Open The Box

JIm Marsh of the band, Mom's Chili Boys, tuning up for rehearsal.

JIm Marsh of the band, Mom’s Chili Boys, tuning up for rehearsal.

It is often the simplest of actions that rock the world. I had one of those moments yesterday. It was a threshold moment. Its power took me by surprise. It changed me and all I did was open a box.

We flew to California to work on a play. I’ve worked on dozens of plays and performance pieces in my life but this one is special because it’s not an abstraction. It’s not a made-up story. I’ve lived it and lived with it for nearly a decade. The event, the catalyst of the play was the discovery of a box, a time capsule plastered into the walls of a ranch house over 130 years ago. Tom found the box. It held the possessions of an ancestor, a small boy who died in 1885. The boy’s mother, Isabelle, put his clothes and toys in a small trunk, wrote notes, some brief anecdotes about the boy, and then hid the box in the walls of the house.

Nearly ten years ago, we began creating the play when, late one night during a visit to the ranch, Tom asked me to help him. He asked, “What am I supposed to do with this box?” At first, much of the body of the play amounted to organized transcription. During each visit I recorded hours of conversation with Tom, hours of late night storytelling, and then flew home and transcribed the recordings. I wanted to catch the cadence of Tom’s vocal patterns. I wanted to catch the rhythms of his extraordinary voice and gift of storytelling. The play was his to perform; my work was simply to craft it, to draw a clear story-path for him to follow. The play, a one-man show, was ready for production when Tom’s health failed. He died a year ago.

During Tom’s decline I rewrote the play so that I might narrate the story and added another character to the piece. The Chili Boys had a battery of new music for the play so we gathered in Stockton to integrate the new music with the new text.

When we arrived in California, we visited Tom’s widow, Marcia. She gave us the trunk so we might photograph the clothes, toys, and notes. I’d seen the artifacts many, many times. Tom and I wiled away many nights unpacking the box and reading the notes, talking about his family stories. When our rehearsals were finished, sitting with Kerri and Jim moments before driving back to the airport for our return flight, we decided to open the trunk. Kerri had never seen the artifacts. As I lifted the lid, as I opened the trunk, I realized it was the first time; Tom had always opened the box. Tom had always reached inside, removed the shoes, the tattered coat, the hobby horse, the diary that contained the tracking notes of a fever that killed the boy. This boy was not fiction. Tom would say, “Look at this. Look at what she wrote on this.”

I opened the lid, for the first time, reaching inside, pulling out the shoes, the jumping jack, saying, “Do you see this? Someone must have made it for Johnny. And here, this is the notebook that Isabelle kept of Johnny’s fever. Look at what she wrote.”

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Surprise A Frog

Trust me when I tell you that there is no way for a fully mature frog to take up residence so soon in the pond. We dug the pond at the end of June. While we were away in August a merry prankster poured soap into the pond. Suds clogged the bubbler and mucked the filter so the water was rancid by the time we returned. The soap killed everything. A week ago we drained the pond, scrubbed the liner, removed and tossed in the garbage all of the plants, and cleansed the rocks that define the border. And then we refilled it with fresh water.

Two days ago while I was scooping the leaves from the water, a frog darted across the pond, stepped on to the rocks on the far side and stared at me. I stared back. I’m sure the frog was asking the same question that I was asking, “Where did you come from?” After a lengthy stare down the frog decided that I was benign and slipped back into the water. It had an easier job solving the mystery of my sudden appearance than I had solving the mystery of its arrival. I continued scooping leaves and puzzled the mystery.

I imagined that this was the luckiest frog on the planet. Perhaps it was plucked from another pond by a very hungry hawk and, being slippery, dropped from the sky and fell into our pond. Of course, we live 3 blocks from Lake Michigan (quite a large pond) and it may have hopped the distance, evaded cars, cats, neighborhood children, and just happened upon our backyard body of water. Though, I doubt it. I suppose the merry prankster that dumped the soap might have slipped in the backyard late one night and deposited the frog. I doubt that, too.

A few weeks ago we had a surprise visit by a bat. Bats symbolize rebirth, emergence from the dark into a new way of being. My reading tells me that Frog teaches how to jump with courage into a new endeavor and fully accept the new way of life that comes with it. It is a shamanic symbol, jumping from one level of being to another. In addition, replenishment, nurturing of self, and cleansing of old ways are associated with frog. I couldn’t have a more timely frog visitor!

The two symbols together, bat and frog, are potent affirmations of the path just behind me and powerful harbingers of all the good things to come. Maybe I do not need to solve the mystery of the frog and simply accept the message and the messenger. Maybe I simply need to listen. When confronted with a mystery the Balinese never ask, “Why?” or “How?” – they simply accept that this universe is filled with great magic and mystery and are grateful to participate in the conversation.

[911. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.]

For a humorous look at the wonderful world of innovation and new ventures, check out my new comic strip Fl!p and the gang at Fl!p Comics.

Allow The Laughter

I found a mouse in the washing machine. It startled me and I jumped back, tossing my clothes into the air. When I recovered, I approached the washing machine like it held a Bengal tiger and cautiously peaked into the tub. The mouse had long ago gone to mouse heaven though I poked it with a hanger just to be sure. One cannot be too careful. After shrouding the mouse in a plastic bag and relocating it the trash bin, I laughed heartily at myself. I wondered what I would have done had the mouse been alive. I wondered how I would have liberated it.

Many years ago my dryer broke down and my pal Albert came to take a look at it. Albert is mechanical and has many times fixed things for me. He popped off the back of the dryer and a rat leapt out. Albert screamed and when the fleeing rat rounded the corner and bumped into me, I screamed and did an oh-my-god-a-rat-just-bumped-into-me dance. Luckily, the back screen door was ajar and the rat escaped without my needing to herd it, track it, or capture it. Albert screamed at me, “You could have told me that there was a rat in your dryer!” I screamed, “I didn’t know!” And then we laughed and shivered.

Rodents are not supposed to be in appliances. These two things do not go together and it’s the disjoint from expectation that makes the clothes fly and sparks the silly rat-touched-me dances. A few days ago I sat in the airport and had tons of time to watch people. Airports can be a riot of disjointed expectations. People shout silly things. They do silly this-is-not-what-I-wanted dances. The only thing missing is the laughter.

I imagine children come into this world with an expectation of love. We were all children once and have a bag full of stories of disjointed expectations. I’m learning that, if you can find the laughter, you can see that the mouse was not supposed to be in the washing machine, the parent was not supposed to turn their anger on you, the school was not supposed to stamp your curiosity, the community was supposed to support you and not shame you. And, somehow the mouse got into the machine. So we scream and throw clothes. We get scared and do silly things. It all falls into perspective when we allow the natural laughter that follows the recognition of a broken expectation.

[904. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.]

For a humorous look at the wonderful world of innovation and new ventures, check out my new comic strip Fl!p and the gang at Fl!p Comics.

What Do You Feed Your Mind?

743. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

I found a document in my files labeled, “Prompts.” I opened it to find out what it was. This is what I found:

The mind becomes powerful with language. What we put into it becomes important
Because
In order to create, we start thinking. What do you feed your mind?

Watch your thought. The energy of your thought goes somewhere
So,
Being ‘out of your mind’ takes on a whole new meaning.

A brain opens; thoughts fly free.
Think on that the next time you ask yourself:
“Where did that thought come from?”

I create this perspective so it must also create me.
Don’t you want to know
Where is the outer limit of this thing called “awareness?”

The perspective we choose is the story we tell.
Likewise,
Every thought impacts everyone all the time. It’s a cycle. It’s a ripple. We are constantly in a cycle of re-creation (do you know it?)

“Paradox is hard for the intellect to deal with,”
I said to no one in particular,
“However, Intuition expects paradox.”

The thought that tells me I am stupid is secondary pain,
It follows
After I trip or say the wrong thing (initial pain).

Soul thinks wide and deep thoughts
And does not understand Limitations.
So think soul thoughts and act accordingly.

Fly Back Together

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Lately, I have this image of myself that makes me laugh. I see it in sleep, sometimes while daydreaming, and today I found myself doodling it. It is as surprising as it is welcome. It is one of those images that I did not manufacture; rather it came to me. I see it so often now that I re-run it, enjoy it; I am playing with it.

It is as if I am seeing a film running in reverse, like a jalopy losing pieces all over the road, when seen in reverse, the pieces fly back together. That is the image. I am standing very still in a meadow and all of my pieces are flying back together. I did not realize I’d lost so much along the way!

I giggle when I see this image. Rather, this image is visceral and it tickles – all of those pieces coming together delight me and literally tickle me.

Because inquiring minds want to know and I have one of those inquiring minds, I’ve tried to identify the pieces; I want to know what I dropped on the highway of life. Yet, the moment I pay attention to the individual pieces I lose the image. The tickling stops, the image dissipates. Apparently I am not meant to focus on the fragments; it is the whole that matters.

In class today we talked about the verb “to heal.” It has roots in an old English word, hælen, which meant, “to make whole.” To heal is to make whole. As I close my eyes and see myself standing in the meadow, all of my pieces flying back together, I giggle, arms extended and say to myself, “Welcome home.”

Join The Conspiracy

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As we boarded the plane to Tucson, the flight attendants pulled us aside and in a conspiratorial whisper asked, “Can you help us?” Peaking around the corner, wary that they might be overheard, they shoved a brightly colored package at us and unfolded a piece of paper, a laser print of a photo. The picture was of their co-worker, Diane. “This is what she looks like.” They whispered. “Take a good look. At some point during the flight, will you give her this gift? It’s her birthday.” We nodded as we peaked around the corner, now fully complicit with the surprise. They held up the photo once again and mouthed silently, “Diane.”

As we continued down the aisle we saw her, Diane. Lora leaned forward and whispered, “That’s her! There she is!” We pretended not to stare, acting casual, taking our seats as if we were ordinary passengers. We noticed the eyes of other conspirators, secret carriers of brightly wrapped packages.

Later, in the air, as the beverage cart made its way down the aisle, Diane handed out snacks and passengers handed her presents. There was great laughter with each new revelation. Diane opened her packages in the aisle and showed her new treasure to the giver, her new friends. Later, people rang for the attendant and when Diane came, instead of asking a question or requesting a beverage, they gave Diane her present. The pilot’s voice came over the loud speaker, announcing that it was Diane’s birthday. We knew already and laughed and clapped for her.

Lora whispered, “When should we give her our present?” “Soon!” I responded, looking around to make sure Diane was not within earshot. We had no idea what was in the package, had never met Diane, but now it was “our” present and we were both excited to give it. The moment came when she was collecting trash. Diane leaned forward to gather our used cups and Lora leaned forward and gave her the present. More hilarity. More gratitude. By now, the people on the flight were chatting, the party was in full swing; the flight was a surprise both for Diane and for the passengers.

The line between stranger and friend is so thin. We step over that line when we make the choice to include others as opposed to excluding them. I sat in my seat and watched the generosity of strangers morph into a festival of connectivity; people opened. The capacity for making a day extraordinary is ever-present and so close at hand. It only requires a wee bit of conspiracy to make someone’s day.

Be A Rejuvenation Fairy

527. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

Dear Lisa,

A promise is a promise. Since I learned that your summer was absent of any real and lasting rejuvenation, you’ll remember that I volunteered and made a commitment to invoking rejuvenation on your behalf. Essentially I have dedicated myself to being your rejuvenation fairy.

I will not leave quarters, dimes, or dollars under your pillow – at this stage of the game it would be inappropriate for you to lose teeth to put under your pillow especially for such low rewards. No, my intervention will be more surprise oriented. You might, for instance, note that I spent the evening smearing paint on a very large canvas and then covering the canvas with tissue paper and Mod Podge. This was an invocation event. Therefore, you have, probably by now, experienced an undeniable desire to paint with your fingers; I take no responsibility for the friends, pets, or family members that might get in the way of your sudden imperative to slap Mod Podge on tissue paper with an enormous brush. It was exhilarating for me so I assume, now that the power is turned on, that you will collage electric! Prepare yourself for waves of inspiration that will overtake you for I plan to dance and fling paint like a happy Jackson Pollock (I apologize to Harry ahead of time for what you may do in the grips of your uncontrollable paint throwing to the newly painted walls in your newly painted house). Remember, rejuvenation fairies have a deniability clause in their contract so if you go too far and too fast into renewal you are on your own to explain it. I have never been able to explain it so, even without the clause I’d simply shrug my shoulders and say, “…don’t know.”

It is not beyond me to organize a collection to supply you with Liz dates (the most amazing massage therapist ever) and, as you know, your clan is not beyond kidnapping you and delivering you to Liz (she is formidable so struggling is not recommended). Consider yourself on notice that a rejuvenation kidnap event might happen at any moment. Liz may be warming up; she might already be ready for you.

Here’s the thought to keep in mind: Just like good deeds done in the world are for the benefit of all, just as one member of the community cannot improve themselves without the entire community benefiting, so it goes with rejuvenation. Deplete yourself and we are all depleted. Rejuvenate yourself and we will – each of us – feel the benefit of your brilliant and powerful light. Do it for yourself because you are doing it for us.

With great love and admiration (buckle up),

Your Rejuvenation Fairy.

Nurture Spirits To Fullness

498. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

My relationship with the crows grows stranger every day. This morning as I was leaving the apartment for my morning walk the crows went bonkers. They swarmed to a telephone post at the end of my street and, as I approached, in chorus they insulted my entire ancestry. And then one particularly snide crow swooped me. I knew it had no intention of hitting my head (I’ve learned the signs after so many assaults). Their offensive was so pronounced that Margery stopped and stared. She said, “There must be a fledgling close by. It unnerves me when they get like that.”

I said, “Do they swoop at you, too?” I thought I’d found an ally in crow abuse!

She shook her head, “no.” “Only once,” she replied, “A few years ago. It was unnerving.”

I didn’t tell her that this was a daily occurrence for me. I didn’t tell her that, in fact, it would be odd if the crows actually ignored me. Margery stepped closer to inspect the crows and we struck up a conversation. The crows flew away. I can only imagine that the crows knew I needed to meet Margery. You might say that the crows introduced me to Margery.

She is a retired teacher. She if filled with good humor and hope. She told me about the school she helped start in the 1960’s so that her children might learn and not simply be prepared to man the factory floor. I loved her clarity. She’d spent her life working as an advocate for children, a muse of curiosity. Her enthusiasm was infectious.

She told me of a time that her grandson was struggling. He was 6 years old, his family was falling apart, he was angry and scared and striking out at the world. Margery said, “ He had the good fortune to have an extraordinary teacher; she knew what was happening in his life and so she just loved him. No matter what he did – and he was difficult – she heaped love on him everyday. Now, my grandson is 13 years old and he’s stable and rooted and knows that he is okay. That’s what his teacher did for him. That’s what teaching is about and that’s what we’ve lost in this madhouse we now call education.” She told me that teachers were never meant to deliver content; she said, “Teachers are supposed to nurture spirits into fullness.” I would have applauded but I was afraid it might scare her.

Before we parted ways she told me one final story. This one was about her son. She said, “He was always clear about what he needed and wanted.” Once, while he was in college, she asked him about his course work and a particular class that he loved. The semester had just ended and she wanted to know how he did in the class. He said, “I don’t know.”

She was surprised and responded, “Well, how’d you do on the final?”

He replied, “I didn’t take it.”

“What? Why not?” she asked. She told me he smiled and said, “Mom, I went to school to learn not to prove that I was learning.”

Margery smiled at the memory and said, “That’s the day I knew he was going to be okay. That’s the day I knew he’d do well in the world no matter what.”

She winked and said, “It’s not about passing a test, is it.” I smiled and said, “No, it is most certainly not.”

Truly Powerful People (458)

458.
Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

When the bird shot from behind me, passing just inches above my shoulder and grazing my ear, I was surprised and ducked – a now natural response given my relationship with assassin crows. My trigger response of duck-and-cover when I hear the woosh of wings coming from behind has saved my head a good number of divots; crows treat my noggin like a rookie golfer treats a tee. Crows in argyle socks and sleeveless sweaters! A funny image until you realize that in this metaphor I am the green grass about to be clubbed.

It might not seem too unusual for a finch to fly a sortie by my head except we were inside a building. I opened the door to my apartment and the panicked finch came from nowhere, cleared my shoulder and discovered the tricky thing about glass: sometimes you can’t see it. Once while walking across the Reed College campus, Patti and I were having a particularly passionate conversation. We came to the administration building and as I walked through the open door Patti walked into the glass panel next to it. She was as stunned as the bird. She found herself sitting on the ground, her glasses hitchy-screw on her face, small cartoon stars swirled above her head. Trying to make good of an awkward situation I came back through the door and said, “I didn’t see it either.”

The bird recovered faster than Patti and flew behind the jade plant. Lora was in the apartment and we quickly opened all the windows and balcony door. Not knowing what to do, we did what people do: we stood still and looked at each other. Lora said, “What was that?” I made a face and she said, “I know it’s a bird! Where did it come from?” I didn’t have an answer as I had no idea why a bird was lurking in the inner hall of our apartment building. I wanted to say, “It’s the UPS guy and he just shape-shifted into a bird!” but I didn’t. Sarcasm was not appropriate while the bird was still in the room.

It took two more attempts for the finch to find freedom. We ran about trying to be useful, somehow imagining that we were herding the bird toward an open window. I can only imagine that the newly escaped finch met his pals later at the Finch Bar. Rubbing his sore and battered beak he said, “Damn. The weirdest thing happened to me today.” His drinking pals, always sympathetic, shared a knowing glance, bought their friend another berry drink, and quietly hid his keys.

Truly Powerful People (457)

457.
Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

I’m on the bus with 3 ladies from Wisconsin. They landed in Seattle without a plan and the wrong clothes for the weather we’re having. They came prepared for summer and were not prepared for the cold winds and freezing rain. It has not dampened their spirits. They are on an adventure and the wrong clothes are now part of a big story of stepping off the edge of the farm belt and into a new land called Seattle.

They’re asking me for tips: where to go to buy wool socks, what to do at the Market, how to best get around. Note: they purposefully did not rent a car because they wanted to navigate the city, to ask questions, to bump into people, to get lost; their plan was to step out of easy and into relationship. “People are so friendly here!” they exclaim. I am stunned at their brilliance and realize that the 3 ladies from Wisconsin are actually Midwestern-Buddha-ladies-in-training. They are not from the big city so talking to strangers is, in their rulebook, polite, so they are talking with everyone. The culture of the bus transforms as the usual stone-faced crowd opens and giggles with the Buddha trio.

We hear a harrowing tale of the drunk man that sat at their table the previous evening. “We were having margaritas!” they declare, “But he was too young for us!” and giggle riotously. “But we did ask if we could borrow his car.” They smiled knowingly as the nearest Buddha to me leaned close and whispered, “We didn’t want him to drive home in that condition. Plus, we thought we could stop by the store for supplies on the way.” Then, she winked.

“Do you have a plan for the day?” another rider asks, wanting to join the fun. “NO!” The Buddha trio chime in chorus. “We want to see what the day holds.” Buddha number one affirmed. “We’ll know our plan when the day is done!” added Buddha number two. Buddha number three smiled and announced to the bus: “Isn’t this great!”