Story | The Direction of Intention

Continue Yourself

Posted on August 29, 2012 by davidrobinsoncreative

538. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

In his TED talk, film director Shekhar Kaper said, “Without a story you do not exist.” It is such a simple phrase and yet flip it over and you glimpse the enormity of his implication: To exist is to story (my apologies to Horatio, I am using the word “story” as a verb). Some folks laugh when I suggest that if they would change their story they would change their world. “Pie in the sky!” they exclaim. They are still under the illusion that their thoughts are facts or truth or somehow happening to them. What I appreciate about Shekhar Kaper’s sentiment, what is implicit in it, is that the story you tell largely determines how you exist because the story you tell defines how you relate. Many years ago I worked with a woman who storied herself as a fraud and that made her peers and co-workers dangerous to her. Hiding was her major action. She fired people that got a peak behind the curtain. Hell is not some place you go after death when you’ve been particularly rotten, hell is what you live when you story yourself a fraud, or deficient, or needing to be perfect. The Greeks personified the monkey mind: when your thoughts were particularly tortuous they believed the Furies possessed you.

Organizations are particularly blind to their story. They are keen to have a vision statement but reticent to compare the vision to their day-to-day choices. A vision statement is a story of aspiration. Actions are a lived form of story (we act according to our story); to compare the story we intend with the story we live is usually bracing. It is also revealing and that is why the comparison is so often ignored. Organizations, like people, become healthy when they close the gap between what they intend and how they act. To thrive is requires a fundamentally different narrative than to survive. The language of thriving is very different than the language of survival.

Another phrase, I believe this one came from cartoonist Scott McCloud (don’t hold me to that – it could be from Joseph Campbell. I took too many notes on the page and they ran together): “We tell story to continue ourselves.” It is a variation on the first quote with this important addition: it acknowledges that our stories outlive us. We live into the future through the stories we inspire. I have been especially aware this week of this aspect of story as we prepare for Margaret’s memorial. We are telling and hearing many stories about her and how she lived. She lives on in our narrative; she is a vital part of our story and through our telling we weave her story into the ancestral quilt.

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Old Meets New

Posted on August 16, 2012 by davidrobinsoncreative

525. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

I believe we are living in a time when THE OLD STORY is colliding mightily with THE NEW REALITY. It is an opportunity for change but like most times of great potential change, we hold on with white knuckles to THE OLD STORY. Change is frightening precisely because it is unknown. It is easier to hold onto the monkey bar than it is to fly toward the next place. Our circumstance is dire because the pace of change is blistering so the immensity of the denial necessary to maintain THE OLD STORY is…profound.

As Marshal McLuhan wrote, we humans are great at stepping into the future with our eyes in the rearview mirror. It’s as if we live life in a rowboat, pulling for a future with our backs to where we are going. The occasional glances over the shoulder help us spot a destination but our eyes are fixed on the shore from which we came. Safety lives on the shore behind us (we think).

As Roger once said, “I believe among a human beings greatest capacities is the capacity for denial.” Denial often looks like this: “Things are okay just as they are,” “I wish we could return to the good old days,” “Let’s get back to basics, return to our values, do what we know works.” Just listen to our education, political, and economic conversations! Denial also likes to think that things are happening to us; waking up is simply the acknowledgment that we are the creators of the story.

[I’m be on the road and taking a break so I’m dipping into the archives and reworking and reposting some of your favorites. I’ll be back at it in the middle of August]

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Ask A Simple Question

Posted on August 15, 2012 by davidrobinsoncreative

524. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

I have initiated a new practice in my life. This summer was very difficult, perhaps the most difficult stretch of my life, and I fell into some old patterns and wandered through some deep dark valleys so a new practice was necessary.

Here’s the practice: When I wake up, before my feet hit the floor, I ask myself this question: what do I want to bring to this day?

It seems like a simple question until you consider the possible responses. Do I want to bring anger to this day? Anxiety? Do I want to infuse this day with despair? Shall I bring a big dose of depression? How about investing in blame? That is always a salty sweet snack! Those possibilities do not exist outside of me. They are mine to choose or not.

I’ve been amused by the answer that has been the most dynamic, most interesting and vital to climbing out of the trenches: I want to bring my curiosity, every last bit of it. I want to bring all of my inquisitiveness, 100% of my capacity to not know. That’s it. That is my choice for what I want to bring to my day. You’d be amazed at the difference in the world I see since deciding to bring curiosity instead of my resistance.

I am reminded of two things each morning as I ask myself this question: 1) choices of significance always come down to matters of my being and have very little to do with aspects of my doing, and 2) I may or may not have choice in my circumstance (things happen) but I have infinite choice about who I am within my circumstance.

[I’m be on the road and taking a break so I’m dipping into the archives and reworking and reposting some of your favorites. I’ll be back at it in the middle of August]

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How Are You Filling Your Cup?

Posted on August 8, 2012 by davidrobinsoncreative

517. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

It’s an odd image but go with me. Lately I’ve been looking at people as if they were empty cups that fill themselves according to the story that they tell. For instance, yesterday I watched a man fill himself with angst and frustration. He stood in front of a photograph muttering, “I could never do that!” I watched as his body began filling with frustrations; it began to rise from his toes, filling his legs and his belly, seeping up into his heart, clogging his voice and drowning his brain in a thick liquid, “I can’t.” His story thwarted completely his desire to be a photographer. What liquid story might have filled his cup had his story been, “Cool! I’m going to learn how to do that?”

According to the research 90% of what runs through your mind is the same stuff that ran through it yesterday. The story you tell yourself is on a loop. The story you tell yourself comes from a specific point of view. I don’t need the research to know that I tell myself the same story loop each day from the same point of view. Consider, for instance, if you assume the universe is against you, your cup will fill with a story of resistance, hard luck, and victimization; no matter what you do, the universe is against you. Every traffic jam, every paper cut will reinforce your story and keep your cup filled with liquid negativity. And, you will fill every relationship, every choice and opportunity, with the negative liquid in your cup because that is what you bring to the party.

I don’t know about you but if 90% of what runs through my mind is the same stuff then I might as well tell a story of opportunity, choice, and support. I’m seeing others as story-cups because I feel within myself how easily I can fill up with anger or blame. “Look how I just filled myself,” has become an awareness tool, a mantra as I literally fill myself with a story of poison or a story of pleasure. Either way, it is my choice and that is the point. I have choice about the story I tell. I have choice about the point of view from which I tell the story. I have choice about where I place my focus: what I choose to see, to emphasize…I choose how I interpret every experience.

How are you filling your cup?

[I’m be on the road and taking a break so I’m dipping into the archives and reworking and reposting some of your favorites. I’ll be back at it in the middle of August]

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What Do You See?

Posted on August 1, 2012 by davidrobinsoncreative

510. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

The number one reason for understanding the power and impact of the-story-you-tell-yourself-about-yourself-and-the-world is (drum roll, please): We see what we believe, not the other way around. And what we believe is a story. If you have ever wondered why there is so much shouting on the airwaves (masked as “news”) these days you might consider that your belief is the rope in an ideological tug of war: if the shouters can get you to believe it you will most certainly see it – and if you see it you will call it truth.

After we believe the story we tell, we commence a search of the world for the data (proof) that supports our belief. Tell the story of a scary world that is a dangerous place and you will see plenty of supporting evidence. Tell the story of never having enough and lack will be ever-present. Tell yourself that people are generous and kind and you will find them in every grocery store, office complex, and on every street corner.

In this sense, truth is relative. What is true for you is not necessarily true for others. Like you, others are scouring the world for proof that what they believe is true. Everyone is telling a story. Each story is beautiful, relevant, and unique to the teller and so they assume it is truth for all because it is truth for them. If it is normal for me it must be normal for you….

What binds us is not a single truth but our capacity to story ourselves.

The difficulty is not in multiple truths, multiple stories; the challenge arises when there is the expectation of one story – one truth. When I believe that your truth must match my truth, that my truth is the only way and yours is inferior, that I must convert you to my truth, then we are on an untenable path. With the expectation of one truth we step into the dark woods and get lost.

There are many ways – as many as there are people on the planet. There are many truths because there are many stories. If there is a single story it is that between birth and death we will make sense of our experiences and we will do that through a process of story creation in our active search for proof that supports what we believe.

[I’m be on the road and taking a break so I’m dipping into the archives and reworking and reposting some of your favorites. I’ll be back at it in the middle of August]

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Story Yourself Strong

Posted on July 30, 2012 by davidrobinsoncreative

508. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

I was sitting in Muse waiting for Elizabeth and listening to the conversations all around me. Most were focused on what was wrong. Most were steeped in what was missing. It was a lack-fest.

Brendon Burchard teaches people in business that stories of struggle are more effective than stories of success because people will more readily identify with the struggle. Stories of success put people off. They don’t want to hear about your victories; they will buy your stuff if you identify with their pain. Doesn’t that speak volumes!

So try this experiment: Identify your strengths. Stop and consider what you do well. Focus on what you love to do? Make a list of what you love to do and what you believe are your gifts. Make a list of your strengths. Enjoy it. Brag to yourself. Relish it. Try it.

Then, ask this question: Is it possible to identify your strengths separate from your needs? Make another list of the things you think you need. Embellish this list; have fun with it just like you did in making your list of strengths.

Compare your list of needs with your list of strengths.

Now, throw away your list of needs. The odds are good that this list dominates most of your time and focus so toss it. You can dig it out of the trash later.

It is useful, creative and productive (not to mention generative) to focus on your gifts and build upon your strengths. If you want to create something new, your strengths will help you. Placing your focus on your needs will generally lead to lots of excuses.

Bring your strengths to the party. They are far more interesting than what you think you need.

[I’m be on the road and taking a break so I’m dipping into the archives and reworking and reposting some of your favorites. I’ll be back at it in the middle of August]

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Mind Your Metaphors

Posted on July 27, 2012 by davidrobinsoncreative

505. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

Alan and I just facilitated a forum on transformational leadership coaching. We worked with the importance of language and metaphor and I was reminded why I believe all change begins with a change in language. To change your language is to change your story. To change your story is to change what you see and experience – it is to change your world.

Language is metaphoric. Language is always referential to experience; language is not the experience, it is the interpretation of the experience. How you story your experience – the language that you use to define yourself – gives meaning to your world. Language is much more powerful than we understand!

You create your world through the story you tell. Your metaphors reveal the story you tell.

Ask yourself what is the difference between “problem solving” and “working with potential?” Are you “fixing” yourself or “creating” the life you desire? Are you “blocked” or “empty” or “jazzed” or “on fire?” Are you “enough” or “authentic” or “present?” Have you “arrived?” Is your life “broken into compartments” or is there “flow?” Have you “fulfilled your potential,” “given away the farm,” or are you “seeking clarity?”

Are you still in doubt about who defines you? Who tells your story if not you?

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Bring Back The Boon

Posted on July 24, 2012 by davidrobinsoncreative

502. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

One of the things I most appreciate about stories is this: all stories are about transformation and usually the transformation is about the change in the inner life of an individual. But, individual transformation is hollow until the boon is brought back to the community. It only seems that we live for our own betterment. None of us lives in a vacuum. All of us need to contribute or we wither. This was Scrooge’s recognition. Frodo returned the ring to the fire to save the Shire. He was changed in the journey and so the Shire was also changed.

Greater self-knowledge impacts the lives of everyone in the community. Personal growth, deeper self-knowledge, sends a ripple through the society. We rarely see or understand the full impact of our lives on others because the ripple does not stop. My mentor, Tom, had a mentor, Demarcus, who had a mentor…. Understanding the impact of a single life on the world, across time, is one of the purposes of story. Who might you become if you recognized that you mattered, that fulfilling your potential serves the fulfillment of potential in others far beyond your capacity to see. Blunting yourself serves only to blunt others, too; we all lose.

When we step toward our fear and face our bear, we face it for ourselves and for everybody we know. And our stories of facing the bear serves to help others face their bear when their time comes. And their story helps others face their bear…

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Fly Like Lucy

Posted on July 23, 2012 by davidrobinsoncreative

501. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

About 6 years ago I wrote and illustrated a children’s book entitled, Lucy & The Waterfox. It is about a fox with a natural capacity to fly. She keeps her flights of fancy secret because she knows her pack-mates will not understand. And she is right. When they discover her ability to fly they shame her; they convince her there is something wrong with her. She stops flying and starts withering. The rest of the story is about reclaiming her natural gifts. By the end of the book, Lucy soars without apology. She flies because she can.

Like us, Lucy has a desire to belong. As Catherine once told me, “Sometimes a talent can hold you hostage. It separates us from the pack. It conflicts with the necessity of belonging.” As creative tensions go, Catherine described the mother lode. I work with so many people who have squelched their natural gifts in exchange for acceptance. I’ve done it. And, like Lucy, it is the path of withering. Cut off your gifts, diminish your offer, and you will put a kink your life force.

Of course, Lucy’s story is universal. The tension between belonging and expressing your nature is a pull that every human being feels. W.B Yeats called this tension the right hand path and the left hand path. Do what society expects of you and you are walking the right hand path. Follow your nature, separate from the crowd and you are on the left hand path. The trick is always integration; finding the middle way. That is the grail path.

Catherine also recently sent me a reminder that the entire story depends upon where we place our focus. We can be surrounded by supporters and only see the critics. We can have one foot on the left hand path and only see the limitations. She reminded me to “Just fly! Be true to your range of gifts and abilities and just do it.” Good advice from my dear Catherine who, in this story, just became my Waterfox.

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Think Twice Before Parking

Posted on July 18, 2012 by davidrobinsoncreative

496. Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

Years ago I consulted with some financial guys. They wanted to know about story. They wanted to know how to tell a better story. Before I could teach them about story I needed to know the story they were currently telling. My friends call me a “circular” thinker so I imagine outside eyes would have seen a brilliant comedy routine: several “linear” financial thinkers trying to squeeze my circular mind through their two-dimensional picture. I knit my brows so many times they were bruised. When I am older I will have deep furrows cut in the field of my forehead from that difficult day.
Although I had to squeeze my thoughts across the chasm I was able to finally grasp their story. Here’s what I learned: Money needs to move to grow. Our entire system is designed to entice the average Joe to “park” their money in a bank or a 401k or an insurance product. Most of us still imagine that our money goes into an impenetrable vault; the money goes into the vault and is safe, secure and the nice banker/broker will pay us a tiny percentage to keep our money parked in their vault. That image is a carefully crafted illusion to make us feel secure and grateful for the return on our parking job.

Their job is to make the money move. And they make it move a lot. There isn’t a vault, there is no parking lot; there’s a racetrack. They make the money make lots and lots of money because it never sits still. They will make your money grow 7 to 10 times larger than the amount you parked in their lot-illusion. But wait, there’s more: even it they lose the money they have a fail-safe built into the program; it’s not their money being lost, it’s yours. They were very serious when they said to me, “You never work with your own money.”

Here’s the core of their story, the story beneath the story. It is finance 101: their job is to keep you and me on one side of the debt line (we pay the interest) with them on the other side of the debt line (they receive the interest). They need to create debt for us to pay (think credit card, mortgage, student loan). As they said, “Debt is not a bad thing, it just depends upon which side of the debt you are standing.” That’s why crashes like the 2008 disaster made money, lots and lots of money for some well positioned financial guys: They created lots of good debt and it wasn’t their life savings that they gambled away. They play a game in which they win either way and, in the story they told me, are careful not to consider the consequences for others.

I was not much help that day. I couldn’t get over the notion that it was not a better story that they needed but a better intention, perhaps a bigger conscience, or maybe even a better understanding of the word community.

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