Stand In Happiness

655. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

I drive to Capitol Hill early every Saturday morning to take Tai-Chi class. I go early to get some coffee and a scone and have started a special ritual of sending photos of my incredible morning bounty to torture Megan-the-brilliant who responds in kind, sending me photos of her bagel and jet fuel coffee from The Blue Moon café. Soon I plan on recording my scone enjoyment moans and sending the sound effects along with the photos. Torture is torture and I can’t wait to see how Megan-the-brilliant responds; she has a competitive nature and will one-up me somehow. Video maybe, or her food enjoyment sounds will come with a Hollywood soundtrack. She’s young and has the technological advantage in our torture game.

Although there are several coffee houses within walking distance of my class I now go almost exclusively to the Starbucks – not because the coffee is better or because the scone is world class, I go there because of the way I’m greeted by my barista. As I come through the door he shouts, “Hey! You’re back!” He’s often singing a song or bantering with his co-workers. His joy and enthusiasm is infectious. And, although I am only there one early morning a week, he no longer asks what I want; my coffee and scone just show up. We laugh at something, I pay and move on, and then he brightens the day of the next person in line. He has unwittingly made my Saturday morning ritual, previously a time of quiet reflection, a solitary act, into a homecoming. A simple thing, a greeting, a decision to stand in happiness, has deeply impacted my life to the point that I build my week around walking through a door into a welcome that warms me.

It is a season of giving (and, really, why do we need to define a season when this life could be a generosity fest) and when I think of all the amazing people in my life, the people who nourish and enrich me, my mind does not go to the big events, it goes to a video chat, the pizza that showed up at my door, a barista, a note from a top secret person, a tai chi teacher who has no idea of the impact his quirky sense of humor has on my life. My barista hasn’t a clue that he is my barista and has no idea that he enriches my life. My top secret person knows but has no idea of the profound impact she’s having on my life. At the center of each of them is a pattern, a ritual of generosity, an intentional sharing of heart that these amazing people bring to each day of their lives. From their point of view, their generosity is ordinary; they do not see it as special. They greet. They act. They support. Today, I count myself the most fortunate man on the planet to walk in their circles.

Truly Powerful People (436)

436.
Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

I asked Alan to apply his wise-eyes to my workbook for The Ground Truth as I intend to publish it in book form before too long. He is a gifted author and helps me clarify my thoughts when they veer off into space. In the final pages of the book I used one of my early posts about Service and it disturbed him. In the post I wrote that there is a common step that people take when they move into power: they put themselves higher on the priority list. In fact, no one is higher. Alan gently tugged my sleeve and said, “Say more about this. I know what you mean and this is not exactly what you mean. What do you mean exactly?”

I live life at 30,000 feet. I see big pictures and connections. Details are not my thing. Details are like a cornfield that I step into and disappear; as Ana-the-wise might say, details are what I am here to learn. Here is my revision:

There is a common and necessary step when someone moves into their power: They cease serving the needs of others at the expense of their happiness. They step into their center and begin operating from a different kind of priority list: they cease seeking their fulfillment from others and begin living from their fulfillment. Fulfillment is in the offer, not in the reception of the offer. It is a necessary trick of language to make fulfillment a verb, an ongoing action of intention. In a sense, people moving into power honor their needs as a priority and as the means of truly serving others.

This does not mean they stop serving others! In fact, it means that they are capable for the first time in their lives of truly serving others. It is an equation of sorts: when you stop making other people your priority you stop seeking your happiness from their reactions and responses. Your investment shifts. You give for the sake of giving, because it is what you decide to do and not what you need to do to feel useful or valid or worthwhile; your worth is not located in the responses of others. Your worth is no longer at question so you do not need to seek it in the eyes of others.

It is the distinction between service and enabling. It is the step that makes someone truly powerful because they exit the power games. They no longer need to play – to diminish others, triumph over, defeat, negate, or control. They offer their best because it is their best offer. The rest is out of their control and none of their concern.

The devil is in the details and the magic, too. You can’t imagine how grateful I am for all the wise-eyes that surround me. You know who you are.