The Direction of Intention

If you seek levity, if you are in want of a giggle, may I suggest that you follow Kerri and me through the grocery store and politely eavesdrop on our commentary.

I’m aware that for most people grocery shopping is a chore, a routine obligation. For us it evokes our inner stand-up-comic. Grocery stores tickle our whimsy and unleash tsunamis of sarcasm or impromptu songs. There’s so much material to work with!

“Baby Bok Choy is fun to say,” I mention as Kerri scrutinizes the baby bok choy options. Never one to let an alliteration pass her by, she launches into a lyric, a pseudo-rap personifying the virtues and exploits of the leafy green cabbage. The aisle clears as other shoppers find spontaneous public art dangerous.

Later, using her big, outdoor voice, she reads aloud the list of ingredients on a jar, proclaiming, “Trans-fats! Uh-OH! Get ready! Those MAGA Republicans are going to pop-a-gasket over this one!” Reading on she asks the entire world, “Does anybody really know what butylated hydroxyanisole is, anyway! Who would eat this stuff?”

“What does it meant to be butylated?” I ask, using my quiet indoor voice to model appropriate volume control.

“Don’t be a hydroxy-ANISOL,” she says and smiles. And then: “Someone butylated the baby bok choy…” she declares in mock alarm, unaware that the aisle has once again emptied of shoppers.

I push the cart so I regularly discover that I am holding conversations with myself. When she doesn’t respond to my commentary I realize that some odd grocery item two aisles back caught her fancy. I navigate a u-turn and find her standing incredulous before a multi-layered pastel cake. “Did you seeeee this?!” she exclaims.

“No.” I say.

“Oh. My. God!”

“What is it?”

“Have you ever seen anything so hideous?” she looks at me, wide-eyed.

“What is it?”

“The thought of eating this makes my teeth hurt! Doesn’t it make your teeth hurt?”

“What is it?”

“Who would ever think this was a good idea?”

“What is it?”

“And they made it Easter colors so people would buy it? Do you think people actually buy this?”

“What is it?”

“No wonder this nation is in trouble. People will eat anything!”

“Oh, it’s fox news!” I blurt, “In a cake!” A revelation.

She looks at me as if I haven’t been listening, “It’s a cotton-candy-cake!” she says, a new alliteration rising.

“Yeah. That’s what I just said. Fox news.”

“Who eats this stuff,” she asks, wrinkling her face.

“Just look around.” I say. “Sad.”

It makes my teeth hurt.

read Kerri’s blogpost about COTTON CANDY CAKE

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Filed under: Flawed Cartoon Wednesday, Flawed Wednesday, Language, Metaphor | Tagged: alliteration, artistry, baby bock choy, commentary, cotton candy cake, david robinson, davidrobinsoncreative.com, grocery shopping, Kerri Sherwood, kerri sherwood itunes, kerrianddavid.com, kerrisherwood.com, lyrics, poetry, story, studio melange, the melange, whimsy | Leave a comment »