The Real Promise [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

“Too many of us still believe our differences define us.” ~ John Lewis

I confess, it has been a life-long fascination. Seriously, since I was a little kid, I’ve been amused, confused, and periodically gobsmacked by the swirling contradiction of identity-messaging in these un-United States.

Because we are the single most individualistic culture on the planet, we place high importance on being unique. We are encouraged to stand out. And yet, the first lesson I learned in school was how to stand quietly in line. We buy clothes that are meant to express our own distinct style while hyper-market-pressured to fit our image to the latest trend.

I spent years and years working with people who spent thousands of dollars outfitting home art studios so that they might express their own unique artistry…and then froze in their newly built temple, so fearful of what others might think of their creation. How many times have I heard someone, dressed smartly in their latest Ralph Lauren, tell me that they were looking for their voice?

It’s untenable. It’s no wonder we are perpetually self-discombobulated. The dreadful shadow of our national commitment to bewilderment is the game drawn along the color line that we’ve played since our nation’s inception: If they gain, we lose. If we gain, they lose.

We-the-people wrestle by placing the accent on the hard line of our differences. We wrestle with reaching across the hard line of difference to find our common ground: most recently our reaching has been known as DEI. Diversity. Equity. Inclusion. We strive to be one in our campaign to be individual.

If there is one universal truth I learned in my life as an artist, in my work with people struggling to find their novelty and power, it is this: unique voice is found in service to others. Unique expression is available when the self-serving ego gets out of the way. It’s a paradox.

Personal voice is meaningless unless it helps other people. To guide. To question. To recognize. To join. Actors perform to unite us in a shared story. Poets write to open us to universal truths. Musicians play to bring us together in a common experience. The real power, the promise available in these United States is no different than the promise bubbling inside each individual. Rare and special voice is found in service to the common good.

Artistry and governance share this trait: grace and power is always found in uniting and is invariably lost in dividing. We may someday realize the great promise in these United States if/when we at long last lay down the tired game of manufactured division and find our true, unique and powerful voice by uplifting all unique, diverse, and beautiful voices, a chorus in service to a common center called democracy.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE BLACK SHEEP

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What’s In A Name? [David’s blog on Two Artists Tuesday]

When at long last the humidity and heat broke, when the evening air was cool, we took a slow walk along the lake. It was a reprieve from the heavy air that seemed to me a metaphor for the state of the nation. Oppressive. Incessant.

Walking is for us an act of re-balancing. When it is “all too much” we walk to re-enter the present moment. For me in particular, walking gets-me-out-of-my-head or at the very least slows the pace of thought to something graspable. These past many weeks we’ve rarely walked. The heat and humidity was too much.

As Kerri took photos of the pastel sky, I breathed in the cool evening air, breezes from off the lake, and I thought of The Crucible.

Arthur Miller’s play, The Crucible, was written during the hysteria of the McCarthy era. At the end of the play, John Proctor has a choice, to sign his name to a lie, or to be executed. Wrestling with the untenable choice, he ultimately cannot bring himself to sign away his name:

“Because it is my name! Because I cannot have another in my life! Because I lie and sign myself to lies! Because I am not worth the dust on the feet of them that hang! How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; leave me my name!'”

He could not live with himself if he signed his name to a lie that was being used to justify the murder of his neighbors and friends.

It is a play as relevant today as in 1953 when it was written. Joseph McCarthy eventually lost all credibility – he lost his name – when much of what he claimed was proved to be false.

Call it witchcraft. Call it communist hysteria. Call it woke socialism…Every single horror enacted in the past several months is built upon a lie. There is no national emergency at our borders. The crime in Washington D.C is at a 30 year low. The voter fraud in the United States is statistically zero. Mail in ballots are among the securest ways to vote. There was no emergency necessitating the president to take away congress’ power of the tariff. The 2020 election was not stolen. Democrats are not rabid socialists attempting to ruin the nation. “Waste, abuse and fraud” was – and is – a straw man for gutting our government and our standing in the world.

It’s all a lie just as McCarthyism and the communist hysteria was a lie perpetuated to justify political repression and a power grab.

It is bracing that so many willingly sign their names to the lies that are now being used to justify the murder and abuse of our neighbors and friends – here and abroad. Looking at the pastel sky, grateful for the return of the cool, I wondered how long it will be before the heavy lie catches up with those so eager to sign away their names.

It always catches up. Lies collapse on themselves: they eventually turn and feed upon the very people who perpetuate them. Just ask Rudy Giuliani. Witness what he did with his name. The only question is how many people of integrity, how many John Proctors or Kilmar Abrego Garcias will be disappeared, how many decent people will be vilified, their good names smeared and erased, before the heat breaks, before the manufactured hysteria retreats, before cooler heads and competent minds reclaim the democratic ideals and the power of the nation?

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE PASTEL SKY

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More Than A Little Hippie [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

If conformity is what you seek, you need look no further than the Texas republicans – or republicans from any corner of the union. However, their lock-step compliance has nothing to do with the rule of law or adherence to standards or traditions – or any other conservative value; it has everything to do with obeisance to one bully-man. They bow low. Although they swagger and loudly proclaim their cowboy culture of independence, in action, they grovel in abject subservience.

Stephen Miller called protesters in Washington DC “aging hippies” and suggested that they go home and take a nap. It made me laugh; those aging hippies, exercising their first amendment right to protest, were refusing to grovel in the face of an authoritarian takeover. Unlike the swaggering-yet-toothless republicans, the aging hippies are resisting the militarized takeover of their city by the dictator-wanna-be. Those aging hippies are upholding a longstanding American tradition of protesting; they demonstrate to protect our freedoms from a lawless leader. They are standing up with courage and dignity.

Dignity and courage: two values – among many – that the toady republicans have apparently abdicated.

You know the world is upside-down when the cowboy-hat-wearing-guys-in-traditional-suits mewl and betray every single bedrock value that this nation holds dear, while the aging hippies stand tall and take to the streets to protect democracy. When the once unconventional hippies stand as the last firewall of democracy against those who claim to be conservative yet crumble and pule while working to make fascism the convention of the land.

There’s more than a little hippie in the original fighting spirit of this nation. By Stephen Miller’s definition, George Washington was a hippie. Abraham Lincoln was a hippie. Frederick Douglass was a hippie. Elizabeth Cady Stanton was a hippie. Every soldier who has ever fought for our democracy was a hippie. Every person who marched for civil rights was a hippie. Martin Luther King Jr. was a hippie.

A message to Stephen Miller and his fellow whining republican sycophants: no one – especially we hippies – and there millions of us – are about to go home and take a nap.

read Kerri’s blogpost about HIPPIES

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Beautiful. Perhaps.[David’s blog on Flawed Wednesday]

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” ~ Leo Tolstoy

We have watched Barney-the-piano change over these many years. As he ages and falls apart we discuss how he has become more beautiful. It is a sentiment that we do not allow for ourselves as we have also aged and changed over these many years.

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” ~ James Baldwin

There are days that I do not recognize myself. I look in the mirror and see my grandfather. I look in my heart and am surprised by what I see. In these past months I have discovered my intolerance and I am proud of my intolerance. I have discovered my hard lines of belief. I do not believe that masked men should be plucking people off the streets. I do not believe we should scrub history to make white supremacy palatable. Now, when I look in my heart, I know exactly what I believe. And I like what I see.

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” ~ Nelson Mandela

I recently wrote a play about this nation’s resistance to education. Educated people ask questions. Educated people are not easily drowned in propaganda. Educated people do not fear learning that they are wrong because the point of education has nothing to do with right or wrong answers and everything to do with expanding hearts and minds. Minds that expand reach toward the unknown. Minds that close stagnate in the safety of what is known. Entropy, the gradual decline to disorder.

“Change is the only constant.” ~ Heraclitus

Barney is beautiful. He has been home to chipmunks. He is a resting spot for squirrels. Birds revel where he once sported keys. He has dropped all illusions of grandeur and each day reveals his true nature. He makes progress toward earth. He does not resist his natural path. That is the secret of his beauty.

“Make every effort to change things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution.” ~ Maya Angelou

Master Marsh once told me that when caught himself complaining about something that he had three choices. Shut up (stop complaining). Do something about it. Or leave. In the current reality of our nation I am not able shut up. In fact, I feel it is necessary to raise the volume. That is what I am doing. We write and write and write. We ask ourselves every day, “What more can we do?”

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” ~ Albert Einstein

In their advanced age both Maya Angelou and Albert Einstein arrived at the same conclusion. They agree with Leo Tolstoy: to be better on this earth, we need to change our thinking. We need to think about changing ourselves. Looking at our nation (ourselves) doesn’t it beg the obvious questions: What are we thinking? Are we capable of changing our thinking?

Perhaps, as we dissolve, as we crumble like Barney, we will discover at the core of our national story the rot of exclusion. Then, perhaps, we can face our dysfunction, root it out, and change our thinking. Perhaps we can become the inclusive home that our nature – and our founding ideals – intended us to be. Beautiful. Perhaps.

read Kerri’s blogpost about BARNEY

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What I Remember [David’s blog on Not So Flawed Wednesday]

Memory is a funny thing. It’s almost never accurate. Over time we revisit and restory our life experiences, scrambling the order of events, forgetting essential details while hanging on with white knuckles to specific moments that we understand as truth.* This happened. It matters. I remember it.

I re-member it.

Joseph Campbell introduced me to a phrase, an aspect that is present in all creation myths: the paradox of dual focus. “…so now, at this critical juncture, where the One breaks into the many, destiny “happens,”but at the same time is “brought about.”

Kerri and I have an ongoing conversation about the paradox of dual focus. For instance, our coming-together-story seems fated, as if it was part of the grand-plan all along. “It was meant to be!” we exclaim. And, at the same time, we ask, “What are the odds?” Our meeting was a happy accident in a vast chaotic universe.

Both/And.

It just happened. And, it was meant to be. It depends upon how we re-member it. It depends upon how we want to story it.

A Balinese man told me that, in Bali, when two people crash their cars into each other, their first thought is “I am supposed to meet this person.” Insurance claims and blame are not priorities. Fate orchestrated a fender bender. The strangers emerge from their cars and greet each other as if fortune had just smiled upon them; they are two pieces of a greater puzzle come together.

Supposed to happen. Accident.

The greater puzzle. The essence beyond the fragments. The One that breaks into the many. Focusing on the small stone does not negate the truth of the mountain. The single blossom is an expression of the plant, which is nourished by the soil and rain and seasons and critters…

Memory is like that. It is both stone and mountain. Blossom and ecosystem. The order of things is less revealing than the essence, the relationship to the whole. We grow and change and so that what might have at one time seemed a hardship now seems a course correction, a blessing. Kismet.

It happened. It matters. That’s what I remember.

*(It is a sign of our times that I feel it necessary to distinguish my thoughts on individual memory from the facts of history. We live in a time when those in power are actively editing, scrubbing and rewriting history. They concoct a narrative that has little to do with the actual history of our nation. This is not dual focus. This is white supremacist fantasy-creation.)

read Kerri’s blogpost about BLOSSOMS

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The Welcome Stone [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

“There is no greater remedy for helplessness than helping someone else, no greater salve for sorrow than according gladness to another.” ~ Maria Popova, The Marginalian, August 3, 2025

“We are due for a win,” I said.

She said, “You can stack up the losses and focus on that or you can recognize that we are winning all the time.” She began to list the many, many, many bounties that we experience each and every day. I laughed. A teacher teaching me one of my favorite lessons to teach: One of the most potent choices we enjoy is where we place our focus. The bounties comprise a mighty stack.

She climbed on the rocks to catch a photo of the waves crashing. The lake was lively and sending waves toward shore like an ocean. Her photo captured a surprise pictograph. “Hi.”

“Oh. Hello,” I said to the picture of the pictograph greeting.

“I don’t agree with spray painting the rocks,” she said, and added, “But this made me smile.” Me, too. It evoked a chuckle.

I imagined some distant future archaeologist discovering the “Hi” on the rock. A sign left by the ancients. The team of researchers will decode the marks and marvel. They will discuss the meaning of the scrawl left on the rock. Perhaps this spot was once the portal to an ancient city? Papers will be published. It will become known as The Welcome Stone. People will travel miles to see it. They will buy tickets and speculate.

It will live as a reinforcement of the message deciphered on a large statue discovered with a similar sentiment: Give us your tired, your poor…

“Who were these people?” they will ask.

It amused me to imagine that they would probably never know that, at the time of the making of The Welcome Rock, we – the people – were asking ourselves the same question.

read Kerri’s blogpost about HI

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What Makes Us Beautiful [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

When I tell Kerri that she is beautiful she deflects or minimizes my words. She tells me that I am biased or acts as if she didn’t hear me. She is not unique in her response. How many of us have long ago shielded ourselves against the idea that we are beautiful?

Peel back the layers.

Many years ago a student came to my office. He was sobbing. He had recently revealed to his family and peers that he was gay and their overwhelming message back to him was that he was broken and needed to be fixed. He was vulnerable in revealing his truth – his beauty – and was slapped. The message: you are ugly. In his despair he could not see that the ugliness was in how he was being treated. At some point he cried, “I just want to break something!” I thought that was a very good idea so we went outside and hurled ceramic plates at a brick wall. We laughed and laughed until he could hear the words, “You are not broken”.

What I didn’t say to him was this: They want to hammer you into compliance because they fear your difference. Fearful people are threatened by difference. They label it as ugly. Your difference is what makes you unique, beautiful and special.

Isn’t it interesting to you that we-the-people, inhabiting the most individualistic nation on the planet, buy our clothes from the same retailers, worship hallowed brands, with the express purpose of fitting in? We express our individuality, judge our beauty, by conforming to a fashion image.

It is one of the reasons why Kerri cannot possibly allow my admiration of her beauty. She doesn’t fit the magazine-model-ideal. She is a blue-jeans-and-boots wearing, black thermal shirt girl (thank god!). It creates a split. On the one hand, she is an artist, a woman wrapped in difference who easily lives on the margins so she can more clearly see and reflect the society in her music, writing, and photographs. On the other hand, she cannot allow the notion that her difference is the very thing that reveals her beauty. She doesn’t fit the norm. She doesn’t match the magazine ideal or wear the right brands. She compares herself to those who do so she can’t possibly allow that she is uniquely beautiful.

It’s a lot of pressure, this need to fit in. In fact, it is a basic survival instinct to a herd animal like a human being. That is the real beauty, the magic of these United States. It is a society that, at it’s best, when it is in its right mind, strives to create the inclusion of difference, intends to celebrate the unique, make a safe home for diversity, a safe place for all to worship as they choose, love who they choose. In the ideal, difference – sometimes called “freedom” – is protected equally for all under the law.

We wrestle with the split. We need to remember that we are unique in the history of the world. We are a democracy comprised of people from all over this gloriously diverse planet, a nation of immigrants. This latest attempt by the morbidly fearful to scrub ourselves bland, straight and white, to bludgeon us back-in-time to some fantasy uniform past, is ugly and destructive. They would bully us into conformity, a one-size-fits-all mentality. We need only remember that our difference, our diversity, is precisely what makes these United States of America unique, beautiful and special.

This is not the time to deflect. What makes us truly beautiful is worth owning and vigorously protecting.

read Kerri’s blogpost about BEAUTIFUL

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The Glue That Binds [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

It’s such a small line of distinction yet the implications are profound. Our mechanic, Steve, believes that he is rendering a service to members of his community. His goal – his ethic – is to do good work for the people who trust him with their cars. Consequently, he has a loyal following and a solid, healthy business. Visit Steve’s shop and you’ll find an old guy sitting in an easy chair reading the paper. No one is in a hurry. Ask a question and Steve will stop what he’s doing and come look under your car. Then, he’ll chat with you about the weather or politics or swap stories about what the kids are up to. Steve won’t try to sell you what you don’t need. Leave your car with him and more often than not, after the repair, your car magically shows up in your driveway.

I always feel good after a visit with Steve.

Across the town is a specialty shop. They do work that Steve can’t do – or won’t do – in his small garage. He used to refer clients when they needed specialty work done on their cars. Not anymore. The owner of that shop is hyper-focused on how to maximize his business so, now, if you take your car to the specialty shop, you’ll be presented with a long list of repairs that your car may or may not need. The owner of this shop is no longer driven by a service ethic; he’s driven by a profit motive. He’s definitely maximizing his business.

There is a line of distinction and it is as simple as this:

I believe what we’ve lost, what we are now missing, is what Steve embodies: a genuine service motive. It’s an old world mentality, a small town ethic: work as service to others. Social cohesion is the result of people dedicated to serving other people. You can feel it at Steve’s shop. It’s personal. People gather there. Trust is a given.

On the other side of the line is the specialty shop. It’s a mill. Business is business and business is about making money rather than caring for the needs of the customer. You can feel it. It’s become impersonal. The lobby is like an elevator: no one talks. Trust is not a given: the work is hyper-efficient, factory-esque, so customers leave doubting the quality of the workmanship because the customer is no longer the center of the equation. Cha-ching is now the boss.

Social cohesion is the casualty of business dedicated to the bottom line above the people they serve.

And isn’t social cohesion what we are lacking?

We can serve each other – the very thing that makes a community and nation great. Or, we can exploit each other – the very thing that divides a community and erodes its trust. I believe that all of those angry red-hat-wearing-fox-news-watching folks want the same thing that I want: more Steves. They – like me – don’t want to be continually exploited, demeaned, and reduced by gorilla corporate interests who use us as a resource to be consumed and not a customer to be served. We want a government that serves the people rather than lines corporate pockets. More trust.

In the afterward of her book, Michelle Obama thanks the many, many people who supported her with the double entendre, “I am glad for you.” It is the encapsulation of a service motive. The first meaning of the double: For you I am glad. Your work made me a better writer, a better person. I could not have done this without you. Your service on my behalf matters more than I can express.

Meaning number two: I celebrate you. I serve your betterment just as you serve mine. We give generously to each other because Generosity – service – is the glue that binds us: social cohesion.

It’s a simple line of distinction. It is profound.

read Kerri’s blogpost about GLAD FOR YOU

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Show Up! [David’s blog on KS Friday]

They young reveler looked at me and shouted over the music, “It’s great seeing you here!” He offered a fist bump and guided me through the secret handshake that followed the bump. We laughed.

At first I was puzzled. I didn’t know him at all yet he was genuinely delighted to see me. And then it occurred to me. In his eyes I am old. My beard is gray. He was happily surprised to find an old guy dancing in the raucous sweaty crowd at Chicago PRIDE.

Kerri leaned forward and told him – well, shouted over the throbbing thunderous music – that the performer on the stage was our son. The young reveler looked like she just slapped him. “WHAT?!” he exclaimed. He turned and told his friends. They looked at us as if hell had just frozen over – a remarkable metaphor since it was 105 degrees at 7:30 pm. Parents at PRIDE! Parents celebrating and supporting their son! Impossible! Unimaginable! Fist bumps, high-fives! The young reveler shook my hand enthusiastically saying, “No Way!! No Way!!”

Their dancing resumed, more enthusiastic, more joyful, in a world made new with wondrous possibility. The word spread. Proud parents were at PRIDE, dancing! Hunky boys fanned Kerri to keep her cool. She stood on the curb so she could take pictures of the stage above the festive crowd. “You’re Craig’s Mom!” I heard declared again and again. More hugs and introductions.

Later, exhausted, on the train ride home, Kerri said, “I think it was really important that we showed up.” I knew what she meant. We unintentionally showed up for more than Craig’s performance.

I thought of something the MC said to crowd after Craig’s set, “Are you going to take care of your trans brothers and sisters? Are you going to take care of each other?” he asked. The crowd cheered and he added, “Remember, if one of us is marginalized, all of us are marginalized.” Words of caution made more relevant – and poignant – by the manufactured hatred of our times. The demonization of “the other” marginalizes all of us.

Now, more than ever, it matters that we show up for each other. I was heartened by the No Kings protests. I am heartened each time a community shines a light on masked ICE agents and shames them away from brutalizing yet another human being. Our presence – our witness – in this moment matters more than we will ever understand.

CONNECTED on the album RELEASED FROM THE HEART © 1995 Kerri Sherwood

Kerri’s albums are available on iTunes and streaming on Pandora

read Kerri’s blogpost about PRIDE

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Cycles Of Change [David’s blog on DR Thursday]

“Wars and temper tantrums are the makeshifts of ignorance; regrets are illuminations come too late.” ~ Joseph Campbell, The Hero With A Thousand Faces

It is a warm evening. The breeze has shifted and comes off the lake, blessed cool. The bird alights on the pinnacle of our roof. Like us it pauses in the refreshing breeze. It drinks it in and rests. This image, this moment, is ancient and I am taken by it.

In the midst of the chaos of the country, the seeming unprecedented circumstances we now face, it is somehow comforting (to me) to remember that no one escapes the cycles of mythology. Mythology is a universal growth pattern, cutting across culture, delivered through story. It is a human-life-map. It is unwise to confuse mythology with make-believe.

Our collapse of moral authority in leadership is not unique in history. Neither is the rise of our tyrant. Neither is the corruption of our court Supremes or the silent cowardice of Congress. We follow a historical pattern just as we perform a mythological cycle.

The Roman Empire fell for much the same reasons that the American Experiment is now wobbling: political corruption, the widening gap between the haves and have-nots eroding social cohesion (maga, the impact of inanity like “trickle-down-economics”, unfair taxation, granting “personhood” to corporations…), the exploitation of division, overspending on the military, limits imposed on innovation and education (the impact of DOGE and the decimation of research among other things).

When servant leadership is upended by self-serving-leadership, the path becomes explicit. It doesn’t happen all it once. It is gradual, this erosion of the foundation takes time. This is a mythological death.

Of course, each death signals the birth of something new. As Joseph Campbell wrote of times like these, it is wrongheaded and naive to try and go back in time to capture some imaginary heyday. It is equally misguided to try to force the fulfillment of some imagined ideal. Both facilitate dismemberment.

Our protests of autocracy, our resistance to brutality, plant the seeds of our transfiguration. We will never restore our democratic republic as we’ve known it. Neither will we fulfill it as first conceived: exclusive; democracy for the few. Fire transforms and what will emerge from this hot collapse is anybody’s guess. I will probably not live long enough to see it. Gestation like this takes time, too.

However, I take heart knowing that the cycle will eventually present us with a new generation of servant leaders, people who rise from the wreckage and sacrifice personal gain for the common good. People who were transformed by this current fire. They will carry in their hearts the pain of their ancestors’ regret.

The bird on the pinnacle served as a herald of that distant day. The wind shifts, cutting through the heat, bringing with it sweet relief and the promise of the cycles of change.

read Kerri’s blogpost about THE BIRD

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