Choose Your Chosen [David’s blog on Merely A Thought Monday]

It might surprise you to learn that the adage, “Blood is thicker than water”, originally meant the exact opposite of what you assume. The full adage is “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”. “The [word] “covenant” in this context often refers to agreements or commitments made through shared experiences, like in battle or through friendship.” ~ AI Overview

The meaning flipped when the phrase was condensed to eliminate the context.

I live in a mobile society and have rarely lived close to my family. The people who have shown up for me, served as my safety net, lifted me when I have fallen, reached out when I needed a hand, have been my friends, the people I share my day-to-day life-experiences with. I have done the same for them. We have a covenant.

One of the reasons I enjoy attending our son Craig’s EDM performances is that Kerri and I enter – and are welcomed into – his tight circle of friends. He enjoys an extraordinary family of friends. They are kind, playful, and generous. As gay men they’ve all experienced cultural persecution, rejection and marginalization – often from their family of origin – so they understand to their bones the necessity of support, the power of presence in their chosen family. They consciously and intentionally create community. Craig and his chosen family give me hope. They open their arms and welcome us into the vibrant dance of their community.

Our society demonizes our son and his LGBTQ+ community yet, it is within this circle that I experience what the rest of our troubled nation is lacking: acceptance, inclusion, open minds, open hearts, authentic community. A spirit of play. A genuine dedication to showing up for each other. Honesty. As a persecuted group in an increasingly homophobic society, their support of each other means safety. The threat they face each day is actual, not an abstraction.

At the epicenter of their communal support is a simple truism: they’ve each walked (and continue to walk) a hard road to self-acceptance so they are masterful teachers of acceptance of others and powerful advocates for inclusion. Their encouragement is simple: be yourself. Fully. Find safety, together. Chosen Family, Infinite Love.

At the beginning of June, the month of PRIDE, I was saddened by the many, many people posting images of the flag of the United States with the words, “This is my pride flag.” Mean-spirited statements of division. The fear of difference. Sad declarations of homophobia.

It is the very reason why the original adage is so powerful: the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. We have so much to learn from the LGBTQ+ community – and what we might learn could very well save our democracy from those who only admit straight, white, males to their country club blood covenant, their ruling class, those who would persecute their way into brutal authoritarianism: Chosen Family, Bottomless Hate.

The covenant of our nation? Equality. With liberty and justice for all.

read Kerri’s blogpost about CHOSEN FAMILY

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