aging | The Direction of Intention

The Principle Applies [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

Posted on December 11, 2025 by davidrobinsoncreative

Steve-across-the-street said that we’ve already had more snow than all of last year. “It’s not even the middle of December!” he exclaimed. I haven’t researched snow totals but it certainly feels like we’ve had more snow. I barely touched the snow shovel last year or, for that matter, the year before. This year the shovel and I are getting daily workouts. It’s possible that I could be snow-buff by the end of this season. It’s also possible that I could be snow-broken.

(note: Kerri tells me to “be careful” each time I lace on my boots and put on my gloves to go shovel. That is a relatively new development. During my last teeth cleaning the dental hygienist spoke to me in an extra loud voice; my greying beard led her to believe that I was hard of hearing. I admit that every time I look in the mirror I ask myself, “Who the hell are you and what have you done with my face?” But I don’t shout my question since I’m not having problems hearing my inner voice).

The excess of snow is producing an abundance of icicles. They are magical if you remember to appreciate them from a safe distance and not stand in awe beneath them. They are beautiful if you refuse to consider what they are capable of doing to your house. We have a special collection growing just outside our backdoor. I’ve learned not to smack them away as they will take the awning and any vinyl siding with them. Dan loaned us his heat gun and I am looking forward to melting them away between bouts of snow shoveling. Melting them is not a solution since I know that they will inevitably come back in a few days but I consider it akin to mowing the grass: I do not expect my mowing to be one-and-done since grass-grows and the same principle applies to the icicles. Plus, they are fun to melt.

Even at my age.

read Kerri’s blogpost about ICICLES

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Filed under: DR Thursday, Identity, Navel Gazing | Tagged: aging, artistry, david robinson, davidrobinsoncreative.com, December, icicles, Kerri Sherwood, kerri sherwood itunes, kerrianddavid.com, kerrisherwood.com, musing, snow, story, studio melange, the melange, weather | 1 Comment »

After All [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Posted on December 1, 2025 by davidrobinsoncreative

We spent some time hanging out with Frank over the holiday. He is 93 and doing a stint in rehab. Frank is filled to the brim with great stories told with the laughing good humor of a man who has made a friend of folly. On our way out the door he said, “After all, isn’t that what’s most important in life, what life is about? Good friends. The relationships we enjoy. The time we spend together” We nodded and he added, “It seems like we have nothing to complain about.”

Frank is among my role-models for how to age well. Stay wide-open to new experiences. Believe in the goodness of people. Dance the twist at every opportunity. Laugh at yourself. Cultivate your mischief. Stand firmly planted in gratitude.

A few years ago I read about a comic whose performances and life blossomed when he realized that his job was not to make people laugh, rather, it was to bring them to their laughter. It’s subtle but profound: focus on what you bring to others, not on what you get from them. Later, as we prepared our Guinness Irish stew and mashed potatoes, I realized this simple message was Frank’s superpower, the reason why I admire him: even at 93 years old in rehab, even while facing an impossible mountain to climb, his focus was on what he could bring to us. There was not a hint of self-pity. There was no mention of his aches, pains or growing list of obstacles. He told fishing stories and regaled us with adventures from his youth. We laughed and bantered and left feeling full to the brim with great stories and good humor.

“After all, isn’t that what’s most important in life, what life is about? Good friends. The relationships we enjoy. The time we spend together” We nodded and Frank added, “It seems like we have nothing to complain about.”

read Kerri’s blogpost about GATHERING

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Filed under: Gratitude, Heroes, Merely A Thought Monday | Tagged: aging, artistry, david robinson, davidrobinsoncreative.com, gather, Kerri Sherwood, kerri sherwood itunes, kerrianddavid.com, kerrisherwood.com, laughter, mischief, relationship, story, studio melange, Thanksgiving, the melange, togetherness | Leave a comment »

After All [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

Posted on February 25, 2025 by davidrobinsoncreative

When all is said-and-done, he just wants to be by our side. Nothing makes him happier than our happiness. We are his purpose, his reason for being.

From Dogga I am learning the art of simple appreciation. I am learning that exuberance comes from the elementary. Love need not be complicated. Joy need not be complex. Each time he bounds out the door he leaps from the deck, greeting the day, as if for the first time. When I leave the house my mind is usually encumbered with a list. I assume I know what is out there. Would that I might bound out the door to greet the mystery-of-the-day with unbridled enthusiasm, each moment new.

Lately, when we attempt to go on errands, we put on his red necktie (his leash), he races toward the car, we open the car door as we always have, and he shrinks, backs up, ears down. Frightened by…something, his zeal drains. Puzzled, we lead him back to the house, take off his necktie, and leave him behind. Going on errands used to be atop his list of desires. Occasionally, we give it another try and the pattern is the same: verve until the car door opens; a retreat from the car to the safety of the house. He is an old dog now. He is also wildly empathic. I wonder if he feels the rising aggression in the world and would rather stay safely at home. I understand that. He listens to his intuition without doubt. I could learn a thing or two from his clear communication, his self-certainty.

We made 20 dinner last night for his birthday. He is Dogga’s favorite. All we need say is, “He’s comin'” and Dogga bounces with excitement and races to sit at the front door. He barks and runs circles at 20’s arrival. After dinner, with Dogga asleep at our feet, we admitted to each other that he is slowing down, showing his age. We had to stop our conversation, choking up.

When all is said-and-done, we just want him to be by our side. Nothing makes us happier than his happiness. Perhaps his lessons about love are sinking into us after all.

read Kerri’s blogpost about DOGGA SMILES

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Filed under: Love, Two Artists Tuesday | Tagged: aging, appreciation, artistry, david robinson, davidrobinsoncreative.com, dogga, enthusiasm, exuberance, intuition, Kerri Sherwood, kerri sherwood itunes, kerrianddavid.com, kerrisherwood.com, love, slowing down, story, studio melange, the melange | 5 Comments »

Nothing More Beautiful [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

Posted on September 17, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative

I make it a practice to take notes when I have calls with Horatio. He says the most extraordinary things. This morning I search-and-rescued this Horatio comment about aging: he said, “It only felt like an ambush because I hadn’t been paying attention.”

I went looking for Horatio’s quote because Kerri and I had a spontaneous-hysterical-conversation about the abrupt changes in our bodies over the past five years. “Look at this!” she bellowed, “It just happened!” Of course, I was too invested in horror at my own creeping-decrepitude to notice what part of her body she was disparaging. “It never used to be this way!” she muttered, spinning slowly so her disdain was a full 360°.

I made the rookie mistake of asking what age she was comparing herself with. Because her glare signaled that I was about to spend the rest of the day in the doghouse, I quickly added, “I don’t look like I did when I was thirty, either.” Rookie mistake number 2. Dumb. Stupid. Brainless. Dense. Not to mention dangerous. Had she killed me in that moment, no jury in the land would have found her guilty; “Her act…,” the jury foreman would report to the judge, “…was justified”.

We make a practice of paying attention. It’s why we often choose to walk slowly. Rather than walk through the woods, we try to be in them. To notice. The consistent miracle when walking slowly is that there is always something new to discover, something that we’ve never before seen. For instance, the portal in the ancient tree. We’ve walked past and admired this tree a hundred times. We’ve placed painted rocks in its nooks. Kerri’s photographed it dozens of times; age has made it beautiful. Photogenic. And, today, for the very first time, we noticed the portal, a peek through the tree to the other side. “How did we miss that?” we exclaimed.

“It only felt like an ambush because I hadn’t been paying attention.”

Horatio, of course, is right. There is no ambush. The river keeps flowing and somehow we are surprised to find ourselves in places we’ve never before imagined. New stages of life. All the time I tell Kerri that she is beautiful. She cannot hear me because she expects herself to be in another part of the river entirely. I am guilty of the same false expectation.

Looking backward in life is like looking through the tiny portal in the ancient tree. The view is blurry and limited. Ask me if I would like to go back to the time when my body was thirty and I will howl with laughter, “No way!” This day, this moment, as hard as it can sometimes be, is the best time of my life. I am learning to appreciate my aches and pains, my ever-changing-body, to pay attention to where I am and not where I imagine I should be.

Here and now. There is nothing more beautiful.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE PORTAL

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Filed under: Awakening, Body, Gratitude, Metaphor, Two Artists Tuesday | Tagged: aging, artistry, awareness, beauty, body, body changes, david robinson, davidrobinsoncreative.com, expectations, Kerri Sherwood, kerri sherwood itunes, kerrianddavid.com, kerrisherwood.com, pay attention, paying attention, story, studio melange, the melange, time | 1 Comment »

Weather Beautifully [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Posted on August 19, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative

“…happiness, when pushed to an extreme, becomes calamity. Beauty, when overdone, becomes ugliness.” ~ Thomas Merton, The Way of Chuang Tzu

I am early in my slow-read of The Way of Chuang Tzu. I already love it. This morning I read these words by Thomas Merton slowly, again and again, tasting them like poetry: “…a system constructed on a theoretical and abstract principle of love ignores certain fundamental and mysterious realities, of which we cannot be fully conscious, and the price we pay for this inattention is that our ‘love’ in fact becomes hate.”

The abstract ideal contorts us. The “what is” always loses in a comparison to the “should be”. Thus, a world of nature’s beauty swirls down the drain.

Marketing ideals and mirrors reflect theoretical and abstract principles. Constructed systems. They readily twist our natural love of self into a hatred of our bodies and faces. Is beauty really the exclusive province of the young? Jessica Tandy and Hume Cronyn grew more and more beautiful, more and more brilliant with age. Aging is among the “fundamental and mysterious realities” of which Thomas Merton wrote. There is profound beauty in aging, a mysterious reality that is not accessible to the young.

On Saturday we published a Smack-Dab cartoon about aging. We poked fun at my discovery of new wrinkles when looking in the mirror. Poking fun at ourselves is a good strategy for embracing the “fundamental and mysterious reality” of this beautiful life. There’s so much pressure to do otherwise, to resist, to deny, to pretend. Laughter is a great eye-cleanser.

We live in a society slathered with memes and messages of self-love while, at the same moment, we drown in messages to be other-than-what-we-are. Is it any wonder we are conflicted and seem incapable of sorting out what is real and what is not?

I know with certainty, like every other human that walked before me, I will disappear into time. Why spend another moment of my precious limited time on this earth resisting the gorgeous life that I enjoy? Why try to hide my age to match a manufactured ideal?

There is a reason the clothes I wore a decade ago no longer fit. There is a reason my beard is grey and the light in my eyes is less fierce than it was twenty years ago. I am different now. No more or less beautiful.

I said, squeezing her hand, “Let’s become apple-dolls together.” Her eyes welled with tears. What could possibly be more beautiful?

read Kerri’s blogpost about WEATHERED BEAUTY

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Filed under: Identity, Merely A Thought Monday, Seeing | Tagged: abstractions, age, aging, artistry, beauty, comparison, consciousness, david robinson, davidrobinsoncreative.com, ideals, Kerri Sherwood, kerri sherwood itunes, kerrianddavid.com, kerrisherwood.com, love, mystery, natural beauty, self love, story, studio melange, the melange, The Way of Chuang Tzu, Thomas Merton | 3 Comments »

Near Hiatus [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab]

Posted on August 17, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative

Until today, I’ve never been compared to a good english muffin. For that matter, I’ve never been compared to a bad english muffin. In the end, whether a good english muffin or bad, I am a festival of nooks and crannies and plan on celebrating each new addition. When you’re falling, dive!

You may have noticed an appearance change in this addition of smack-dab. Unlike me, it’s not new nooks and crannies. We are having technical difficulties at Smack-Dab International. Namely, Kerri’s computer died mid-Smack and took this week’s cartoon with it. While I was readying a post of apology for our smack-dab-hiatus, she produced this strip in record time on her ancient iPad mini! Moral of the story: while I look more and more like breakfast food, she is rapidly becoming the queen of the work-around. She never ceases to amaze me.

read Kerri’s blog post about ENGLISH MUFFINS

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Filed under: smack-dab | Tagged: aarp, aging, artistry, david robinson, davidrobinsoncreative.com, english muffin, identity, image, Kerri Sherwood, kerri sherwood itunes, kerrianddavid.com, kerrisherwood.com, middle age, middle age cartoon, middle age romance, mirror, nooks and crannies, saturday morning smack-dab, smack-dab, story, studio melange, technical difficulties, the melange, wrinkles | 4 Comments »

For A Moment [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Posted on August 5, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative

“The distinctive human problem from time immemorial has been the need to spiritualize human life, to lift it onto a special immortal plane, beyond the cycles of life and death that characterize all other organisms.” ~ Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death

We waited until the oppressive heat of the day passed to take our walk. The air was thick and still but it felt good to be outside, moving. Because the humidity teases forward every former injury, we talked about our ubiquitous aches and pains. My back. Her wrists and fingers.

Kerri stopped and said, “I get it now.” We laughed at the memory:

One day, years ago, Beaky looked in the mirror and declared, “I look like an old woman!”

Kerri said, “Momma, you’re 93! You are old.”

Beaky stared at herself in the mirror and added, “But I don’t feel old!”

“I get it now.”

As we walked we talked about feeling young in a body that hurts when it’s humid. A new experience on our path through life, a growing dissonance between body and spirit. The spirit steps a few feet away and looks back at the body, declaring, “What the heck! That’s not what I look like!” It is certainly not what I feel like.

There’s a surprising gift in the dissonance. Perhaps, like all good paradoxes, within the discord, the first real harmony of life becomes available. The “supposed-to-be” drops off. The social face is less useful and set aside. The striving to be somewhere-else-in-some-imagined-future-achievement ceases, becomes so much dust. Suddenly, the miracle of life is not somewhere else. It is found in the here-and-now. Flexing achy fingers. The evening sky made pastel by humidity.

The growing realization that this ride is limited makes it all the more precious. Grounded.

Life – spirituality – becomes uncomplicated. Unapologetic. Authentic. Spirituality that requires no cathedral or book of rules. No incense or intermediary. No searching or appealing prayer. Spirituality that is borne of the simple appreciation of the moment. Feet firmly planted on the ground. In the Buddhist tradition: joyful participation in the sorrows of the world. Here and now.

In joyful participation, holding hands with achy bodies on a humid evening, for a moment at least, we get it. We arrive at uncomplicated, unapologetic, and authentic.*

(*thanks to the Heggies Pizza truck for the post inspiration!)

read Kerri’s blogpost about UNCOMPLICATED, UNAPOLOGETIC, AND AUTHENTIC

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Filed under: Gratitude, Identity, Merely A Thought Monday | Tagged: aging, appreciation, artistry, authentic, consciousness, david robinson, davidrobinsoncreative.com, Ernest Becker, Heggies Pizza, humidity, identity, Kerri Sherwood, kerri sherwood itunes, kerrianddavid.com, kerrisherwood.com, miracle of life, paradox, paradoxes, presence, spirituality, story, studio melange, The Denial of Death, the melange, Unapologetic, Uncomplicated | 1 Comment »

DAD-GUMMIT [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab]

Posted on July 13, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative

This is what I am learning. It doesn’t happen all at once. It’s a slow erosion on the outside while the inside maintains a healthy denial. “One weird thing after another,” IS the process of aging. It’s not really weird; it’s a direct challenge to the delusion that IT happens to other people…not us. Not me!

“Things don’t work like they used to…” I say to myself, after trying to race across the street “like I used to”. That other part of myself, the sassy part that is always right, responds, “They’re not supposed to work like they used to. Be grateful that they work at all!” Sassy, realistic, but with little or no bedside manner. I can’t wait for THAT part of me to hit the surface. People will think I’ve grown cranky but I will know that my aging body facilitated a weakening social editor. My new-old motto: If your body is going to hurt non-stop then you might as well give the world a piece of your mind! If, then.

Of course, I can only give the world a piece of my mind because, in keeping with the theme, a piece of my mind is all that I have remaining. DAD-GUMMIT! Now, where did I put my sweater?

Jes’ kidding. I’m as healthy as a horse! Out to pasture. Nibbling on grass. Lolling in the meadow grasses…(see? Denial, denial, denial)

read Kerri’s blogpost about ACHES AND PAINS

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Filed under: smack-dab | Tagged: aarp, aches and pains, aging, artistry, artists, cartoon about middle age, david robinson, davidrobinsoncreative.com, Kerri Sherwood, kerri sherwood itunes, kerrianddavid.com, kerrisherwood.com, middle age, middle age cartoon, story, studio melange, the melange, two artists | 1 Comment »

Never Say Never [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab]

Posted on June 29, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative

Never say never.

I used to wonder how my elders could “just sit around and talk” – or not – and marvel at the appearance of the crabapple blossoms, revel at the appearance of some bird or another. “There must be something more interesting to do!” I’d say and silently huff, “I’ll never-ever just sit around and stare at stuff.”

Well.

We spent hours the other day watching the crow babies in their nest. The cardinals’ arrival always gets a rise out of use. The day the peonies bloomed was cause for celebration. Now I think, “The world would be a better place if people could just slow down long enough to notice all the miracles happening around them.”

Now I know. There is nothing more important or interesting to do than be fully present where I am.

I’m so glad that the younger version of me was so utterly wrong.

read Kerri’s blogpost about BIRD WATCHING

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Filed under: smack-dab | Tagged: aarp, aging, appreciating life, appreciation, artistry, bird watching, bloggers, cartoon, cartoon about middle age, cartoonists, composer, david robinson, davidrobinsoncreative.com, Kerri Sherwood, kerri sherwood itunes, kerrianddavid.com, kerrisherwood.com, miracles, never say never, painter, parents, presence, saturday morning smack-dab, smack-dab, story, studio melange, the melange, turning into our parents, writers | 1 Comment »

What if? [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

Posted on June 20, 2024 by davidrobinsoncreative

A few months ago Horatio told me that I needed to paint. Lately I’ve been mostly writing. He suggested that it would be good for me to get back into the visual part of my brain, the part that isn’t reliant on words. Horatio is wise. This morning I went down stairs and spent some time in the studio. As is usually the case, he was right.

Weeks ago I sketched a painting on a canvas. It’s been sitting on my easel. Waiting. For today.

It took a few minutes for me to let go. Standing and staring at the sketch, I felt locked up. I grabbed a small brush which is always a signal that I am thinking too hard. I was trying to “solve” the image through a linear sequential process. I put down my little brush, opened a jar of paint, and dunked my fingers in the jar, and began to spread the red paint just like I did when I was 5 years old. I used a rag to smear and pull and shade some of the globs. I reminded myself that I didn’t need to know where I was going. In fact, I needed to “not know” where I was going and dance with the image.

After a while I stopped thinking and started responding. I sighed a deep sigh of relief. I lost track of time. I felt a wave of spaciousness roll in to my too tight mind. Energy restoration.

Horatio must have seen it in me. My grief.

It’s a question of balance. I have lately of my artistry been asking the question, “Why?” As I roll into the next phase of life I am revisiting my roots. Why did I start doing this anyway? Why, as a child, did I paint through the night. If you’d have asked the child version of me the question “Why?” I’d have answered, “Because I have to.” There was no choice. There was no “Why?” There was a driving imperative. A siren call to “What if?”

An aging Daisy. Kerri’s photograph brought to mind Tom Mck. He told me when he entered his sixties, he became invisible. He felt as if he was stepping into the prime of his creative years yet the people he’d mentored or directed or coached – the people whose careers he had informed, shaped and helped launch – the people he reached out to after retiring from his “real” job – no longer considered his artistry valid or valuable. They never told him that he was no longer viable in their eyes but he knew. They either didn’t return his calls or it was months later that he’d get a dodgy response to an inquiry or a question.

I am experiencing some of that.

Today in the studio I realized that I have been asking the wrong question. I already know why. Asking “why” is like picking up a little brush, it is to think too hard. The truth is that I’ve always known: Because I have to. The five year old version of me was not concerned with value and validity in the eyes of others. That version of me thought nothing of dipping his fingers into paint and swirling them across the page. Because it felt good. Because it felt right. This version of me – after I stopped thinking – knew just what to do. I “thought nothing” of opening the jar, dipping my fingers into the paint… What if?

My visibility or invisibility is, in fact, irrelevant. As Tom Mck drilled into me: A writer writes. A painter paints. The rest is simply out of my hands.