Attend [on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

She thinks I’m kidding. If we someday walk the 2,650 mile Pacific Crest Trail I will require an emotional support donkey. This is no joke! She does not do well when she’s hungry and I’m not sure I can heft the amount of snacks necessary to keep her from daily H-anger. Hiker hunger is a real thing and without an emotional support donkey to carry sufficient snacks I’d walk all 2,650 miles with low-grade anxiety.

For our seventh anniversary she gave me a plant, a heart-shaped-leaf Philodendron. It was meant to keep me company in my office. I was spending most of my life alone upstairs noodling away at software-start-up conundrums. She thought I might need an ally. We cleverly named the Philodendron “Seven”. I’m not ashamed to admit that my life improved dramatically when Seven greeted me each morning. I surprised myself the day I asked Seven a question and an answer popped into my brain. “Did you just answer me?’ I asked, squinting my eyes at those mischievous heart leaves. Here’s a good Zen koan for you: What is the sound of a heart-leaf Philodendron chuckling?

When the pandemic closed the world we transformed our sunroom into a plant sanctuary. A ponytail palm arrived. A snake plant. Succulents. Our sweet Desi, who dreams of someday being a pine tree. The finicky KC. We sat in the sunroom surrounded by our plants every day. They lifted our spirits. We tended them and they, in turn, tended us. Eventually the plants spilled out of the sunroom into the living room and now our sitting room and bedroom are plant-ed.

When we saw this little plant stake in a shop in Cedarburg, I laughed. We’d need a thousand of the little stakes. The tall grasses in the yard. Breck, the little-aspen-tree-that-could. Kerri’s tomatoes. The basil. I’d consider withholding a stake from the crabgrass but it gives me a mission-impossible that keeps me busy and self-important, so I suppose it’s also an emotional support plant in disguise.

I wonder if the birds might wear tiny bracelets? Emotional Support Bird. Between the green things and the feathers-that-fly – not to mention our bevy of two-legged friends – we’re pretty well emotionally supported. Well, everywhere but on the trail. Do not doubt I’m keeping my eyes peeled for that donkey.

read Kerri’s blogpost about EMOTIONAL SUPPORT

Share The Merlot [on Two Artists Tuesday]

Among my many escape fantasies is a not-so-far-fetched roadtrip across the country to perform our play, The Roadtrip, for Valentine’s Day in Mike’s theatre in the central valley of California. In my fantasy it’s a fundraiser for Mike. He’s generous and kind. He’s also the funniest person I know and a few laughs never hurt the soul. We’d park our fantasy RV at Rob’s house because, like Mike, he’s one of my favorite humans and I always feel better about life after time spent with him. Plus, he and his wife, Bea, are fabulous cooks and are wine-crazy like us. What could possibly refuel our art-jones better than good food and good wine shared with good people around a table of raucous laughter?

If you read the full text of our Roadtrip, our six month email exchange before we actually met, you’d read about two people falling in love. You’d also be awash in conversation about steaming mugs of coffee and appreciation of merlot.

As part of our wedding ceremony, we read a few of our Roadtrip exchanges. Julia reminded us recently when she left this hysterical and lovely decoration on our door. Julia is also a gift-of-light in this world. A spirit-lifter. Her note read that she immediately thought of us when she saw this and had to get it for us. We laughed out loud. The sentiment could not be more true. Her generosity could not be more moving, timely.

“You had me at merlot,” Kerri read, smiling. “I think we have a reputation.”

I think we are surrounded by extraordinary people. Julia, Mike, Rob, and others will certainly make an appearance later today when we sip our merlot in this life that we once could only imagine – and share together gratitudes in our Daily Gorgeous.

read Kerri’s blogpost about MERLOT

Pick Your Star [on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

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Mike Libecki is a mountain climber. He calls the necessary suffering of his sport pre-joy. “That way,” he explains, “I get to use the word joy in all of my sentences.” There’s joy at the summit. There’s pre-joy on the way up. It’s not a bad orientation to life, everything is relative to joy.

Skip’s meditation these days is on resilience. After a horrific car accident, he has more than a few tales of pre-joy. He has even more tales of joy. Human beings have a remarkable capacity to choose their stories, to orient to a path that is life-giving or to collapse their story into a state of no-joy. Skip chose resilience. The capacity to recover. To spring back in order to spring forward. Pick your star and sail toward it. That is Skip’s lesson to me.

Judy just wrote a book, Summoned By A Stroke. It is the blog posts she wrote to her community of support after her husband, Kim, suffered a major stroke. It is a remarkable testament to the invincibility of the human spirit when it intentionally orients to joy. It is also pays homage to the magnetic pull joy has on a community. There is  no attempt in Judy’s story to deny the pre-joy; there is a deep understanding that there would be no real joy without it.

During my Seattle years, when I was feeling blue, I would jump on the ferry to Bainbridge Island to visit Judy and Kim. This man wrecked by a stroke and, my friend, Judy, his wife, never failed to lift my spirits, to fill me up with laughter. More than once, on the return ferry, I would sit in utter amazement. I told myself that I should be bringing comfort and support to them but the opposite was, in fact, the case. What I experienced with them was beyond words. So much joy. If there is a place where pre-joy and joy blend together, Judy and Kim inhabited it. Today, this is Judy and Kim’s lesson to me:

“Kim and I are learning that happiness is not about what we do or where we go but how loving we are in relationships, how open and curious we are about where we find ourselves, and how inventive we can be with what we are given.” ~ Judy Friesem, Summoned By A Stroke

 

read Kerri’s blog post on PRE-JOY/JOY

 

 

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