Truly Powerful People (289)

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Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

My family had a tradition after opening gifts on Christmas morning. We’d pile together in a wrapping paper food fight and pelt each other with paper wads, tackle each other, bury each other in the tissue, ribbons, wrappings and boxes. Exhausted and exhilarated, with our bow-festooned heads poking out of the pile, we’d take a picture. We’d laugh and throw the paper again. We’d dog pile my father, my mother shouting, “Don’t hurt your father!”

This many years later I barely remember the gifts I was given or the stuff that I thought was so important to give, but I remember in vivid detail the paper throwing bacchanalia, the play and abandon in the celebration of our love for each other, the joy of having parents and brothers and a sister. Now, I like to think that the gift-giving part of the process was necessary only to generate the paper to throw.

Once, while spending the holiday at my sister’s home, I heard her shouting to her children as they piled onto my brother-in-law, “Don’t hurt your father!” All grown up now, my nieces and nephews carry on the tradition with their children.

Our rituals reveal the truth of us. I hope your rituals leave you laughing and yearning for more time with the people you love.

Truly Powerful People (288)

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Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

You make sense of the world from a specific point of view. In this sense, a judgment is like an anchor. It is where you decide to harbor your ship and from this position you will then tell yourself the story of yourself and the world. The story you tell is spun from where you have decided to drop your anchor, not the other way around. To change your story you have to become aware of the anchors you drop.

Where have you dropped anchor?

Truly Powerful People (287)

287.
Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

Ana-the-wise and I talked this morning about the return of the light. Literally and metaphorically. The return of the light used to be the meaning-of-the-season! The sun’s march into the darkest day, the winter solstice, was a sacred time. The disappearance of the sun, the life-giver; what could be more profound? And then, instead of disappearing, the sun returns! What could be more worthy of celebrating?

In archetypal terms the return of the sun is understood as the birth of the inner child. In metaphor, the birth of the child is the birth of your consciousness. I suppose, technically, it is the rebirth of the consciousness since it happens in a cycle, again and again and again. Each year we have the opportunity to celebrate the expansion of consciousness – the return of the sun, the birth of the inner child – and in some places on the planet the expansion of consciousness is still understood as having a spiritual life. Everyone is living a spiritual life.

The return of the sun happens outside of you; the return of the sun happens inside of you. Imagine what you might be doing if you still felt a deep connection to the sun, as if what you did actually had some influence over the sun’s return! And then consider this: people worship the literal return of the sun because it mirrors the inner return; they feel connected: no separation. With no separation between inner sun and outer sun it is the birth of the inner child, the expansion of consciousness that they see in the sun’s return.

It turns out that what you do and what you think actually does matter! It turns out that you have an enormous impact on the return of the sun (whether you know it or not…and isn’t the point for you to recognize it).

Truly Powerful People (286)

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Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

Here are snippets of thoughts, notes from the margins of my notebooks. They are thought fragments (I call them thought-frags. “What’s this scribbled in the corner? Oh, it’s a thought-frag.”). Thought-frags are seeds. Most I forget but some are planted and turn into full-blown ideas or become connective tissue for bigger frags. Some are quotes I hear (I used to hide my scribbles when I heard a great quote. Now, I announce it. I say, “That was great, can I borrow a pen?”). Here’s a frag sampler; some of these have shown up in posts already:

“I have been seeking liberation from others, from systems and from society, when what I really wanted was liberation from myself.” anonymous

Ask yourself these questions: are you entering the relationship in order to get something? Are you entering the relationship in order to bring something? Or, asked another way, Are you bringing energy to the relationship or are you taking energy from it?

To control is to hide (advice to an actor).

Controlling requires you to constantly pour your energy into negotiating shifting boundaries instead of pursuing your intentions. This is as true in business as it is in an individual life.

Where are you pouring your energy: into what you want to create or into boundary negotiations? (a question to myself that made me mad. Guess what I discovered?).

Power-over-others has nothing do with Power and everything to do with Control. We’ve confused Control of others with Power.

Catch your thought-frags. It is infinitely worth it to be scribble-ready at a moments notice. And don’t be afraid to ask for a pen.

Truly Powerful People (285)

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Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

In your story, the-story-that-you-tell-yourself-about-yourself, your have an underlying force or impulse that drives you. I call this your Root Story. Alan Seale calls it your Soul Mission. Many traditions identify it as a Calling. You might understand it as your Role-in-Life. Have you given a name to what is yours to do?

Everyone has a Root Story, a Soul Mission. Everyone has a Calling, a Role to play in the health of their society and the greater world. It is common to be confused about what it is and even more common to know it but to fear it, hide it, or deny it. Sometimes we know it and want it to be something else.

When we embrace our Root Story, take off the reins and let it run, we step into our power. Actually, it is more appropriate to say that power steps into us. Power is available to us all the time but like a river we place dams on it and interrupt its flow. We tell ourselves that the dams are there for power generation but in truth the dams are not about power at all; they are mechanisms for control. The dams are the things we try to control but can’t – like other people’s perceptions The dams are the fear stories we whip up, “What will happen to me if I am seen, heard, or not understood?” The dams are there when you find yourself playing small so as not to draw too much attention.

This world needs less dams and more powerful people. Name your Root Story, own what is yours to do. And then enjoy blowing up all those dams!

Truly Powerful People (284)

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Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

I look forward to my conversations with Joe. He thinks about interesting things. He wrestles with titanic questions. Today we were talking about how I intend to best serve people through this meditation on power and he asked me this question:

If truly powerful people are dedicated to inspiring true power in others, if empowered people empower others, what is power used for? Is it to create a better world, to create personal fulfillment, what is power for?

Earlier this weekend I had a conversation with Duncan. He is a composer and is wrestling with all the questions that come with being an artist in a consumer society. He asked a question not unlike Joe’s question: what is art for?

It is the holidays and I’m reconnecting with some people that I’ve not talked with since this time last year. We’re condensing a year’s worth of life into a phone call. We’re catching up. This has been a year with many deaths; death of a parent, a spouse, a friend. Twice in these conversations I’ve heard this phrase: “It makes me wonder what my life is about.” What is life for?

I have many different responses to these questions about power and art and life and my responses depend upon the circumstances and my intentions. There is not one answer. One of my lessons from Bali was that the way a question is asked reveals the consciousness of the asker: I saw things there that I will never be able to explain and repeatedly asked my guide, “What was that for?” or “Why?” He would always smile; a Balinese rarely asks “why” in the face of a mystery, they dance with the mystery because they know they are part of the mystery. Budi would say, “There is no why. There is no what for.” And then he would laugh.

The question, “What is if for?” reveals the belief of separation: power, art, and life are resources to be used, love is something you find instead of something you are.

Power, art, life, and love are for helping you realize that alone we are meaning seekers; together we are power, art, life and love.

Truly Powerful People (283)

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Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

I seem to be having significant experiences in coffee houses these days. Today I was at the Uptown in West Seattle writing about Seeing and Focus Placement. Nearby sat a group of elderly woman having a serious yet laughter-filled conversation about their experiences of the divine. They were talking about what they worship and what they’ve learned about the focus of their worship (it was the word “focus” that caught my attention). One of the women said this phrase and I lurched for my pen to catch it word for word. She said, “The more you try to describe God the smaller you make God. I find it less and less important to even try. Why would I try to squeeze God into a box?”

I loved that question. Why would I squeeze God into a box?” I quickly did a Meister Eckhart Google search for a quote. I didn’t find the quote that I was looking for but this one serves the turn just as well: he said, “The eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me; my eye and God’s eye are one eye, one seeing, one knowing, one love.”

Your eyes are the eyes of the divine. So, the question is equally apt when I ask it this way: “Why would you squeeze your self into a box?” The more you try to label yourself, the smaller you will make yourself. You are infinitely complex. You are infinitely creative. You will only fit into a box that you create for yourself.

Truly Powerful People (282)

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Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

This is my favorite revelation of the week. It comes from a friend who has for the past several years been doing big work on herself. Like all big shifts of perception it sounds so simple but is hard to embody. I’m beginning to understand that most revelations do not come with fireworks and a brass band; they are subtle. They are simple because they’ve been there all along and we just did not see them. They slip in with little fanfare, like removing your sunglasses.

This is how she said it: I’ve learned to be in the chaos without buying into the chaos. See, no fanfare. And, if you are truly underwhelmed, ask yourself when was the last time you resisted, defended, justified, needed to be right, fought for others to see what you see, needed approval, bought into the notion of perfection, or any of a thousand other ways you buy into the chaos. Are you anxious, afraid, motivated by what you fear or do not want, in survival mode, or certain that the universe is throwing obstacles in your way? Chaos, chaos, chaos.

Can you imagine what it might mean in your life to be able to stand solidly in the chaos without needing to control it, contain it, or deny it? Can you be present without needing to manipulate or force anything or anyone yet say without inhibition exactly what you need (it’s not the need that matters, it is how you fill it that defines you).

Reread the first part of her statement: I’ve learned to be. Her focus shifted. The earth did not shake, the clouds did not part, no ascension or angels or twenty-one gun salute. Her focus shifted, she realized choices are creative acts and instead of being caught in the whirlpool, it swirls around her.

What could you buy if you stopped investing in chaos?

Truly Powerful People (281)

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I’m wiling away an hour in the Muse Coffee house. The place is mostly deserted so the barista and I are having a sporadic chat between customers. He looks tired and I told him so. He smiled a knowing smile and told me that he was a new father and there wasn’t much sleeping going on in his house. I closed my computer and he came from behind the counter and sat with me at my table.

I asked him what it felt like to be a dad and he said, “You know.” I told him that, actually I don’t know. I don’t have any children. I am a sometime uncle – I rarely see my nieces and nephews as they are spread out across the country. He sat back in his chair and stared at me for a moment and said, “I thought so many other things were important. Really important. And then I became a father and nothing else matters. Nothing. Not even sleep.” We laughed. His eyes beamed and filled with tears; this young man that I did not know until 20 minutes ago, a man I’d never seen prior to walking into Muse, allowed himself a vulnerability that he probably hasn’t allowed himself in years. He said, “Life is an amazing thing,” he said, wiping his eyes.

Yes. It is.

Truly Powerful People (280)

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Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

The mantra goes like this: control your controllables and let the rest go.

It is deceptive. There is something in the phrase that often leads to a mistake: believing that “letting the rest go” is the same as “control the controllable.” It is a trap with the pull of gravity; all who pass this way find themselves muttering under their breath, “Yeah, but look at all the stuff I let go! How did I get here again?”

When you begin living in choice you begin the work of controlling the controllable and letting the rest go. Drawing a line between what you can control (what you see, what you think, what you feel, what you perceive) and what you can’t control (What other people see, think, feel, and perceive) is the first step. Letting go of what you can’t control is first part; it is the easy part and often that’s where people stop. They release what they can’t control but stop short of owning what they can control. The transformation happens when you create new thought patterns, when you offer your great gift because it is your offer, not because you might get something from the giving, not because it might or might not bring acceptance from others. The old habits and patterns will remain intact regardless of the illusion of control that you let go. If new patterns of thinking and seeing aren’t created, then the old enabling behaviors will reassert themselves.

Doing the work of controlling the controllable is when transformation occurs. It is when you really learn that you are creating yourself through your thoughts in this moment, and in this moment, and in this moment,….