So, Really? [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

It’s the eve of the new year.

This is the season that holiday cards arrive in the mail. Often, the card is accompanied with a letter reviewing the senders’ events-of-the-past 365 days*. Those letters are necessarily reductions and always make me wonder what didn’t make the cut. What is the abundant story told between the lines? What is the story of abundance edited out for holiday-brevity?

For instance, if I tried to share our experiences from yesterday – the life events of a single day – it would be a novel. My holiday card would be tucked into page 392 of my account of a single day of life. Would you like to know that we took a walk? Is it relevant to know that on our walk we discussed the many people we lost this year? There have been many. We told stories of the-last-time-we-saw-them. Our stories of loss evoked a deep appreciation of life. We shared dreams of the future. There are many dreams. Yearnings, in fact. In a single minute we laughed hysterically at the antics of our grown children, during a recent brief visit, racing through the house opening closet doors to find both forgotten treasures and fodder to torture their mother – and then we fell into silence wondering when we would see them again. Human stuff. Longing bouncing against laughter. We do that a lot: bounce joy off of sadness, pull awe out of desolation. She stopped suddenly and knelt in the snow, the beauty-tug of the sprig of pine needles against the ice-cold-blue-blue was too much to pass by. The many, many moments of heart-tug would feature prominently in our novel-length-holiday-letter-recounting-of-a-single-average-day.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate knowing that Junior made the soccer team or that in April the family got new iPhones. Achievements and advancements are nice to know. In that spirit, did you know that we have new gutters? The gutters were my gift this year to Kerri. She got me a new fuel pump for the truck. The real story, however, the interesting part of the life-tale, is the reason we needed new gutters in the middle of December. And what is the wild story behind the fuel pump?

Necessity always makes for a great story. So does the collision of yearning and obstacle. I wonder what inner-imperative drove Junior to soccer?

Everyone wants to put a good face on their passage. We do too. I’m more than willing to redact my days and paint a smile on my life-message. Yet, every time I read a holiday message printed on holly-decorated-paper, I wish that I could have a single hour with the holiday letter writer. We’d brew a cup of coffee, sit together in the sun and I’d ask, “So, really, what gets you up in the morning?”

*read historian Heather Cox Richardson’s review of the events of 2025

read Kerri’s blogpost about PINE ON SNOW

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Witness [on DR Thursday]

It’s almost impossible for us to keep walking when the sun sets. We stop wherever we are. In quiet, we watch it descend. It’s as if we are full participants in the day’s end. Holy moments. Holding sacred space. It’s the role of the witness.

I feel the same is true now, at this year’s end. It’s not always true in December but this year is different, It’s almost impossible for us to keep walking. In quiet, holding hands, we are watching the year descend into the past.

I wonder what we are, in fact, witnessing? We stepped off the known path and are once again traveling the unknown trail. That is not new in our experience. It is actually more common in our lives to be stepping into new territory. To not know where we are going. This time feels different.

A few years ago I painted a picture that I like very much. It is simple. Kerri calls it Pax. Peace. The figure in the painting is satisfied. Present. At peace. I’ve not thought about this painting for a long time but it’s walking with me right now. It’s asking to be pulled from the stacks.

Witnessing is not passive. This painting will be our witness during the setting of the year. We will witness it as it daily reminds us to be at peace. Holding hands in sacred space. Not rushing to get out of the woods even as the light wanes.

I have sometimes wondered why I paint. Today I know without doubt the reason.

Pax, 24x24IN, mixed media

read Kerri’s blogpost about SUNSET

pax © 2015 david robinson