Love Is. [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

I’ve decided love is like the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. The more we try to nail it down, the less we actually know about it. We know it when we feel it yet it is impossible to describe. If we know its location we cannot fathom its momentum. And vice versa. Poets and priests have been trying to wrap their fingers around it for centuries to no avail:

“All we need is love,” ~ The Beatles

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude…” ~ 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

If you want to jump down an bottomless rabbit hole, consider the religious views on love as articulated by the world’s many, many, many religions. As a boy I read and reread a thick book on comparative religions. It was my dad’s from a course he took in college. It left me with the impression that the more the religious try to lay claim to love the further away from it they travel. Carl Jung famously wrote, “One of the main functions of organized religion is to protect people against a direct experience of God.”

It does seem to me – especially now – that people not only seek protection against a direct experience of love but actively erect fortresses against it. The word “love” is often used to justify its opposite. For instance, the “love” of country is currently the go-to rationalization for the brutal rejection of others. Hurting others has nothing to do with love of country or love in any sense of the word.

The more we try to nail it down, the less we actually know about it. The more rules and laws passed to define it, the more “moral authority” is proclaimed to own it, the more the bible – or any religious text – is used to parse it…the less love is actually understood.

The message painted on the window read, “Love is. Love.” It’s not so complicated. Not really. Love is. It has no opposite. That’s what makes it so hard to grasp. There is no separation, no capacity for comparison, no black-and-white, no division from love that is not manufactured. Love is all inclusive. No law can slice it. No poet can contain it. No priest can claim it.

Love is. The rest – what we do with it – is of our own making.

read Kerri’s blogpost about LOVE

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The Smallest of Things [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

We’ve taught Dogga not to bark at the dachshunds next door. He stands vigil on our bed where he can see out the window and over the fence. He waits, knowing their morning routine. When the moment arrives, when the dachshunds come outside, Dogga groans and moans – like a character in a melodrama – to suppress his bark. He leaps off the bed, turns to look at us, and vigorously complains. His indignation is among our favorite morning rituals. We giggle at his yawling discord. We tell him to, “Go get candy cane!”, his favorite toy, useful in chewing away his dissatisfaction. He races into the next room returning with his plastic candy cane in his mouth, looking somewhat like Groucho Marx gnawing on a red and white striped cigar.

In those moments I couldn’t be more in love with my life. It’s the smallest of things.

We were like small children overrun with anticipation as we awaited the blossoming of the peonies. Last fall Loida gifted Kerri with two new peony roots. Elsa Sass and Amalia Olson. We planted them with great care, following the instructions to the letter. In the spring, little green adventurers broke through the soil. Soon there were leaves and then the tiniest buds. And then, one day, the buds began to swell; nature’s Jiffy Pop. Like Dogga peering out the window, we’d race outside each morning to hold our vigil. This week, the buds burst open, radiant flowers unfolded. Kerri was beside herself. The photo session has been ongoing for days. “I just love them!” she exclaims with each and every snap.

It’s the smallest of things.

This weekend, people left the comfort and safety of their homes to walk together in the streets. They showed up for each other. They showed up en masse to remind their elected leaders that they serve the public and not their party; they are meant to serve the needs of the public and not the whims of a criminal. People walked together to remind the absent/silent Republican members of Congress that they swore an oath to uphold The Constitution – and they are betraying their oath. Millions of people stepped out of their houses to walk together, to express their dissatisfaction with the brutality, the attempted authoritarian take-down of our democracy, to join together their voices to say, “We will not abdicate our responsibility to each other as you have abdicated your responsibility to us.”

It’s the smallest of things. To step out of the house. To walk with others. To speak truth to power, especially when power is a bully threatening violence.

Recently I’ve asked myself – as I’ve heard many others ask, “But what can I do?” This weekend we experienced an answer: Do the smallest of things. Step out of your house. Take a walk with your neighbors that sends a clear message to the cowards in Congress and the supremely corrupted court: The democracy that our ancestors planted here is precious and worth protecting.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE PEONY

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Choose Your Chosen [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

It might surprise you to learn that the adage, “Blood is thicker than water”, originally meant the exact opposite of what you assume. The full adage is “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”. “The [word] “covenant” in this context often refers to agreements or commitments made through shared experiences, like in battle or through friendship.” ~ AI Overview

The meaning flipped when the phrase was condensed to eliminate the context.

I live in a mobile society and have rarely lived close to my family. The people who have shown up for me, served as my safety net, lifted me when I have fallen, reached out when I needed a hand, have been my friends, the people I share my day-to-day life-experiences with. I have done the same for them. We have a covenant.

One of the reasons I enjoy attending our son Craig’s EDM performances is that Kerri and I enter – and are welcomed into – his tight circle of friends. He enjoys an extraordinary family of friends. They are kind, playful, and generous. As gay men they’ve all experienced cultural persecution, rejection and marginalization – often from their family of origin – so they understand to their bones the necessity of support, the power of presence in their chosen family. They consciously and intentionally create community. Craig and his chosen family give me hope. They open their arms and welcome us into the vibrant dance of their community.

Our society demonizes our son and his LGBTQ+ community yet, it is within this circle that I experience what the rest of our troubled nation is lacking: acceptance, inclusion, open minds, open hearts, authentic community. A spirit of play. A genuine dedication to showing up for each other. Honesty. As a persecuted group in an increasingly homophobic society, their support of each other means safety. The threat they face each day is actual, not an abstraction.

At the epicenter of their communal support is a simple truism: they’ve each walked (and continue to walk) a hard road to self-acceptance so they are masterful teachers of acceptance of others and powerful advocates for inclusion. Their encouragement is simple: be yourself. Fully. Find safety, together. Chosen Family, Infinite Love.

At the beginning of June, the month of PRIDE, I was saddened by the many, many people posting images of the flag of the United States with the words, “This is my pride flag.” Mean-spirited statements of division. The fear of difference. Sad declarations of homophobia.

It is the very reason why the original adage is so powerful: the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. We have so much to learn from the LGBTQ+ community – and what we might learn could very well save our democracy from those who only admit straight, white, males to their country club blood covenant, their ruling class, those who would persecute their way into brutal authoritarianism: Chosen Family, Bottomless Hate.

The covenant of our nation? Equality. With liberty and justice for all.

read Kerri’s blogpost about CHOSEN FAMILY

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It Comes To This [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab]

It comes to this.

Our nation is like an alcoholic in denial: it has never been capable of taking an honest look at the full scope of its history. And so, it can only take another drink of the thing that is killing it. Until it does, until it admits it has an addiction, it cannot move forward into health.

In our history is a mixology of ugly forces: Manifest Destiny (white males ordaining themselves as divinely appointed), with a splash of oligarchy shaken (not stirred) in a chilled tumbler that calls itself democracy. It’s a potent drink that favors racism, exploitation and continually pits the have-nots against the have-nots. It scars our liver, diminishing our capacity to process garbage.

It comes to this again.

In our history, this is not our first cycle with an attempted oligarchical takeover. This is the third. The first led to a Civil War (slavery was/is the engine behind the oligarch). The second, our “Gilded Age” culminated in severe economic depression [created by tariffs], the assassination of a president (McKinley) and the rise of a progressive president, Republican Theodore Roosevelt. “Progressive” meant – and means – checking corruption and corporate power while moving toward economic equality and equal rights for all citizens – regardless of race, gender, or sexual orientation.

“Progressive” is a term used when our nation attempts to fulfill the ideals of our rhetoric. Equality. Liberty and justice for all. “Conservative” is the term used by the oligarchy when it attempts to drain resources from the people and into the pockets of the few. Liberty for some. Justice for the select. For the fox crowd, “progressive” has become synonymous with the epithets “woke” and “socialist” – it serves as a testament to the power of fox-intoxication that maga – a group comprised of have-nots – are the champions of the oligarchy that openly mocks and blatantly exploits them.

The current administration is in a panic to white-wash our history. White males who consider themselves divinely appointed like to edit their ugly history so they appear, well, divinely appointed. Just. Righteous. Their Big Bloated Bill is not the first time in our history that the richest of the rich would take the spoon from the mouth of the poor so that they might have more, more, more – and gloat about it. And lie about it.

It’s ugly, this bar-stool denial cycle. This time around we are subject to an embarrassing military parade, a Congress that flees town AND their responsibilities, while a delusional executive whips up discord so he can order the military to fire on citizens – en route to suspending future elections. Conserving power has become more lucrative than serving the Constitution.

So. It comes to this. Again.

All we need do is to put down the toxic tumbler and look honestly at ourselves as a nation – a good hard full-scope look. We need to admit to ourselves what we are wrestling with – again and again and again.

Perhaps in our march against a would-be king, on the same day as the sham-shame-parade, we will find the fortitude to stop and ask ourselves a few candid questions: Who are we when not intoxicated with division? How do we get off this swiveling bar stool and actually – finally – fulfill the promise of democracy for all? A sober aspiration like equality is neither progressive nor conservative. It is the calling of the nation and, if we can be honest with ourselves, we just might someday come to it.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THIS COUNTRY

smack-dab © 2025 kerrianddavid.com

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A Poet’s Revelation [David’s blog on KS Friday]

Some enlightened poet/scientist named this little flower Shooting Star. The flower evoked for the scientist streaks of light arcing across the night sky. The scientist must have had a profound experience one night, gazing into the stars when, suddenly, the stars seemed to go haywire, zipping across the sky.

My first ever meteor shower happened while I was a teenager. I was in the mountains. I lay in a meadow with my friends and watched the heavens dance. It made me understand how so many cultures on this earth believe that shooting stars are either souls returning to the earth to be reborn or the souls of the recently deceased leaping into the other world. Souls in transition leaving a brilliant, momentary trace of light behind them.

Still other cultures believe that shooting stars are messages from the gods. Affirmations.

The message I received from my night in the mountain meadow watching the stars arc across the sky? I am infinitesimally small in this vast universe. And, I am intimately connected to everything. It’s a poet’s revelation.

The scientist who named the flower Shooting Star must have had the exact same realization.

[Bonus hope: A poet’s thought in a world of oppression in which we are connected to everything]

I Look At The World ~ Langston Hughes

I look at the world
From awakening eyes in a black face—
And this is what I see:
This fenced-off narrow space
Assigned to me.

I look then at the silly walls
Through dark eyes in a dark face—
And this is what I know:
That all these walls oppression builds
Will have to go!

I look at my own body
With eyes no longer blind—
And I see that my own hands can make
The world that’s in my mind.
Then let us hurry, comrades,
The road to find.

Blueprint For My Soul on the album The Best So Far © 1996/9 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums – borne of her poet’s revelation – are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about SHOOTING STARS

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Follow The Lines [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

“In the art world, lines are a fundamental element used to create a wide variety of effects. They can define shapes, create movement, guide the viewer’s eye…” ~A-I Overview to my inquiry about lines in art

I confess that I am having a hard time. I’m in the middle of a mini-moral crisis.

I’ve written this blog since 2010. I set out to write about positive things, affirmations and stories of the best of us. At the time I began writing I was traveling around the nation, working with incredible people everywhere I went, so I had a bucketful of stories to share, celebrating the best of the human spirit. Kerri and I began writing our Melange 382 weeks ago. We had so much art and music in our folios and files and we wanted to bring them into the light of day. Sharing the best of us – another way of celebrating the human spirit.

After all of these years I enjoy a small but enormously appreciated (by me) audience.

Lately, I am aware, that my daily writing and my focus is not about celebrating the best of us but has almost exclusively become about ringing an alarm against the worst of us. I am sometimes snarky. I am mostly horrified at how dulled we as a nation have become to the outrageous. I am alarmed at our normalization of the monstrous, the disappearance of Congress, the collapse of the system of checks and balances.

Each day I have a chat with myself about staying focused on the positive but I am lately finding that to be naive to the point of dangerous; it is akin to sticking my head in the sand or plugging my ears so I hear no evil.

Each day, more and more people are being swept off our streets. Each day, they are denied due process. This morning I’ve been reading – and verifying – accounts about the unnecessary death of a Haitian woman in one of our many overcrowded detention centers. The conditions are appalling. She is not the first. She will not be the last. Her crime: trying to escape abject poverty and enter the land of the free and the home of the brave.

90% of the people – human beings – are being held without due process in privately run detention centers that are by many accounts no better than concentration camps. Think about it: “privately run” means that they are detention-for-profit; the more people swept up and crammed into these camps the more money they make. Inhumanity with a profit incentive.

Which brings me to my moral crisis. I am both a visual and theatre artist. I know how to create movement that guides a viewer’s eye. I know how to make an audience see in a story what I want them to see. I also know how to prevent them from seeing what I don’t want them to see. It’s akin to the magician’s trick. Create a distraction so the mechanics of the trick go unnoticed. Our national media are masters of distraction. They make rather than report news.

We-the-people are being distracted. We are being pitted against each other so we do not look at the magic trick that is making our rights – and the rights of others – disappear. We are not supposed to see what is happening in the detention centers – we are not supposed to know how our taxes are being used, what we are paying for, what we are creating: a police state.

Follow the lines. It is not so hard to see what we are not supposed to see. It’s ugly. A president ignoring the law, exploiting brutal immigration sweeps to incite violence, manufacture an “insurrection” in order to turn the military against citizens. The suspension of elections will surely follow. The sweeps will include voices of opposition.

It is morally irresponsible to look the other way. It’s morally reprehensible to say, “There’s nothing we can do about it,” or “I didn’t vote for this,” or “I had no idea what was happening,” or “This doesn’t impact me.” It is fundamentally immoral to pretend that this is something that we “Can’t talk about.” It is depraved to roll along as if the current course of this nation is anything other than ethically bankrupt. People are dying, being held without due process in deplorable circumstances. And we-the-people are paying for it. We don’t like where the lines lead so we change the channel. We look the other way or swallow whole-cloth the media spin.

What is my responsibility to write? To paint? To draw? How can I celebrate the human spirit, the best of us, when the leaders of the nation are every day grinning at, applauding and investing in brutality, taking delight in human misery? And our tax dollars are making it possible.

a detail of Weeping Man.

read Kerri’s blogpost about LINES

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Special Crow Delivery [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

At the end of the epic poem, bees are Beowulf’s allies. They are his secret weapon. At the beginning of the story, they are his nemesis, stinging his face so badly that his eyesight is compromised.

If I follow this story template in my life, then crows will someday be my ally. During my years in Seattle they were definitely my nemesis. They attacked me on a daily basis. I learned that crows have facial recognition – and very long memories – so I can only assume that the crows mistook me for someone else. It was hard not to take their attacks personally.

There is another possibility. In many cultures crows are considered messengers from the spiritual realms. In this scenario, the crows were trying to wake me up, shake me up, open my eyes to something I was denying. They were ruthless. And, at the end of my time in Seattle, I definitely opened my eyes to something I did not want to see.

Or, I could combine both possibilities: the crows were messengers from another realm and delivered their message to the wrong person. I took delivery on someone else’s package, someone who looked like me.

I often think of the Seattle crows because there is a healthy crow population here in our neighborhood on the shores of Lake Michigan. They are everywhere. And, much to my delight, they’ve never given me a second look. Every day I walk the streets without crow fear, surprise swooping, or contact pain. They are messengers without a single message for me and I couldn’t be more pleased.

I know by their sounds what is happening in the neighborhood. I know when an owl or hawk is close. I know when a cat is creeping up on a nest (it is a distinctly different sound from the owl alert). I know by their silence that all is right in the neighborhood.

Beowulf sent his bees into the mouth of a dragon that was threatening his kingdom. Would-that-I-could send my ally crows into the mouth of the fascist dragon now threatening our democracy. I know from experience that crow-messages are not subtle or pleasant. They are very effective.

Crows are also symbolically associated with knowledge, intellect and wisdom. At the very least the crows might bring a special delivery of those attributes to the Republican leadership of this nation who seem to be running in short supply. Just like Beowulf’s dragon, they hoard mounds of gold with no idea what to do with it other than sit on it and breathe fire if their gilded seat is threatened. Just like Beowulf’s dragon, they terrorize the populace, whip up fear and discord, while feeding on the most vulnerable to satiate their gluttonous appetite.

If we follow the template of this ancient epic tale, the dragon’s days are numbered. Gold-hoarding bullies cannot long survive when the bees – or the crows – are unleashed, when the people decide that enough is enough.

read Kerri’s blogpost about the CROW FEATHER

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The Freedom To Dance [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

The juxtaposition was startling. At the exact moment that we were packed in a raucous dancing and cheering crowd, watching our son Craig, an EDM artist, perform at PRIDE Milwaukee, the dictator wannabe was threatening martial law and sending National Guard troops to Los Angeles to quell what his toadies are trying to call “an insurrection”.

The celebration of individual freedoms meets the crushing of individual freedoms.

The language is important. By every account (except on fox news) the protests against the draconian ICE raids were mostly peaceful. The Los Angeles Police Department published a letter praising the protestors for peacefully exercising their First Amendment right. Even so, the word that the Republican administration wields is “Insurrection”. This is not an accident. It is laying groundwork for the invocation of The Insurrection Act, which “authorizes the president to deploy military forces inside the United States to suppress rebellion or domestic violence or to enforce the law…”

A protest is not an insurrection. What we witnessed on January 6, 2020 was an insurrection: a violent uprising against the government. What we are seeing in Los Angeles is a citizen’s right to protest.

The Republican administration has been paving the way for the final move in their authoritarian takeover for months, branding campus protests “illegal” and threatening to withhold funding from colleges and universities that allow “illegal” protests – meanwhile arresting and deporting international students. The arrests and deportations of noncitizen students and scholars for expressing their political views are creating a climate of fear on campuses across the country,” said John Raphling, associate US program director at Human Rights Watch. “The Trump administration’s actions are an attack on free speech and threaten the very foundations of a free society.” 

The music pulsing, the crowd reveling, I was suddenly overwhelmed. I stopped dancing and watched the people. PRIDE began as a commemoration of resistance: in The Stonewall riots and demonstrations the LGBTQ community “fought back against government sponsored persecution.” 55 years later, I recognized my privilege to stand with a community of people celebrating their individual freedom and triumph over government sponsored persecution.

What’s happening in Los Angeles and across this nation? It is the Republican-led government violently uprising against the fundamental rights of the people. It is – just like January 6th – an insurrection against our democratic institutions and ideals. Make no mistake: the people in LA are coming together to fight back against government persecution, the creation of a police state and authoritarian attack on our democracy.

I can only hope that 55 years from now, some proud father, dancing in a crowd of thousands to his son’s thunderous music in a commemoration-celebration of the people’s triumph over their government-run-amok, will, like me, be overwhelmed when he recognizes the profound meaning of the moment: the exercise of his privilege in a nation that, once, when faced with authoritarianism, vehemently defended individual freedoms, democracy and the right to protest. For a moment he will stand in awe and then, swept back into his son’s vibrant music, will give himself over to the pulse, the heartbeat, the freedom to dance.

read Kerri’s blogpost about PRIDE

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Be Yourself. Stand. [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

All you need to know about the right to be yourself – and the current assault on that fundamental right – is found in this opinion piece by David Brooks: I’m Normally A Mild Guy. Here’s What’s Pushed Me Over The Edge.

“Deneen’s and Vance’s comments about men in combat are part of a larger project at the core of Trumpism. It is to rebut the notion that America is not only a homeland, though it is that, but it is also an idea and a moral cause — that America stands for a set of universal principles: the principle that all men are created equal, that they are endowed with inalienable rights, that democracy is the form of government that best recognizes human dignity and best honors beings who are made in the image of God.

To reiterate his point – seriously – take a moment and consider: The United States of America is an idea and a moral cause (not just a place). It stands for a set of universal principles: All men (people) are created equal. All people are endowed with inalienable rights. Democracy is the a form of government that best recognizes human dignity.

It is our fundamental belief in the ideal of equality, our steadfast dedication to protecting the inalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness…due process…that affords and uplifts the right to be yourself. Not everyone on this earth is bestowed with the right to be themselves.

Currently, we are poised to lose it.

“Trumpism can be seen as a giant attempt to amputate the highest aspirations of the human spirit and to reduce us to our most primitive, atavistic tendencies.” ~ David Brooks

We are witness to the amputation of our highest aspirations in the baseless attacks on transgender people, in the scrubbing of DEI initiatives, the assault on institutions of higher education, the gutting of government agencies, the whitewashing of our history, the attack on news and media outlets, the assault on women’s rights, the draconian deportation and incarceration of immigrants, the ignoring of due process, the blatant shift of wealth to the hands of the few at the expense of the many, the gross and unapologetic profiteering by the president and his family…

It is meant to make us fearful. It is meant to make us feel powerless. It is meant to make us numb. It is meant to bully us into silent compliance. It is meant to deprive all of us of our basic rights as human beings. John Pavlovitz wrote:

LGBTQ human beings in this country have never been more vulnerable or at risk than they are today. This Administration has built a platform upon their dehumanization. It is relentlessly targeting them with dangerous propaganda, willful disinformation, and predatory legislation, all designed to pander to the uneducated, ignorant, and fearful religious people who encompass their hateful base. Our trans brothers and sisters, in particular, have been fashioned into the monstrous enemy for them to aim their perverted theology toward.

A few weeks ago I used a quote attributed to Oscar Wilde: “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” If you are straight and white in the USA and find it hard to be yourself, just imagine what it takes to be gay and proudly (safely) be yourself. Imagine, if you can, what courage and fortitude it must take to be trans and be yourself.

The United States of America is an idea and a moral cause. It stands for a set of universal principles and inalienable rights. “Universal” means for all people, regardless of race, ethnicity, gender or sexual orientation. Democracy is the a form of government that best recognizes human dignity.

PRIDE cannot be a date on the calendar, it must be the calendar, a lifestyle that clearly declares that discrimination will not comfortably exist around us, no matter where it comes from.” ~ John Pavlovitz

This is PRIDE month. Be yourself. Stand for every human beings’ right to be themself. Do it now because your inalienable rights, your right to be yourself is rapidly disappearing.

[I wrote this post ahead of time, prior to the events now unfolding in Los Angeles. It is a historical moment, watching our inalienable rights disappear in this authoritarian take-down of democracy. I suppose we should not be surprised that the Republicans in Congress continue to mimic and support their standard bearer and chicken-out as history calls upon them to stand up, to speak truth, to honor their oath to serve and protect the Constitution. A sad moment for all of us.]

read Kerri’s blogpost about BE YOURSELF

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The Original Message [David’s blog on saturday morning smack-dab]

This is our first ever re-post of a smack-dab. We first posted it exactly 52 weeks ago at the beginning of PRIDE month 2024. Our nation is a much different place now than it was a year ago. Or, perhaps it is not so different. Perhaps the ugly face of our nation is now visible, unmasked. Homophobia is but one of the many phobias run amok in the meager minds of our Republican controlled courage-less capitol.

The problem with their collective yellow-belly is that it sanctions violence against all the colors of the rainbow. Wrapping a cloak of religious righteousness around prejudice and cruelty does not change it. It permits it.

The people participating in PRIDE events all across this nation this month are showing more courage, demonstrating more of the authentic American spirit of freedom-of-expression and inclusion – than the rigid right will ever understand. It is the celebration of difference that has always made our nation vital.

Given our current technical limitations we were going to use the same smack-dab images from last year and rewrite the dialogue – but decided against it. We liked the original message: love is love. Period.

read Kerri’s blogpost about PRIDE MONTH

smack-dab © 2024/5 kerrianddavid.com

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