Improvise [on saturday morning smack-dab.]

This might not be funny to the under-50-crowd. Just wait. Humor is the only way you can successfully navigate the things that start happening to your body.

To those of us who’ve crossed the line into diminished returns and leaky pipes, I can only offer a knowing smile. Yes, I know. Age has a way of translating crisis into a comedy monologue. There’s only one non-truth in this comic strip: Kerri would not be caught dead in the bushes. It’s the single obstacle to her launching a through hike on the PCT: no indoor plumbing (but she’s working on it…). As for my relationship with bushes? Well, let’s just say, “Now, that’s a good story!”

read Kerri’s blog post about REST AREAS

smack-dab. ©️ 2021

2 Responses

  1. For what it’s worth…

    Here are the lyrics to a fine John Gorka song (for the full effect look it up…I’m sure it’s on YouTube by now).

    People My Age
    John Gorka

    People my age, have started looking gross
    I can’t say all, and I shouldn’t say most.
    I’ve seen ’em in the grocery, I’ve seen ’em up close
    And people my age, have started looking gross.

    People my age, are showing some wear.
    There’s holes where their teeth was, and their heads have gone bare.
    Their brains are shrinking, faces turning into fat,
    And as for the mirror, we won’t be looking into that.

    People my age, have started looking gross,
    Maybe not in Colorado, or up the Silicon Coast.
    Back in Pennsylvania, I’d eat scrapple on toast,
    Those were my first steps, on the road to looking gross.

    People my age, are looking overripe.
    Some are getting operations, to tighten up what ain’t tight.
    What gravity’s ruined, they try to fix with a knive.
    What’s pleasant in the darkness, is plain scary in the light.

    When I first learned this song 20 years ago I discovered there was only one slight problem with it. That being that Gorka was something in the neighborhood of 37 when he wrote it. Being at that same time almost two decades older I knew some things were missing.

    So I added another important verse:

    People my age, have started looking gross
    There’s warts everywhere and fungus on their toes
    Their bunions are growing….it never ends…
    Can I make it to the bathroom?


    At my current age I’m thinking there’s some other things I didn’t know about that will require at least one more verse…

    • HA! This has to be my favorite comment of all time. We got off the road last night and kvetched about our aching joints. I think we ought to make it a point to get together and write a few more verses…there’s plenty of fodder and I suspect the grosser we get the funnier we will be. Think on it.

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