Some Necessary Perspective [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

A hot flash drove her from the kitchen and onto the back deck. We were making dinner when she exclaimed, “I’m burning up! I have to go outside!” Dogga and I followed but before we made it through the back door she rushed back into the house. “I have to get my camera!”

The evening light was gorgeous. Directly above us a half moon peeked through the clouds. Even with all the visual beauty, the thing that most impacted me was the stillness. There wasn’t a whisper of breeze. It felt as if time was standing still. I felt as if I could breathe. So I did.

Until that moment I wasn’t aware that I was holding my breath.

Earlier in the day we’d attended a Hands-Off rally. The energy of the crowd was vibrant and angry. Prior to the rally we’d read warnings from the organizers not to engage with any maga counter-protestors or to incite violence. The pot is boiling, the circumstance is increasingly volatile. Peaceful protest is our right so keep it peaceful.

Civil unrest is not an abstraction for us. It has not been so long ago that our city was under martial law during the riots that followed the police shooting of Jacob Blake. The night we heard gunshots we were sitting on the deck, listening to the sounds of the rioters, scrolling for news, our go-bag packed and ready: Kyle Rittenhouse murdered two protestors and maimed a third mere blocks from our house.

Kerri showed me her photos of the sky. Her shots of the half moon. I took another deep breath.

The sky has always been a great perspective-giver. If I ever fool myself into thinking I’m-all-that, I need only look at the night sky to put myself into proper context. When I feel blue or frightened I find a sunset or sunrise a healing balm. This, too, shall pass. The drama of humankind is not the bigger picture.

“I think we have a bit of ptsd,” she said, reading my mind.

“I think you’re right,” I agreed, adding, “And, I think we have to prepare for what’s coming.”

Taking one more deep breath, breathing in the balm of the sunset, we went back inside to finish making our dinner. Grounding the chaotic abnormal in the stable normal, the sky once again provided some necessary and welcome perspective.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE SKY

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Drop And Roll [on saturday morning smack-dab.]

If you want to see me go primal, all you need do is hang out with me when there’s lightning. One hot flash of light ripping across the sky and I wince, drop, and roll. I enjoy thunder. Lightning, not so much.

The first time Kerri saw my lightning-behavior, we were on a walk when a storm blew in. There was no time between the violent white flash and cannon-style-boom. “It’s just lightning,” she said as I attempted to make myself a smaller target. We ran home. Well, in truth, I grabbed her arm and pulled so hard she had no choice but to fly along (giggling) with her manly-man bobbing and weaving to avoid imminent electrocution.

Even within the safety of the house, I will wax poetic about the beauty and wonders of thunder but add a dash of lightning and I lose all artistry. I dip into my animal brain. I’m happy to admit that, when there’s lightning and you want to find pants in our family, go find Kerri. You’ll find me under the bed with Dogga.

read Kerri’s blogpost about LIGHTNING

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Sit On The Tooth [on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

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It is a massive understatement to say that Kerri is NOT a happy camper when a trip to the dentist is necessary. A childhood filled with dental work sans novocaine has left her with some serious dentist ptsd. All you need do is say the word, “dentist” to her and her motor functions seize; that is, she locks up and cannot move.

Our dentist is kind. Someone is always available to hold the door open when I carry Kerri into the office. They take her in immediately so that I don’t have to peel her off a wall or otherwise pry her fingers from the furniture. The assistant knows to have the chair pre-reclined and the snap-on bib at the ready. The dentist is used to entering the room and finding me holding my wife firmly to the chair (truth: I sit on her legs so she cannot move). The dentist and I chit chat while my wife-chair bucks and curses. He pretends that all of his patients require spousal restraint.

And then, for reasons unknown to all, Kerri gives in to her predicament. It is not accurate to say that she relaxes but the struggle ceases. She sighs a mighty sigh and says, “Okay.” I look to the dentist for my cue and, mercifully, he says, “You can sit on the tooth.” There is a tooth-shaped stool in the corner and, exhausted from the patient delivery process, I slump onto my tooth stool.

Nothing of what I wrote is true but all of it is accurate. I lie outrageously while telling the absolute truth. Kerri fears dentists. Getting her there is, well, a process. Our dentist is world-class-kind. There is a stool shaped like a tooth. I am always grateful when I finally land on the tooth. The details, exaggerated or otherwise inflated, are true by degrees.

All that I know is, her dentist-ptsd is now my dentist-ptsd.  I’d much rather face the drill myself than face the fury of getting my wife there. The words I most fear in our house: “Oh, no, I think I cracked a tooth.”

 

read Kerri’s blog post about SIT ON THE TOOTH

 

 

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