Meeting The Madness [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Act 2 of Stephen Sondheim’s musical, Into The Woods, delivers a healthy dose of reality: there is no happily ever after. There is, however, a full-life with bumps and barnacles and growth and messy challenges and change. There is heartbreak and jubilation. There is a full-palette of feelings. There are bright days and dark days. A life without obstacles is a very boring affair.

In my past, when facilitating groups, I used to love proving to people that they like challenges, that they adore obstacles. If we don’t have hills to climb we create them. They are called hobbies. Or workouts. Or volunteering. We set goals that seem impossible and then meet them. And, among the greatest challenges we eagerly embrace is called “relationship”.

I knew how to teach about the challenge called “relationship” because I was once under the spell of happily-ever-after. I thought something was wrong with me when all of the colors of the relationship rainbow demanded attention. What was wrong with me was my unrealistic expectation, my dedication to a life without obstacles.

It’s what I love about this life: things flip over when illusions are popped. Happily-ever-after is no way to live. Each day I step out of bed looking for the miracles and find that they are always right in front of my face – and often they initially look like stumbling blocks. I can say with confidence that the road ahead looks to be riddled with hurdles and though I may grouse and complain, secretly I recognize and welcome the full-spectrum of color these hindrances will evoke.

My friend, Robert just wrote that, “…sometimes life throws big surprises at you.” We are living in a time when life is throwing big surprises at us in rapid fire each and every day. It seems that we are in an impossible situation with a government spiraling into authoritarianism. The vast majority of the people of this nation have had enough of the clown show and are turning out to meet the challenge.

There is no happily ever after. There is no return to a fantasy past. There are, however, millions and millions of people who are up for meeting the challenge, with all its bumps and barnacles, ready – more than ready – for the growth that meeting the madness will evoke.

read Kerri’s blogpost about I TOLERATE

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Sit In The Quiet [on DR Thursday]

Years ago I directed a production of Into The Woods and I wanted a set design alive with David Hockney colors. The production was gorgeous. The set the designer created was a vibrant fantasyland with the dark undertones wrought by dinosaur-size-too-big foliage. Tiny people in an oversized children’s pop-up book.

If I were going to direct the musical again today, I’d approach it through a different lens. I wouldn’t place it in the vivid palette of fantasyland; this world we journey through is fantastic just as it is. When Kerri and I walk, I am sometimes stunned to silence by the shapes and patterns and pops of color. Ominous and serene. Alive.

For reasons that have nothing to do with reason, I started using imagined leaf shapes, plant-symbols in my paintings. I know when I someday return to my easel, the plant shapes will be present – perhaps even dominant. There is no end to the eye-popping variations. Our walks in nature have me “seeing” again.

A few years ago, Brad and I talked about the deep backstory of why an artist creates. Of course, there’s not a single driving reason – it changes over time as we change over time. I know many artists who’ve set down their brushes, singers who stopped singing. They satisfied their backstory. They channel their creative juices into other forms. Based on the evidence, these days I am a writer. Lately, I spend more time drawing cartoons than painting paintings. And yet, I still think of myself as a painter.

In the past, a step away from the easel was acknowledging a fallow season, letting my batteries recharge. This time, the step away is different. My reasons are spinning, changing. The younger me-artist was finding a place to transform pain into presence. The middle-age-artist-me entered the studio because it was the only place on earth that made sense. It was a sanctuary. A quiet place.

Each day I walk down the stairs and stand for a few moments with the canvas on my easel. It’s a stranger. I hear my easel whisper, “Not yet. Soon.” I am content with soon. I feel as if I am in an extended meditation, borrowing a tradition from Japanese masters, sitting in the quiet until there is no space between me and the brush, no space between me and the motion. No space between me and the shape, the pop of color, the infinite variance of pattern. No space between me and the surprise-of-what-will-happen. No space between me and the story.

read Kerri’s blogpost about TRILLIUM

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