Truly Powerful People (394)

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Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

My grandmother grew up in a gold mining camp in the mountains of Colorado. There is a wonderful picture of her as a young girl, riding a mule, dressed in overalls and a straw hat, a female Huck Finn. In her lifetime she experienced the advent of electric light, flush toilets, hot water on demand from a faucet, and central heat. She saw two world wars – each the war to end all wars that, ironically, gave birth to the war industry. She lived the mind bender that came with the atom bomb. Airplanes took flight, automobiles took over, and she saw a man step on the moon. Hearts became transplant-able, credit was forever associated with a plastic card, food became fast, ovens could microwave and salad could be found at a bar. Serve yourself.

Once, she hid an old horse in her kitchen because the truck from the rendering plant was trolling her neighborhood. She lived near Pearl Harbor on that day of infamy. She out-lived two of her children. She was a tiny woman who technically could not ride some of the rides at the carnival (she was shorter than the clown) but no one stood in her way. She taught me that formidable had nothing to do with size.

I once half-joked that if the world came to an end the one thing I wanted to guarantee my survival was my grandmother’s purse. It was shaped like a punching bag and was a bottomless source of food, bandages, water, rain gear, tools, utensils, maps, wire, string, duct tape, clothing, shelter and toys. Her purse was something out of Harry Potter: pure magic.

She drove an orange Volkswagen bug and was not above tying her wet clothes to the antenna to dry as she drove to the next adventure. She could barely see over the steering wheel. Once, in her little bug we were surrounded by a herd of buffalo and although I initially tended toward terror it was her laughter that defined the experience for me. It is her laughter that I most remember about her. It was her laughter that carried her through.

Everyone lives a big life story and few know it so adept are we at reducing our lives to the mundane. So gifted are we at not noticing the extraordinary in the day-to-day ordinary of our lives. She was not a movie star, she never won a Nobel prize or took the blue ribbon at the fair. She worked a mind-numbing job on the line at a candy plant and achieved almost nothing that this world might recognize as valuable. However, she lived every moment of her time, she never once lost sight her glorious life. She walked a beautiful life. How’s that for a legacy!

Truly Powerful People (388)

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Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

Kicking back on the hood of her car, gazing at the stars, Megan said, “Now, there is something I can worship.” The sky is so big in Nebraska that it is almost impossible not to fall into it and I had the feeling we’d been falling into this moment, this place and time for a lifetime. How many people before us have looked into the sky on a still quiet night and felt the enormity of their universe and the quiet intensity of being alive for the few turns of the earth that we have together? It is a gift to bear witness and story it into existence. Sky gazing opens us to the mystery and isn’t that the purpose of worship?

Earlier in the day Megan, Jill and I stood in the Platte River. We’d come to see the cranes. Megan said, “I always wonder where this water has come from; how far has it traveled to be here?” We immediately put our hands in the water to feel it – not just any water but this water that traveled this way at this moment, the same moment we decided to wade into the river. Little did we know that soon we’d be covering ourselves with mud to incite stories from kindergarteners, Jill’s inspiration. As I stood in the back of a classroom watching these incredible mud covered women listen with rapt attention to small people telling stories of bear hunts and being shot from a cannon into a mud pie I felt like the water having traveled so far and was grateful for the hands that reached into the river to touch my life at just the right moment.

Sitting on the hood of a mini-van parked far beyond the city lights on the spinning earth with a brilliant half moon slowly circling around us, coyotes howling far in the distance, cranes by the thousands sleeping beyond the fields, clock time was no where to be found. I marveled at the currents that brought me here to this place and this moment and thought, “This is what it feels like to worship. Isn’t it amazing to be alive?”

Truly Powerful People (380)

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Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

Ana-the-Wise and I talked of being neutral. She tells me that love is neutral. When I think of being neutral I think of scuba diving. The first and last lesson in diving is how to be neutrally buoyant. When you are neutrally buoyant, there is no resistance, you quite literally hover, neither sinking nor rising; movement in balance with the element, as the element. Your breathing slows, your awareness opens, you are present within the ocean of your life.

Both Ana and I are soon walking into potentially charged situations and that is why we were talking of neutrality. We spoke of not investing in the story or the circumstance; we talked of not investing in the fear or the angst. Being neutral is a practice. In Tai Chi, the master often asks, “How are your feet placed on the floor?” If your feet are properly on the floor, all the other relationships take care of themselves. Proper placement of your feet brings neutrality, balance, and alignment.

It is not detachment as much as non-attachment. There’s a big difference! Ana said, “When I think I need to change someone or make them see my way or help them see their opportunities, then I get hooked.” To be hooked is to attach to the story, to invest in being right. It’s a tiger trap that all of us step into: every right needs a wrong or else it has no way of knowing who/what it is. Can you define yourself from what you are as opposed to finding definition from what you are not? Can you define yourself from what you are instead of from what you assume others want? Detachment is to push away, to stop the flow. Non-attachment is to be in the flow without damming the river.

I’ve decided that presence is a quality of relationship – as flow is a quality of movement. We become fully present when we are neutrally buoyant in the world and not grasping or resisting, pushing or chasing. It’s a paradox: when you are present, separations drop away so to what are you in relationship? I imagine Ana would smile and say, “Exactly. That is love.”

Truly Powerful People (375)

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Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

In Bisbee, Arizona the library board holds a fundraiser on the Saturday before Valentines Day. It is an event that could have been designed just for me and I am still stunned at my good fortune to 1) have been in Bisbee, Arizona on the exact date of the fundraiser and 2) have a life partner (Lora) that arranged in advance for tickets. My knees went week when she told me what was in store for me in Bisbee.

Here’s how it works: Many of the town’s residents make their favorite chocolate concoction: chocolate nut clusters, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate coconut crunch monster bars, chocolate fudge, Mexican chocolate pudding, chocolate cakes and breads, chocolate truffles, chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate; dozens of choices. In the old library they set up long tables with chocolate choices; there is one station upstairs and one downstairs. $10 gets you in the door and six tickets; each ticket is traded for one selection of chocolate. You have to choose six! Out of the hundreds of possibilities, the amazing chocolate opportunities, you have to choose! No hording, no mouth and pocket stuffing, no tipping the tables contents into your pie hole. Delicious torture of the paths not taken with local granny’s to keep everyone on good behavior.

There are pots of coffee and tea strategically located near sitting areas. It is a commons, a place for people to meet and share their choices and discuss strategy. One older man with a miner forty-niner beard used his tickets as a divining rod; he let the tickets tell him what where the best choices. The lovely chatter was a high note dancing over the baseline of groans and moans of satisfaction, “What did you get? Oh, where did that come from! I didn’t see that one! Please, just a taste!”

In chocolate, everyone is a local. All are included in the community bonded in chocolate lust and the stories it invokes. I’m in some serious training to get ready for next year; I hit saturation far too soon and had to save some of my choices for later. Bisbee, 2013. I’ll meet you there.

Truly Powerful People (374)

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Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

Judy asked, “Where is the faith? Where does belief fit in to it all?” My favorite part about her question was that she did not expect a single answer. She was not looking for an absolute or a doctrine. She did not seek something she lacked. She was looking for a story.

Judy has spent a good deal of her life in nature. Her orthodoxy lives in the tide pools; her canon is told in the buds that are issuing forth from the trees. When Judy asks about faith she is more likely to seek an insight from the vibrations in her harp (she plays beautifully) or in the crayon drawing of her seven year old neighbor, Poppy than in a book – unless, of course, the book is poetry.

We talked story all afternoon and occasionally she would clap her hands and say, “There it is! That’s where faith comes in!”

Judy met me at the ferry terminal. It was raining and she was in her car playing with the color app on her phone. Her first words to me in greeting: “I’ve just created the most extraordinary color!” And then she hugged me as if I had something to do with it.

That’s where the faith comes in. That is life creating itself. “I have so many questions!” Judy laughed in mid hug. “I’ve named my color ‘farm’ though it’s not quite right yet.” Who needs belief in the face of such enormity?

Truly Powerful People (291)

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Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

Sammy showed up one day outside the door to my office. She was a white dog, a Samoyed. My office was in an old army barracks and my door opened to the sidewalk. I looked up from my desk and Sammy was looking at me. I knew the moment that I saw her that I was to be her steward though I didn’t know why. She knew it, too and I’m certain that she knew why but was not going to tell me.

She followed me around all that day and I took her home with me that night. The next day I put up flyers, Dog Found, all over campus. No one called. After the third day I took down the flyers; Sammy was mine to care for.

She was fully trained. She was easy to care for. She was happy and always by my side. Where did she come from? She had no collar, and no tags.

For a short time I had to hide Sammy from my landlord because I wasn’t supposed to have pets though I’d resigned my job and was moving at the end of the month so I wasn’t too concerned. My friend Roger was moving in and I didn’t want to make things difficult for him.

I moved a long way away, entered a time of deep turmoil and Sammy came with me, my constant companion, my studio dog, the steward of my transformation. She was never hooked by my story of pain, she never bought my doubts or reinforced my self-imposed limitations; she loved life regardless of the story I played and reminded me at crucial moments to step out of my story and breathe; a wagging tail, a reminder-bark, “It’s time for a walk. It’s time to get out of your head and that dark story you are telling.”

New Years eve, two years after leaving my old job and my old house to my friend Roger, I was driving through my old town on my way home. Sammy was suddenly very sick. Roger had given me his keys to the house in case I needed to stop. I needed to stop. Somehow (before the age of cell phones) I found a vet. It is uncanny to me that Sammy died in the place where I first found her. The vet told me that she had lupus and in dogs, the first episode presents as a false death. The second episode is the real death. I found her – well – she found me after the first episode. Someone had dumped her body thinking she was dead.

Her death was the straw that broke me. All that dark story and logjam of feeling came busting out. Everything that I had hidden, withheld, denied, feared, loathed, poured out of me. And then there was space for the new. Circles come back around. Loss brings found, growth is never linear, stories sometimes need catalysts to loosen our grip; sometime you hope the fall will kill you and you are grateful when it doesn’t. I thought I was her steward and she knew that she was mine. She had limited time and a big job to do. Unconditional love was the only trick in her bag and it worked like a charm. Circles come around and around and I’m still amazed at the coincidences and serendipity of my life. All I know is that letting go, as painful as it seems, will never kill you. Hanging on will slay you slowly every time.

Truly Powerful People (289)

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Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

My family had a tradition after opening gifts on Christmas morning. We’d pile together in a wrapping paper food fight and pelt each other with paper wads, tackle each other, bury each other in the tissue, ribbons, wrappings and boxes. Exhausted and exhilarated, with our bow-festooned heads poking out of the pile, we’d take a picture. We’d laugh and throw the paper again. We’d dog pile my father, my mother shouting, “Don’t hurt your father!”

This many years later I barely remember the gifts I was given or the stuff that I thought was so important to give, but I remember in vivid detail the paper throwing bacchanalia, the play and abandon in the celebration of our love for each other, the joy of having parents and brothers and a sister. Now, I like to think that the gift-giving part of the process was necessary only to generate the paper to throw.

Once, while spending the holiday at my sister’s home, I heard her shouting to her children as they piled onto my brother-in-law, “Don’t hurt your father!” All grown up now, my nieces and nephews carry on the tradition with their children.

Our rituals reveal the truth of us. I hope your rituals leave you laughing and yearning for more time with the people you love.

Truly Powerful People (283)

283.
Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

I seem to be having significant experiences in coffee houses these days. Today I was at the Uptown in West Seattle writing about Seeing and Focus Placement. Nearby sat a group of elderly woman having a serious yet laughter-filled conversation about their experiences of the divine. They were talking about what they worship and what they’ve learned about the focus of their worship (it was the word “focus” that caught my attention). One of the women said this phrase and I lurched for my pen to catch it word for word. She said, “The more you try to describe God the smaller you make God. I find it less and less important to even try. Why would I try to squeeze God into a box?”

I loved that question. Why would I squeeze God into a box?” I quickly did a Meister Eckhart Google search for a quote. I didn’t find the quote that I was looking for but this one serves the turn just as well: he said, “The eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me; my eye and God’s eye are one eye, one seeing, one knowing, one love.”

Your eyes are the eyes of the divine. So, the question is equally apt when I ask it this way: “Why would you squeeze your self into a box?” The more you try to label yourself, the smaller you will make yourself. You are infinitely complex. You are infinitely creative. You will only fit into a box that you create for yourself.

Truly Powerful People (258)

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Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

Recently, a woman in class used this glorious phrase: she said, “This week I’ve learned to linger. I’ve learned not to move too fast to the next thing.”

On this day of Thanksgiving, I am particularly grateful for all the people that I’ve met in Hastings, Nebraska who, among their many gifts to me, have helped me learn to linger.

Lingering looks a lot like tossing Runza fries to ducks. Lingering is spontaneously making sack puppets that drink beer through eye glasses-shaped straws. Lingering is playing hide-n-seek in high school halls with my twin. Lingering is a big red chair in the Blue Moon with a mocha and my favorite insatiable curious mind asking really good questions. Lingering is not going back to the hotel too soon, u-turns, mischief, and a really good soundtrack. Lingering is breaking boards in the back yard after drinking Fireflies and eating pizza. Lingering is a stroll through Prairie Loft, and gardens, and secret passages in barns.

Lingering is this capacity for love that I have learned that is as big as the Nebraska sky.

Truly Powerful People (233)

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Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

I had to go to the Radio Shack in the junction today and bumbled into a mass of zombies, goblins, superheroes and heroines, witches, mummies, frogs, ladybugs, princesses, multiple genetic copies of Darth Vader AND Luke Skywalker, hobos, vampires, miniature bankers (definitely the most frightening costume), and even a few headless horsemen. It was impressive! Had any of them been taller than 3 feet I might have felt something other than warm and fuzzy (though I pretended to be frightened more than once). The parents dressed in costume, too – they were taller than 3 feet but were careful to let us know that they didn’t really think they were monsters. The shopkeepers were also in costume and jolly passing out candy to the mob.

There was panic in the Radio Shack because they were running out of candy. The manager opened his wallet and sent one of his employees running (literally, he said, “Run! Now!”) to the market to get more candy. He didn’t want any of the kids in costume to be disappointed and the bucket was nearly bare. It was personal and I loved him for that. He looked at me and exclaimed, “We’ve gone through bags and bags of candy and still they keep coming! I don’t want anyone to go away disappointed.”

After leaving the RadioShack (I turned down the mini-Snickers that was offered me. The manager thanked me for leaving candy for the kids. He was so earnest that I laughed out loud), I sat on a corner and watched the heaps of generosity. Every direction I looked, I saw people helping people cross the road, enter shops, herd kids, calm high excitement, feign terror, bow to little royalty, share, share, share.

This is who we are. It is always so close to the surface and beyond beautiful when it reveals itself. And, you’ll be happy to know, the Radio Shack employee made it back to the store, huffing and puffing, with arms full of candy just moments before the bucket went empty. The manager nearly wept with relief.

It’s the little things that make living so grand.