Holding On. Letting Go. [David’s blog on KS Friday]

The story of the BabyCat chair is the story of the tides of human emotional life. Holding on. Letting go. Holding on. Letting go.

After a titanic struggle with all that it represents to us, we let it go. We took it to the curb where it sat for a few days with no takers. We discussed chopping it up but couldn’t bring ourselves to do it so decided to wait. We decided to not-know what to do with it. We placed it in a spot beside the garage, like a memorial bench on a trail, it seemed an inviting place to sit and ponder the driveway.

And then the birds found the chair. We hadn’t considered the chair’s proximity to the bird feeder when we placed it by the garage so we were delighted when we looked out the window and discovered a score of birds enjoying the BabyCat chair. They were chattering, hopping armrest to armrest as if testing the comfort of their new chair.

“I guess the B-Cat chair has found a new life,” she said. “Perfect spot.” Keep in mind, we have a piano in our backyard so a chair in the driveway is not completely out of character.

The birds scattered when the workmen came up the driveway following the cable lines to the pole behind the garage. They had to move the chair to gain access to the pole. They were clearly puzzled by the chair since it was so obviously placed – rather than dumped – in that spot. They looked around before carefully moving the furniture-in-the-driveway.

With the snows, we’ve discovered that critters other than the birds have enjoyed a respite along their way. We’ve seen squirrels occupy the chair and found evidence of raccoons napping or at least pausing in their daily maraud.

Holding on. Letting go. Holding on.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE CHAIR

likesharesupportthankyou

The Evidence of Love [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

The evidence of love is all around us. Sometimes it’s easy to recognize. For instance, Dogga’s toys are scattered around the house. We track the movement as he daily re-positions his toys according to imperatives that only he understands. I imagine he practices his own version of sacred geometry or perhaps his toys are akin to chess pieces he adjusts in a game he plays with himself.

Sometimes, to the outside eye, love looks like poverty or an accident waiting to happen, furniture on the verge of collapse. This is the case with the BabyCat chair. BabyCat mostly ignored any other version of scratch post or scratch pad that we offered; he adored this chair. So we adore this chair.

In recent weeks we’ve entered a new phase in our epic house-purge-of-stuff. After BabyCat died Kerri moved the chair into her studio. I found her staring at the BabyCat chair. She said, “I think it’s time to let go of the BabyCat chair. I don’t need it anymore to remind me of BabyCat,” she said, pointing at her heart, adding, “He’s right here.”

After breakfast each morning, Dogga and BabyCat would retreat to the kitchen and nap together. It was their ritual. Although BabyCat has been gone for five years, Dogga continues to retreat to the kitchen after breakfast and settles into the same spot. We say to each other, “There he goes. He is communing with the BabyCat.”

The evidence of love is all around us. Sometimes it is easy to see. Sometimes it looks to others like a ruined wicker chair. Sometimes it looks like a dog sleeping in the middle of the kitchen floor.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE BABYCAT CHAIR

likesharesupportthankyou

A Simple Thing [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

In our defense, we didn’t buy the cupcake. Our dear Jen heaped a dizzying array of treats upon us before we hit the road. Also, she knows us. I imagine she predicted that, at the end of ten hours of driving, a bit of snack-decadence with wine would warm our hearts and make us feel at home.

Everyone on earth should have a Jen: a friend who is dedicated to making your life better and easier.

Everyone on earth should be a Jen: a person who is dedicated to making the lives of the people in their circle better and easier. And, since the circles we populate are not fixed or exclusive, the intentional kindness would overlap, ripple, and literally connect us – each to one another in a dedication of support – making the world a better place.

The first time I met Kerri, climbing into the car at the airport, I found a sandwich and a hot cup of coffee waiting for me. She thought I might be hungry after traveling so far. It was such a simple thing, a generosity. It reinforced what I already knew about her, what I already loved about her.

Making the world a better place. It doesn’t seem that difficult but it does require asking a question that seems radical in a dog-eat-dog culture: what can I do to make your life better and easier? It’s really a question of responsibility, isn’t it? The Butterfly Effect.

Yes, I am fully aware of the impossibility of my idealism. Yet, how fortunate am I to have a friend like Jen? How utterly impossible is it that I met and married a woman like Kerri?

read Kerri’s blogpost about CUPCAKES AND WINE

likesharesupportthankyou

The Marvel [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

The first dusting of snow arrived overnight*. What is bracing for us is a boon for Dogga. He loves the cold and snow. Prancing out the back door in the early morning, he was overjoyed to discover the frosty stuff. Rather than scout the yard, sniff the perimeter, chase the squirrels or any other of his usual morning activities, he performed his joyful ritual of first-snowfall: a full 360 degree Aussie spin followed by an immediate lay down – with a sigh of satisfaction.

From his snowy bed he surveyed his vast territories. He was the picture of contentment.

Hans-the-realtor once told me that, “Everyone has their heaven.” While I hastily closed the door and retreated into the warmth of the house to make breakfast, I left Dogga to enjoy his perfect slice of paradise.

We bipeds wield words like “mindfulness” or “presence” and pursue them as if they were achievements to be grabbed. This morning Dogga taught me – again – that there is nothing complicated about fully inhabiting and enjoying your moment; all you need do is stop the chase and lay down in the marvel called “snow”.

*We awoke this morning – the day after the dusting – to over a foot of snow. Dogga was in his glory plowing chest deep, cutting Aussie trails, through his favorite marvel: snow.

read Kerri’s blogpost about SNOW

likesharesupportthankyou

See The Sacred [David’s blog on KS Friday]

I’ve decided that one of the many problems we face as a culture and as a nation is that we do not recognize our sacred moments. We generally miss the extraordinary because they often come dressed in ordinary clothes; we look for grand gestures, tablets from the mountaintop, or confuse the sacred with something more entertaining. We miss the moment when we participate in the sacred, moments like voting, moments like speaking freely. There are moments like helping a neighbor, working at a food bank, volunteering at a school. Making someone’s life better is sacred.

Sacred moments are often gritty or mundane. They are not always like watching the sunrise over the lake on an anniversary.

Sometimes sacred moments are spontaneous. In the wake of the storm we wandered down to the park adjacent to the harbor. She wanted me to see the gazebo where the bands play. It’s an intentional place, a beautiful structure meant to be a center where the community gathers. Climbing the steps to the rain-soaked deck, I saw the idea pop into her mind. She pulled out her phone, brought up a piece of music that is sacred to us, If Ever You Were Mine by Cherish The Ladies. We waltzed as we did ten years ago. Our dear Linda taught us to waltz to this piece of music, our first dance at our wedding reception. Sacred.

We danced. Kerri led – just as at our wedding – and we laughed and laughed. I do not hear the beat as well as my musician wife. For us – for me – dancing badly with her is sacred.

The people in the park taking a rainy night constitutional gave us a wide berth. They must have thought the couple waltzing in the gazebo must be crazy or a menace to the public. We waltzed and because once was not enough, we waltzed again.

That’s the misunderstood characteristic of the sacred: it need not be reserved for rare occasions; the sacred can be courted, woven into the the everyday, the ordinary: the sound of the chimes that Guy gifted to us, the song of the cardinal or the hummingbird at the feeder. Raking the leaves on a crisp autumn day. The smell of freshly ground coffee. Holding hands as we descend the steps of the gazebo, splashing in puddles, shaking the rain from our hair.

Sacred.

SLOW DANCE on the album AS SURE AS THE SUN © 2002 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes or streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE GAZEBO

likesharesupportthankyou

Two Are One [David’s blog on KS Friday]

You might not believe it but it’s true. On the day we met – moments after we met – we spontaneously held hands and skipped – yes, skipped – out of O’Hare International airport, all the way to littlebabyscion in the parking garage. Our souls knew what our brains could not understand.

Little Miles calls us KERRIANDDAVID as if our names were one word. Through his child eyes he sees what our souls knew the day we skipped out of the airport. Two names, one word.

Ten years ago today we once again spontaneously held hands – and skipped out of the church. Our bodies finally caught up to what our souls already knew. Two are one. Naturally.

Holding hands, skipping. In all ways for always.

Our song. Kerri composed and recorded this for our wedding. AND NOW © 2015 Kerri Sherwood

read Kerri’s blog about TEN YEARS

likesharesupportthankyou

Moon Chat [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

Years ago, very late at night, I sat by a pool and had a conversation with the full moon. Essentially, I was letting go of my grip on safety and security. I was about to blindly step into the current. I vowed to the full moon that I would go wherever the flow would take me, I would love wherever it would lead me.

I’d completely forgotten about that long-ago-moon-chat until last weekend when, after setting the hose in the cool of the evening, I turned and was startled by the moonrise. The moon was enormous. It seemed to be staring at me, smiling. “Well?” it asked, “Do you love it? Was it worth all the tossing around in the tide?”

“Oh, yes,” I whispered. “I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

Unfettered, 48″x48″, mixed media

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE MOON

likesharesupportthankyou

Sharp Love [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

Someone once told me that love need not be a soft thing; it can be a sword that cuts or a flower with thorns. In fact, sometimes love needs to be sharp to cut through the noise.

Recently I’ve recognized outrage as a form of sharp love. We are now, each day, inundated with images that outrage us. If you are like me, you were outraged when you saw the photograph from Chicago: a burly ICE agent zip-tying the hands of a crying toddler.

Our outrage is not only warranted, it is deeply human. Our outrage is sharp love cutting through.

Now, when I see people protesting these outrages, gathering in the streets, showing up at immigration courts to bear witness, when I see independent media calling out the falsehoods and refusing to normalize the atrocities… I see people who love the promise of democracy, people who love others – strangers – enough to show up, to stand up and to call out the disgraceful action of authority run amok.

It is the same kind of sharp love that sends firefighters running into burning buildings. It is the same fiery love that makes a soldier fight for an abstract idea, like democracy, like freedom for all. It is the same sharp love that requires us to step away from those we know and love who continue to champion the outrageous.

Speaking about the recent cowardice of corporate law firms, media organizations and universities in the face of governmental pressure, Mark Elias said that “Courage begets courage. Capitulation begets capitulation.” In the courage of ordinary citizens, people taking to the streets, people showing up for their neighbors, people who are demanding decency of their government, I am seeing sharp love. Love begets love even when – especially when – it looks like people outraged at the treatment of other people, people standing up for the rights of their fellow human beings.

read Kerri’s blogpost about ROSES

likesharesupportthankyou

The Luckiest [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know that I am
I am, I am the luckiest

~ Ben Folds, The Luckiest

Late at night. We talked of going back in time. Way back. Way back to the day before a single event changed the trajectory of our lives. “Who was I on the day before?” she asked. “Who would I be now?” After a moment she added, “I want to remember what that felt like; what she felt like.”

This past decade has been the single hardest period of my life. It has also been the best. I now understand that, previous to this era, I was a dedicated runner-from-life. In grinding me to a fine powder, this magnificent universe has brought me to a standstill. Standing still.

I slow-walked through a grove of trees. I set down my backpack when I had one-of-those-moments: I wanted to be nowhere else, doing nothing else. I have those a lot lately.

I don’t get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns
The stumbles and falls brought me here

Who was I on the day before?

I wish I could reach back through time and tell him not to worry so much. I wish I could tell him what it feels like to be here, that all his running and lostness would eventually take him to stillness. Standing still even in the midst of chaos. A lover of simple things. I wish I could tell him that, even if he cannot yet see it, he is – and always has been – the luckiest.

read Kerri’s blogpost about HEART

likesharesupportsubscribemanythanks

Greet The Messenger [David’s blog on KS Friday]

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” ~ Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Lately we’ve been walking an out-and-back that takes us south along the water. The turn around point is the Southport Beach House. It is a sacred place for us; ten years ago, on a beautiful October day, we held our wedding reception there.

Although not consciously intentional, there is something essential about our near-daily walks to the beach house. As we approach our tenth anniversary, we find that we are reaching back. In reminiscing, we make contact with our origin story. We are appreciating the distance we’ve traveled, the hardships we’ve endured, the support we’ve enjoyed, and the profound changes we’ve realized.

In our time together, life has taken a hard rock to our shell and we are better for it. We are more capable of standing in fire. Try as it might, circumstance cannot pull us from center. We know how to discern substance from nonsense. We are no longer in a hurry “to get there” and are more than content “to be where we are”.

A seagull stands watch on the light post. It’s greeted us each time we’ve take the steps down to the beach on the path circumnavigating the beach house. In symbol, a seagull represents “the spirit of exploration and boundless freedom”. I like what that bodes. I have come to expect to meet this messenger on our path and why not?

I’ve had plenty of experience focusing on the hardship and bemoaning the pain. Why not now expect to meet each day the spirit of exploration? Why not assume boundless freedom? Isn’t this the very realization that now pours forth, the understanding that was once imprisoned in the hard armor that our life-pain has opened?

Take Flight on the album This Part of the Journey © 1998 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE SEAGULL

likesharesupportsubscribecommentthankyou