Sit On The Tooth [on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

you can sit on the tooth copy

It is a massive understatement to say that Kerri is NOT a happy camper when a trip to the dentist is necessary. A childhood filled with dental work sans novocaine has left her with some serious dentist ptsd. All you need do is say the word, “dentist” to her and her motor functions seize; that is, she locks up and cannot move.

Our dentist is kind. Someone is always available to hold the door open when I carry Kerri into the office. They take her in immediately so that I don’t have to peel her off a wall or otherwise pry her fingers from the furniture. The assistant knows to have the chair pre-reclined and the snap-on bib at the ready. The dentist is used to entering the room and finding me holding my wife firmly to the chair (truth: I sit on her legs so she cannot move). The dentist and I chit chat while my wife-chair bucks and curses. He pretends that all of his patients require spousal restraint.

And then, for reasons unknown to all, Kerri gives in to her predicament. It is not accurate to say that she relaxes but the struggle ceases. She sighs a mighty sigh and says, “Okay.” I look to the dentist for my cue and, mercifully, he says, “You can sit on the tooth.” There is a tooth-shaped stool in the corner and, exhausted from the patient delivery process, I slump onto my tooth stool.

Nothing of what I wrote is true but all of it is accurate. I lie outrageously while telling the absolute truth. Kerri fears dentists. Getting her there is, well, a process. Our dentist is world-class-kind. There is a stool shaped like a tooth. I am always grateful when I finally land on the tooth. The details, exaggerated or otherwise inflated, are true by degrees.

All that I know is, her dentist-ptsd is now my dentist-ptsd.  I’d much rather face the drill myself than face the fury of getting my wife there. The words I most fear in our house: “Oh, no, I think I cracked a tooth.”

 

read Kerri’s blog post about SIT ON THE TOOTH

 

 

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weeping man ©️ 2015 david robinson

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