them finally admit that their abuser is not the victim? They are. What finally popped the illusion that their relationship is not normal? It is dangerous. The buttons at the bottom of the site served as a testament to the truth of the relationship.

We generally write a few days ahead and lately it’s been almost impossible to stay in front of the abuse of our system. Each day there is another act of aggression. Violence enacted on the democratic system and the citizenry. By the time we publish, our thoughts are old news. Yet another blow has already been delivered and left a deep bruise on the face of the nation.

And, now, the abuser is spilling his aggression onto the world.

The Republican party is married to the abuser. Their silence during this daily beating is deafening. The Congress’ participation in the abuser’s aggression is disheartening since they were the original target of his violence. They are classic: filled with fear and whipped into compliance, they defend and enable their abuser. For them, the penny has dropped. Instead of seeking an exit to the abusive relationship they wear the smarmy sad mask of see-no-evil.

I wonder when they will acknowledge the choice at the bottom of the page: Emergency exit. They alone have the power to end the abuse. The Constitution is hanging on by its fingernails but it grants them the power to stop the bludgeoning of democracy. There’s still time.

There is a third button at the bottom of the site page: Contact Us. It takes courage to ask for help. It is possibly dangerous but certainly self-loving to exit an abusive relationship. It requires support. It necessitates protection. All the Republican congress need do is hit that button. They could stop the abuse today. Their relationship with the bully is toxic and they know it. It is not normal. And when it destroys our democracy it will take them – and us – with it.

It takes courage to hit the emergency exit button. Congress – all of them – need to remember that they are the button for We-The-People. It is the reason we have in our constitutional design three co-equal branches of government: protection against an authoritarian takeover. They are now the button for the rest of the civilized world, too. We are en masse pressing the button. We are wondering why they are not responding.

They should know that, were they to find the courage to hit the emergency exit button, to do what they know they need to do, we would be there to help. As citizens of the United States. As servants to democracy. We share a common abuser and it is not each other. It is the current resident of the White House, everyday casting himself as a victim while he does violence to others – to all of us.

It’s way past time to stop the abuse. This is not normal.

read Kerri’s blogpost about NOT NORMAL

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It’s In Their Plan [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

“Wisconsin is evenly split between the parties, but when Republicans control the legislature and the supreme court, they suppress voting and heavily gerrymander the state in their favor…Currently, the state gerrymander gives Republicans 75% of the state’s seats in the U.S. House of Representatives although voting in 2024 was virtually dead even.” ~ Heather Cox Richardson, Letters from an American, March 28, 2025

Wisconsin is a perfect example, a fractal, of what literally ails our nation. In brief: republicans do not believe in democracy. If republicans actually believed in democracy, they’d spend less time suppressing the vote, gerrymandering, misinforming, fearmongering – and more time bringing relevant ideas to democratic governance. They’d earn votes rather than stifle voters.

If they were honest with what they actually represent, they’d never win an election.

The current occupant of the White House knows he cannot legislate his Project 2025 agenda. It is so wildly unpopular that he disavowed it until after he won the election. Now, in a fit of unconstitutionality, he jams it through by executive order. He wraps it in a thick veil of lie and misinformation.

If you are paying attention you’ll note that republican representatives in Congress are not showing up to their town halls. They are afraid to face their angry constituents and accept responsibility for their (in)action. And, since taking responsibility is not in their wheelhouse, they’ve invented yet another fantasy to explain the discord: the evil libs are paying people to rabble-rouse.

At least the republicans are consistent up and down the food chain. “It’s all a witch hunt”. “Not my fault.” “Never heard of it”.

The nation’s pet oligarch is coming to town. He’s trying to buy the election for the open state supreme court seat. “Musk has told voters that if Crawford wins, “then the Democrats will attempt to redraw the districts and cause Wisconsin to lose two Republican seats.” Not only has Musk said he is going to Wisconsin to speak before the election, but also he is handing out checks to voters who sign a petition against “activist judges,” a suggestion that it would not be fair to unskew the Republican gerrymander. Last night, Musk advertised a contest that would award two voters a million dollars each, with the condition that the winners had to have already voted.” ~ Heather Cox Richardson

To be clear, in the current republican world view, an “activist judge” is one that does their job, interpreting and clarifying the law, serving as a check-and-balance to the other branches of government. An “activist judge” upholds their oath to the Constitution.

Paying voters for their votes to maintain gerrymandered maps is a well-worn-page from their playbook. It’s also an act of desperation. Again, if they believed in democracy, if they actually believed in our system of governance, they would attempt to win on principle rather than with a festival of misinformation and blatant corruption.

Whoops! I forgot. Their weak man in the White House is dismantling our democracy in favor of fascism. In an authoritarian government, a judge’s job is to facilitate the criminality of the leadership so why should it be a surprise that the oligarch is buying votes for the republican candidate for the state Supreme Court?

It occurs to me that this may be our last free and fair election. Voting matters more now than ever. After Tuesday we’ll either have a court that fights corruption and attempts to preserve our democracy – or one that plays for payola. On Tuesday, we’ll either send a message to the silent republican majority in congress and prompt them to apply some brakes to the fascist takeover of our country or we’ll greenlight the gaslighters, watch as they comply with the weak man and eliminate our right to vote altogether. It is, after all, what the weak man promised: Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump told Christians on Friday that if they vote for him this November, “in four years, you don’t have to vote again. We’ll have it fixed so good, you’re not gonna have to vote.” ~ Reuters, July 27, 2024

Voting is unique to a democracy. Fascism, not so much. They’re not even trying to hide it. It is, after all, in their plan.

read Kerri’s blogpost about VOTE

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It Is All [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

“The ordinary days have a way of lulling us into believing there isn’t any urgency to them…” ~ John Pavlovitz

These days I am more likely to appreciate my moment. I’m no longer trying to get somewhere or be someone that I am not. I have finally traded the harried drive for self-improvement, the fool’s errand to save the world, the not-so-healthy-desire-to-be-other-than-I-am, for the warm embrace of self-acceptance. I’m now less interested in attempting to hide my brokenness than I am in fully valuing the life I have been fortunate enough to live – with all of its foibles and folly.

It’s the word “urgency” that caught me in the quote. It’s an interesting choice in a thought about presence to use a word that implies “hurry” or “haste”. The imperative in each moment to fully appreciate the gift of life. Now. Not tomorrow. Not when the race is won or the bank account is full. Now. Right now. Doing the dishes. Making the bed. The haste of slowing down.

The Buddhists call this “chop wood, carry water”. The awareness of the extraordinary in the ordinary, everyday tasks.

Dogga groans at night. His muzzle grows more grey with each passing month. Sometimes at night he struggles to stand. And, because we know beyond doubt that our time with him is limited, we linger with him. We fawn on him. We want to heap all the love in our hearts on him. There are no ordinary days. There are no throw-away moments.

Limits inspire appreciation. Rolling into sight of my looming limit is doing exactly what it is supposed to do. “Listen to the birds,” she just said. We stopped writing and drank in the birdsong.

The birdsong brought to mind a favorite quote from Shakespeare:

“There’s a special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, ’tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come. The readiness is all.” [Hamlet, Act 5, scene 2]

A quote about fate. Acceptance. And what is the gift of readiness? It is to be wide awake. It is all.

read Kerri’s blogpost about URGENCY

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