Fall Into Togetherness [David’s blog on KS Friday]

Posted on December 26, 2025 by davidrobinsoncreative

“We have fallen out of belonging. Consequently, when we stand before crucial thresholds in our lives, we have no rituals to protect, encourage, and guide us as we cross over into the unknown.” ~ John O’Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings

What does it mean to fall out of belonging?

This season brings us Christmas and Hanukkah and Rajab. Since they are rituals of identity they are cycles of renewal. They affirm these are my people and with them I know who I am and what I value. Each year, through our rituals, we reaffirm who we are and what we believe. It is one way – perhaps the most important way – of understanding the return of the light.

To fall out of belonging means that the rituals are enacted but their purpose has collapsed. They are no longer the glue that binds but have dissipated to become merely economic. To fall out of belonging is to be alone together. It is to be valueless since value is an aspect of relationship-with-the-whole. To fall out of belonging means there is no whole – and no way personally or communally to be whole.

That seems like an apt description of this nation once again at war with itself, dismantling every value, trying to sort out whether belonging is inclusive or exclusive. Are we equal under the law or unequal members in an ever uglier caste system? Who are we and where are we headed?

The glass blocks on the stairway seemed an appropriate metaphor for this threshold we are about to cross into the new year. The image is murky at best.

I used to be certain that I did not belong until an unlikely voice challenged my certainty. “Belonging is not an issue,” she said. I realized how wedded I’d become to my story of not-belonging. Not belonging was central to my identity as an artist. My culture defines artists as deviant. I laughed aloud when I realized that my place on the margin was my role in the society, it was how I belonged.

I also realized that It was not so much that I didn’t belong to my society but that I did not want to belong to it. It frightened me, this community that regularly conflates money with morality. This society that fears facing the totality of its history.

What I learned then is more true now: belonging is not the issue. The issue is to what kind of society do we want to belong. It’s the relevant question – the only relevant question – we need to ask ourselves as we stand on this threshold, preparing the ritual parties and fireworks, as we decide where we will be and what we will do at midnight of the 31st, as we make resolutions that will carry us into the new year and into who we want to become.

Belonging is not passive. It is not a given but requires our participation and commitment to renewal of what we value.

To what kind of society do we want to belong? The answer to that question will determine the society that we will create. It is up to us to determine which unknown we will cross into, whether we will continue to fall out of belonging and further into the dark divide – or whether we will choose to fall into togetherness, as our rituals of renewal, when truly valued, have always aspired: out of many, one.