Be Like Charlie Brown

601. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

Sometimes I worry myself. Last week I was flying through O’Hare airport. I had a fairly long lay over (and isn’t THAT an interesting term!). I was tired. It was dark outside; in airports during the winter 6:00pm and midnight feel like the same thing, just as in old age homes prunes and iced tea taste the same. It’s odd. So, it was midnight or something. My eyes were fried so I couldn’t read. Besides, I was the kind of tired that, if I lay down during my lay over, I’d wake up and my flight would have left me behind. So I was walking and looking at stuff.

Here’s the part that worries me: I saw a sandwich. I wasn’t hungry but I knew my flight was approximately 5 hours long and I could imagine myself getting hungry before the plane landed. And what if the plane never landed? I should have a sandwich. Here’s more of the part that worries me: at the Airport Fresh food stand, where nothing is really fresh, where I saw the sandwich, the sandwich I saw, the sandwich I chose was sitting all alone. There were others further down the shelf, but this one, this lonely little sandwich, sat all alone. It was too small to compete. The other sandwiches were muscly things wrapped tightly in plastic; they were bursting to get out of their wrappers. My sandwich was the runt of the litter, sliced chicken breast with red bell pepper. It was destined to be an engineer. And since no one was talking to it, since it had been abandoned by the in-crowd, I bought it.

As I walked away from Airport Fresh, I had a realization: I am Charlie Brown! My ghost costume has too many holes! On this day of All Hallows Eve I will get rocks instead of candy in my plastic pumpkin head trick-or-treat candy bucket because I projected a story (my story?) on a lonely sub-standard sandwich that a host of other discerning travelers were wise enough to leave behind. I chose the Christmas tree with few branches and no needles because I thought it needed a home. Or, an alternate narrative: mainstream sandwiches bore me and I am much more interested in the deviants in society. More projection perhaps but one with a healthier turn: I chose that narrative.

After all of that, I will not tell you what horrors I suffered when I actually got hungry on my flight. That sandwich pleaded with me for a long time and I had to explain that it had a purpose to fulfill. And, as difficult as the path might seem now, it would thank me later. It went quietly. So I think – all in all – it was a very worrisome affair. Spooky even. Ghoulish when you consider what happened to that poor lonely sandwich.

Know Your Neighbor

553. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

My inner sociologist awoke with a start. He is a sleepy fellow and enjoys his nap more than most folks. I was crossing the courtyard of the apartment complex next door; it has been my shortcut to the other side of the peninsula for more than a decade, a shortcut that I have taken 5 times a week, every week, for 10 years. I am on a first name basis with the caretaker of the property. Today, as I crossed the courtyard I passed a man on talking on a cell phone. He was angry and shouting at the person on the other end. As I passed he snapped shut his phone and called out to me, “Hey! Do you live here?” I stopped and told him I lived in the apartments next door. He responded, “You’re walking on our sidewalk!” That was the moment my inner sociologist woke up and rubbed his eyes, “Huh? Wha…?” His hair was a mess; nap head.

“These are our sidewalks!” the angry man sneered, “I live here. We have to protect our privacy.”

My inner sociologist rolled his eyes and said, “Why are test cases always so predictable.” I cautioned him to watch, to make no assumptions. I said to the angry man, “My name’s David. I’m your neighbor. I pass this way everyday.” My inner sociologist took out his notepad and a blunt pencil, grudgingly poised to write notes about the encounter.

The angry man opened his phone. He did not dial a number so my inner sociologist wrote, “Avoids eye contact.” While staring at his phone, Angry Man said, “We’ve had a rash of vandalism and have to know who’s on our property.”

I said, “Well, I’ll keep my eyes open for any suspicious characters.” My inner sociologist rolled his eyes and called me a manipulator, taking a note about my less-than-subtle status game.

Still staring at his phone, Angry Man repeated emphatically, “These are our sidewalks,” and turned his back and quickly walked away, disappearing around a corner.

My inner sociologist snapped closed his notepad and sighed with disgust, “You woke me up for this? Another angry person finding things to fear is not worthy of my study! You interrupted my nap for a game of guard-the-sidewalk!”

“It justifies his anger.” I said. “Guarding the sidewalk gives him a sense of power and purpose. Plus, didn’t you see how he used his phone as a place to disappear?” I asked. Isn’t that interesting to you?”

“Old News!” shouted my inner sociologist! “Blame and disappear, blame and disappear! Claiming territory that does not matter – it’s an old song and it bores me. Besides, who’s not hiding inside their technology these days?” he seethed, crawling back onto his couch, adjusting his pillow. “I find it depressing,” he sighed, closing his eyes.

“Well, I thought it was interesting precisely because it is so normal.” I said. “Isn’t his need to mark territory and defend it against his neighbor, me, a possible ally, a potential friend, isn’t that worth studying? Isn’t it worth talking about?” He was already snoring – or making snoring noises so I’d leave him alone. “Well, I think it’s interesting.” I said, slightly wounded, suddenly more aware of the sidewalk than I had been before meeting the Angry Man.

A Word From The Rejuvenation Fairy

550. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

With a puzzled look on his face, Saul the-chi-lantern stopped our tai chi practice in mid form and said, “I have never understood why people willingly engage in activities that deplete them.” We returned his puzzled look with one of our own. He laughed, recognizing that he’d once again given voice to a remnant of thought-trail and although he had the full conversation available in his mind, we only had the bit that leaked out at the end.

“Let me put it to you this way, “ he said, “I used to practice many forms of marshal arts and after most days I would return exhausted, battered and bruised. One day, after returning from a tai chi class, feeling refreshed and invigorated, I asked myself why I wasn’t pursuing refreshed and invigorated all the time?” He paused, deep in a memory before continuing, “I see people everyday choosing to be battered and bruised. They are oriented in their lives thinking they have to kill themselves to achieve something. I don’t know. What is so attractive about killing yourself when you could choose to refresh and renew yourself? It makes no sense to me.” He smiled, adding, “Now that I am 70 years old it makes no sense. What takes so long?”

(note: This message for Lisa goes for all of you. Relax. And mean it; no pretend relaxation. Fairies can see through that stuff.  You never know what a Rejuvenation Fairy will do to support your relaxation and rejuvenation. They can be brutal. Seriously.)

Listen To The Heron

546. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

Janice and Francis appeared with the herons. It is not unusual for a single heron to be fishing the Sound at low tide. I have never seen two herons flying together until this morning.

There is a smallish park wedged between two apartment complexes; it is perfect for my morning Tai Chi because it is lower than the street, shielded by shrubs, and the waters of the Sound lap against the west side. It is quiet. I was midway through the form, deep in a quiet mind, and I heard the croak of a heron. Turning, flying just over me, were two gawky and graceful herons, cutting through the park. When my eyes dropped back to the earth, Janice was standing there with her dog, Francis; she was looking at me as if the herons had interrupted our conversation. From my perspective, she simply appeared.

She said, “Heron’s represent patience.” I was still a bit startled at her appearance so she continued, saying, “I’ve lived here for years and years and I’ve never seen two. Have you? It must be a magical day.”

“Yes,” I said.

As I gave Francis a pet, Janice continued, “I’ve done a lot of reading about heron’s and what they represent. Patience is important and they are also symbolic of the need to passionately pursue what you want and need. They are a very determined bird, very self-reliant.” I smiled when she said “They came right through here… just for you I think.

“I think you are right.” I said, as she bid me a good day and turned, calling Francis. Together they climbed the stair and disappeared.

Breathe A Sigh Of Relief

544. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

Talking with my peers who, like me, identify as young but our conversations are sounding suspiciously like the conversations our parents used to have (“my body hurts…,” “I don’t have the energy for it…,” “We were never like that…”), our topic turned to “young people plugged into their ear buds who seem to be lost in a world of their own.” Good contrarian that I am, I had another point of view on the “young” escapees.

Nobutoshi Kihara developed the Sony Walkman way back in the 1970’s and the catalyst for the technology was to create a way for people to listen to their music without disturbing others. It was an invention born from consideration, a distinctly Japanese idea. Translated to an American consumer it morphed into a way for people to tune out the noise and chaos of contemporary life. I offered this notion to my pals: most of us now live in an urban environment, we can’t walk down the street without advertisements competing for our attention no matter where we turn (a boat is now trolling the Puget Sound beaches pulling a with a billboard…nothing is sacred), our world is plagued by a non-stop political campaign defined by ugly accusations, political parties that are either useless or crazy and certainly no longer interested in compromise or governing, news organizations that gave up their mission decades ago and now believe their job is to entertain (so they shout and organize fights), bankers that no longer serve their communities but instead pillage from them, schools driven by the one thing we know that impedes education (a focus on an outcome instead creating a process of discovery), cops with guns, crooks with guns, moms with guns, an economic machine that needs war to be healthy, terror, terror everywhere,…who wouldn’t want to put in ear buds and play a different soundtrack? I suggested that the sanest people on the street are the ones who are refusing to listen to the noise and instead are at least proactive enough to take care of themselves.

When I asked my pals how much television they watched each day, they grumbled knowing what I was implying. There are many ways to tune out. There are many forms of complacency.

Yesterday I took a short hike on a forest trail and it only took a few minutes for me to get quiet inside. With no one screaming for my attention, with no one screaming at others or honking or emailing or proclaiming, pontificating, threatening, inflating, running to get there, racing to get here, I was amazed at how much I wanted to tune in to my surroundings. I wanted nothing between me and the natural rhythm; my pace slowed, my senses opened and I breathed a deep sigh of relief.

Read To The End

536. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

When I was a kid I was baffled when the characters in children’s fables and stories opened their doors to the wolf. The little pig would peep through the spy hole and the wolf, not cleverly disguised as an old lady, would ask for a cup of sugar. I’d think, “Even I know a wolf when I see it. Don’t open the door!” And the little pig would always open the door. So did Red Riding Hood’s grandmother. “Oh! Another little pig goes down the hatch!” I’d say, closing the book. The pictures were always my favorite part even if the story seemed implausible.

9 months ago I received a letter from the IRS congratulating me on my random selection for an audit. The nice letter told me the audit was for instructional purposes only. “How nice.” I thought until my accountant screamed, “Don’t be like the little pig in the story. This is the wolf at your door.” Oh, how I wish I’d paid attention to the story! What did the pig do when it was eaten? How did the pig emerge whole and happy from the belly of the wolf? I closed the book too soon! I enjoyed the pictures but ignored the lesson. Is there a nice woodsman in my future that will recognize that the large bump in the antagonistic wolf’s belly is me – and cut me out of this dark chamber?

As I sit here in the belly of the wolf I’ve had plenty of time to ponder the national debt and also learn the patterns and practices of my wolf host. I’ve added together the hours my wolf has spent on this audit and have realized the poor thing is truly starving to death: not only has he not found in my meager account any delicious hidden food morsels but the amount of money he may or may not recoup from me will never come close to meeting his enormous energy output. My wolf is losing money, our money. Additionally, every time there is some communication I receive no less than 9 letters, each letter comprised of 3-5 sheets of paper with legalese (single spaced) – each telling me that we’ve communicated – something I already knew; I actually read the first wave and although my inner lawyer was thrilled with so much language used to say almost nothing, I was left wondering how brevity and sense-making escaped the tax collection arm of the government. And, best of all, I now have some concrete suggestions for how to solve our budgetary woes and still maintain social security, medicare, and host of other worthy social programs.

I told my story of woe to my pal Patricia the photographer and she rolled her eyes; she has been engaged in a prolonged battle with her IRS wolf who insists her daughter is not her daughter; she has a birth certificate and dna to back her claim – not to mention a daughter who looks just like her – and yet her audit also continues into perpetuity. Like me she, too, receives 9 letters of of 3-5 single spaced communication affirming that communication has occurred with each communication. How many people-hours does it take to manufacture so many duplicate letters? Artaud could not have written a play this absurd.

Even though I have learned the error of closing the fable book too soon, I’ve gleaned enough to know that the wolf always gets his due in the end (the pictures made that abundantly clear). It is the wolf’s greed and hubris that brings its demise and I take comfort from my dark belly chamber knowing that we must be very close to the inevitable end of this insipid fable.

Get Tired

530. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

It is very late and I am too tired to write. It is a surprisingly yummy feeling to be this tired, to know there are thoughts in there somewhere – some might even be coherent – but the layer of fuzz wrapped around my brain makes the thoughts just slightly out of my reach. There are many paths to illumination and I will dub this route “stupid Zen.” Of course, the problem with stupid Zen is it’s not trustworthy: life is, according to the Balinese, a shadow puppet play. We only see the shadows, the illusion, so riding the horse of exhaustion into the illusion of illumination seems counterproductive.

It is not so much an altered state as much as…a state. In the absence of coherent thought there is no need for alteration. With reason tucked in for the night, thought is more apt to go off the trail and lose itself in the forest. The cool night air, the sound of the waves against the seawall are more available; I am more able to give myself over to the little things which, I know, are really the important things: when I am this tired I can be no where else but here.

I heard this quote today, I can’t remember where, but it just bubbled to the top and I’ve just decided that for sheer tenacity this will be the first verse in the book of stupid Zen:

“I prefer to be wrong, it is so much more interesting than thinking I am right.”

Be A Rejuvenation Fairy

527. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

Dear Lisa,

A promise is a promise. Since I learned that your summer was absent of any real and lasting rejuvenation, you’ll remember that I volunteered and made a commitment to invoking rejuvenation on your behalf. Essentially I have dedicated myself to being your rejuvenation fairy.

I will not leave quarters, dimes, or dollars under your pillow – at this stage of the game it would be inappropriate for you to lose teeth to put under your pillow especially for such low rewards. No, my intervention will be more surprise oriented. You might, for instance, note that I spent the evening smearing paint on a very large canvas and then covering the canvas with tissue paper and Mod Podge. This was an invocation event. Therefore, you have, probably by now, experienced an undeniable desire to paint with your fingers; I take no responsibility for the friends, pets, or family members that might get in the way of your sudden imperative to slap Mod Podge on tissue paper with an enormous brush. It was exhilarating for me so I assume, now that the power is turned on, that you will collage electric! Prepare yourself for waves of inspiration that will overtake you for I plan to dance and fling paint like a happy Jackson Pollock (I apologize to Harry ahead of time for what you may do in the grips of your uncontrollable paint throwing to the newly painted walls in your newly painted house). Remember, rejuvenation fairies have a deniability clause in their contract so if you go too far and too fast into renewal you are on your own to explain it. I have never been able to explain it so, even without the clause I’d simply shrug my shoulders and say, “…don’t know.”

It is not beyond me to organize a collection to supply you with Liz dates (the most amazing massage therapist ever) and, as you know, your clan is not beyond kidnapping you and delivering you to Liz (she is formidable so struggling is not recommended). Consider yourself on notice that a rejuvenation kidnap event might happen at any moment. Liz may be warming up; she might already be ready for you.

Here’s the thought to keep in mind: Just like good deeds done in the world are for the benefit of all, just as one member of the community cannot improve themselves without the entire community benefiting, so it goes with rejuvenation. Deplete yourself and we are all depleted. Rejuvenate yourself and we will – each of us – feel the benefit of your brilliant and powerful light. Do it for yourself because you are doing it for us.

With great love and admiration (buckle up),

Your Rejuvenation Fairy.

Look At Your Labels

523. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

The first time I stepped over a person sleeping on the street I was horrified. I grew up in the burbs; if someone was collapsed on the street it meant they needed help. It was early in the morning, my first day in San Francisco. I was 22 years old. I rushed to the man laying on the cement and my friend Roger grabbed my arm, “Keep walking,’ he said, “There’s nothing you can do.” I stepped over the man and kept walking. It was unnatural. I didn’t believe that there was nothing to be done. And, I kept walking. Roger was quick to point out the people asleep in doorways, on benches, beneath cardboard,…; once my eyes were opened I saw people scattered all over the city, hundreds of people asleep on the street. It was as if an earthquake hit the city and its residents were afraid to go back into their homes. “What happened?” I asked. “Reagan cut funding for the shelters,” Roger said. “The economy sucks.” Even then those answers seemed too simplistic, completely void of responsibility.

This is how we learn the rules of community.

That was 1983. Today I walked by the courthouse in downtown Seattle. The park next to the courthouse was like a refugee camp. Every park bench served to support makeshift cardboard shelters. People slept beneath every tree and formed a line adjacent to the fences. Sleeping during the day is necessary if you have no home to return to at night. For a moment I thought it was a performance art piece, the actors having placed themselves on the ground in an orderly composition. They were so still. I felt no horror and had no impulse to help. Instead, I was more concerned with looking at them for too long; I am not supposed to notice. I am a man of my times and have internalized the rules of community.

Earlier in the day I’d read a passage about Marshal McLuhan: he wrote of the human tendency to dismiss an idea or experience by naming it. He called it “label-libel.” Attach the right label to it and you needn’t think about it any more.

“Homeless,” I said, feeling nothing. “The economy sucks,” I intoned. “Nothing to be done,” I whispered, wishing for the days when I had access to my horror.

[I’m be on the road and taking a break so I’m dipping into the archives and reworking and reposting some of your favorites. I’ll be back at it in the middle of August]

Set A Thought Trap

514. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

I am a master of writing myself notes. I fill multiple notebooks every year. They are choked full of excited scribbles, enthusiastic lines and arrows, doodles and stars: all attempts to catch my thoughts before I lose them. Thoughts are slippery devils that jump into my path and then disappear while I look for a pencil.

I have a variety of strategies to capture them. I track them through the dense forest of my mind. Sometimes I set traps for them. I dig tiger pits. I have sexy decoys and have learned mating calls: an evasive thought like “the default story” will come out of hiding when I tempt it with the amorous cry of “the necessary action.” Easy prey!

Of course, there is a serious flaw in my thought-hunting prowess. Open any notebook in my stack, flip to a random page, point to any note and ask me what it means. I will stare at the excited scribble – often a terrific phrase, perhaps useful for a line of poetry, but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was supposed to cue for me. What was the revelation, the connection, the greater ah-ha?

Even when captured those trickster thoughts leave a small alphabetic footprint, a cryptic mark and somehow the greater meaning slips away.

[I’m be on the road and taking a break so I’m dipping into the archives and reworking and reposting some of your favorites. I’ll be back at it in the middle of August]