aggression | The Direction of Intention

Hit The Button [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Posted on April 7, 2025 by davidrobinsoncreative

For an unrelated project research, I was reading an article about the tactics used by psychological abusers in a relationship; I found myself reading about the tactics employed by the current resident of the White House. Gaslighting, negging, emotional manipulation. Isolationism. And DARVO, a new acronym to me: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender…a very common tactic, in which the aggressor uses different elements of reality to cast the victim in the role of abuser and position themselves as the victim. Of course, this is not a new revelation. Plenty of people are writing about it. Plenty of people have been writing about it since 2016.

I suppose the penny just dropped for me.

“The penny dropped”. It’s an adage that comes from a coin getting stuck in a slot machine and the user having to wait for – or jiggle the machine – to get the penny to drop.

The most chilling thing about the article – the jiggle that made my penny drop – was not something in the article. It was the two choices at the very bottom of the site: “Emergency Exit” and “Clear Browser History”. A quick escape just in case the reader is afraid to get caught by the abuser. They are on the site because they are scared and trying to find help. They are looking for a way out of the abuse.

I wondered what happened – what had to happen – for them to finally admit to themselves that the violence is not normal. Were they abused one too many times and the penny dropped? What made them finally admit that their abuser is not the victim? They are. What finally popped the illusion that their relationship is not normal? It is dangerous. The buttons at the bottom of the site served as a testament to the truth of the relationship.

We generally write a few days ahead and lately it’s been almost impossible to stay in front of the abuse of our system. Each day there is another act of aggression. Violence enacted on the democratic system and the citizenry. By the time we publish, our thoughts are old news. Yet another blow has already been delivered and left a deep bruise on the face of the nation.

And, now, the abuser is spilling his aggression onto the world.

The Republican party is married to the abuser. Their silence during this daily beating is deafening. The Congress’ participation in the abuser’s aggression is disheartening since they were the original target of his violence. They are classic: filled with fear and whipped into compliance, they defend and enable their abuser. For them, the penny has dropped. Instead of seeking an exit to the abusive relationship they wear the smarmy sad mask of see-no-evil.

I wonder when they will acknowledge the choice at the bottom of the page: Emergency exit. They alone have the power to end the abuse. The Constitution is hanging on by its fingernails but it grants them the power to stop the bludgeoning of democracy. There’s still time.

There is a third button at the bottom of the site page: Contact Us. It takes courage to ask for help. It is possibly dangerous but certainly self-loving to exit an abusive relationship. It requires support. It necessitates protection. All the Republican congress need do is hit that button. They could stop the abuse today. Their relationship with the bully is toxic and they know it. It is not normal. And when it destroys our democracy it will take them – and us – with it.

It takes courage to hit the emergency exit button. Congress – all of them – need to remember that they are the button for We-The-People. It is the reason we have in our constitutional design three co-equal branches of government: protection against an authoritarian takeover. They are now the button for the rest of the civilized world, too. We are en masse pressing the button. We are wondering why they are not responding.

They should know that, were they to find the courage to hit the emergency exit button, to do what they know they need to do, we would be there to help. As citizens of the United States. As servants to democracy. We share a common abuser and it is not each other. It is the current resident of the White House, everyday casting himself as a victim while he does violence to others – to all of us.

It’s way past time to stop the abuse. This is not normal.

read Kerri’s blogpost about NOT NORMAL

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Filed under: Merely A Thought Monday, Metaphor | Tagged: abuse, abuser, abusive relationship, aggression, artistry, Congress, DARVO, david robinson, davidrobinsoncreative.com, democracy, escape, Kerri Sherwood, kerri sherwood itunes, kerrianddavid.com, kerrisherwood.com, psychological abuse, Republican party, story, studio melange, the melange | 5 Comments »

Return To The Most Human [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

Posted on February 24, 2025 by davidrobinsoncreative

“Non-violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind. It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction devised by the ingenuity of man” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

If you are like me you are seeing signs like this pop up everywhere. This version was posted in the elevator in a hospital. The first version I remember was posted at the drive-thru pharmacy. Evidently, we-the-people are angry and taking it out on each other. The collapse of civility. It’s not a surprise. Our elected leaders have always been a mirror of us just as we take on and mirror their attributes. It’s a bully feedback loop.

“Nonviolence is a way of life for courageous people” ~ Martin Luther King

Lately, I’ve been working on a new play. It explores the tug-of-war between our animal and human nature. What happens when consciousness meets impulse? What is possible when reason/thought grabs the shoulders of reactivity? We know what happens when conscious thought and concern for truth is nowhere to be found. We are living it. We are compelled to post signs in elevators in an attempt to reach through the animal to find the human. We attempt to legislate decency.

“An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

20 told us a joke from a recovering Catholic comedian. The joke builds a hierarchy of sin as articulated by the church. The worst sin, the very worst sin? Critical thinking. It is a punchline appropriate for the white-nationalist-christian-clan, the Project 2025 crew, currently spreading fear and creating scary boogeymen across the land. In the name of smaller government they poo-poo learning, ban books, outlaw all forms of critical thinking like DEI, critical race theory, the constitution, the rule of law, you know, things like checks-and-balances…

“Nonviolence seeks to defeat injustice or evil, not people” ~ Martin Luther King

In a recent podcast Ezra Klein said that, despite their bully-posturing, the current administration is weak. They know that they can’t move their agenda forward through congress so they are doing an end-run around congress. And, apparently, congress is too frightened to challenge the bully. Brute force – animal nature – is capable of dominating reason and heart for a little while. Right now, congress lacks courage. Courage comes from the Latin, “cor” which means “heart”. Our congressional leaders lack heart. Congress comes from the Latin “con” which means “together” and “gradi” which means “walk”.

It is something to hope for: Our elected leaders walking together. With heart. That’s the whole idea behind democracy. From the Greek, “dēmos”, meaning “the people” and “kratia” meaning “power” or “rule”. Rule by the people as represented by their elected officials. Not the oligarchs. Not a spray-tan-bully. Walking together. It takes courage.

“In its earliest form, “courage” meant “to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart”. ~ Brene Brown

In a single month, we have been witness to incredible violence inflicted by the current administration, both on our system of government, on our citizens and the citizens of the world. Jane Goodall tells the story of a little ape who learns that banging gasoline cans together, making violent noise, would scare the other apes, momentarily making the little ape appear to be alpha. In time, the illusion faded. The community caught-on, saw through the noise. They regained their courage and stopped the little-noise-maker.

We could learn a thing or two from Jane Goodall’s story.

Do you remember a time when we had no reason to post signs in hospitals, fast food joints, and other public spaces pleading with the public to act with common courtesy? It was not so long ago that we had courage. It was not so long ago that we lived from the heart, taught our children to respect others – to respect difference. It was not so long ago that our elected leaders, despite their policy differences, had courage and fiercely protected our democratic convictions.

If our leaders no longer have the will then we must have the courage to save our democratic conviction. Walking together. Rule by the people. Courage. Telling all one’s heart.

“Return to the most human, nothing less will teach the angry spirit, the bewildered heart; the torn mind, to accept the whole of its duress, and pierced with anguish… at last, act for love.” ~ John O’Donohue

read Kerri’s blogpost about AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR